Friday, September 28, 2007


this motherfucker that works here as our electrician/plumber/computer tech/hacker/fuck-up. has crashed my work computer!!! I'm gonna kill this fucking shit fucker. and I've calmed down from yesterday... i had files for work like you wouldn't believe. thousands of photos, hundreds of songs, hundreds of business contacts, home numbers and cell phones for these people that I've built up for years. link lists, with built in passwords for websites that i have no idea how to get back.
this fuckers solution?!?! "you need a new hard drive." WTF?!?!?!? kiss my ass, you but munching, salami sucker...

"what the fuck do you mean, i need a new hard drive? it was working just fine yesterday?"

"well, um, i wanted to install the T-1 upgrades on your computer."

"why? i told you i don't want you fucking around with my computer, remember what you did last time?"
He seemingly deleted entire programs. said i "downloaded a virus." (we had another tech come in after that and i was told he had installed a hacked log tracking program on my computer and it wasn't allowing me to open anything it couldn't follow...) godamn felch farmer...

"well i ordered you a new hard drive, it'll be here tomorrow."

"don't bother, send it back. I'm throwing that p.o.s. away and buying a dell."

"no you are not buying a dell."

"fuck you Tim, I'm buying a dell."
now i know he hates dells, and that's the only reason i said that. so i called my tech buddy in town and asked him if he could recover the information. he's going to give it a whack and build me a new hacker proof unit.
i took the box out of my desk and set it aside to take to town later and this fucker gets inside of it and starts jacking shit!! he tried to take the parts out of it. my "busted" hard drive, my new T-1 modem thingy and my dual cooling fans and dual processors... this fucker was trying to sabotage me!!!!!!!
I'm going to kill this fucking donkey dick!
and I'm much more calm than yesterday...
so kids wish me luck and pray for me that i don't run this guy off the road this evening when i see him driving his jerk mobile home... ohh and enjoy your weekends!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007


this was me all damn weekend... oh my belly hurts.

yeah, its me. the bitchy portion of all these voices... i ache. my whole damn body aches. I'm not hung over, or too tired or any of that other shit i normally bitch about, just achy. no matter how much i stretch or rub, all my muscles, joints and bones hurt. i think I'm getting sick. not one of those stomach blow-outs. or one of the head pounder snot fests, but the knock me down for a couple of days and feel like toilet crust for a couple of weeks afterwards.. poor me.

we busted ass this weekend:finished the wood shed, built the remaining steps, built the ramp and covered it with bark mulch. planted fifty dollars worth of bulbs, planted the grapes, installed the fence posts for the grapes and fertilized. transplanted all the remaining mint into pots. finished roofing the chicken coop and cut bigger doors in the hen house, finished wiring up the pen. cleaned out the storage shed and organised it. maintained a fire in the house since Thursday. swept off all the roofs, including the wood shed. hiked up the hill. hacked a new trail up to the back side of the chicken coop and removed more brush,(well dragged it down into the driveway for me to chip it up later.). did four loads of laundry and two loads of dishes, split my finger open with the drill and smacked my hand with the hammer so hard it popped open and let my blood run freely. staked up the honey suckle and staked the jasmine as well. cleaned the shop. loaded a truck load of garbage and building debris into the Toyota. taught a four year old girl how to play Yahtzee and she then proceeded to kick our asses twice!

all this and more! at least we got to have a few shots of Yeager in with all that and put down some beer. made some good food and marinated a wild boar steak for this evening! yum.

I've got a buddy who likes to kill shit and eat it, he's good at it too. he went hunting with a buddy last week and came out with a huge wild pig. next day came into my work wondering if i wanted any meat.

"dude, want some wild boar?"

"uhh, fuck yeah! what do you want for it?"

"c'mon I'll cut you a slab."

we head out of my office and over to his dodge pick up. he flips over this classic blue tarp and pulls on a string wrapped around a canvas sack, out flops the cleaned out side of a huge fucking pig.

"what do you want?"

"i dunno, give me something recognizable. gimme a shit load of it too. i wanna freeze some."

he whips out his folding pocket knife and gives me a nice back strap of meat and cuts me another five or six pounds from somewhere else... fucking sweet!!! is all i can think of... i bag it up and hes off. come to think of it, hmmm... i don't remember there being as much meat as he gave me when i opened it last night. i stored it in the fridge at work on Friday, i bet some one got into it... fuckers...

well kids, I've got to go over to Salinas for parts. we have a water tender that we bought from the fire brigade and one of the boys here ripped off the mirror, housing and all. the parts people say the chassis numbers i gave don't match the truck I'm looking for parts on, so i have to bring the mangled assembly to them and say "gimme another one of these!" enjoy the week!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


sorry kids, been busy at work using my blogging time buying this image from this photographer. yeah i know, I'm always pimping out my blog promoting other people shit and put way too many links on for people to be bothered with checking out. but that what Ive been doing for the last hour. what have you been doing?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


reading b-eggs blog this morning and shes looking for new avenues of employment, gave a website that matches people with jobs after asking 39 questions. here is what they came up with for me...

1.CABLE INSTALLER AND REPAIRER: WTF? i fucking hate t.v. i would never drive around and install this brain drain for people. and its my top job listing??? these people need to look for a new job, somewhere other than their own computer models.

2.CARPENTER: i can't make a square box to bury my self in. i like playing with wood.(that doesn't sound right.) but professional? no.

3. SHEET METAL WORKER: too flimsy, and I'd end up cutting myself with the shit.

4.BOILERMAKER: isn't this a drink?

5. TILE SETTER: sounds like this job is on my knees, yeah no, fuck that.

6.WELDER: so by the time they got to job number six they got it right.

7. AUTOMOTIVE PAINTER: i'm pretty good at this one too.

8. GLAZIER: isn't this shit on ice cream or doughnuts?

9. PLUMBER: I've got enough crack for the job, but other peoples rotten pipes don't interest me at all.

10. AUTO BODY REPAIRER: yeah this is easy work, but holds no interest for me.

11. CABINETMAKER: nope. see job #2.

12. SIGN MAKER: I'll give you a fucking sign.

13. ELECTRONICS ASSEMBLER: do i look like a child? i don't live in china either.

14. PET GROOMER: i don't like others people animals that much. and if i got bit, I'd bite back.

15. DENTAL LAB TECH: yuck. "brush your teeth fuck!" wouldn't go over well i bet. but it sounds like id probably end up building dentures or something

16. COMMERCIAL DRIVER: uh no, ever read my blog? i could tell you why that wouldn't work but it is kind of obvious.

17. IRON WORKER: yeah, i could do this too. we have a forge I've been ogling for years, but have never found enough parts to get it going again.

18. PIPE FITTER: ah, no.

19. HVAC TECH: this sounds like the most boring job ever.

20. STEAM FITTER: i burn myself enough already.

21. MILLWRITE: may be i should look some of these up.

22. SPRINKLER SYSTEM INSTALLER: more on my knees work. and we have people that do this here. doesn't look fun.

23. CONSTRUCTION TRADES PERSON: boy this isn't too vague. or does this mean laborer?

24. BRICKLAYER/STONEMASON: nah, sounds like hard work.

25. INDUSTRIAL MACHINERY MECHANIC: so, at number twenty five they nail it. perhaps I'm in the wrong line of work.

26. ELEVATOR INSTALLER AND REPAIRER: "don't look down, Zack was working on this one..."

27. INSULATOR: sounds itchy.


29. DRY WALLER: fuck this, done it. don't ever want to this again.
30. MINER (UNDERGROUND): hell no, ever read the paper? have you ever seen a good story about mining!

31. TOOL AND DIE MAKER: weak...

32. PLASTERER: these guys work on weekends, just to make ends meet.

33. MACHINIST: do this already, we have a full on machine shop. was actually doing this yesterday. built an adapter to go from our new auger motor to an old auger.

34. CONCRETE MASON: nope, more kneeling.

35. ROOFER: i drink to much for high places.

36. SHIP'S CREW: i like boating and own one, but I'm captain all the way! besides "seamen all over the poop deck." doesn't sound like all that much fun to me either.

37. OPTICAL/OPHTHALMIC LAB TECH: can you see me now? good. go home.

38. BICYCLE MECHANIC: whats your top wage for this job? bout nine bucks an hour. what kind of experience do i need. i build engines bitch! fuck your bicycles!

39. UPHOLSTERER: do this too.

40. MUSICAL INSTRUMENT BUILDER AND REPAIRER: not a musical bone in my body. i can whistle.

all in all i didn't really learn that much from this experience. but it was fun to see what the Internet machine spits out...


Monday, September 17, 2007

another weekend down...

blur... where the fuck did the weekend go? wanna know? here we go...
Friday afternoon got a twelve pack as a tip from a customer, shared that until it was gone, got off work, went to the bar and met with special cheese and a friend. drank several gin and tonics and then went to Buddy's house for deer stew and coorslite. filled our gullets and went to the pub, where we had stout beers and danced on the dance floor for a few blues rock songs, pooped back over to the first bar to get some smokes and a last shot "for the road" and we blasted home. had a couple road sodas along the way and watched cheese spill her insides when we got home... ( i did laugh when she hurled! bad boyfriend huh?)

got up in the morning and went to town, gas and parts for my truck, realized i had made cheese late to work! jammed home, grabbed some roadies, tried to get her to work at a reasonable late time... met up with some buddies and went to the south coast and went fishing. sucked down a thirty pack and caught enough fish to fry! (sweet, broke my skunking spell.) hammered the Toyota back up the coast and hit up Nepenthe for a couple of shots... (we didn't want to have to clean any fish so we lingered long enough there till we thought it was done... good plan, bad for wasted friend though...) dropped wasted friend off and watched him almost fall out of the truck! ha ha! that was the last we saw of him for the night. then went over to Buddy's house and ate fish tacos, helped him put down another thirty pack and hasseled his cool neighbors about trucks... talked to cheese who said i should probably slow down on the drinking for the rest of the night... took her advice and parked the truck in the pull out to wait for her to get out of work so we could car pool. drank a few more beers and forgot what i was doing there so i drove home. (she said i was face down in the couch when she got home and i tried to talk her into sleeping there because it was so "nice on the couch...").

got up Sunday morning and had a neighbor come over with his daughter. tested out my twelve volt pool pump and filter device i built from spare parts... works great, i figure i can run it a couple hours a day on the panels charging the battery.

anyway, we managed to suck down the case box of coorslite i had on hand and retrieved his twelver or Pabst, ( ithinkitwaspabst?!) and bar-b-qed up some steak and sausages. cheese made homemade spaghetti sauce from the tomatoes in our garden. (everything home grown except for the onion, which i think came from the neighbors garden.) had like seven kids running around and got all the adults fed. great dinner!! made some screw drivers and kicked everyone out of the house around nine p.m. put the girls to bed and passed the fuck out! much to cheeses dismay I'm sure. i vaguely remember trying talk me into something.... what a jack-ass...

well its Monday and I'm sure i should be turning a wrench on something... the rest of you should get to work as well!! have a nice week!

Friday, September 14, 2007


people are looking for me... i haven't done any scab work for anyone in a long time... (work after work.) one of my older friends just bought a used dozer. he has been trying to track me down for a few days now. starts with the polite calls to my cell phone, then to the "you really need to be calling me back!" calls and the the "hey, i finally got a hold of you at work." phone call. so, he has massaged his way into my busy weekend (sit around at home and drink beer) schedule. he is going to buy me some drinks at fernwood to go over the details. sounds nice. i need to get a hold of cheese and may be he will buy her some drinks as well.

we don't have the girls this weekend so we have some adult time. it never fails though, when we go out after work, and stay for "just one beer", we inevitably end up cleaning up dog shit when we get home after dark.

so i know i post too many links, but Knudsen's got a funny spin on this one... i had just been listening to this news on NPR this week and i thought it sounded like a good idea. i guess other people thought not. but Knudsen came up with some funny photos of what he thought it might look like here. might not be work friendly for those of you slacking off. and for you sickos out there try not to be turned on, that would be ba-aa-aa-aa-dd!! for those of you with the queasy stomachs, don't look. but if you were the easily offendable you wouldn't be reading here anyway! right?

i recently picked up a new reader from, where the hell are you from, Chisinau Moldova? anyway... welcome to the voices...

somehow my small time still operation has picked up a following as well. even though i talk about it here quite openly, i generally don't say much about when and how much i make in town here. i have some friends that are "in the know" and maybe that's how things started spreading around but i heard this today.

"hey man, i heard you just ran another batch, whats it take to get some?" dude #1.

"oh right, i heard you were doing that last weekend, yeah me too, id like to get some."dude#2.

"yeah no problem, uh no..." i said as i was trying to leave the parking lot. "it didn't work out but maybe next time. you'll have to barter for it."

funny, small town shit. if i could get enough into production i could start selling t-shirts for it. see here's my get rich quick thought. give a small amount away to friends, who just happen to be seen drinking this shit at partys and such, with a special label on it or something and then print some shirts out with that label on it... blam... it would be way more cool than actually having to sell the liquor, (which is illegal, really illegal!) and make tons of money selling bullshit t-shirts... sounds fool proof about 198.6. aaahhhahahahahahahha.. (crazy laugh..of a mad man of course, not me...)

well that all the time i have for today, I'll leave you all with a little song.. who are the people in your neighborhood? in your neighborhood, in your ne-ei-borho-od... who are the people in your neighborhood? they're the people that you meet, when your walking down the street, they're the peo-ple that you meet each daaaaaaayyyyy!!!

(see if that doesn't stick in your head for a while...)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


sorry folks, i know you all have been checking in on me and i haven't written shit. i haven't been here since Thursday and the computers were down on Friday and blogging on a mac with dial up pretty much sucks the grande meat burrito! well enough excuses already and write something bitch...

i just got the lecture about not spending any money at work... i guess taxes were due and the company just wrote a massive check. not two minutes later a man who i scheduled to come in last week rolls into my office. i had asked him to come in and do a custom leather steering wheel wrap on one of our trucks that needs it.

"hey man I'm here to wrap that wheel." he says in an Australian accent.

"right on, lets see if that truck is here." i reply.

there are two holes being burned into the back of my head from Wendy's stare of death. we head out into the yard and i hear the ladies in the office start to cackle about how i don't listen and how i do what ever the hell i want, blah, blah...

we work out the details and he will show up later to measure the wheel and get to work. the other head honcho types here saw me talking with "the leather guy" and now we are going to give him about six hundred dollars in business...they want custom wheel covers as well. oops i wasn't supposed to spend any money.

(hey l-train, you get their website up and running yet? and I'll give them a link!)

i took the the last five and a half days off of work, no i didn't go to the lake. nope, no fishing either. nah, i didn't even work in the yard much. pretty much sat around and drank beer. well that's not entirely true.

went out to lunch on my birthday. to the nepenthe restaurant and spent $90 on lunch for two adults and two kids. one of whom ate french fries only... this was after comped drinks and free desserts. throw $25 on for tip and you have one fucking expensive lunch. (quit bitching.)

the fire department here had given me a nice tip last week and i used that towards our lunch. quite a few of our friends work there, so we got to see some people and i even got a free coffee mug. (now we have four!)

spent the rest of my time off sleeping in and getting drunk, went to the beach and watched special cheeses daughter boogie board. went to the south coast and had family dinner with cheese and co. had some friends come into town and made breakfast, blah, blah, blah.

I'm being watched and have no more parts to order so I'll leave you all with this thought. isn't it nice to get what you want when you want it? how do you tell someone thanks for not doing anything and have them know you mean it! i really just wanted to sit at home and relax, take the weekend as it came and be mellow. i really enjoyed myself and doing nothing was exactly what the doctor ordered....

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

been writing over here lately...

i had quite a weekend, whew... I've been chatting with some experts over here this week. i ran a batch through the still and it didn't come out like i thought it would. made fucking Windex!!! that's the first time I've had negative results... tried something new and it didn't work... idiot...

anyway, had some friends come up and we cut down hundreds of small trees, bucked em up, chipped up the remainder and still have half an acre to go..WE HAD FOUR CHAIN SAWS GOING AT ONCE! quite a sight! need to stay warm this winter and we want to give some to the neighbor family. (they have none!)
cheese and i thought we might slow the drinking down this week, it was a whirlwind weekend of work, drinking, bbqs, work, partying, bbqs, work and finally more drinking... head hurt something fierce last night...

trying to figure out if going to the lake is possible for Sunday and Monday.. then Tuesday is my birthday. so if you don't check in by then I'll cheers ya in thought... shit they are looking over my shoulder here at work, better get "something else" done... have a week!

edit: OH, and my buddy from l.a. is bringing his girlfriend up this weekend! never met her... should be cool, like a girlfriend show and tell! not a swap, a show and tell...(you fucking perverts... heh heh)