Thursday, June 28, 2007

well, what can you do?

there is no amount of cold beer that will fix the level of frustration I'm feeling right now. so, I'm going to let it all go, leave work early and go get an ice cold beer! ha to all who must stay at work! i just fixed the 401c and took the fire hose to the back hoe.

"oops, did i get you wet?"

"que?" he looks at me slightly wet.

"mucho agua, si?"

"si."his reply as he wrings out his shirt.

"yeah, mucho fucking agua, get it?"

yeah, going home now... before i get into any trouble.

oh and i just got a call from special cheese.

"i just went up to the water tank, bad news, its not pumping..."

how do they say it? insult to injury?

ice cold beer... sounds good, have a nice day all!!!


So today i have been blessed with the most wonderful helper yet. actually I've had him help me in the past... so today when i was told he would be helping me again i was overjoyed...

"hey, you are getting F.L.O.P. today." he says... (fat, lazy, over paid. flop.)

"no thanks, i told you last time i don't want him in the shop."

"well, you get him, his dad is working with you too. can you keep them both busy?"

"i tell you what, i don't want him in the yard. it kills me we pay this kid money. he is the laziest person on payroll."

"well, Dave says he is doing a lot better. gluing pipe and back filling trenches on his own."

"i don't have any pipe for him to glue and do you see any trenches around here?" i reply. "his dad can baby sit, he can clean out the back hoe, i don't want to tell him what to do cause I'll start getting pissed off."

"do what you can, make him listen."

"that's gonna work."

FLOP is a kid that snuck across the border a few months ago and lives here in the yard with his dad and brother, out back in a converted trailer we have.... NO ENGLISH, and he pretends he doesn't understand my Spanish either. i don't know perfect Spanish, but i speak perfect get the fuck to work!!!

when i point and say clean this, use a vacuum, (witch i point to.) and bring him a bucket with water and soap and a variety of cleaning products to use. it means get to fucking work! i say it in Spanish, i repeat in English, and ask his father if he understands...

"yes, yes."

"does he get it? clean the back hoe?"

"yes, yes."

"then why is he cleaning the shop?"

"yes, yes."

"hey stop fucking around in my shop, these are my tools and i don't give a shit if there is dust in here, clean. the. fucking. back hoe. got it?"

"yes, yes."

aaarrrgggghhhhh.... its now about twelve thirty and guess what? my backhoe is filthy. WTF. anybody want to make twelve bucks an hour out there? I'd happily send this guy to well... anywhere but here!!!

we constantly hire these rejects, they will mill around the yard trying not to be noticed too much and then reluctantly go to work... i say we have them all stand at the bottom of the road and pick out a few of them to work for us everyday... wanna motivate some of our labor force? don't let them go to work! wanna see them start appreciating their larger then normal paychecks? stop paying for standing around for an hour every morning. and hire some fucking people interested in learning the god dam language!!!

all right, all right... I'll stop with the borderline tantrum right there... i could easily spin out of control and accidentally swing the boom over a little too far and wack one of these helpers in the head while they are standing around picking their noses and eating it.

i think I'm going to go out and spray this fucker with the fire hose... will that get my point across?

in other news! we are going to the nakamoto fest this weekend! see last years here and this years here! lots of fun and i wrote a post about it here...

shit, flop has no brought the attention of some one else down upon himself... got to go.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

sorry about the language

yeah, whoops. the post following this one or just before, depending on how you look at it has some explicit language. sorry about that. i guess i was real pumped up when i was writing it and spell check never seems to think words like fuck, shit or assholes are incorrect. huh.

whats that up there boy?

i'm overwhelmed, my dog might have heart worms.. the initial test came up positive and they had to take another sample for secondary blood work. fucking dog.

we ran out of water yesterday, my landlod gave the neighbor the go ahead to get some water from us. grrr. after i found out he might have been stealing it before, he called my land lord and got the official go ahead.

i don't give a shit what he does with his water and his property, but we pay a lot of fucking money to this man and he is giving away our water to a real piece of shit. i. don't. like. him. he has plumbed his "water line" into the pump side of our system and and put a valve in and shut off the water to us. fucker. he was supposed to take only from our overflow. i called the landlord last night, trying to keep my cool, i explained to him the situation.

"I'm gonna chop up that water line of his if it happens again."

"don't do that I'll call him."

"i have three girls here and four tomorrow, if i don't get water, it's going to be a real problem!"

"okay, I'll straighten it out."

our water runs up about six or seven hundred feet from the creek. its powered by the sun, as long as its shining, i get water. pumps about twelve hundred gallons a day. we have a four thousand gallon tank that should last us quite a long time. unless someone is stealing it! theives...

i get to work this morning and my yard is out of water too! can you believe this shit. we spent all morning hiking up and down the mountain side looking for leaks in our system here. just to find out some asshole left their water hose on all night. drained three thousand gallons of our water. there are two houses illegally hooked up to our tank here.
you want to know what my shop smells like after twenty five guys drink two cups of coffee in the morning and use a bathroom with no water? now imagine these guys not noticing that there isn't any water to flush. or that the first ten guys didn't know either? getting any visuals on it yet? how bout a smell check?

yeah, so now I'm going over to Salinas to get some parts for this truck again. more money down drain.

did i forget to mention that our good friend "day hoe" is up to his tricks again!

"dude, did you see the 401c?" he asks. (that's our yard loader.)

"no, do you mean the hydro hose that blew yesterday when you were loading? i fixed that, its ready to go."

"uhh, no come here." he says quietly to not draw any attention from the higher ups.

"i think i hit the wall, and now it won't steer and there is that bar thingy hanging down there. see it?"

"how the fuck can i miss it? you think you hit the wall? the rim is still embedded in the concrete."

"sorry bro, hey, its just like I'm keeping you busy all the time, heh heh."

"you should run, I'll give you a head start."

of course these parts are only available in Pennsylvania or some shit, but my guy over at empire is getting them to me for tomorrow. that's nice because i definitely don't have enough shit to do around here. nobody ever pisses me off or anything! and they wonder why i carry a gun under the seat of my truck!

"you should run...."

how do i have time to sit here and bitch about all this when i should be out in the yard laying on my back in a pool of hydraulic oil yanking out the broken steering arm? why am i not arm deep in a clutch housing preparing to install these parts in the morning after u.p.s. arrives? well, besides all the other things i do here, i do take lunch. hahahahahahaha. and i bring buckets of water in from the water tender so the ladies who work here can use the office bathroom and not feel disgusted by "letting it mellow".

hope y'alls week is going well and perhaps you can send some "don't piss Zack off by stealing his water" vibes over to my neighbor. who if i catch on my property again I'll casually let my dog out and say those magic words he loves so much,that i never,ever, ever say to him....


Friday, June 22, 2007

cool pics!

just wicked quick, a friend of mine sent me these pics she took last weekend at her house! we were drinking and dancing the afternoon away... much fun!


something i just noticed, if you click on the pictures, they blow up to the size i put them on there.. at least on my computer it does... let me know if it works on all of yours too. i was kinda bummed that they always download so small, but i guess that is to keep the "blog" looking neat and pretty. so i used a four mega-pixel camera to take those shots and they seem to look good when i click on them too. so i hope that it works for everyone and at least someone can enjoy them!

the house....

here it is, fresh from this morning. the house. its brand new, everything in it is brand new, so its nice. its too hot for much grass and the soil sucks. but we water the fuck out of whats there and try to keep things green! special cheese has been cultivating the hillside and planting stuff in these flat beds she has carved out of the mountain. we have just finished building a workshop downstairs in the out door shed thing. helps keep stuff from getting chewed on by rats. yup there are rats. huge ones, the size of small cats, but they don't get into the house and pretty much stay out of the shop, but we kill quite a few on the mountain. anyway, i got to get back to work! have a great weekend everyone and hopefully "talk" with you all soon!!!

garden of eden. what? well its nice anyway.

here are a couple shots of the garden on the side of the house... the retaining wall we built.(we are fucking crazy.) some patchy sun and you can almost make out some of the fine veggies we have agrowin. special cheese convinced me into flowers in the veggie garden after much bitching and whining i agreed. I'm so glad i did, it looks great and she has done such a wonderful job. she pours so much time and energy into it! its fun watching the girls get all juiced on the sun flowers. one is almost seven feet tall already.(they named it sunny.)
solar panels and generator in the back ground, did i ever mention our house is off the grid? everything powered by the sun!

the pen! or coop, or whatever the fuck you are supposed to call it!

it looks small but its really not, its sixteen feet by sixteen feet. six feet tall and it only took four days of after work to do it. total cost to put chickens on our property? about three hundred and sixty bucks! the box with the jhole in the bottom will accually have two floors of egg laying goodness. i need to finish it up. but for now the chics don't really use it yet.... is all this boreing you yet?


yep, chickens!!! it took a couple tries for us to both be in the picture with our eyes open and having chics in our hands all at the same time!

this morning.

we were grouchy this morning... but this is special cheese!

Thursday, June 21, 2007


can i write shit here too?


so I'm bring home the camera from work. I'd like to take some pics of the place and show them off. anybody mind? too bad if you do... hahahaha. its so ff-ing hot right now up there and buggy.

nothing else to complain about right now, I'm hungry and tired but that's kind of the usual around here now. so hopefully I'll be able to figure out how to put more than one picture at a time on again... happy Thursday!

perhaps i'll see if i can do it now. (with the pictures thingy.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

i'll be here soon!!!

so ff-ing busy! never a minute to sit down... been bouncing from job to job for days it seems. with missing two days of work last week it's been a huge hustle here at work to get caught up. yup no slacking off. but I'm on the phone with parts people right now so no worries.
we are building a chicken pen and coop! "what the fuck?" you say, that's what I'm saying now too! it sounded like an easy project but it's proving to be a pain in the ass. i thought a sixteen by sixteen foot pen seemed small, but not when I'm standing in it and realising how much more work i have left to go! "why chickens?" you ask, i dunno. the girls expressed some interest. and in this world of television and shit, i thought it might be a way to keep us all even more occupied then normal...
shit phone call is over got to go!

Saturday, June 16, 2007


sorry folks.... stomach flu.... we had it at our house earlier this week and thought she had food poisoning. guess not. i would use my normal descriptive language but i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about. i have not felt like that since my first trip to mexico... even bali belly wasn't so violent. (here i go being descriptive...) oops, i mean poops.... ahahahaa..
anyway, things are better now and should be able to return to work on mnday. its a beautiful day today and we have much planned, happy fathers day to any of you out there!!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


well i say that because I'm starting to be tired all the fucking time. my body aches and it takes quite a bit for me to get the ball rolling lately. besides work, there is all the stuff at home i do. gardening, moving, yard work, housework, etc. etc. now i don't want to sound like I'm bitching. but some of the things i usually get done seem to be slipping... dishes, laundry, ( i like doing laundry, everything is so clean and fresh!) mopping.. blah blah blah. thanks to special cheese these things are being handled. but I'm not doing it she is.

there are also all the things i want to be doing. new seats in the boat, build the chicken coop, doors on the wood shed, electricity in the shop, a lawn, fix her car, finish installing the suspension kit in my truck, dogs to the vet, check on the water, kids to the lake, kids camping, buy treys little motorcycle, fix the mountain bike, run another batch of moonshine, cut down some trees, stack some wood for winter, got the creek and make a swimming hole, fuck. so much to do... i think that's why I've been stressing out lately. too much shit to do. but i know it will all happen. and its something i complain about all the time. not enough time.

other then that things are going great!!! have a good one. I'm trying to get off a little early today. go home and get some more shit handled.... thanks for all the replies to the question yesterday... makes me feel all warm and fuzzy... WTF? so I'll ask another. what is one thing you all really want to do/get done/have happen for you this summer? and can i help? i'm better at doing other peoples shit than my own!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


i fucking hate yellow jackets too!!! special cheese just got stung by bees and i bet that sucks. i can't stand getting stung. i was on the highway driving my motorcycle years back with the visor up and had one lodge in the side of my helmet... needless to say i couldn't get off the fucking bike fast enough... any body have a good bee story?

Monday, June 11, 2007


SO BUSY HERE AT WORK!!! don't even hardly have a minute to blog but... some highlights:

got invited to a party on Saturday. had a great time. dancing, drinking and sun, got to see some friends that i have not seen in a long time. got to meet Traci's new son, and flick my nose up at the people who used to be my friends...

when ever you go to a party that is not in big sur and there are people from the sur attending, you will most likely find them in a corner or somewhere out side not mingling with the others... so i got to poke some fun at them...

"hey, hey big sur! c'mon over, the party is happening over here!"

"hey, you all don't even smoke! why hang out all by your selves?"

"hey, big sur people!!! don't be afraid there are trees and hot tubs here too!"

i had a hoot! then i thought it would be a good idea to throw a bowl of almonds at them.. you know for fun. except i only hit one person in the shoulder. my ex. whoops, i did apologize and still received the same blank stare and glare. fuck you if you cant take a joke! its a party and we were all having fun!

stayed at home on Sunday. i was supposed to help out a friend, but when i called him at about nine a.m. he was already gone. shit i feel bad, and I'm sure he is bent. WTF can i do about it now?

so worked in the garden all day and did some moving of my own...

well got to get back to work already... hope your weekends were kind to you and enjoy the week! i think I'm going to take Friday off... hmm.

Friday, June 08, 2007


"so, you know you can't take this truck out on the highway."

"i know, it has front end problems. i won't, i promise."

"the seat belts also don't work. it's not really safe to drive at all."

"i know i'm only driving it up and down the mountain."

"well in four wheel drive this thing is a fucking bitch to steer."

"i don't need four wheel drive."

okay, it's at this point i'm thinking to myself. WTF? its a dirt road that goes up a thousand feet in elevation in less than a mile!

"well don't drive it on the highway."

"fine, that's fine."

she starts and drives away. down the driveway and right turns out on to the highway. in my face! i lose again. hopefully she only kills herself and isn't picking up the kids to all fly off the mountain! fucking crack whores.

"i think its more of a moral issue than a safety issue." famous last words...

Thursday, June 07, 2007

here is whats pissing me off today.

i walk up to the office today.

"you are not going to like this." says our front office manager.

"what?" i reply.

"they want to give the jimmy to I'm a bad mother and still cant get my shit together." she looks at me waiting for me to explode.

"no, no fucking way." i say firmly.

"well talk to boss 1 and 2. they said she could have it." she returned.

okay some history about that shit. the jimmy is this ancient truck we have that i have given to a buddy of mine who needs the engine. he hasn't picked it up yet and its still here in the yard. its a major death trap, it is coming unglued! the front end is barely hanging on, it shakes so bad on the road at twenty five it almost yanks you off it.

I'm a bad mother and still can't get my shit together, is a local woman here who is a complete fuck up. kindest heart, nice lady, but makes nothing but the wrong choices. bad, bad, bad decisions. she lives a mile up a dirt road. "can't get her kids down the hill." (i don't think they go to school or anything.) but she "needs" a car to get up and down the hill. plus they can walk! they are in their young teens. i would tell those little groms to get up early and walk their fucking asses down the hill.

"ummm, why would we give her this truck? it doesn't even drive." i ask.

"i dunno, we told her she could have it."his response, with out even looking up.

"no, I'll pop the fucking tires on it right now. it's not moving." I'm pissed. "why the hell do we want to put this women and her kids in the death box on a gnarly dirt road. i don't want fucking kids in this truck."

"she says she wont drive it on the highway." he looks at me with this blank stare.

"WTF are you talking about? she is going to go to town in it as soon as she pulls it out of the drive way!!" i storm out.

of all the stupid shit we could do to some one is help a fucking addict out with a way to get her shit. ( i don't know what she is into, but her boyfriend is one of our towns biggest losers! drugs, alcohol, etc. etc.)

aaarrrggghhh! I'm so pissed off. I'm gonna go and pop the fucking tires right now.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007




well this next few minutes, I'll be pretending to work on my computer. I'm currently bidding on this picture here. yes, yes... another thing you all might not have known about me is that i also collect photography. nude photography... hmmm... now you might be thinking to yourself, "sweet I've been reading some perverts blog.." but no, sorry to disappoint you. I'm not a pervert. well... just not that way. go ahead, take a look at the picture. see. you want it too now don't you. don't bother bidding on it, i have set quite a high bidding price. and if you do win, you paid too much for it. all though Don Cramer is a great photographer, his shit isn't selling for that much yet. so wish me luck. hope all your weekends were terrific!

ooooohhhhhhhh........ forty minutes and counting. anybody else use ebay? i had to learn the hard way about a few things. like "don't get into a bidding war." and what the hell a "sniper" was. how sellers drive up there own prices and how they cheat you on shipping. whats real and whats not, how to check up on sellers and the merchandise. fun and exciting but I've wasted some money as well. i have bought some prints from a guy whose school and studio where just recently blown up by some crazy local war happening there... i have a limited print number which is now even more linited, because there is no way for him to make any more of that particular image because his negatives have all been, um, destroyed.... crazy no?

Friday, June 01, 2007


well a blogger that i read and have a link for, has a catch phrase contest, which i want to enter. but i am completely stumped on how she handles it. i am supposed to write my catch phrase on my site and link it back to hers.... anybody ever do this shit before? if she uses it,. she links her site back to mine. that is the reward. hmm... i don't give a shit about the traffic, but i think it would be cool to see it in her header anyway, this is what i think I'm supposed to do:

well hopefully it works. this little gem of a saying is a fairly standard one here in the sur. with such a small gene pool to choose from, it ends up being more of a swap meet than anything... small town, small choice of dating opportunities.

now if you have been here for a while you can probably trace back through all the people you have slept with and all the people they have slept with and so on until you reach some fairly bad realizations. you know what i mean, the amount of spit and semen shared in this town makes me want to burn it off with gasoline. or at least get a std check once a week. yuck. (just kidding) but, its the real deal here.

i have friends who just recently pretty much swapped sleeping partners, funny it is not. but kinda? i hope all is well in cyber land and talk to you soon. oh wait!

i had something else i wanted to say. i was just recently searching for some information on some people here. this is scary, the Internet provided me with such details that i could not believe. everything was available, copy's of everything. identity theft could be so unbelievably easy! WTF? so watch out what you put on here. what you sign and what sites you use... folks I'm not fucking shitting you!


i just wrote about two paragraphs ranting about what happened to me and special cheese yesterday. but i deleted it. seeing as how a course of action has now been taken that would well, better to not talk about those sorts of things here in the almost anonymous world.

so enjoy the weekend folks, make merry and be happy!

i plan on running water lines to the far reaches of the yard and making some great food! well and more. we are trying not to "party" so much in front of the younglings, not that we party too much or do anything illegal, but was just feeling the need not to consume so much beer and smoke so many cigarettes in front of them. we are having a sleep over tonight and i bought the last starwars for them to watch. we previewed it last night and I'm not quite sure how these movies appeal to kids.

I'm pretty sure they all sucked. hello? did anyone else notice how bad the acting was in the latest two films? i thought the fucking jar jar binks creature was better than the main dude. i swear i played video games on my cell phone through most of the scenes with whats his fuck in them.

ahh!!! I'm a dork all of a sudden, bitching about starwars... anyway, i am not quite sure that murdering children halfway through the movie was a smart move.....

six and a half more hours till a weekend of freedom!!! clean clothes, cold beer (in a glass, not in a can, so it looks like something else?) and hot sex all over the place! wait what did i just i say????

see you all soon, err... well, whatever.