notes to people who may or may not read this...

1)Well now, apparently the other day was a big communication error... Sorry bro...

2)I don't care who your fucking this week,so stop telling people to tell me you are not fucking them... And when I see you, stop being a fucking bitch. I am always polite and nice to you, so there is no real reason for you to continually act like a ten year old who just got the pink bike instead of the miniture pony you wanted.... Act your age...

3)I am glad you are back, thanks for the calls. Perhaps we can hang out some time when I have a chance...

4)Every time I see you now, I will try and torture you as much as possible... Only because I know that my presence bothers you so much.... If they could only fill those things with brains....

5)I cant wait to see you again, even though I only saw you this morning there never seems to be enough time....

6)Note to self, get to work!!!

to be cont.

Who the hell is this guy ZACK

Here is a link to the answers you have all been waiting for.... Yup I've been profiled by answering a few questiones... I think

that they came pretty close, but I really dont fit into any group. At least not one where I can be told who I am and why....

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (60%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness (43%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (80%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

HMM... Interesting, took this goofy little test this morning and it came up with this... I don't know if I agree but thats what it said.

I just didn't feel like going to church this morning... Or work... hahahahaha... Like you would ever catch me going to church! But I have been getting into this preping for my mornings before I go to bed. Coffee ready to just pour hot water into, washed to go mugs, lunch ready and bagged to take with me... Routine shit, stuff that "normal" people do everyday. Who ever the fuck they are. I've generally been getting to work on time and with a decent attitude. I'ts nice to get to work and be awake and in a good mood. Doesn't happen all that often and when it does it's a good deal for every one. When I'm in a good mood, everyone around me at work has a more pleasent morning.

Mechanic rant: We brought our fifty thousand dollar truck to you. You were the fucking specialist. You charged over three thousand dollars to replace and bullet proof a heavy duty transmission. In three days it failed. I told you on the phone what happened and you told me "That's impossible". I brought it back to you and you tried to blame me for the work I did upgrading the truck years back was the culprit. But on the reciept you gave us; that we paid in full; you stated that your company did a "complete cooling assembly flush and test." Why then, this morning did you call and tell us that the cooling system is plugged. Why did you and your highly trained batch of "service techs" not notice that when the transmission overheated the first time we brought it to you, that the cooling system was not functioning? Hmm... Let me break it down for you. It OVER HEATED, one might naturally think to first look at the COOLING SYSTEM.

Maybe I'm an asshole. But when we brought it to you and told you that this will be the third transmission since ford installed the first one that you might think to ask a few questions... Instaed of thinking you are the fucking best transmission specialest in the world. Who is the asshole now.. No, I dont feel bad for you that you just ate three thousand plus dollars. No, I dont even feel bad that you had to call and apologize for wasting our time and money, I do feel bad for you that a back yard mechanic with no proper training, who specializes in nothing told you what was wrong and then listened to you tell me that "we see this all the time", one upped you... we will be stopping by to watch you bust your knuckles and cry putting in a second transmission later this week...

I hate mechanics...

FRIENDS POST...

Was reading a friends blog this morning and it sounds like someone is going to throw and 80's prom party... You know, where you dress up like you are going to the prom, in the 80's... So I'd thought I'd post this picture/comic...

Yes, you are all getting sick of these cartoons, too bad... Not really, I'll stop posting them for every post i do, but this one was just pretty funny... Have fun at the prom party!!!

THINGS I WAS A PART OF TODAY...

tHIS POST WAS HEAVILY EDITED... I STARTED TO OFFEND EVERYONE. SO I WACKED OUT ABOUT HALF OF THIS DRUNKIN RANT AFTER READING IT AGAIN THIS MORNING...

No shit, Interesting day I say... Where do i start? I'll start at midnight this morning...

Buddies house, Hot tub... Ring a bell, nice... Water was a little low, so the jets were going nuts when they breached the upper edge, but it was nice to sit outdoors in the semi-rain with someone who likes you...
HMMMM...

"Wash" off the chlorine and scrub down in the shower afterwards, spent enough time in there to empty the water heater.... (heh)..... Found a note that said that "BUDDY" and his girlfriend were at the neighbors...

We go to the neighbors house, (its now around one a.m.) sneak up to the door and pretend to be cops....

I pound heavy on the door. "Open up it's the police!" In that oh so official voice...
Movement from inside... Scuffling, and some quiet voices...
Door opens....

So are the arms and good vibes!!!!
We are actually at a cops house, so the joke was not as appreciated as it would have been anywhere else....

To tell the truth we were at a friends house. She is a senior park ranger. (carries guns, automatics and a shotgun. In the patrol car type, asides from the holstered 9-mm. and secret one she hides else where. she is packing) Her hubby is a nurse at the upscale hospital in town as well as a park aid... (Got to have multiple jobs in this town if you want to live here... Can you say spendy?)

(Its at this point I can no longer hold back and have to say I'm a little angsty, have had a few beers and a shot of Yeagermeister this evening.) I digress...

We hang long enough there to watch our friendly ranger go to bed and we leave politely and drunk shortly there after.... on our way home we stop at the local bar. (The premise there was to return a kids movie I rented days before and to have a last drink...) Yes, our town is so small that the bars here double as movie rental stores, ice cream shops, general stores and gas stations.... What ever it takes to fleece the average tourist of all the money they can. We see some locals and feel the vibe there is weird... We give a shit, there really isn't much here that can affect us. We have fun! drive home and....

Three a.m. manage to pass out...

Wake up, spend the morning and early afternoon in bed.... Coffee, leftover pizza and such. I get "what did you do to me, I cant feel my legs" to work, eighteen minutes late. Oops! I chase down some mud to do a few doughnuts in,(that's where you drive around in mud and throw dirt up all over the place like a teenager with his/her first car. I'm still a kid a heart.) "Simple pleasures" ring a bell...

Then listened to my messages...

"Dude, I'm having people over tonight but I've invited other people..." "BUDDY" says.

This means people are invited that don't like me. I'll say this for BUDDY, he is my friend, (he is doing the best he can. in a situation where he is trying to be friends with two people who do not get along anymore.) Kudos bro.

Then there were two messages from yesterday... not important.

So i roll over to BUDDIES house... I was welcomed with open arms. a beer as i walk in, a bag of homemade jerky is presented to me as i read through the latest issue of "Shooter" magazine. A hardly used scented candle as a gift and a blow job... (Ha ha ha! just kidding.) I wouldn't want a blow job from BUDDY, I hear he likes to bite! (More jokes!!)

So, some readers might be getting bored by this point in my day... TFB. Go watch T.V. I don't even know whats on. So I cant slander you. Is real world still going? How bout shark week? Pimp my ride? Fuck it, beat it... I've had four blips since I've stated writing.... Don't know what that means? You don't read here enough... Go watch football reruns.

While I'm sitting, enjoying BUDDIES cheap beer and watching "The Scorpion King" on his uber expensive flat screen a car pulls up.

"Dude, my GUESTS are arriving... uhhh... what are you going to do?" He is obviously uncomfortable.

"What? Oh... I'm going to finish my beer and then I'm fuckin out of here." I casually say.

"Oh, okay, I'll see what they are going to do..." He leaves. Goes outside and his girlfriend looks at me hopelessly.

I turn red, Embarrassment sets in. "Fuck it" I say "I'm outta here. "you suck!" I say to myself.

Outside I go and "huge tits with no class" has pulled up. I grab a few beers from the stack and try to split...

"Yo Z!!!" I hear, From the shit box subaru passenger window...

Two old buddies jump out and we all go through the pleasantries... Don't let me belittle them here.... We talk to each other for a while and get back into the sort of friendly chat that we all used to have... To tell you the truth, it was really nice... Yes, it was the circumstance of us all being in the same place at the same time, but it felt like old times...

Huge tits with no class starts calling out for her boyfriend after a couple minutes...(She went right inside when she noticed me... Too many mammories not enough memories to have any respect for me or herself.) Boyfriend actually stayed outside for a few more minutes... Cool, a sliver of something real for me... Thanx boys, I'll remember that!

Want to be friends with every one? Possible.... Want to not offend someone? Not possible.. Sorry, tonight that sucked. Huge tits? I don't have them, do I care? No!

You thought someone else was coming over.... She didn't, Saw her at Fern wood with "holiday"... In arms... hahaha... Predictable...They left, so did I, Then they rolled up to River Inn, saw me again and then burnt tire to go up to apple pie....

So here I sit waiting for the best part of my life to show up... Watching people park next to my truck and get the shit knocked scared into them by my over aggressive, super friendly when I'm there, pit bull...

How does it go??? "Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives...." That's a T.V. reference,,, Soap opera style....

WTF? Blogger MADE me change to new blogger this morning... It seems there are just more fucking steps to get into this shit now... (Can you tell I'm a little annoyed?)

And now I've found these funny ass comics to post here as well, perhaps I'll put one in every now and then... Hopefully not too many, some of you might not want to read any sick humor. But whatever for you if you don't. This one is not that sick, but since I had to change to new blogger and leave the old one behind, I thought it was appropriate.

Quitting smoking is making me grouchy, I hate it. Being controlled by thoughts of my own, ones that don't let me think about the task at hand... On my way to town I was getting down on myself, really bummed me out, you know what I did? Bought some smokes... Yep, smoked a good deal of them too... I was going to town to do a little shopping and treat myself to something just for me.... Did I do it? No, I was a bit melancholy and said fuck it, when I deserve it, I'll buy it...lame I know...

Then I get home, back hurts like some one is shoving a shovel up my right side spine, so i lay on the floor to remove some pain and pass out... No dishes done, no laundry, didn't clean the rug like I wanted to. (One of the dogs barfed up a gallon of water onto it from the beach a few nights ago. It's been sitting outside since... gross.) yeah poor me, I'm not getting any house work done...

I'm just frustrated, I hate quitting smoking. I like to smoke, I like smokers and being outside. Being part of a special group who turn their noses at common sense and pollute their bodies and everyone around them. I like the smell, the ritual and having a light or smoke when some one needs one...

It's not just the act of smoking you quit, but the people, the back door access, the ability to leave an uncomfortable situation because, "oh hey, I'll be right back, i need a smoke..." You quit it all...

Bitch, bitch, bitch... You non smokers might have a clue but you have no idea... I took two smokes from the pack that I left with "working yet another double shift girl" this morning and I'm through those already... they were supposed to last me till four o'clock... grrr....

"That's all i have to say about that...."

P.S. Spell check on new blogger sux ass!!! it doesn't give you the option to "replace all" Nor does it correct capitalization errors... FU blogger....

OKAY, I stole this pic from a fellow bloggers site... I thought it was funny, really funny... So now its on mine! thanx Sushi... Any way, I'm trying not to smoke, not to have cigarettes in my possesion. Its been real tough.. Sometimes its really easy, yesterday, less than five smokes.. Night before however, a lot, less than a pack but more then usual...

Was at ferwood and started talking about a woman in town who ill skip her details, But her daughter was just killed in an unnecessary accident... It saddening. (more here.) and we sat and chained smoked for a while and drank away a few tears. When kids die, it just plain sucks ass.

So I'm keeping up with the quitting smoking. Cold turkey was the plan, but weaning off seems so much more my style. After twenty something years of smoking and being a smoker, the life style, the fun, (for you nonsmokers, its fun...), the easing qualities that it has, its tough to just walk away..

Other news, well, its fucking cold here.. Yeah, okay I wear shorts all year so I cant complain, but its really cold.. Um... Shit work is calling, hope to be back soon...

MINUTES LEFT...

YUP LUNCH IS ALMOST OVER... After going to town for parts this morning, I got to meet up with the girls for some bagels... Funny how everyone wanted someone elses bagel... We were all eyeing the bagel dog! Yes and screaming ensued as soon as one of us took the first bite of the seemingly unwanted bagel... Funny to be on the other side of things...

Normally if I heard a child in a restaurant complaining and throwing a fit I would offer up some duct tape and bailing wire... I've never held back from it, always have I obnoxiously voiced my opinion... So it was very amusing to be at the table with the cranky child... Fun accually... Reverse attitude I had, when we were glared at I, pulled back my hat and gave my best "fuck you asshole" look right back... hah... I'm still laughing inside right now!

Anyway, I leave town, fire down the coast and head directly to post ranch... One of our cement silos has thrown a feeder chain, back to the shop, ask a couple of questions and jam back up to the silo site with tools... Fixed in minutes flat... pat self on back and pass by the store where they sell cigarettes for the fourth time. What strength!!! As soon as I get into the office the radio lights up... Looking for me.

KW4 has blown an inner cooler bellow band...(like that? Sounds like I know what the fuck I'm talking about!) drive past the store up the hill and fix the problem... The bellow is getting a lot of movement and I think the cooler might be getting plugged... Lame, very expensive part!!! Drive back to the shop and pow!!! Right into the store and purchase a pack of smokes... Loser... I've been doing okay on the smoking... Some days are really easy, two/two and a half smokes a day... Saturday? Pack of smokes.. Loser... I was having an angsty day, drunk by noon and general pretty pissed off at the world... So I smoked, didn't feel too bad about it either...

Well I've got to go... Back to work... Perhaps ill post some more this evening!! Good day to you all!

Okay, okay...

Yes the picture below is a little out of place... Blogger has not let me post any photos in a while... So I thought id try this one and it worked... Means nothing I just thought it was kind of funny?? Weird?? I dunno, hope you all enjoy it!

BETTER DAYS!

Drove up to my house to meet with my landlord this morning and it had snowed!!! Sweet!!! I love snow in coastal California, how cool is that?!?!? It was like a fall day on the east coast! You know, cold as hell but that nice dry cold... Not the dank wet freezing cold that California normally has... The water got straight frozen out of it... I hope some of it stays on the ground until tonight... The girls are coming over and it would be fun to see them enjoy it!

Other news... Was at the bar last night, had a twelve year old scotch, courtesy of the bartender... A bud, and then the other bar tender came in and made us a new version of a kamikaze... Grapefruit flavored vodka in stead of regular... Now I know you cant make a kamikaze any better that it already is, but this was interesting enough for me to order another one some day... Then went to tiddleywinks house and promptly passed the fuck out...(okay there was a shower inbetween, I was filthy from work.) but in about five seconds I was out...

New tires on my truck... So huge! Not really, but they are bigger and now i at least i have some traction for the muddy road to my house!! Those ate up my tattoo money for this month but its still coming... Alright I have to get to work... Be back soon!!!

AN END TO SORRY....

Sorry to those who read and check in here everyday only to find no new posts, no comments uploaded and nothing new really happening at inner voices...

Sorry to all the "friends I've been offending these past two months..

Sorry to the dogs who have been getting toted around in my truck with truck/tractor parts and oils and such... Things will be better soon...

Sorry to my family who I never call, call back or try to get in touch with as often as I should...

Sorry to all the other things/bullshit/drama that I haven't dealt with...

But guess what?!?1 I'm not fucking sorry any more... I'm doing the best I can... My back feels like its going to break... I'm not complaining about it anymore! I'm on crack down at work so I don't get the time I'm used to having on the internet... So its not my fault, I cant do anything about it! I wish I had more time... I don't... Thank you is what I will say from now on... For reading and commenting and being who you all are!!

If I've been offending you these months or you don't agree with what I do... Again, fuck you, fuck your dog, fuck your group of back-stabbing fair weather friends and enjoy the ignorance of being close minded hypocrites... Oh and get your own life to worry about, stop cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend, stop pretending you are someone you are not and now that I'm no longer in your lives it should be really easy for you to find someone else to project your feelings of inadequacy on to... Oh and fuck you!!! How do you like me now...

Dogs are dogs and as long as they can come along or go for a ride they will be happy to shit, puke, hump, eat and sleep where ever the hell I am... So thank you beau and Charlie for being dogs.... I know you have no other choice but to love me and follow me around so I will try to give you a few more pats on the head....


My family knows I don't call, write, communicate or answer the phone when I'm supposed to so there is no real reason to address that... But I will try to be a better person when it comes to thanking them for gifts, love, and all the things that do happen for me because of them...

And about all the other things that I'm not dealing with right now.... If I'm not handling something, fuck it, its no longer important to me... Bye bye...


Well that feels a little better, I just wanted to let that out today... Little pent up shit there but now its gone... Events have unfolded and I'm right where I want to be in my life!! What you say?!?!? Happy? You ask... hahaha... Damn straight, I've got enough beautiful things on my plate to make any person happy for the rest of their lives and here I am right in the middle of it all... Bliss...

So happy fucking new year all and to let you know, this was just an end to sorry...

FEW THINGS!

I just wanted to say thanks for the positive responses to my last few posts.. Its hard when your life changes and for what ever reason people choose e to be completely fucking lame... And then when you do see them its like nothing that they have done is hurting you... So I just wanted to say thanks to my readers that have said some nice things and thanks to my friends who have stuck by me over these years of my life.... Truly you are some of the best friends a man/ person could have...

so other news... I'm thinking that tomorrow is the day I quit smoking... Yeah how many times have I said it, but I'm going to give it a trail run starting Thursday... So I guess that makes today the last day... I will see how it goes... Wish me luck!!!

my back hurts... (bitch, bitch, bitch...) got to go... More later...

Hello lurking reader from l.a. Are you the hate machine?

ANOTHER DAY!!!

I NEED SOME FUCKING COFFEE!!!! May be ill make another cup?!?!? Its too early to be up on a day off.. I'm supposed to have lunch with a friend, we will see if she calls. My buddy g is in town, hopefully ill get to see his ass today as well! If not, who cares, I have so much shit I should be doing anyway.... Need to go up to my house, figure what's wrong with my generator! Do some ffing laundry and clean up! I've been such a slacker when I've been there lately, just wanting to enjoy my company and such...

Need to go to town so I can deposit some money and write some checks. Do some shopping and get a few items on my own wish list.... I'm still getting the tattoo I want, its just going to have to be at the right time... Cant rush things just because I want them to happen. Make sense? Good...

I still have not fixed my truck! WTF? I don't know why when people sell their vehicles they sometimes list them as a mechanics special.... I never work on my shit, in fact asides from the steering rack and tie rod ends I have yet to install, I'm like 2000 miles over due for an oil change! I need new tires badly! Can you say metal bands are breaking through what's left of the tread! Ugh...

Other then those mornings grumblings I'm doing great! The dogs took an hour long walkabout by themselves... Beau came back first and I heard Charlie trying to get in a minute ago.... Not okay! Having a large pit bull running around loose in these parts is only a recipe for death.... Either someone's cats or his own by a ranchers 30/30.... So beau has lost his freedom once again, he was doing so well here... Its when the two boys (Charlie is a huge yellow lab) get together, their I.Q. goes down even more then the score of three that they have now... They don't think and just run wild, like they should be able too, but its just not okay when one has a record of killing small things...

Anyway have a great day all and enjoy what's left of your holidays!!!

IN OTHER NEWS...

SPELL CHECK IS NOT WORKING.... im useing a mac and im completly confused by it.... mac book... lap top.. i want to free stlye some writing here but its so slow... (my typing..) im reading the fountainhead by ayn rand right now... fucking insane book.... copywrite 1943!!! has anyone ever read this book?!?!? oh and i like to read alot. in case you didnt know. i may have not ever said that, but i do.... (is there a way to make these keys more sensitive? n's and t's dont like to show up when i type them.) im also watching a movie right now for the second time... da vinchi code? some shit... could they have fucked up on the casting a little worse? decent movie but i bet it was a much better book! anyway... only a few more days of holiday cheer left, trees come down lights go off and work begins for the new year. im afraid of quitting smoking, i dont want to be a grouch... its so soothing. calming, killing, deadly.... err... im so torn. i hate my self for it more and more... well im tired, so long, ill be back soon!!

just so you all know....

This really wont make any sense to most of those who read here, it has nothing to do with you.... Its something im going through here in the real world. quite frankly im begining to get a little pissed off. even more so, ive lost respect for most of you. Fuck you accually. Go to hell. ive been through more shit in this town then you will ever even know of, you think you know me? try again...

So losing your friendship will ultimately mean nothing to me. Ive been here so long Ive forgotten half the shit you have talked about me over the years... not even to my face, but behind my back as you do now... very easy to be bold when im not there to hear it... (much as im doing now.i stoop to your level for the sake of tact and respect of the evening.) So I will not dwell here more then i have to... You will only be worth these last few moments of my time...

The good friends I have now, lie to me... Good friends I have now are gone to me... Good bye, I care less. Ill still be nice to you and see you all in the sur, but im tired of trying to be a part of your lives, yet again, go to hell. I feel (and I may be wrong) that i have done more for you all, than you could ever repay me for... Yeah im an asshole and standing on a box but i dont have any problems saying it out loud in a crowd either. im not fucking pretending to be anybody Im not...

I am not beyond reproach mind you. i have done some things that i know were not right in the past. so be it. i am who i am today because i have done the things i have done, and i stand here proud and strong and i say fuck you! i wasted my time. im sorry it took me so long to figure it out... its only affecting me now because im letting it... When this post is finished, these emotions will be complete.

So knowing that most of you who this is directed to will never be the wiser of these rants i will write no further and i will conclude with this.... keep being who you are, you are all wonderfull in your own ways... what you dont know about me is that you really never knew me.

I HAVE JUST BECOME ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING PEOPLE!!!

Here I sit for one more minute. I just have to tell you this... I'm sitting in a restaurant with friends, who are eating... I wanted to be at the bar, but its full... I borrowed this computer to check a few things and now I'm here, not in the conversation with my head stuck into my internet ass... hahahaha... Bye.

WELL THEN...

What a whirlwind of magic and wonderment... These days of Christmas have been the best I've had since I was able to be excited for a holiday since I was a kid. I'm sitting here in front of a Christmas tree with gifts for children strewn about everywhere! How fucking awesome was that?!?! Watching kids get giddy with excitement and barely even contain themselves... Yet they thanked their mom for nearly every gift opened. Damn... How much of a treat to be a part of that... I'm just beside my self, sorry..

Sorry to all, I have not been writing back and have not been posting much. I haven't been next to a computer in a while and the modem on the dial up on my computer at home has taken a huge shit... Locks up my whole system... I was using the internet last week and my generator started to pulse and I think it jacked my p.c. such as life...

Things are changing fast, I like it! I have someone new in my life and seem to have less time to sit around and sulk and bitch about my life... I like the direction I'm going in... I'm making an appointment this week to get some quitting smoking aids... Need to quit, want to quit, have to quit...

Okay, lame post... Ill be back... I'm watching a movie and not really paying attention...

By the way...

Video below is not me or anyone I know... I'm a drinker, not a complete fucking moron! Enjoy!

HARD MORNING...

I cant seem to get started this morning... I want to motivate. Everyone here is cranky, (I'm at work). And its bringing me down. I had a bit of an off morning. I woke up earlier than my alarm clock required and its been a step off ever since. I dunno.

It seems I'm quite affected by my surroundings as of late. I feel like I might be bringing someone down. As much as I try to do the right thing, I cant seem to get it exactly right. Like this morning I somehow feel like I already fucked up. I don't know how many times I said I was sorry for things, but it wasn't necessary. I didn't do any thing wrong... I just wasn't paying attention like I should have been... I'm sorry.

Holidays are coming and this is the first year I'm excited! I really am... I will get to be around kids and watch their eyes light up and hear little squeals of joy. That's what Christmas should be about. That's what I want it to be about! I'm so humbled by her children. They are amazing.

Hopefully things will be a little more straightened out by lunch, at lunch, after lunch??? I hope.

This is just where my head is today. Right now. I need to figure out where my head is at, I seem to be in space somewhere. I'm not quite sure why...

ILL BE BACK SOON I PROMISE!!!!

WOW!!!

I SAW THE MOST AMAZING THINGS LAST NIGHT... In no particular order: I watched sixty people shut the fuck up at the pub and jaws drop as my beautiful date slid into a chair, picked up the microphone and sang the most sexy song I've heard ever... ever!!! Something about take me to extacy... Oh god, my knees are weak talking about it now... Then she dedicates a song to her girlfriend and sings something in Spanish, jaws hit the floor and people erupted when she finished...

I am the luckiest man in the world...

We watched a couple fight like you wouldn't believe... Screaming at each other in the parking lot. Fucking drunks, go home and battle it out... (I remember all too well how its like to fight like that...) The female portion of the argument had a friend there backing her up... Who does that? Stands there and gets into a couples argument and says, "yeah" and "you are such an asshole?" or "you go girl.." Why?

I watched a several girls go into the ladies room and heard them laugh and giggle for a while and come out all wearing each others lipstick.... hmmm... What's really happening there?

anyway... I had a great night, I think I'm still drunk, so I'll come back later and post something that has a timeline and makes more sense... Have a great morning!!

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

Was it the four cups of coffee at blaze this morning or the one before that on the ridge? Was it the six cokes at river inn on my two hour lunch or the iced tea I just drank? What is making me so jittery? So buzzing... I'm trying to give up afternoon caffeine. Cant you tell..

I used to be wicked into coca-colas... All day. So much so, the guys here at work noticed enough to show me how much... On a Friday, a couple of years ago they brought me an entire garbage can full of cans, bottles and two liters of empty soda...

"This is how much you drank of this crap this week!!"

"Oh, I guess I have a problem."

"Yeah..."

Well, I tell you it was not as hard as giving up cigarettes will be, but it was tough...

I seem to be getting less sleep these days and am in need of a little spike in the afternoon. My hands are vibrating.... Anyway thought id let you all know what was on my mind at this second, seeing how I'm acting quite A.D.D. right now... Have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up! hahahaha... (that was a Eddy Murphy joke about Bill Cosby)

NEW TRUCK FEVER.

Its happened. I've seen the truck that I want. How do I get it? I'm two payments away from owning my present truck and now I've seen the one I really need. Four doors! What would life be like if I could put my seat back! Oh god how nice would that be?Ill be back....

WHERE HAVE I BEEN!

Sorry folks but I've been busy.. Yah yah, who isn't? I know I've let some people down by not being here as often as I could! Work has been nuggin futs, when I'm at home the last thing I feel like doing is sitting in front of a computer these days... I've had wonderful company and she make me forget that the world is around us... I look at my watch and blip its the next day and I'm late to work! Holidays are coming and time seems short for everyone!! So sorry to all and hopefully I can post something today of substance..

I had a great conversation with friends last night! More on that later!

It seems I need to reserve my seat at the fucking bar I normally live at now a days. There seems to be some sort of conflict as to when I'm "allowed" to be there. I'm trying to be nice about things and give people the space they need but I'm getting pretty sick of all this high school bullshit!

IF YOU ARE FUCKING MY EX, I THINK THAT IS GREAT! I DONT CARE. She needs some attention and someone to treat her nice. Be respectful and be a man. Show her love and shower her with affection. If your not, you should be. She has the capability to be a very nice woman. I don't mind, care, oppose, object or anything. She deserves someone who desires her.

Do not make me unwanted in the bar. Do not make her situation with me your situation, because I don't care! Thank you. If you are trying to hide something, don't. It will make you both feel like shit! I know, be honest and don't worry about the drama. Life is too short! That's all I have to say about that.

In other news! I think I screwed up my nice washing machine.(what the fuck is this guy typing you ask?) but the power in my solar system was kind of janky the other night and the generator was running like shit, and the washer now just fills up with water counts down the minutes and drains the water at the end... hmmm. Hopefully it fixes it self by the time I get home today!

The fucking crane I'm working on today is not being very helpful. I just put a $536.58 alternator on it and it is not charging! I called my parts guy at Cal crane and he is trying to figure it out.. Will be returning my calls shortly!

Anyway... I sat at my bar last night and put back a few cold ones... (they freeze the glasses and boast the coldest beer in town!) sat with D, Tim, lace and Ltrain! "nice to be back" was how I was feeling! I was trying to convince D that she needed to get some action. If she is not finding what she wants here she might find it else where! (lace needs some too. What's with the lame boys around here who don't see the hot chics? Weird I live in a town full of men who have forgotten how to treat women!!!)

But the conversations were light and fun, it was great to catch up with everyone! Ltrain is happy for me and likes to see me in such a good mood recently... He is also in the "I'm so fucking happy I don't know what to do with my self" stage of life. Normally we sit around and groan and bitch and smoke and smoke and smoke and drink, etc... You get the idea! He just got a five dollar raise which he deserved months ago, but its still nice when that happens!

From there I went over to the roadhouse where the lovely ladyfriend of mine works... They were just closing up and I managed to get in a quick order...

"Can I get the burger and fries"

"Ahh yes, well no.sorry man we are out of buns, but ill give you a steak for the same price.."

"No worries man, give me the burger with no bun, and a beer and ill be happy with the company" I said.

Somehow nothing seems to matter when I'm around her. We eat and share a few bites of her dinner and head out the next stop. Roll in to ferndog and order up a couple of gin and tonics... The bartender there seems to know exactly what we need and doubles them for us. Friends come in and join us and we go out for a smoke...

Now here is something funny. There are some crank heads out back. Smoking... They talk at us a million miles an hour and I make a few comments about how they should stop doing drugs! At first they were taken aback, but I said it to them in such a non confrontational way that it was like they were cool doing it...(I dunno what that means but it works..) they left.

Just as I hear, "I cant see" we order another round and fill the juke box up with change and dance for a while... I love it... Close to an empty bar with people watching Harry potter on the wide screen and here we go and ask the tender if she can turn it up!

Lets see, in other news.... I almost have all the parts to put a complete, new steering system on my truck! Hopefully to be finished soon! Okay, ill post later... This is really making no sense...

Flat backin it!

Yep, no lifts here... No mechanic pit, hole in the ground, or anything holding this shit up... Just lay flat on my back and watch everything spill, fall, seep into my eyes... Love it... Cant see shit and I'm usually pretty fucking dirty by the end of the day, but I just needed a break to wash some M.E.K. out. (I'ts very toxic shit, I use it all the time... Cleans grease off instanly! Also the stuff breaks down DNA.) And while the left eye returns to normal I had thought id come in here to write a quick little note.

Tonight I go out for drinks! Yah! And drinks I will have! Many, if all goes well... At several different bars, and with several different bartenders. (would be a little weird if it was the same bartender at every place!) I get to sleep in tomorrow, I told them I'd be too hung over in the morning for me to even bother... So well, wish me luck, I will have beautiful company and wont be driving very far at all... Enjoy your evenings and be safe, its a sober world out there!!!

WHAT IS WITH TIME THESE DAYS...

Where does it go? Today for instance... The alarm goes off at six thirty, wake up and enjoy the morning. Look at the clock again and I have less than two minutes to be to work by eight. WTF? Hour and a half, poof!

Skip coffee and fire down the mountain to work, four minutes late. Get set up in my office and head out into the yard, KW4 miraculously started! Batteries are on order, they have not been holding a charge. Help get the guys out of the yard and out of my way. Start to replace the fuel pump in the Chevy. A job I've been trying to get to for at least a week. It really should only take me a couple of hours; pump, new fuel lines to the selector valve and test. Well as soon as I'm spilling fuel on to myself and the ground I get a call from my tire guy reminding me about the new Michelin we ordered.( I guess its big enough to be in the way of there showroom.) then I get a call on the radio, "come fix it, we broke it." by the time I get back to the yard and order some parts, its lunch... Where the hell did the last four hours go?

I fire up the ridge for some of the best fucking lunch I've ever had. "record breaking" I was told. Her smile at this point is killing me. Look at the clock again and WTF?!?! I've been gone for an hour and a half! Jam down the mountain and run into some one grading the road. No pull outs, no nothing.. Back up and into a culvert head with company behind me and wait for him to go by. Ten more minutes... ( I get another chance to say goodbye.)

Back to work on the Chevy when I get another call from my auto parts guy who I've been trying to track down since mid morning. He still doesn't have my fucking parts!! He sold me some shit the week before that knocked out the power control module in one of our new Fords! Ass!! So its been down for three working days! One more hour gone!

Back out to the yard and I have to load some gravel for an old company friend, I never do this but he is old and one of his hands is fucked up so I don't have a problem trying to squeeze the time in for him. Then some fucking tourists roll in and want to buy some diesel... I make ten bucks off them... I'd like to smack the gas station attendants here for telling them we are the only diesel in thirty miles... Over a hundred if they are going south... Anyway... Another hour down...

Its three thirty almost and my guy still hasn't called me back! I call his supplier and find out that the part is still in fucking salinas. They missed the pick up and screwed me again... thanx. As I am walking out of the office, parts guy calls me and says it will be in his hands by ten o'clock in the morning. His supplier must have been pissed at the ration of shit i gave to him.

"Not good enough." I say.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked with out really meaning it.

"Get in your car and drive over there and I'll meet you halfway in between." I reply knowing full well he is not going to do shit.

"I cant, I'm the only one here." lieing again.

I hang up. Jump into my truck which of course has no gas, fill up and drive straight to this guys work, point to the fucking retard standing next to him behind the counter and yell something like; "who the fuck is that asshole? Does he not have a license? Could he have not driven over there and missed all the fucking traffic I am now going to have to sit in? WTF?"

I walk out. Race to the salinas auto mall, get there just as some some dumb ding dong is trying to close ten minutes early and damn near rip her arm off as I get to the door a milli-second before she turns the lock.

"We are closed." she says quite matter of factly and with a bit of annoyance.

"Look honey, the clock over there says five twenty. Which means you are open for ten more minutes. I have a life too, I just drove an hour and a half to get here to get a part your people forgot to deliver this morning. I don't care if your boss left early, but I'm here to collect my parts." you can guess how well that went over with her as I push past her huge purse and over to the parts counter.

Now every parts place has a "will call" box, I find it, locate my parts and sign the pick up tag.. I am now receiving some earfull of un-intelligible horse shit, half in Spanish and half in some English dialect I think is called raging bitch...

Back to the door which she locked in order to; I don't know keep me there until some one came to help her... Funny enough she left her keys sticking out of the lock... This one had her thinking cap on! "Ala... peanut butter.... sandwhiches...." Door opens, I smile at her.

Yeah, what you want is some angry white man talking to your supervisor about how rude you were to me and after explaining to him that his team of people dropped the ball on a company that spends... Oh, I guess several thousands dollars a month from them. ( not much, but every penny counts in the parts biz.) and how you were in such a hurry to get to your whatever event ten minutes early that you could not afford me the forty five seconds of time it took for me to get what I needed. Yes this one was thinking very clearly.

"Fuck you very much for the parts" I wave and leave. Blow off some steam by driving around the Toyota dealership looking for a four door Tacoma, used, the new ones look like shit and are over priced! How funny are sales men? Huge lot and they see me driving around it. Normally people get out and walk... I don't think I was supposed to be driving around in there...Oops... Avoided them and headed home...

Well due to all of the money that the "govenator" has granted our local highway repair people, we have a royal clusterfuck happening on my exit... Two hours later, I'm home...

Make some leftovers... (Alaskan venison my buddy just brought back from hunting, with a Chantrell and Boleet mushroom gravy, the last of my garlic mashed potatoes and some garlic bread.) which I burnt again!!! What is my problem with that? I cant make garlic bread with out fucking burning it to a nice aromatic dark black.... Err....

Fourteen and a half hours after waking up, I'm home, fed and cracking open my first beer. Ahoy.. Relax. Where the hell does the time go...

A LITTLE NORMAL FOR YOU

I THINK IM GOING TO GET ANOTHER TATTOO NEXT WEEK! Yeah, I know, how about finishing the three foot tall angel on my back first? Its getting there.. Well no its not but I'm happy where she is now, for now... I don't really know how I want to shade in the lower half of her wings yet so ill wait... But I think in the next couple of weeks ill go in and decide what I want right then and there... As usual I don't really spend too much time on having to know exactly what I want and where I want it be forehand. I have a few ideas, I know about where its going to go and around how much I want to spend...

I have a few shops I've been to, in the search for the right woman to do my angel project and met a couple of other good artists along the way. So ill go and check them out again and see who wants to make some money. I feel need the need to bleed.

Not quite sure how I get these desires, but I don't fight them... One of them was when my grampa died, another from when my mom died. Right shoulder was when I moved to California at sixteen and left shoulder was a timely cover-up for a tat I did myself when I was thirteen... I'm feeling another change in my life right now and feel its time to make it... Some good things are happening and am in a good space.

What do you all think? Yeah... "yer crazy!" or "what, another tattoo?"

Well, ill have you all know, if I wear a t-shit you can only see one of them on my forearm... I have a picture posted somewhere here...(SEPTEMBER 21ST) I'm not a walking poster or circus freak or anything... What ever, I give a flying fuck anyway... Have a great day all and see you on the darkside!!!

I WILL BE BACK!!!

I promise, I've been so fucking buzy and have so many things happening its insane!!! Good things too... I'm trying to leave the unmotivated items about this blog behind... I think I will just try to archive my archive and continue on this site... So many people read here.(it seems a lot of you want to remain anon.) I don't want to lose any of you! For the people who want to write me hate mail, send it to my hotmail box... Or stop fucking reading my blog!!! Sorry...

Anyway, ill try to have something fun posted here later this afternoon! Have a great say all...

TIME TO MOVE..

Due to a recent surge in hate mail comments I've had to turn on the comment moderation... Sorry, if you comment I will post it! I have not figured it out how to do all that but I will also be moving my blog address SOON... If anyone knows how to do that, let me know or else I will be stumbling around in the dark... I will post my e mail address here and please email me if you would like to continue reading! This is a complete fucking drag!! I feel that these postings will be used against me somehow and having seen and heard the effects of that I will not really enjoy those feelings...

ZACKTHEMACK69@HOTMAIL.COM

WORK TODAY...

I call in late... Thirty minutes after that I show up. Kenworth is down, air leak... Our new driver is toes up underneath with the right parts and the wrong know how... I fix it, he leaves and I radio our number one and two honchos that he is in route. Get coffee, go into office, turn on my computer. Radio lights up, more problems, goto jobsite and fix faulty wires in concrete pump. Save day twice already, its not even nine a.m. (I love these mornings...) like I said earlier, I'm still drunk from last night! Anyway...

Pick up borrowed backhoe from family friend. (he doesn't take care of his equipment very well at all! I've had to rig his shit before.) Spend the next two and half hours troubleshooting some wiring problems. FOUND IT! Patting myself on the back at this point. And that does not normally happen. Order parts and take lunch.

Return from lunch and pull up to work and meet up with number three at the bottom of the road. Borrowed backhoe has blown a hydraulic line and spewed its entire contents onto a quarter mile of highway. Oh and both the C.H.P. and the sheriff pulled over to offer help.

"Should we call the fire department to clean up this hazerdous spill?"

They noticed the twenty gallons of toxic crap polluting "their" highway. They split, it takes two trips to get the right tools and to remove replace the offending hose...

Now we are short about fifteen gallons of HYGAURD, that's john deer oil. (special, with detergents.) back to the yard to find out some one backed into something with a truck... Order parts for that. Jam to town for more hydraulic oil and to pick up parts from earlier... Phone calls, text messages and personal banking later, I leave town for the Sur. Pass two cops on the way home giving tickets and top off the tractor with oil so they can pick it up tomorrow morning.

Get back into the yard and the boys are standing around our other concrete pump, stareing with bewilderment. Tire is off and things looked fucked. More operators fixing shit...

"I think the wheel bearings are bad." says someone with greasy fingers.

"No, the axle must be loose." says another.

"The whole thing was shaking down the highway." was the last thing I heard.

It takes all of ten second for me to look down and see the tire that they removed to "find" the problem has a bulge in it as big as a grapefruit.. hmmm. Shaking? Funny noise? Trailer bouncing around.... nuff said. Problem handled. Used tire replacement and more parts ordered.

Check in and leave the yard... One more day down...

MY HEART WARMS....

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT!

Why is that? that I don't know... Is it that there is so much on my mind... Is it that the lovely lady I'm dating is blowing my mind? Making me feel incredible! Is it that her ex causes her so much trouble? Is it that the harder I work, the further I get behind? That when I got home tonight there had been a realtor here showing my house and the lights were left on and the heat was on?( I live in a solar powered house and have never turned on the propane heat until the other night and after I triple checked that I had turned it off... Oh and no one told me he was coming!! WTF?) is it that some one I don't like at all now knows where I live and has some sort of power over the fact that I live here? Only because he is friends with the rude realtor? Do I have nothing to write because at times I feel less of a man by not talking with my new loves ex man about his problems with me and the days that i hang with their bitchin kids? Or is it the fact that I can't do enough to help everyone I know to feel better, or to help them solve their problems? Or is it that so many fucking people in this town can suck my fucking ass!!!

Perhaps its because I'd rather not be here writing this, but some where else... Or is it because I spent last night drinking gin and tonics (doubles) all evening at a local haunt, visiting friends, poaching hot tubs, and don't really remember going to bed.

Waking up drunk, feeling comfortable in my own skin for once. Going to work and having everyone ask me why I'm in such a good mood? Or is it today's lunch that is keeping me from having anything worthy to post!?!?!? (okay, that one wont make any sense but I am not going to tell you anyways! Too bad.)

Ah.... That feels better! And BLIP. Now I'm back. What's my real deal tonight??? Frustration..

Anyway... My bad for venting, if you suffered through it, thanx for reading... If you blew by it, no worries... On to something fun!!!

It is going to be below freezing here tonight! I love it! Finally some weather! Bring on the rain, bring on the high altitude snow and give us something other than the heat to complain about! Bring on the short days and the long nights, the slippery roads and... Get the fucking tourists off my highway!!!! Twenty six minutes to town and not forty five minutes watching three r.v.s in a row play leap frog!! Winter!!! Snowboarding, snuggling, adult beverages. (hot ones, on camping trips with fingerless gloves!)Hhighway closures, fourwheeling on state park beaches, poaching more hot tubs and general debauchary!!! Bring it on...

Well, everyone in the hospitality industries here would like to kick my ass for saying such things.... For them it means, no tips... No money... No fun... Restaurants close here for the super dead months... Shut down, go home, find other work.... I feel for you...

I don't know why I'm so excited for winter... It means that when I work on equipment, it will be dripping with water and oil... I will be laying in mud when shit breaks down... Or worse... (imagine things like a farmers field, full of cow shit and old feed...) freezing my ass off under tractors bleeding hydraulic fluid that is below zero! Spending hours on end trying to stay warm! (maybe I should try to train someone to do my job?) yeah right....

Speaking of freezing parts... I need to start a fire... I'll be back...

Here is something new...

I'm tired, three and a half hours of sleep last night... What am I doing until the wee hours of the morning you ask? hah, I cant tell you... But it makes you wonder, I'm sure!

So I wont bore you with too many stories of thanksgiving, how much food we ate and how fat I felt afterwards, but I will tell you what happened!

After spending the morning sleeping in and hanging out, I decided I would put a CD player into "new reader's" subaru... That went great, sounds better, looks better and replaces that jankie tape deck she was so fond of... hah! Ate food at hair farmers house, took a nap in the middle of the raucous football game and then commenced the drinking! (well I had been drinking all afternoon, but this is where it gets heavy!)

Met up with "new reader" and went to ventana inn, sat and talked over incredibly stiff drinks that our great bartender Richard poured us... Got to laugh as we got caught smuggling her in and out of the mens room! Sat at the bar beside the fire.Yes, that was fun as well!

Then went over to nepenthe.. Our friend is managing there and hooked us up with some free beer and tasty red wine... We chatted with her family and mingled around for a while... It was hard to get drinks because the bartender there that evening happens to be one of my least favorite people on the planet. The kind of person you would like to crush his face with a bar stool and then piss on when he is unconsious and bloody.

I digress... So we went outside to smoke and got quite a few looks... We were laughing our asses off as one friend could not stop watching us! Almost tripped on his own jaw!

After leaving nepenthe we went to one of the places where my "date" works. To enjoy their company and for their incredible meal! Wow was that food ever good, (okay I said I wouldn't talk about food, but out of the three bites I managed to pack on top of my swollen belly, it was the bomb!) and had more and more free red wine! So good... The owners had a photographer there who was snapping hundreds of photos, for a book that they are putting out! I had to sign a waiver so they could use my photo, I had "someone" sign the parent consent portion for me just to fuck with them. I hope it doesn't get her in any trouble...

And then on to fernwood! Ah happy place of drinking and almost dancing... It was our intent to move around and dance some, but the band, well.... Sucked some major ass... Even when some drunk chic got out on the dance floor she soon stopped and looked cross eyed at the band... Some of our mutual friends were out and we had a great time... Somewhere in there I seem to remember hearing, "I cant see strait!!" and "if I close one eye it makes it a little better." hahaha...

Okay I fucking hate holidayz, I really do... Not bah hum bug style but I dunno, just another day for the rookie drinkers to be out on the highway killing innocent bystanders... Yeah, lets celebrate!

But I not only managed to have a fucking awesome day but I got to spend most of the evening with a person who was enjoying herself as much as me!! We were full of smiles all night, dropped jaws all around town, got plenty drunk and not to mention she looked incredible! It truly felt like a real holiday...

I hope all of you got some good times in! Or at least some good drinking in!!!

ive been so busy!

sorry readers, ive been busy like you couldnt imagine!!! i hate when other people write that so i dont know why im saying it to you all.. i do apologize... ill be back i a couple hours to post some things good... i mean it! ill be right back!!

HEY THERE!

Welcome to my lovely new reader! I hope you enjoy! Ill post something fun later...

I just went and saw Tenacious D last night.... What a funny ass show... With the two hours of sleep I'm running on from last night, added to this weeks sleep total of six hours it makes eight hours since saturday!! I'm running on high octane fumes at this point... I have a huge smile on my face, my cheeks hurt and in about fours I'm going to hit the wall running full speed. Hopefully it knocks me out for a good couple of hours...

I rolled into work late and walked into a 100 mile an hour shit storm, no time for lunch, no time for thinking, I've been to post ranch twice already for minor emergencies and while the higher ups here were loading a trailer we noticed a pin missing from the goose neck!!! Hello can you say massive highway carnage? If they would have pulled out with the sixty foot box trailer, with only one inch and a half pin holding it on(I don't even want to think of the damage.)

So much for a relaxing day at the office! How do I have time to waste on this here blog? The joys of almost high speed internet! I'm running five open windows and ordering parts... I'm on the phone with someone in Seattle...

"Where the hell are my parts?" I just said.

"You should have them." is Teds response (which means he is not sitting in front of a tracking number. Which also means he is either lieing or he knows that they fucked up and he is boxing them up now... If these parts show up tomorrow U.P.S. red, I'm going to get some free shit!!! I'll call him on it... Generally I ask for hats t-shirts and some sort of apology.)

anyway, got to go! Ill be back!!

AHHH.....

Okay, picture above has nothing to do with this post... I just liked it and am going to a party later, thought it was festive... Don't like it? Sorry... I do... That's just the kind of mood I'm in.

Anyway on with the post...

First beer of the day always tastes so good, makes me want to savor it! Yeah right, makes me want to pound it and have another... What a day already! If you count the day starting from midnight, whoa...

Going to a friends birthday party tonight! Tropical theme... The menu that her sister has been working on sounds so good! Makes me want to wait until dinner to eat... Well if I'm drinking now I wont be hungry until then anyways! I'm doing some laundry so I can have my favorite shirt ready, it a Cuban Mafia shirt. I got it as a gift for my birthday... Whatever... I'm stoked about sporting it... I've been working so fucking much lately I never get a chance to change into some decent clothes... Always stuck in my greasy work gear...

Here is something funny, I got out of work one day this week and before getting into my truck to go home I notice that I've smeared a huge amount of grime all over the back side of my shorts.(that's right I work in shorts, I pretty much wear them year round...) so I hop into my truck and pull them down to the floor so not to fuck up the custom seat covers... (oh and I roll commando, cause that's how my boys feel their best...) so I'm about half way home and the fucking C.H.P. has bixby bridge shut down for a film crew making a commercial, WTF? I'm the first person to pull up and I try to stay as far away from this cop as I can...

Nothing says creepy weirdo, like some dude driving around half naked with his shorts pulled down to the floor!!! (Hah!) He starts walking over to me to chat or shoot the shit or something... Tell me what the hell is happening on the bridge... I dunno.Like I haven't been subjected to twenty minute traffic stops cause some asshole company wants to film their "product" racing across our famous bridge before... Whatever, I'm praying this cop doesn't come over and peek into my truck... He would have to yank me out of there in a heartbeat on just morals alone... Not to mention what he would have found in the back of the truck that day!

Across my scanner I hear the cop at the other end of the bridge tell him its all clear to let cars through, and my soon to be peeping john radios back and waves me on... What the hell... That was close... Just goes to show that a normal situation becomes a real fucking hassle when you add cops! Minding my own business on my way home from work really could have turned out a lot different that day... I think I'll bring a fresh set of shorts to work from now on!

Enjoy your weekend all!

Oh, and thats not my dog in the lower picture either, something someone sent me for halloween! Thought it was appropriate for the post...

CONVERSATION AT WORK...

A funny conversation at work, boss #1 and I were doing paperwork in the front office and chief office manager was on the phone with a friend....

"Ha ha ha, she couldn't get it in?" Debbie says on the phone.

"Couldn't get it in to what?" I interupt Debbie.

"The puppy." she says to me without skipping a beat in her own conversation with friend.

Dave and I look at each other and smile...

"She couldn't get what into the puppy?" Dave asks trying not to burst.

"Ugh, she couldn't get it into the back... Wait what, no." Debbie looks at us with annoyance.

"What is she trying to stick into the back of the puppy?" I ask as we burst into laughter!

"The box" Debbie is getting it now and is laughing with us...

"So, she is trying to stick a box into the back of the puppy?!?!" Dave says as he nearly blows snot.

"No, she is trying to stick the puppy into her box." Debbie is now getting annoyed.

I fall on the floor and hit my head I'm laughing so hard now...

"So... She is trying to stick the back of the puppy into what? Her BOX?!?" I say getting back up off the floor, wiping tears from my eyes...

Debbie is trying to get off the phone at this point as our level of humor has reached about third grade level...

"Tell her she needs lube, puppy lube!" I manage to get out inbetween gasps for air.

"Lube up her puppy, she'll get it in there!" Dave chimes in as he leaves the office.. Its too much for him...

Holy shit, we were dieing, Debbie is a respectable lady who has a child and husband and would never get caught saying anything like "puppy lube". But throughout the entire day, all we had to say was "puppy lube" and we would start busting up... Whether one of us was on the phone or on a piece of equipment that's all it took...

Moral of the story... When you are having troubles shoving the back end of your puppy into your box, please use puppy lube... Save your self an embarrassing phone call to a friend.

What the hell is beta?

Can some one out here please tell me what the fuck is beta? Why do I want it? What will it do for me? What is it doing for you? Is it so I wont have to write in html anymore? Will I lose my lame page layout like others have said or does it really make things easier? Anyway, just thought I'd ask the general public... I'm not a real big fan of updating shit, but every time I log on now I have to fight my way through the blogger beta requests that they keep pounding at me... Any info would be great...

Oh and here is a picture of my buddies little girl from the other night... No he doesnt give her beer, I think she just likes to suck on the bottom of the ice cold glass... I know how she feels though!

(Blogger is letting me put pictures on today, so I thought I had better take advantage! Enjoy!)

WHAT TIME IS IT?

I'm a zombie... I function on two to three hours of sleep a night... I don't eat, I drink too much and smoke like a chimney fire... I work ten to twelve hours a day and then hang out with friends mostly. When I'm good and drunk I drive forty minutes home... I manage to get all my things done at work and my house is damn near spotless...

I will watch movies twice in a row because I will forget what happens by the time it is over... Then; in the course of a week ill watch it several more times...

What do I do with my other time? I don't know, I generally can't remember. On saturdayz I sleep in. Usually until late in the afternoon... Three sometimes four o'clock.. I wont even go out side... Then Sunday it starts all over... I feel guilty for not getting anything done on Saturday so I motivate and Sunday is spent getting ready for the week and finishing up the shit that should have been done months ago.

I make about fifty phone calls a day and at least as many text messages. I'm online for several hours and try to stop and see everyone I know is around before i go home...

Unfortunately I try to help everyone, I cant say no. There aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done... I know I say this all the time and that the answer is simple. (stop drinking!) But, um...Well... Fuck that!

But I still pursue every minute of my life like its my last.. And will probably die with a cheap fucking beer in my hand and a shit eating grin on my face.

Sometimes i think it would be nice to know what happened in between and to at least know what fucking time it is once in a while...

(Yeah lame post, makes no sense, but i dont care... its mine!)

LIFE SUCKS, DEAL WITH IT!

Here's a little note to my life...

Fffffffuuuuuuckkkkk yyyyooooooouuuuu...

Yeah that feels a little better... Looking forward to some serious drinking these next few weeks... My promise to not divulge others lives will leave you all with no idea what the fuck I'm talking about... Things are okay otherwise... There is one portion of my life that has changed for the better and one that has been changed for(well I don't know what the hell its changed for, but, I guess its changed for the last time...) anyway...

I used to be such a good drunk, now I kindof suck at it... I get tired and go to bed, instead of passing out. I drink a glass or six of water before I sleep instead of making a stiff gin and tonic for the bedside... I make sure the dog is fed and watered, where I used to just tell him, "deal with it." I used to have only the cheapest swill in plastic bottles and crappy warm beer... Nowadays my liquor cabinet looks more like a well stocked upscale bar with cold beer in the fridge.(I even have matching ice cold mugs in the freezer.)... I don't even like wine, but I have at least two cases of some premium reds, five different types of white, champagne and port as well... WTF?

I used to call in sick for days at a time and tell them I was basically too drunk to come in and wouldn't be any use to them anyway... Now I at least call, say ill be late or just go in and suffer... What happened.. And what happened to the drinking contests? Yes I would win everytime(mostly) and keep going after that... Now they never even come up!

I remember saying. " I wish I didn't have to sleep at night because it kills my buzz."

Or after waking up i say... " I just spent all that time getting fucked up! And I passed out?!?!? What a waste of money, now I have to do it all over again... "

I remember we went on a two day backpacking trip into the mountains.. I brought ecstasy and beer... No food, no tent, no extra clothes, nothing... Everyone was going on day hikes and taking photos while I was wandering around with my head in the clouds tripping my brains out, pounding beers all day and night... I think I had brought two thirty packs on that one...

Where did that guy go? Now, I'm someone different... And you know what? I like me better now... Things are different for a reason, I'm sure of it...

But to not go on a good bender every now and then? muwahahahahaha...(evil laugh)

im fucking sorry!

i am wicked pissed! im tired, im not even drunk or stoned... ive had a long ass day... ive let a lot go today... i wanted to post.. i even tried to leave a comment or twelve... i couldnt do it... im sad... ive been crying... my life is as it should be... in limbo, in question. i have too much to do and not enough fucking time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill be better soon... sorry...

Going to fire up the still this weekend!

Yep, just to prove that I'm a bit crazy, I do indeed bootleg alcohol... Yes it must conjure up all kinds of images and perverse thoughts, but its not really like that at all... I make pure (almost, its 98.6%) moonshine... I make it during the day so sometimes I call it sunshine, but whatever...

I have to work a lot this weekend so we will see how much I get done. Out of five gallons of sugar, water, and champagne yeast I procure approximately one gallon of pure alcohol, I mix that with good old fashioned creek water and get around two gallons of one hundred proof moonshine. I've had all kinds of descriptions of what it tastes like and smells like but, to me it is very sweet and gives you a nice tequila like buzz... I enjoy it! Anyway, wish me luck!

ALL RIGHT...

Well, I was at a friends blogspot a month or so ago... She was talking about this place 25peeps. I submitted and now I'm on it... So if you are here reading this, check it out an give me a click or twenty! There are some really interesting folks there and its a fun thing.. Okay, its late, I'm drunk, and a little stoned. What ever..blip...

Now I'm sitting here with some shit ass beer from Lost Coast Brewery, its not my normal swill... Found the keys to the rifle case I was complaining about last month and thought all this was pretty funny! Good night peeps and have a great weekend!!!

THIS IS LIFE.

Yeah everyday it happens, life. Nothing you can do about it. We get older, not necessarily any wiser, but we go through it and hopefully we learn from it. I reckon I should come clean a bit.. (I'm watchin sling blade, pologize bout the funny accent.)

I've been on my own since I was about thirteen or so.. Lived with my grandparents in Missouri for awhile and following that, off and on with my father on the east coast... See I was "a man" at twelve... Knew what I wanted and where I was going in life. What I didn't see was the bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts I frequented as a youth... blip. Anyway, I liked to learn life the hard way, best way to learn a lesson.

Came to California on the grey hound, turned sixteen on the bus. Been here ever since, except for a year or so I went to live in Canada. Worked for my uncles airline. He owns a float plane operation in Whistler, B.C. good times, but don't ever work for your family...

Since then; my mom committed suicide and I survived it, my grandfather died, my dog was killed, I've been addicted to drugs, fought alcoholism(survived that too!), moved from here to there, run from cops and a whole lot more id never care to share unless asked... There isn't anything I wont answer to.

I've also saved a woman's life,(met her years later, powerful person, full of vim and vigor) kept people out of trouble, adopted a new animal, volunteered in the community, been an active part in my cousins life and, well whatever... I'm not here to toot my own horn... Let others say something good about me. My anonymous readers!

Fuck, this is starting to sound like a bad country song... hahahahaha!! I fucking hate country music... Bluegrass, okay. Country? Um well no..

I've been in this town for almost nine years now (almost a local, I figure ten years makes it!) and things have gone well for me more or less... Don't like me? fuck you! Say it to my face... Yeah I didn't think so... Err... My bad... Tantrum... I digress.

Life is what it is... You take it and have some humility about it when its your turn to turn red... You give it what you can and have fun along the way... For me, its all about being me. Yeah its tough. I might come off as a jerk, but when you know me, you wouldn't be able to say that, not even close... An asshole maybe, but I do more for my friends then I would ever do for my self...

Today was just another day, wanted to let y'all know where I've been coming from...

FUNNY STORY!

So on my way home from post work-work, and I give one of my best buddies a buzz... He answers?!?! This never, ever, ever happens... Always the machine.. For months we will leave messages on each others machines... Anyway, we go through the normal routine of catching up and apologizing for missing birthdays and congradulating one another for our accomplishments... blah, blah... I found out he is at school working late...

While we are talking, he walks out back into an empty part of the school and into the rearmost parking lot... This is where he used to live last year. This is one of the smartest people I know... He attends a prestigious architecture school in so Cal. But he did indeed live in the parking lot behind school...

Quick history; I've known him for years, I met him through a mutual friend, he moved in the next day! He has lived as far east as Massachusetts and as far west as Bumfuck, Alaska... He has lived with me off and on for six or seven years... Now hes in grad school in L.A.

He lived in between two shipping containers last year to save money. Uder a blue tarp. He lingered here in Big Sur too long and moved back on the first day of class. Leaving him no time to shop around for a house... His truck was already set up from weeks of traveling back from Alaska, so he just kind of set up camp at school and never really left. He had a bar-b-q and a chest of drawers, cabinets, a rug, couch, etc. You get the idea... All the comforts of home...

He became quick friends with the security there and they "watched my stuff" when he was away or whatever... Here it starts to get better... He would have people over to his place and have parties and shit... He even had some rudimentary hot water and electricity there! After party-parties and even a few hook ups! Bonfires and school events!

Somewhere in those months he met his present girlfriend, a young lady from Colombia... Three times as smart as her parents, who are published architects and presently in the U.S. under asylum status. I digress. Well she didn't really want to stay at his bachelor pad much, so he relented After the year eneded and summer abroad, he got himself an apartment next to the beach.(which in four months he has not ever even been to!)

Alright here is something.. So during our conversation he walks back out to this old secret spot to get some privacy and for whatever perverted memories he was trying to revisit... Only to find out it is now a popular hang out! Ashtrays and litter, more chairs and some one else is now quasi crashing there... Of course they don't have it as nice as he did, but it had that used sort of feeling.

My buddy is totally a.d.d and h.a.d.d. with some good old fashioned gentlemen built right in. One of the most generous guys I know! But spent the better part of the year, living in a parking lot to save money, it just didn't make any sense to him to get a place... He spends between twelve and eighteen hours a day at school, seven days a week... It would take him forty minutes to an hour to get to a house that he could afford to stay. Add the gas and bills that come with renting a place and it just didn't add up!

I can understand it! fucking guy lived in the bush in Alaska for months at a time, imagine all the amenities that this parking lot had over that!

Whatever, we thought it was interesting that now his old place is a gathering spot for a lot of other folks at his school... What do you think?

HERE WE GO...

I've got two minutes before I fall asleep on the keyboard here... But I just have to say what a day! So warm, beyond the late summer norm! Amazing, and I worked late, in heavy protective clothing. I could have run into the surf with my dog and not even worried about the ocean temp, instead I was welding and didn't even notice the sunset... Boo hoo... Not even after a fourteen hour day.

Then I went up to a friends house, with a buddy and helped the ladies there clean their new house like you wouldn't believe! There were people painting, scrubbing, wire brushing, scraping, moving, hauling etc... Anyway I chose a room and got some followers and directed a full scale nukeing of the old dining room..

I need not tell you more! We drank everything that was left in the house, smoked too much hash, inhaled too much cleaner and cleaned the fuck out of that room! Cealing to floor cracks!

Left there and stopped on the highway while driving home to look at the view! Huge moon! gnarley wind, epic waves, (I don't surf, not even remotely) and watched time go by peacefully for half an hour... Or so. Said hello and good bye to a few friends.

what an awesome day.. I'm filthy and hope I don't fall asleep in the shower, night folks!

WOW IT WORKED!

Well here is the place I was talking about below... I'll repeat what I said in the lower posting... Fucking condors! And here is some irony... This place is accualy called "Wild Bird"! And has some interesting history, which I could dig up if anyone wants to know!

You'll like this one...

So I'm at work, ill give you all a quick work update. A call just came in from Scott.. He is working down the coast on a job with a view you wouldn't believe... (ill try for a picture later) problem is there are these fucking condors that roost there...

Last month they ate! Yes that's right, they ATE the leather and foam off one of our backhoes seats.(that's a tractor on wheels)! About six hundred dollars worth of damage... One day to replace all the parts and clean up all the shit they left and two hours of trucking the equipment to and from the job site... So it cost us close to nine hundred bucks! Not to mention the one day of work the backhoe loses and that the job also falls a day behind, more money down drain...

Well today Scott calls to report that they have eaten all the rubber windshield lining off all the windows in our excavator! WTF? Also they ripped off the wipers and tore the mirror off; to eat the rubber from that as well... Broke a hole in the plastic cover on the roof window and shit all over the cab! Sweet...

Now I wont bore you with the list of things I will have to do to fix all these problems by the time it rains and a breakdown of the costs involved... But try about a thousand dollars in parts, labor and lost revenue from the machine being down...

Save the condors my ass... Yeah save them from me!

Are we allowed to shoot them? No, I would go to jail... Will they come and relocate them? No, they are just wild animals... arrrggh... There needs to be a better solution then this... We are not the only victims of these stupid vultures...

Private citizens have no recourse. They are even changing the laws for hunters, so that they are no longer are allowed to use a certain type of ammunition, it might make the birds sick or die if they were to ingest some of the lead... I don't really care about hunters and bullets, but if there is to be change there should be something in it for the landowner to regain some of the costs...

Anyway... Lame post, I'm ranting, but now I have to bring some soap and a brush to clean bird shit, the size of flat footballs, out of the cab of this piece of equipment...

I love birds....

WHOA.

Looks like the whole bottle of NyQuil cold and cough medicine I drank yesterday and the several beers I had on the way home, put me into a bit of a mood last night... Sorry, I'm feeling sick... Head is packed all day until I lay down of course... Then it runs freely! Sweet! Anyway, I'll post something fun later... Have a great day!

Here is something!

I find it hard to believe that there are moments in life where we don't all just get knocked back into our seats and say WTF!

Are there not moments in a book that make you put it down? Not because you refuse to read it any more but you simply cant? Your eyes fill and you fucking cant breath? Not crying, but almost? A movie does it? A place in time? Some one says something that unexpectantly hits you from the back? Never feel that way? No? You are so lucky....

I wish I was you...

I read something in the paper today, then I saw something on TV, then I was told something private from a friend and then... I listened to N.P.R. on the way home.... That was as far as I got... I pulled into Palo Colorado and parked.. I got out of my truck, and let it out!!! I screamed and let loose a demon from the deep!

Yeah you are imagining it now... Some dude standing on the side of the road, next to his truck throwing a tantrum...

I assure you this was not the situation...

I got back into my truck, wiped off my face, reached back and petted my dog and calmly drove up here... Unloaded the dish washer, threw a load into the washer and cracked a beer.

Is there ever a day where you hear too much? See too much? Read too much? And finally don't have anything else to say?!?!?

Good I'm not crazy...

A LITTLE TOO HIGH...

Sorry. I really wanted to finish the previous post I started, I left work, borrowed a movie from a friend and drove home... Fade to black...

New scene, something has changed. Our writer sits hunched over his keyboard, furiously typing away... What's he writing, you can't see, but you feel it might be important.. He's intense about what he's doing...

A strange noise behind him... Our author doesn't hear it over the pounding of his keys... In the shadows, something moves, a glint of light beams back out from the darkness... Another noise, a slow and grumbling sound, then the rattle of a chain... Slowly moving out of the darkness its...its...

Beau!!! My dog, he is hungry! His tummy is growling and I forgot to feed him when I got home! His purple chain collar is almost falling off and he is wagging his tail cause he knows I just figured it out! hahahaha...

Sorry, I've been partying by my self, lame I know. Its Friday I'm at my house in the middle of no where and I'm cracking my self up!

At the office...

Yes I know I've been leaving some lame posts... It happens, I was going to write about all the accidents that happened in the valley on Tuesday night but, I wont. I was also going to write about the fatality on Wednesday of one of our neighbors but, I wont do that either... I need to focus on something good and fun..

The weekend is coming! Hurray... Two daze of dirt biking in the mountains! Awesome food and sleeping in a tent in the rain... Muddy dogs and drunken fights! Sweet! It wouldn't be a south coast party unless we had all of the above!

Why does this sound like fun you ask? Getting dirty, being wet, possible broken bones? Well, sitting at home in the rain watching movies isn't going to do it for me... Moping around the house? Poor me? Hell no! Bring on the chaos, bring on the bar-b-q! hahahahaha! Can you tell I'm getting excited?

Got the mini bike fixed up and get to use my new to me Helmut! And my dog gets free roaming for about forty hours... Where we are going; they don't care about loose dogs, the ranch dogs are bolder then my pit mix and they all pretty much get along! He loves it! Little dirty kids running around and scraps of dirt ridden meat to woof down out of their grubby little hands. There is a pond for him to swim in and people who love him there, so I could say I'm excited for him as well..

Shit, one of my guys needs a hand right now so got to go...

To be continued...

I dont always get a chance for a positive post.

COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE...

Its raining, I'm tired and I'm grouchy... I roll up to work five minutes after the hour and everybody is out front doing a mandatory safety meeting.. Not one of those meetings, but one where we sit around listen to Wendy talk about hard hats or some shit and then sign a sheet saying we were there and we feel safer... I swear the work clock is fast, because they were winding up when I rolled in... Normally if I show up at that time its no big deal.. But when its safety meeting day and I'm late I look like an asshole...

Could these guys have broken more shit yesterday? I took one day off. The new auger is leaking fluid, its got less than twenty fucking hours on it.. The kenworth dump truck mysteriously has a bent panel and a broken box release arm! The Ford f-250 I fixed on Tuesday now has a new and different problem! The phase inverter in the shop is smoking? What the fuck, how do you screw that up! On or off... Don't mess with it!

"Someone" ripped the emergency brake handle off the 310c (its a back hoe)... What? How do you do that? Are you Hulk fucking Hogan? Are you at a wrestling match and need something to club someone with? No? So don't rip shit off the floor boards, okay!

The heater control knob I just replaced in the IH dump is broken again?!?! Of course no one knows how that happened... Your not in trouble asshole, this isn't Jr. High school, it would simply help me out if you would fess up and tell me how it happened so I can glean some information from you. If I know how it happened I can fix it better!!!

The ford f-350 you have been driving to the job site for weeks now, suddenly has no brakes? Huh, well after I looked at it and saw that not only did you wear through the brake pads but the whole backing plate as well!!!! I could have replaced the brake pads when they started squealing, thirty dollars. But now I have to rebuild the calipers and replace the rotors, which means ill be replacing bearings, races, and oil seals too!!! You are a smelly but plug! Now try four hundred dollars, and you don't get your premium ride to the job site for the rest of the week because it will be sitting on jackstands till next Friday afternoon!

More you ask? Yes! Somehow the keys got locked in your service vehicle... You didn't do it. You didn't try to get a coat hanger and unlock it either, nobody did... Well how the fuck did the paint get scratched off the door and cab of the truck, how did the rubber gasket that keeps rain out of the truck get torn to shit? Guess what? Enjoy your wet seat for the rest of the week until I can get a new installed...

Ill stop there, sorry readers, I'm foaming at the mouth here and needed a break from all the ignorance that's employed here... I swear some of our guys get more and more stupid everyday... And I notice that their personal rides are washed everyday, parked where no one might back into them and are meticulously maintained... Could they do that to a company truck? hah!

Ill come back later and post something positive and nice... Something you might enjoy reading!

The day after..

After having my morning beer to help with the hangover I have, (fairly small just a slight head ache and tummy rumble) I've been drinking soda... Not so good, I finished the third one and am heading downstairs to get another.. Been eating like crap all day as well. Ate an entire package of venison jerky, a can of tuna fish and smoked about a pack of Marlboro lights... Why, I dunno..

Last night was fun, usual Halloween... pre party at D's, filled with people drinking and smoking, finding the right face paint color, etc, etc... It was a good time... Some funny shit though... Some one lost a diamond ring that was her grandmothers, (sorry Heather but why would you wear that to Halloween?). Bits of girl drama, dudes puffing up in front of other dudes they didn't know... Lame...

We left and all went over to Chi's house where he has a good size pre party going... He had one last year that was much smaller. So I pulled him aside and said:

"Dude, congrats on wicked party!"
"Yeah man, thanx a lot. This is lots of fun." he replied
"You know next years will be huge! With this many people here this year, you know whats going to happen!" I told him
"Oh..." He pondered, then said "Shit, I'll have to cancel it next year and start back over"

He got my point... Although this years went over great and every one knew each other and nothing happened, next years would attract some undesirables who heard how good it was and might bring on an unwelcomed environment...

Yeah I'm a downer... But I've been there! I've had huge parties, with d.j.s and fire dancers and copious amounts of free drugs and alcohol... Hundreds of people! There has also been peoples cars stolen and vandalized, lots of theft and plenty of shit broken... There was a girl who said she was raped at one,( she later admitted that she was cheating on her boyfriend and got caught, so she tried to hide it.) almost lost my housing on that one...

People getting really sick and lots of drunken sex...Imagine the horror...hahaha!

There is a certain amount of acceptable loss and damage; but for chi, who lives in a studio off his grandmother house; any damage or loss is out of the question... Any way I digress.

The party at Nepenthe was good, great to see normally reserved folks let their hair down and take off most of their clothes, save for a thong and some fairy wings... Had a few drinks, the rest of the beer I snuck in and finished the flask of Yeager I brought, did some shots, smoked some a couple of dubies, you get the idea! Afterwards I got hit with some major drama that I didn't see coming at all and ended driving home... No afterparty, no hardcore drugs and didn't go to work today either...

I don't care about the after party shit, the people I talked to today didn't get home until seven this morning. And sound like death... So feeling a few aches seems to be a good thing... Well I'm going to make a pizza and watch a movie, good day to you all and wish me luck on the drama and hope it works out for me...