weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck yeah! i cant wait! i get to sleep in! scratch my sack...(eeewww...) just joking sort of. and not have to put on the filthiest clothes known to man. i try to have at least three "out fits" to wear to work a week, but i tell you what, i work in shorts, i wear a t-shirt and a sweatshirt and they get gnarly! grease i can deal with, as with most grimes and dirts, but gear oil or any 80/90 weight makes me gag. it smells like cancer to me. not just nauseating but whole body experience feeling. its something you smell and you feel it killing you. its not as bad as say M.E.K. or toluene. but like i said, if cancer had a smell that would be it! and i have three days of not having to get anywhere near that kind of dirt! just good clean earthy dirt.

going to drink like a million beers in the sun with my lady this weekend and do some serious gardening. make some other shit happen up there and perhaps see a few friends, if not no worries! i don't think we have the girls tonight so i can walk around the house naked and we can have sex in any room we want! woo hoo!

sorry, I'm sure you all don't really want to hear about all of that, it just kind of came out.

I've been in kind of a funky mood lately, with small bouts of melancholy. tired. and not been able to blow by it. today i feel better. yesterday, special cheese really noticed and asked a couple of times "if i was okay"

started a new project and worked on it until way after dusk. (resurrecting my wood shed, actually combining two sheds to make one waterproof storage area.)and came back into the house in a much better mood. i don't know what it was but i was slumped and i broke free.

i haven't had those types of feelings since way back when. and am quite happy to leave them all back there.

so have a good , drunken, stoned, partied out weekend all of you. remember all the men and women who lost their lives fighting for what they were told to do. remember all those who came back, fucked up, disfigured and mentally blown out. remember its not a weekend to celebrate, its a weekend to enjoy our freedoms and to give thanks to those who do what they are told with out question in the name of American democracy.

i send my angels to those who have people in wars and to those who are dying as i write this......

(P.S. it's been two years since you left, not a day goes by where i dont look at your picture, think how you have helped me or mention your name at work. i sit at your old desk, i use your computer and i wear a shirt with your name on it. i miss you and know that you are one of these angels looking out for us... thank you helmuth, now i'll get back to work!)