Tuesday, September 30, 2008


sorry on the no posty or commentsie backsies... alas im not burying any bodies... everyone knows you dont bury bodies, duh, you burn them in shallow pits, then leave them open so the animals can dismember them and spread their parts all over the countryside... right csi?

but i am so very very very busy as of late... tis the season for me to be working extra hours...feels like i have pounds of extra work to be dealing with... so heavy shouldered and lack of sleep i will be for the next week/weeks. this is the way it is and it will be this way until i am done...

on another note...

im working on a favorites list... not my favorite posts, but my favorites of you.... this is now the time for bribing, and begging, pleading, offers of sexual favors, cash payments and the like... so feel free to fill my inbox what have you and see who makes the cut, you might be surprised, it could be you.... the winner not only gets bragging rights but......

you will get nothing and like it!

Monday, September 29, 2008

on with the show....

if he wasn't caught red handed, then what would you call it?

its Monday morning and welcome back everyone... as usual things here are really busy. I'm trying to take off work a little early today so there will not be much posting... i know you all are weeping and wondering why... but this is the life of the voices...

we spent the entire weekend working on the property... we dug six foot deep hole twelve feet wide by eight feet long. it took three shifts of three of us three days to complete.... fuck me, don't want to be doing that again. the hole is in preparation for all the people who will piss me off this winter... the last hole i dug around this time last year is full and starting to stink. so i filled it in with concrete, heh heh...

so please be patient and i will get back to everyone soon!!!

Friday, September 26, 2008

we pause for test of the emergency broadcasting system

i figure if i post pictures of naked women y'all might fucking pay attention..

yes we pause from the normally informative discussion based reality here for a quick blog pimping. i know this person personally and she is every bit legit and money as she says she is. not only would she fit in gloriously with the bitches over at mjs on Fridays, but is wordy enough to know what Knudsen is yammering on about half the time... we do have some naked pictures of her we could sell to the highest bidder, although i think she has a photo of herself in a bikini.
so take a fucking moment out of yer busy fucking day of scratching yer parts at work and check her out. she has just completed the 100 facts of herself and needs to be voted in over at the nation HQ...

i believe I've pimped her before, but its time now for her to come out of the frozen wastelands of Washington and into the warms hands of the voices readers once again...

and for those of you who have not yet familiarized your self with my 101 Zack Facks they can be discovered here....

fucking wackos

i generally point fingers and yell at people who i think are fucking wackos and extremists... and i just cant hold back with this particular group.
although i am not afraid they will show up at my door step telling me I'm mistreating my fucking chickens, that i should be letting them run free through out the country side and to not collect their eggs and eating them because its animal abortion or some shit... i am afraid that these people are out there making babies and teaching in schools and getting other people to join their cult... I'm afraid of the fact that they get mainstream television ads and their budgets are big enough to sit down with the CEOS of large legitimate companies and tell them they are doing animals wrong...
there is a place for folks like this and there are times when these tactics are necessary and useful but, what the fuck are these people smoking? check out this link and tell me that they are a sane group of human beings...
making ice cream out of humans breast milk, did y'all really sit down and think this one through?!?! did ya? how many millions of gallons of milk do you think these people use in a year.
will the people of PETA volunteer to get them selves hooked up to breast pumps and give their life giving milk to the ice cream producers of America...
they might get taken a little bit more seriously if they were so off their fucking nuts...
sure, get the word out that you don't like wearing fur, put your stereotypically hot models on campaigns naked, pass out leaflets in the snow in your birthday suits... whatever... most folks can understand that... but when you propose that ice cream should be made from human breast milk....

it makes you sound like a bunch of fucking nut cases...

*walks off in complete disgust*

Thursday, September 25, 2008


so..... last week i find out that bollix and his crew are builders... i had asked him to stop on by and build me some shelves. simple enough eh? one would think... i had asked that they reflect me as a person as my house and shop display something about the person who resides in side.

we talked about how i would like it to look and what i expect to do with the shelves... i then offered the boys some beer and girlie mags to peruse during their lunch break and i left for work...

i guess i offered them the wrong beer or his crew doesn't approve of porn, cause when i returned from work that day i found my house looking like this, a bunch of my neighbors hanging around and a note that read...

"Mr. voices, you wanted us to do something to your house that reflected you and how others might perceive you. here you go asshole, now you have plenty of space to put your shit..."

one of those days.....

if i had only one request of people at my work today is that they slow the fuck down, pay attention to what they are driving, working on, operating and STOP BREAKING SHIT!!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

sorry if i couldnt squeeze yer names in somewhere... i'll try to amend it later!!

i woke up Saturday morning and what did i see?!?! some ugly mother fucker looking back at me..."

it was bollix!!!

...."he said to me, Hey you, you big tall cunt!" I said to him, " Are you'se talking to me, little runt?"

then random walked in...

...and said, "Hey Mother Fucker, I'm one too! Would you like to go to the zoo? Let's go jam with the monkeys and throw some poo!"

all of a sudden hunter was there wearing nothing but a leather mask...

with morning breath and his face in a snear he leans in close to whisper in my ear" HEy liitle buddy last night you were all class, but now get ready 'cause I get to fuck you in the ass.

So put your face in the your pillow and get up on your knees cause if this is your first time it's going to be a tight squeeze.

So I lubed up the torque wrench real good.

But it was the cheap kind from Sears.

(a wrench set from mj for my birthday)

"The cheap ones from Sears tend to rust real bad" (there was a voice in my head, the voice of queen goob) so I hiked it to the shed to borrow from dad.

When I opened up the toolbox what did my wondering eyes see? Handcuffs and whips looking back at me!

and suz standing there in a pink trench coat and whip screaming...

I'm still fixed on Hunter. Jeasus Christ, I had no idea. And to think, I call him "friend." "Hunter, don't come near me! No seriously, don't come near me!!!" Don't make me call 911.

hunter steps out from behind the tool box wearing a leather mask and says...

Suzanne! I was only following directions. HE said to be as disgusting and crass as can be!!!

he drops to his knees and begins begging her please... she replies...

The past few months have been stressful, so this is easy. "Get the fuck away from me."

and locks hunter back in the tool box...

And then I woke up.

What I saw was the stuff of nightmare so exponentially worse, it almost defies description.

there was now another voice, it was the voice of leah, in a new england accent....

The voice in your ear was in fact no dream, and it's there again, this time for real, growling at you and with each growl a gusty breath of decay, intoning in hideous cadence: "Zack, it may be Saturday but you work on Saturdays now and everyone else has been fired, so you must march yourself to your job and do all the repairs and the paperwork, back-ordered and pending, all by yourself in handcuffs while I keep an eye on you with this whip; I'll let you free for five minutes at noon so that you can eat your sandwich and drink your Red Bull."

i look back into the shop and its no longer suz standing there but cecile in leather chaps and bra holding a whip!

A misty haze fell all around, I stumbled from the shed and fell on the ground. My head was a spinning, the air grew stale. I hollered, "Could someone please fetch me an ale." "An ale gosh dern it, any kind will do. No don't bring just one and bring more than two."

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

help write inner voices next post!!!

since I'm real fucking busy this week and cant even get around to do a proper post, I'm gonna leave it up to you guys to help me out... I'm going to start a story about my weekend with two sentences and let each and every one of you(my favorite people in the world) add two sentences two the story in my comment box. after everyone has had a chance to add their two cents/ sentences I'll re-write the post up here for the following day... so please help an aging man continue his somewhat daily posting wouldjah! thanks...

here goes....

" i woke up Saturday morning and what did i see?!?! some ugly mother fucker looking back at me...:"

nows the time to show us all how witty, charming, disgusting, crass, etc... you can be!

time is running out!

so since i took yesterday off, some people had to do my job. heh heh.. and the big boss spent his entire afternoon trying to diagnose why the loader wouldn't start... he got so frustrated with it, after ordering a thousand dollars worth of parts and leaving early, he called in sick today.

"the stress of yesterday has made me sick." he said.

yeah, fuck you in the ass with my torque wrench... too much stress from one afternoons worth of my work... pussy.

we got two of our trucks back Monday morning that i had sent out to have fixed due to the fact that these ass monkeys break shit faster than i can fix it. one truck came out to over nineteen hundred dollars of work. someone said "my that's an awful lot of money..." i cut them short and reminded them about "how i don't cost this company money.... i save it."

anyways, i haven't had any time to reply to all my comments and welcome the new readers! i will get there i promise! perhaps later today, but I'm out in the yard fixing the tractor they broke last week!

Monday, September 22, 2008

taking the day off

yeah, after spending yestarday drinking beer and tequilla i went to bed sleepy and drunk. at some point in the evening i got out of bed and poured my self a glass of milk, then went back to bed... WTF? nothing makes a person feel more shitty than, adding milk to the belly thats full of tequilla and cheap beer... so not only do i have my usual monday headache and hang over, i also have the overwhelming desire to never drink milk again...

thats all folks...

will resume normal fucking off at work/posting tomorrow....

Friday, September 19, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008


beau in brown and charlie in white

my dog is supposed to be one of those mean attack dogs... is he? no... can he be? yes... does he protect the house and children at all costs to self and life? yes... does he look mean when he is running towards you? yes... can he jump high enough to rip out your throat in one bite? yes... does he constantly fuck himself up doing the most retarded shit? yes!!!
remember about nine months ago?
yeah well hes done it again. cept this time much worse. he hasn't lost a lot of blood but has puncture wounds and lacerations over half his body... the vet said it looks like he may have mixed it up with a mountain lion, but the strait and deep nature of the cuts puzzles him and me... he has a three inch flap of skin cut in a triangle on his knee/leg that looks more like a tear than anything else... so i thought he may have been chasing/running away from something and got himself hung up on some building debris or under a barn or fuck i dunno. last night was like super sleuth at our house...

"did someone break in? is anything missing?"
"are the chickens okay?"
"did we call all the neighbors?"
"is there more blood outside?"
"when did you notice it?"
"are these your tire tracks in the dirt here?"
"where are your guns? oh they are here good!"
"what do you want to do?"
"do you think i can sew it myself?"
"wheres the fucking duct tape?"
"what the hell did you do to yourself dog?!?!"
"how much do you think this will cost this time?"

so this morning i drove him to the vet where they love to see me (as my credit card is now on file) and the will be putting him under for his latest round of surgeries... inside stitches to fix the wound on his back where you can see down to the bone and outside stitches for all the other fucking cuts on him... grrr... damn dog. he should be eating tigers and bears and shit and instead he is out tripping over his own feet and impaling himself on branches and falling off rocks... but he is my dog and if what they say is true about him taking on my mannerisms I'll be getting some stitches soon enough.... anybody wanna bet on it?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008



its only just past twelve noon and I've put over two hundred miles on my truck chasing parts this morning. dropping parts off and getting custom built hoses for a welder who doesn't appreciate the work i do... fuck him right? anyway, I've got another helper today and need to keep him busy now that I'm back. lucky me right?

we failed an OSHA inspection and everyone was looking at me...

"when did they come? how did we fail???" i said
"they failed us cause all the oil spilled around here." boss man said.
"that's my fault how?"
"well you are the mechanic..."
"what, you don't know how to clean up your own oily messes?!"
"its YOUR job!"
"did i know the inspector was coming?"
"no, you didn't. that's my fault."
"did we fail last year? or any other year in the last eleven?"
"no, you haven't. you have always cleaned up the yard and had everything in order... look, i see where you are going with th---"
"was i even at work that day?"
"no, but lisTEN TO M---"
"so, i wasn't here.... didn't know he was coming... YOU didn't clean up the yard and WE failed... again, its my fault how?!?! don't push your mistake on me okay."

people cringed and snuck out in all directions..

i meander back out into the yard to have a cigarette. that argument went better than casual sex after a night of drinking in Vegas...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

its been going non stop!!!

i show up to work after a three day weekend and I'm told I've been spending too much time in the office and not enough time out in the yard working on equipment. (whats new eh?) so they decided to get me an office assistant, so i wouldn't have to be sitting at my desk for half the day... after meeting my new assistant and finding out what her qualifications and skills were, i never made it back out into the yard to get any work done at all... much to my dismay when i came into work this morning they had fired her... it seems I'm not to be catching any breaks this week!!!

this weekend was great, and couldn't possibly write it all down here... but i can do a list!

-had many, many, many drinks out and about on my birthday day.
-a ranger friend suggested to a new ranger that there was no need to pull me over for my head light being out that night... nice!
-ate oysters and scallops, paid next to nothing for a wicked meal and beers.
-spent over five hundred bucks on BBQ and sushi supplies. (this is how we do it!)
-cleaned house before and after party's.
-made copious amounts of BBQ and sushi.
-the cakes were some of the best cheese cake I've had in a while(thanks farmer g-friend and cheese!!!)
-people spent the night instead of driving. sweet action there!
-gardened and hiked.
-watched three shitty movies and one really funny one.
-got to see a lot of people i haven't seen in a while
-great gifts! i got four pairs of panties for cheese!!! heh heh..
-had an old woman offer me a blow job if i fix her mobile home... declined. i said i only fix mobile homes for ass sex. she declined. (we both knew we were joking)
-drank myself sober on Sunday.
-back to work and here i am!!

so folks thanks again for the rocking blog party's and comments over the weekend and hope to get enough time today to get to return comments and swing by yer blogs!!!

*pissed that he has no office assistant anymore*

Monday, September 15, 2008

my weekend

this is about the how my weekend went....

the sleep over, the copious amount of drinking, sex, scandals, the pool, oh god.............

(you all wish it was your birthday party now, don't you)

*will be back later, has three days of shit piled up on his desk and out in the yard*

Thursday, September 11, 2008


was practicing my ninja moves at lunch...

after a long grueling day....(WE HAD A GUY LOADING GRAVEL WITH A LOADER AT IDLE INSTEAD OF HIGH REVS AND HE BLEW THE PUMP.) i managed to squeeze four days of work into one day... im off to the bar... i will pretend to be able to check back later, but i do believe when i get home i will hopefully be on top/bottom of my girlfriend... (if she will have me) so i bid you all goodnight this early afternoon... you have made a normaly painful day for me into something great and oddly quite special! thank you all so much and see you this weekend eh?

the days of our lives

thank you all for the many birthday wishes already bestowed upon me!!! and in advance for any one else who stops by... today I'm cramming three days of work into one morning and afternoon. I've got myself a helper and have to leave the office so please leave lots of profound profanity here while I'm gone...
anyways, just thought id let you all know i wouldn't be the person i am today without all the molestatio--- err love i received from my babysitters in the past. thanks dad for the cool babysitters and tutors in my youth... so i leave to your own devices for now and will be back for my punishmen---errr spankings later!!!

....oh and please do take a moment of silence today for all the good and innocent folks lost on this day several years ago... its very important to me. and express some anger at someone you believe might be a terrorist... yeah, id like that too....

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


just reading a bit of the news today and found this amazing article.

now, a question... and maybe I'm no super fucking scientist here, but if they have built a machine that recreates the "big bang" that started our existence all those many billions of years ago, do you think it smart to turn the fucking thing on?!?! uhhhh.... maybe we don't want to make another one... a "big bang" i mean. it took billions of years to make me happen and I'm not sure that they should be starting the process all over again... its a long time to wait to enjoy the things i like doing once more.

so you uber minding bending people, i think there might be some other more important things to be researching than particle acceleration... like uh, well, HOW ABOUT CURING SOME FUCKING KANCER!!!!!!

edit:some of the blogs ive had linked here just hit the chopping block. i don't know how, but it might have had something to do with the black hole they have created in europa. and now ive noticed some new ones posted here as well... some sort of time warp shit. so be careful all, you could be next. i might chain myself to some young gal if i were you. ... you know, in case you get sucked into eternity, you might want some one to spend the rest of yer days with!!!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Monday, September 08, 2008


if one was to just peruse the photos i post here one might think i have some sort of bathroom fetish... perhaps i do, i dunno... its not like I'm getting all hot and bothered when i search out into the darkness of the web looking for these photos... they just appear and i post them. perhaps its subliminal and i think all my postings are shit and need to be flushed. i remember when i found this pic there was a cool story attached to it and fuck if i can be bothered to find it... it was a good one though...

anybody have a story behind this photo they want to share? or make up?

i was stymied by a ten year olds go-cart on Friday and have to finish fixing it today and deliver it fixed by this afternoon. by the time they finish paying me to upgrade the damn chain, they could have bought the kid a fucking motorcycle... gah... I'll try to get back here later this afternoon to see whats happening! also glad some of you decided to check out walkers threesome of posts...

ummm... what else? this weekend was great. watched a killer sunset with cheese. had some folks up for some meat. (both buddies girlfriends are vegetarian and don't get much at home) so we bbq'd up about six pounds of the stuff... got invited to a pool party and spent the night after cheese and r-town found the jeager and vodka bottle bottoms. for some reason she also thought it was a good idea to....


the inter-axle on the kw1 has just shattered on the highway and sent forty pound chunks of steel into the highway..

"yeah hi, this is Jenna at fernwood, i think we have some of your truck parts here in our parking lot" 1st phone call.

"i was just following your truck down the highway in the big sur and noticed a lot of parts falling out from the bottom of it..." 2nd phone call.

"i need Zack at the bottom of the yard RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" 3rd phone call.

yep, the inter-axle is toast and and took me an hour to remove the bits that were left so that we could lock the remaining axle and limp it back to the yard.... fuck... in an instant, my weeks schedule is now pushed back up to three days... grrrr....

Friday, September 05, 2008


yeah folks its that time of the month again... its time for blog pimping. its funny i never seem to ask permission to do so, but i guess that's not how i roll. anyway... since today is the fourth day in a row where my job is actual requiring me to work I'll have to direct you all to some one elses blog for the day. several months ago i was perusing Suzanne's comments and there was this dude, walker, commenting. he didn't seem like suz's normal reader, so i blew on over to walkers blog and spent the next several weeks lurking around. suz picked up on the fact that his blog might be something i would enjoy and prodded me to go and check him out (thanks suz, i had already been there but your insistence of me liking his writing was the determining factor of my de-lurking!!)... i did enjoy and have been since... anywayz...

recently walker has had a multi part series of a week in his life. you all could just run the fuck over there and read his last entry but that would ruin it for you.

so start at

Witchy Weekend ©

and then read up. i command it! don't ruin it for yourselves.... (for some reason i cant click on just that post so you will have to find it on yer ownsies...)

some folks may not like his writing, if so too bad i think there is a doctor Seuss book laying around here some where... or try randoms book suggestions for the week. anyway, just doing my good deed of the week and sending some readers on over to walkers...

yo man i hope yer down with more readers....

oh, yeah... hes fucking canadian so you know he kicks ass! and come on back and lemme know what yall think...


Thursday, September 04, 2008

well well, what was i doing last night?!?!

looks like i was blogging before bed last night... anyway...

today I'm off to town again for more useless repair shit. wish i had my act together a little more this week as I'm trying to pour on the juice at work. now that the fucking crane is finished and out of my way I'm trying to crank out all the other jobs that fell by the way side. they are a bit happier around here with me at the moment and cutting me some slack but still riding my ass (if both are possible to do at the same time).
stoked that last weekend was a three day weekend because this week is just flying by! and I'm taking next Friday off as well as next Thursday is my birthday. yeah bitches I'll be the ripe old age of thirty three!! beat that with a stick wouldja!
i did treat myself to a birthday gift this year. i bought all the home loading crap i will need to make cartridges for the new gun. I'm hoping the book will have mixes to push the bullet right around that subsonic range. just before it disintegrates out of the barrel... vapor trails baby, yeah.
this post is full of just crap today. it seems that's been the problem all week. glad some of you have stuck around and at least poked some fun at me about it.
haven't had any time to read the news lately(one of my favorite pastimes) have i been missing out on anything?!?

Wednesday, September 03, 2008



sorry kids here at the voices, its been a long day and in a small town that long day is made infinitly longer by the shortcomings of passionate people with good intentions turned bad...

week of actual work...

busy... you will have to entertain yourselves with some potty humor please...

oh and the back of my head can be seen in the first gallery of this dudes pics from the fire here in the sur. i believe this was like the second day or third... hint im wearing all white!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008


did a lot of house work this weekend... yeah y'all are fucking impressed with that bit of profundity aren't you?!?!? thats the quality entertainment and intelligence level you have grown to love/hate when you come round here now isn't it... what am i talking about? moving on then...

i made the office coffee this morning not really knowing what the hell i was doing (i put in six scoops of grounds) and everyone here is bouncing off the walls. and using the bathroom like it has a revolving door... more excellent banter... something else perhaps?

im going to Salinas today to look at radios for our new trucks...

this post is starting to suck to I'll try again later... perhaps when the three cups of triple strength brew wears off...

*bounds off like tiger on his tail in search of pooh*

(leaves self wide open for jokes and ridicule with last thought there didn't i?)

Monday, September 01, 2008


what a fabtastic weekend!!! ya'll wish you were me... i have the amazing dial up so i'll list em out in some highlights!!!
had some afterwork beers with a buddy and watched him drink faster than me... he is pushing seventy.
had a great morning in the garden with cheese... later a buddy stopped by. (we dont get people stopping by.. ever really...)
later on the same day another buddy and his girlfriend popped in for snacks and beer.
even later that satuday afternoon more people stopped by with guns and clay pidgeons and shells...
spent several hours shooting skeet and drinking someone elses beer... (also never happens, welll... I generally bring my own)
showed buddy and his girlfriend how to shoot and both were quite succesful!
cheese even shot the twelve gauge and was hitting clay birdies!!! go cheese!!!
built a cool antiquated looking fence in our upper garen area to keep the dogs from running through our graywater system...
kudos to cheese for motovating me into some cool projects round the property.
cheeses brother showed up and we all made some bbq sausage and got wonderfully drunk.
talked politics and economy... we never get to do that.
spent the sunday moring wallowing in my own filth and then went to town to the gun range with a friend to shoot the big boy!!
at fifty yards it was off to the left just over an inch. adjusted the scope and at a hundred yards was well within an inch group. at two hundred yards it started to climb a bit but was still shooting within eight tenths of an inch!!! at three hundred yards it started to level out again and bong bong bong went the gong... the range guy said i was shooting in the eight hundreds!! yeah me!!!
cheese came home and we both bitched about being tired and ready for bed.. i guess i was more ready for bed than her... damn me again! if im not careful she will be aleaving me soon.
spent today up on the mountain doing what i do and watched a movie.
i'll be a cleanin, a launderin and a dishin here in a minute!!!

hope you all are well and fine, off the highways and home enjoyin yer day. i'll be back to answer to last posts tomorrow... and btw ladies... perhaps the girl in the picture below has not yet attained the orgasm part of her masturbation yet... it is a masturbation motivation poster now isnt it... not an orgasm poster... and some womens nipples just dont get hard enough to see through a double layered tank with boob supports... now if you would like to prove me wrong and sport one of those tees and try taking a picture of yourselves in the front seat of your chevy cavilers then by all means... i know the onion is ready for the next step in entertainment!!!!!