Friday, August 31, 2007

friday biatchs.

this is what "my" version of the new gate locking mechanism looks like. one week and one trip to town for parts and its fucking done.
here is a closer view. a few post ago i posted a few pictures of one similar. i think the state built that one and that's why it looks so shitty. myself and a good welder worker here fabricated this one up in our "free" time. (the time when we are standing around not doing anything else, or getting paid to do anything else.)

this is what i look like on a Wednesday just before i get out of work. trust me i look just like this on a Friday before i get out on a long weekend as well... see that Toyota pick-up in the back ground? that's mine. can you guess whats sitting on the front seat? a thirty six pack of Coors lite! damn how did you guess that. I'm going to see how many beers i can pound down while driving home... (not really, i usually only finish like two beers by the time i get there. but it makes my forty minute drive home sound like so much more fun if you imagine that I'm shotgunning beers while driving.) hiccup!

so try and have a good weekend all... this isn't a very happy time for some of us, but give it a whack okay! okay...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

i'm tired today

ready to go home. a bit melancholy. spent. this week is always a tough one. i looked at the death certificate Monday night and it brought up all the same questions again. when did she die? was it when she was unplugged or when she did the deed, i dunno, fuck it.

I'm not too worried about things this year. its been five years. i got the phone call at work, i don't answer phone calls from family at work any more. a couple times Ive gotten those types of calls. sorry fam, don't call me at work... i wont talk to you.

other news... oh my birthday is coming up too...yaahhh...

I'll bitch more about that when the time comes.

oh we had a surfer get bit by a great white shark this week. hahahahahhaaa, that makes me laugh...

"oh poor guy, he loved surfing!" a friend of his is quoted as saying.

fuck you, dress up like a seal and splash around like you are injured, in shark infested waters? you deserve to get bit. I've been under the sea, i know whats down there... ever been to the aquarium? looked into the tanks there? you see sharks don't cha? do the math, moron...

so buddy, sorry to hear that you got bit by a thirteen foot great white, (which is pretty small for those ones) but i wont be shedding a tear for ya any time soon. and when you do get out of the hospital, you will be getting more ass and action then any of your surfer buddies...

plus free shit galore! your house will be full of sponsored gear.

"hey, bro... ride our boards..."

"dude, check out these wetsuits, they are shark resistant.."

"hey man, cough, cough, try out these new water bongs..."

so enjoy your Wednesday all and be thankful you have all your body parts, on you, not in a bag next to you in a chopper.


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES...Mother , AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... Been out a while. Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
AND THE BEST ONE : FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes Excellent condition $1,000 or best offer No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.
someone sent me this shit this morning. sounds funny, true? i dunno. stupid humor.

Monday, August 27, 2007

i hope he is okay.

the most fucked thing I've heard of this week.

i popped over to a restaurant blog that i read. he is a great writer, awesome chef and prouder father. i read this post and my jaw hit the floor.

I'm not great friends with Brendon, but we are friends when i see him out and about. I'd like to believe its more than him just tolerating me. years and years ago while drunk at a party i threw a keg cup full of beer all over him and some friends, ran into the bathroom, climbed out the window, ran back inside and helped everyone yell and scream at the guy in the bathroom.

"yeah, kick his ass!" i said.

"who was that ass hole?" someone said.

"I'm going beat the fuck out of you." is what i think Brendon said.

there was banging on the door and people were bent. it started a whole our town your town thing for about ten minutes...

i think everyone kind of forgot about it all, at least i did. it wasn't until years later that i found out he knew it was me... i should still get my ass kicked for that one, but i was just a punk looking for his place in big sur. at the expense of others... my bad, again.


well it sounds like he hurt real bad, i wish there was something i could do for him....
i posted this comment on his fathers page.
happy fucking Monday.

"there is nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer."

i don't remember where i heard it, but i agree with it and you. without them in the places where we live we sometimes wouldn't live.

i was hoping this story would turn out to be some sickened dream you had while recovering from dengue fever, but no... and holy shit! it seems its not. i hope it will all get better and not worse. I've got a batch of long ridge lightning in the still and will get some to you both. holy shit..... i wish there was more that could be done to help.

Friday, August 24, 2007

oh, not so good.

the photographer link a few posts ago... not so good. sorry i was in a hurry and posted it without fully looking through it. cheese and i perused it fully last night and found it to be not so good. i came through to it by a link to one of his photos that was interesting and linked up to his main page instead. even his erotic stuff sux. so if you clicked it and said "WTF? is he talking about, this sucks." I'm with you.
try this guy instead. MUCH, MUCH BETTER. I own several of his prints. and he is very professional, i think his son is now reprinting some of his early stuff and he seems to have a colorful history...

more news...

"friendly fire" ? now, we are not only killing our own soldiers by accident, but we are killing the poor saps who are trying to help us bring democracy to the middle east. we are in for it now.. not that any body in the world like Americans other than our own fat selves but here we are making sure that our last few friends on the planet will start hating us as well!!! kudos bush!

I'm not one for posting video links but japan has got something here. finally some "good" news. news in the nude! and why is the government having a problem with this? educate people! make them smarter dammit! even if you have to be a naked women doing it, whatever it takes! how many more people would be excited to go to school this year, when in one of their classes they got taught by their favorite naked professor? i thought so.

anyway that's all i will bitch about this morning. other than that the wood splitting went well, still have all my fingers... not like this guy.

and have stacked enough wood to make it through the winter! hooray me, yeah i know who gives a shit.

not much else exciting happening around here, i have a batch of alcohol to run through the still this weekend, its been going for two weeks and its ready... this batch i made with brown sugar this time... i think it will have a very slight brown hue to it, not that noticeable but I'll see it. for those of you who didn't know that i make my own alcohol you can see a picture of it here.

are links annoying? does anybody click on them or am i just wasting my time? lemme know.

personal note to friend:

hey denim!! yeah you... whats happening? how did it go the other night. thanks for the help by the way. give me a buzz this weekend.

and finally i hope you all have a great weekend and get everything you want for Christmas.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


i was reading someones shit and this made me laugh... if you dont blow snot, there is something wrong with you.


so today i had to drive up this road...

to look at this gate...

so i could take pictures and make a few sketches...

of this locking device.
we are building a gate for a client who likes this shit... why i dunno. but i can understand that he needs more than just a chain. i don't have much time today, but I'll be splitting wood this evening. so if anybody wants to wish me good luck, now is the time. i managed not to cut off any body parts with the chain saw, so now I'm going to try and shear off some fingers at least with this other tool of death and destruction. a gas powered wood splitter! if i lose anything i promise to post some pics.
have a good hump day!


im busy at work cant you tell? but until i come back, check this out. prolly shouldn't look at it at work.
i'll be back.

Monday, August 20, 2007


i don't have much time but wanted to share the stupidity of the morning.

WTF? how fucking retarded do you have to be to jump naked into a bear cage?

we deal with this shit everyday, we hire these hard working folks all the time. but not a single one grabs a news camera and says "hey, i don't have the proper paper work to be here. poor me."

of all the things to protest, why protest expanding the Heathrow airport, someone tell me?

burn you fucking bitch. "hey lets start fighting dogs, we wont get caught, errr, you run it and I'll fund it and well call it something cool.. bad dogz or bad newz... yeah bad newz kennelz..." ever see two dogs fight, i mean really fight? its not a fun thing to watch and have only ever see two farm dogs get into it as a kid... its fucking scary, i guess some of you folks are into it.

sorry about all the links and not that any of you will track them all down. its just what i was reading while drinking my coffee this morning. in other news we had a pretty good fucking weekend. had a buddy come up and help cut down some trees. want to feel like a man? grab a chainsaw and cut down some large trees! we bucked it all up and then cheese and i four wheeled the Toyota all around and hauled it down the hill to the driveway, five truck we have got to split and stack it. ugh. should get us almost all the way through winter. went to town yesterday and went shopping, wow your really excited about that piece of information aren't ya?

not much else happened, oh we went to bar-b-que on Saturday and embarrassed every couple there by talking about sex?!?! yeah um, they all had kids, so i imagine that they have had sex themselves or at least heard about it. but as soon as i started talking about how many times that morning we had enjoyed ourselves, people started changing color.

seems they wern't getting any? perhaps we were at a catho-holic BBQ? i dunno. i suppose some people cant talk about sex. do you have that problem? have a great week, perhaps some of you will get laid? or do you not want to talk about it?

Friday, August 17, 2007


while working away here at the computer i clicked on over to my email and found out I've been inducted into old bitter balls clan of miscreants. i passed the test and can begin my life anew... i got a nice little post about me... heh heh, those of us lucky enough to make it can be seen here. to find mine simply look for the inner voices post... but damn, do I have to be k-fed? vanilla ice maybe, marky mark or fucking bobby brown would have been better... but k-fed, hahahahaha. what ever fits i guess.

so now that's all behind me i can start my weekend. been on the wagon for two days now, (we'll see how that goes for the weekend.) but if anybody wants to come up the mountain to persuade me to walk next to the wagon for a few beers, i might climb down.

so what the fuck else is new? my buddy just rolled up in his monster truck wanting me to help him by doing an alignment on his rig. this poor sap is getting divorced from his ex and has just found out she might be pregnant with one of her new lovers. HOLY SHIT! she was pregnant with her first kid at 17 and again with next one at 19. she beat the living snot of of her husband for years... now she hanging out with the local drug dealers and might be pregnant? (shes a candidate for a long walk off a short cliff if you ask me...)go ahead, ask me!

what else should i blab on about. something crass? perhaps something evil? how about something dirty? hmmm....

I'm going to spend part of the weekend cutting down trees behind my house for fire wood. i know its a little late for that but I've been lazy and it was a bit of an issue a few weeks ago. but it could get bloody. see I'm not too savvy with the chain saw. I'll admit it. I'd like to think i am! but it might be a gruesome endeavor. seeing as how I'm hoping to take the weekend off from drinking it might be a good idea to use the limb cutting instrument. (tree limb, not arms and legs.)

i heard my neighbor culling some chickens yesterday so maybe he will call us up for a BBQ this weekend, anybody else doing something interesting? give us a buzz. we don't have the girls this weekend so we could come out for some adult fun!!! or come on over and get nekid in our new pool! ha!

oh and special cheese is attempting the challenge as well. as a guest post! any of you non-blogging bitches wanna guest post? i know you are out there stalking me, you there from the pizzle, wanna give it a go? i dare you to come up with 101 fucking things to write about yourself! I'll give you the pass word for the day!!! (although i think cheese might want to edit her list a little, it's the WORLD WIDE WEB... you never know what kind of perverts are out here.)

actually i do! its been a while since I've disclosed the people who have come on to my site erroneously... fucking sickos... if i post their I.P. addresses would anybody know what to do with them? lemme know I'll exploit the guy in France looking for the "The kiddie porn princesses" (how the hell did he get here?) or the guy in Portugal looking for foot fetish ideas... that's not too bad but he spent over an hour looking through my archives... wicked thought,eewww.. of some dude rubbing his feet on god knows what, while reading about my daily life... want more? i'll give it to you...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

good news...

oh i forgot! last weekend we went to the neighbors house for a bbq. my landlord and his wife were there. (this was the first time meeting her.)anyway she says to me after a conversation about my water woes...

"fuck him, its your water. turn him off if you want to. he never talked to me about it!"

sounds like the husband never talked to her about it either!!!

"really i can do that? I'm sick of that guy and if i have to deal with him again it's not going to be pretty..."

"yeah do what ever you want, you pay for it. you don't have to give him shit..."

"wow, thanks. i don't want to stir anything up. I'm just sick of his attitude."

so folks, hopefully you wont have to hear me bitching about this dude or that issue again. just one more story when i cut up this fuckers pipe and leave it strewn along his driveway.

and i haven't forgotten about that Blair witch suggestion either!


catching up on blogs this morning i went here first. caught up and then perused the link section and ended up here. good reading and witty commenters as well. from there i went to this blog. at first i was finding it hard to believe it was a women, or a college girl. i read it for a while and needed to get back to work. i haven't checked on any of her links but i bet they go downhill from there. okay i did look at a couple and the ones i looked at seemed more porn advertising than blogging. so check em or not that's what i did while looking up information on compact telescoping handlers.

its almost Friday and i think i want to take tomorrow off. id like to take denims advice from the comment in the post before this and fucking take my vacation already...

yeah this post sucks, i'm actually doing work this morning. but if your interested in restaurant shit click the first link, if your interested in bar stuff and girlspeak click on the second link and finally if you like reading about sex than click on the third link. and go from there, there is a lot of reading to be done if you have time to waste. oh and if your like me and have fun shopping for heavy equipment click on the last link! have a nice fucking day and enjoy yourselves.. heh heh.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

damn you knudsen.... here are the 101 zack facks

i wrote this in response to knudsens open challenge. he dared me to do it... NOW I DARE YOU TO DO IT!

1.i was born in concord, massachucetts. there was a jail near by, i think that had something to do with the fact that i was born in that town. mother was deported when i was five years old. (she always suspected that it was my fathers next wife. he swears its not true.)
3.i am the first born in this country of my entire family. shit thats not true, or is it? my uncle might be first, he would have been born in missouri... yeah i think he might be first. well this is the first lie in my 101 facts about myself.
4.i'm getting paid while writing this, i'm at work.
5.i'm known to be a bit of a drinker. although today, special cheese and i decided to dry up for a week.
6.i love fishing!
7.i am a mechanic, not that it defines who i am really but ive been taking shit apart and putting it back together for as long as i can remember.
8.i am the king of the castle! (as long as no one else is at home...)
9.when i was a kid my babysitters use to practice kissing on/with me. or at least i used to make out with most of my baby sitters. depends on how you look at it. i got a lot of action.
10.i spent most of my youth grounded it seems. i was once grounded for an entire summer. i have copied quite a bit of the dictionary and lots of chapters in encyclopdias. yeah, i pretty much hate writing neatly by hand.
11. im a great whistler. i know, i know you are completely amazed. its a fun thing for me when im in a public restroom to to whistle "strangers in the night". it gets some good reactions. one of those people who farts when ever i feel like it. even in bed.
13.i put three scoops of sugar in one cup of coffee. candy bar in a cup. after two cups of coffee in the morning im usually fucking wired.
14.i metebolize novacain almost instantly. the dentist is a painfull place for me.
15.i like to watch womens tennis on t.v. i think i used to watch it as a kid and enjoyed the little noises they made.
16.okay, i'm a bit of a pervert as well. see #15.
17.i go commando. i dont even own any underwear.
18.i drive a toyota pick up. but i'd rather drive a hummer.
19.i spend money i dont have.
20.i am a huge tipper.on service not principal. special cheese says its a sign that i have class. she could be right!
21.i've had a broken windshield in my truck for about four years now.
22.i've done more drugs than i can remember.
23.really i'm an eleven year old girl pretending to be a grouchy old man. hah, fooled all of you with that one didn't i?
24.i wear skateboarding sneakers to work. it pisses everyone off that i dont wear boots and pants. i usually wear shorts and a t-shirt. in the winter i put a jacket on.
25.i have more clothes than my girlfriend.
26.once when i was blind drunk, i vaugly remember pissing all over my buddies kitchen. all over everything. even in the fridge. the only reason i think i did such a thing is that i have this memory of me laughing hysterically while pissing all over the place. i woke up the next moring naked on the deck outside, the kitchen looked awfull damp to me.
27.another time i pee'd in the corner of my own room. i couldn't find the bedroom door in the dark and ended up doing it there. better than doing it in bed right? i was quite drunk on that night as well.
28.people think i'm feverishly writing a letter to the people who fucked us over on the engine deal. i wonder when i'll write that.
29.most of my ex-girlfriends have cheated on me. whats with you bitches anyway?
30.i cause problems in my relationships that dont need to be there. i wonder if that has anything to do with #29.
31.i really would like to know how it feels to kick a small dog as hard as i could. you know the yappy, barky ones...
32.i used to drink at work. everyone else did too, but i was part of it.
33.i need a fucking vacation! i'm going mad here. see, doing this shit at work and not feeling bad about fucking off is a good sign that i need some time off. refocus, refresh...
34.this sucks, i agree with manuel. i'm going to lose my mind!
35.i used to scuba dive alot. now i cant stand going in the ocean. i know whats down there... you wont ever catch me dressing up like a seal and splashing about like i'm injured any more.
36.i'm an asshole to almost with it.
37.i used to get beat up alot when i was a kid. i had a big mouth, can you believe that?
38.i got stabbed in the face once.well twice, both at the same time. some dude wanted my leather jacket. it wasn't mine, it was my friends, he was standing next to me... he ran away when the guy broke out his knife... i should of just gave him the fucking jacket.
39.i once had my arm broken. there was a big guy who was trying to take off my head with an aluminum crutch. i blocked with my arm and it folded it over in half. it was gross. and hurt alot! on the way to the hospital my father made me empty out my pockets. ooopss. i remember saying "um, all that stuff isn't mine." i think it was drugs or something..
49.i used to run away alot.
50.if i saw me evil ex-step mother today id probably look for an aluminum crutch to use. fucking bitch. (as you can tell i have no resentment torwards her any more.)
51.i have a brother and a sister. i have only met them once or twice. it doesn't bother me much any more. i really don't care to know them. i'll probably regret that attitude later in life when i need a kidney or something, but for now fuck-em. mother commited suicide. how do you like me now? even my own mother couldn't handle me. i met her when i was thirteen.
53.i've been sky diving twice. i liked the free fall the best. didn't bother me one bit. it was having to trust the gear that made me nervous. the second time i went the guy i was jumping with/attached to, was hung over as shit and had crashed his motorcycle that night. he had a broken rib. WTF?
54.for a month when i was a kid i had to pick up trash at the dump. part of my probation for breaking in the school and stealing shit. who the hell picks up trash at the dump? it's the fucking dump!
55.i think my girlfriends kids listen to us, ahem. its weird. i know i listened to my folks. thats weird too. did i mention i'm a pervert?
56.i hate earwigs. did you ever see the star trek movie where they dump some kind of alien earwig into the guys ear and he goes mad? yeah i hate earwigs.
57.i hate you knudesen and your damn challenge!! ha ha ha.
58.when i was in bali, i ate dog. probably some cat too. but the dog tasted good.
59.i got stopped in the canadian airport once for suspision of drug trafficing. we had been at a party the night before and were doing coke out of my passport. (what a jack ass!) they said that there was so much cocaine in my passport that the had to reset their machine three times! they asked some questions, let us go and never even looked in our suit cases.
60.i quit using hard core drugs over a year ago. never looked back and don't regret leaving them all behind.
61.i can tell you exactly how to make some of the best crack on the planet on the other hand. fucking amatures piping up bleach and shit. if you are going to do crack, at least do it right.
62.i smoke way too much.
63.i buy naked pictures of women. not raunchy ones or fucked up porn shit but nice naked pics. like from this guy, or this guy. thirty three fucking years old!
65.i would sooner bring my own beer to a party than drink most of the crap that might be there. i don't care if its rude or not. that just how i roll.
66.i have tattoos all over the top half of my body, my back is completly covered. bet nobody knew that, huh.
67.i want to give myself a mohawk, but i worry that my head is too lumpy for it to look good. wait, i'm worried about my mohawk looking bad cause of a lumpy head? umm, is there a good looking mohawk?
68.i really need to be getting to work... this is ridiculous.
69. heh heh, yeah its my lucky number. it part of my ATM code, my email, used to be my phone number as well. see #16
70.the sound of music is my all time favorite movie. i could watch it everyday.
71.i don't write properly, capitals, spelling, grammer....all that shit is beneath me.
72.helping special cheese raise her two girls scares the fucking crap out of me sometimes. i hope i don't fuck them up. i don't know what the hell i'm doing. is there a good book on how not to fuck up children that arent yours but sort of belong to you two weeks a month?
73.i'm going to have top sirloin steak for lunch. and ramen cup-o-noodles. and a coke. yep, nutrishious isn't it. what the fuck are you going to eat for lunch, i bet it won't be top sirloin steak. i bet it wont be cold and overcooked like mine either. so there.
74.i like to steal shit even though i dont need to. sometimes i'll just put on a hat or sweatshirt in a store. pay for some other items and see if they notice that i'm wearing a shirt with a tag on it while i pay. i'm wearing stolen merchendise as i write this..
75.i'm sick of other people cleaning up my shop, don't touch my shit.
76.i haven't had solid shit in years, well the last time i was in mexico it was solid, but not since. which seems backwards to most but the first time i was in mexico i caught a bug, a bad one. haven't been the same since. i think the bug enjoyed returning to mexico and gave me a two week break.
77. i tend to give people more information than the need. see#76
78.i think this woman is a crack up. her humor is right on point. some of you disagree? tell her about it and see where it gets you. i don't always agree with her and what she writes but thats my life not hers...
79.i'm getting closer to 101 and hating this more and more by the minute, but i will not be beaten by the challenge. damn you.
80.i charge one samwhich and one twelve pack of beer to work on my friends cars. so you know when i do that, your my friend. if its anything else, i'm just telling you that you are my friend and basically feel bad for you. sometimes i'll take cookies in lieu of a samwhich. or a blow job. (from that special someone)
81.i love blow jobs! its a nice treat to get one. and especially when i'm driving. so all of you out there, when you see me driving i might be having a special treat! hahahahahahhahahaha... (probably not going to get one for a while after posting this but, oh well.)
82.are you getting tired of reading this shit? too bad! if i can do it you can do it too!
83.i like vannilla ice cream. that pretty much the only one i like. after the coffee in the morning i don't need any more sugar. i dont like sweets or chocolate. but vannilla ice cream is tits!
84.there are certain people that my company deals with that i'm not allowed to interact with. and if i do happen to get stuck in a situation where i am in contact with said persons, i have sworn to keep my mouth shut and walk away. i guess i am a bit abrasive and have been known to be confrontational.
85.i would rather dive off a cliff than jump off of one. something about smacking "the boys" into water doesn't do it for me.
86.after ten thousand miles on my new tires, i need new tires. does anyone else have this problem. my truck is five years old and ive been through six sets of tires.
87.i'm half german and half canadian.
88.i'm bossy... deal with it.
89.ive been across the country on the grey hound five times, once was through canada. i'll never ride grey hound again. thanks but no thanks.
90.i got lost in the chicago ohare airport as a young child. this was back when you could pop your kids on a plane by themselves and no one really said shit about it. i guess i had gotton off the plane and found the executive lounge. several hours later my father had flown to chicago and searched the entire airport and found me there, watching t.v.
91.i hate and love t.v. all in the same moment. i don't have it at my house, cause everything on it is shit. its so a part of our culture that we can't exsist with out it. its maddening. but pop me in front of the tube and you will have to pry the remote from my hands amd rip me off the seat.
92. i hardly exsist on this planet. my cell phone is in some one elses name, i have no other bills in my name and my taxes go to an imaginary address that goes to a p.o. box that has my name missspelled. my bank accout has a different s.s.n. then my real one and all this subterfuse for what? i dunno.
93.i found the secret stash of porn in the shop. we have three guys living here in the yard as security. there were three different caches of porn. i figure each guy had his own stash spot. so i swapped them all around.
94.i don't eat breakfast much, at least not at work. and when i do on weekends its more like brunch. with a beer.
95.we have a woman here who had a baby. so now my office is a darecare three to four days a week. women cooing and baby talk and diapers all god damn day. hardly a manly area any more.
96.i once stuck a big bag of dog shit under a wall mounted wood burning stove in a house that i was getting booted out of.
97.i made up a bunch of "i love cock" bumperstickers. i put them on peoples cars in the state park. some people didn't think they were very funny. they must love cock.
98.i really, really, really love my girlfriend. i hope she doesn't think i'm too much of an asshole. at least not all the time anyway. sometimes would be okay with me. but not all the time. i must have some redeaming qualities.
99.i never used to be afraid of dieing, now i'm not so sure. i even started wearing a seat belt. what changed?
100.i don't like heights and fucking hate roller coasters. sorry i dont like any of that shit. i dont mind doing a hundred and forty on a mortorcycle or driving with drunk people with the lights off in the dark, but roller coasters can kiss my ass.
101.i sneak up to my dogs when they are asleep and scare the living crap out of them. i used to do it to my cat as well but dogs are more funny to watch wake up. they freak out and kibby around, it amuses me.

Monday, August 13, 2007

still working...

yes working away as usual. I'm fucking over it. i thought i might take a vacation after getting this truck finished, but it never seems to end. now i have to bring over to get painted, then to the mobile mechanic to work the bugs out of the governor. no, i don't know how to do everything and admittedly so, i found someone who does... I'm not embarrassed. I'm relieved... if someone can make the truck run better than me than I'm stoked! more power to him!!!

and now that I'm over the hump of that project, all the other projects are cascading down upon me. swamped, I'm asking for helpers everyday, "give me another guy! some one who can change oil. no not him, why? because we are changing the oil in your truck today... ohh okay i can have whoever i want then? perfect..."

i got to get back to it. enjoy the week. and I'm still working on the Knudsen challenge. its hard to come up with one hundred and one things about yourself. even if you make some of them up!!!

Friday, August 10, 2007


im in the process of taking the knudsen challenge... so give me a minute and i'll post something... till then enjoy the link!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


yeah, yeah... i know you all have been checking in and i haven't said shit in days.... just like everyone else who posts and has people read, i feel bad... but I'm fucking busy... birthday parties galore... went fishing.(notice how i said went fishing, not, went catching fish.) yes, yes other people went catching fish. and my good buddy caught lots of fish. and likes to gloat about it. a lot... i don't really care too much.. who the hell wants to clean eight small fish? id rather clean just one BIG fish... AND we went to his personal fishing spot, where he used his custom rig and it was very impressive. but trust me... i know fishing as well as you do and have probably caught just as big of fish as you have.. so nah nah nah...

anyway i was bitching about being really busy. i finally got the engine into the truck and running!! no shit, scared the crap out of us.. i primed the fuel line and said, "yeah try it! i think its ready..." there was no usual farting and smoking. no turning over and over or problems.. just like it had been in there all the time, vrooom, purrrr.... (if you could imagine a four hundred horse powered supercharged turbo diesel purring...)

well i have had to work a couple of bugs but that is to be expected. but we took it for a test drive twenty minutes after firing it up! not bad.

what else you ask? that's not enough.. well i had to work out a couple of bugs with special cheese too this week. you know the usual relationship stuff, but that is also to be expected from time to time...

the kid whose motorcycle I've been borrowing for the last six years thinks he wants it back now... hmmm.. when i say kid i mean hes like twenty five years old.. but he pretty much moved from one tit to the other... from his mommies house to his girlfriends house... and guess how i know that he wants it back! his fucking mommy called me. he called first and left some convoluted message on my machine about wanting to chat and catch up.(i know what the fuck he wants, we don't talk. the last time he called to get his motorcycle back i told him no. he was living downtown San Francisco and wanted it to putt around on... its a fucking dirt bike! a very small one at that... not for driving around downtown San Fran!) but he had his mommy call me and leave me a message about how he has a job now! and how he is living on some dirt road somewhere and needs it to save gas?!?! yeah, i buy that.. but its his and since his mother went through all the trouble to call me and give me all seven numbers for me to return their calls to, i might call them back next week. not that i want to keep it for my self(that was not our deal) but they might need some more time to think about it...

i need a vacation.

school starts for the girls soon and we haven't even been to the lake. WTF? but the main man here said i could borrow his boat and truck someday, so I'm going to call him on it. my boat needs some work and i just cant seem to channel the money over to that budget right now... I'm sure you all can understand that one. how many of you can throw about eight hundred bucks at your water craft right now? i thought so...

my back hurts more and more lately. I've been sneaking in some ibuprofen lately. i hate taking that shit. 1) because I'm a bit of a heavy drinker and you aren't supposed to be taking that shit when you drink alot.2)it relieves pain that is supposed to keep me from hurting myself even more.3) i don't like pills that don't send me to another world. not that i take those pills any more... i just don't like taking them.

well i have got to get some work done this morning... i just got a call from the fire brigade, they "rewired" the truck i fixed for them last week and now it doesn't start again... huh?

"you did what" i ask.

"well the engine driver thought what you did wasn't like it was before so he rewired it." was her response.

"so now it doesn't run, like before.correct?"

"umm, yeah he says the wires get all hot and now the inverter doesn't work." she says.

"so not only doesn't it work, but its worse!?!"

"yes, he thinks it might have something to do with the way YOU wired it." she sheepishly tells me.

"oh, okay, is he there?

long pause... "yes..."

"tell him to run, hide if he would like,because if i see him there I'm going to rewire him! thanks I'll be there shortly..."

Thursday, August 02, 2007


HAVE I POSTED THIS PICTURE BEFORE? well it has new meaning... I'm sick of the fucking neighbors. quit taking my water you jackass, quit calling me on the phone to tell me how you've fixed the system. it wouldn't be fucking up if you would just leave it the hell alone...
now our other neighbors are feuding... and i like them! but the people on the other side of them get wasted and beat the crap out of each other... i guess she is into all kinds of drugs and he likes to beat her for them, so the sheriffs are called and are driving all around long ridge looking for the "spousal abuser". they end up at my neighbors... ooohhh... i wouldn't want the fucking sheriffs knocking on my door looking for directions!
then the following day in the sheriffs log, it says resident complain that 8,000 gallons of water was maliciously drained... hmmm.. whats happening there? more sheriffs driving around looking for direction. on a locked private road...
the next day we cruise up to chat with our friendly next door people to see if they might know something and no one is home... and they have an 8,000 gallon water tank... no shit, it's empty... oh boy! so these are the days of our lives... i feel bad for them. no one likes to sit out on their front patio and listen to the neighbors beat the snot out of each other for who gets to hit the pipe last?!?!?
and who wants to live next to the people that feel slighted by you giving the cops directions to your house too? lame...
stay the fuck away from me and I'll stay the fuck away from you... i shoot guns at our house on occasion... just like all my other neighbors... hopefully this keeps the idiots out. at least until someone calls the sheriffs on me...
the other people on our proverbial block, are pouring concrete these next two weeks. to build their illegal house. so that means a steady troop of workers driving up my road seven days a week at six thirty in the morning... thank you for your leaf blower at seven a.m. this weekend. i really didn't want to sleep in on my one day off. and you neighbor at the bottom of the hill, with your combination generator, leaf blower action even earlier in the morning last week! i love you too!!!
what is with these people... i cant wait to set up my clay pigeon slinger soon. and just at about sunrise, I'm gonna start blasting the twelve gauge out into the canyon... good morning neighbors!!! i fucking live here too!!! just wanted to let you know that!!! good morning!!!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

head ache.

that's all i have to say about that.

there was a rollover last night up on Pfeiffer ridge. a local, coming home from one of his art shows. too much champagne. when it hit the bottom, it burst into flames. he got out and walked home. smart/stupid. at least let someone know your truck is on fire in the canyon asshole...

anyway, "buddy neighbor friend" drove to the fire station to grab a water tender to help put out the fire and the new one that was donated to the fire brigade wouldn't start. so he jumps in the smaller one that they had been working on and the pump wont start...

sweeet, our first line of defense against structure fire and none of it works... so I'm going to spend some time today trying to figure out what the "volunteers" have been fixing on the fire engines...

I'll rant a minute here folks... WTF are you doing working on a fire engine?!?! you are a cook at a hotel, a jr.mason or a god damn carpenter! so don't fucking pop the hood and tinker with shit. i don't care if you and your dad used to bond while under the hood of his piece of shit mustang... these are not toys for your nostalgia moments... its a piece of fire fighting equipment...
would you want some secretary in a floral shop changing the oil in your forty thousand work truck? no? you ass wiper, you wouldn't would ja? so what qualifies you and your seven years of experience working a grill in a shit restaurant as a mechanic...
if my house was burning down and no one could come to save it because the fire truck wouldn't start and you were fixing it earlier that day, i would fucking go mental! i would tie you down to your toilet seat, head first... get the picture? no? i would drown you in your own shit!

lucky for the people in that canyon/ridge, a very wealthy resident here in big sur, paid for a rental water tender to sit at that station. as a back up for this summers drought. just in case there was any problems with the ones we have now...
hmmm... perhaps he saw who was volunteering their time and wrenching on it and said to himself... "WTF? I'm going get me my own fire engine and have it sitting here... who the fuck is this guy? that truck isn't going anywhere after he works on it!"

so I'll leave you all with this thought... if it ain't broke, don't fix it. and if it is broke don't call gardener to repair your fire truck... aaarrrgggg... call a mechanic!