Wednesday, October 31, 2007



Tuesday, October 30, 2007


i found knudsens brother!!!

got a three hour or so massage yesterday... awesome! deep tissue, some Thai stretching and she threw in a little lymph pressure draining. just to make sure i was going to be a complete pile of worthless poo today. i feel like I've been beaten up, then thrown into an industrial dryer for good measure. and things are loosening up so much that every move i make, bones are popping and things are moving around. i should be lying in a hot tub in the snow somewhere so i can jump in and out of the heat.
yeah poor me! i know you all are just wishing me the best, and wondering how i could have endured such torture... oh the misery...
other news? none. i should be working, but I'm not. I've read the two papers, perused on-line news and checked a Cabelas catalog for stuff i cant afford.

but I've tried to catch up on all my awesome commenter's and do some scheduling for the rest of the week.

tonight: Halloween party at cheeses work.

tomorrow: hungover from cheeses work party, go to Halloween party at nepenthe and boogie down.

Thursday: hungover from nepenthe, go to farmers house for some beer and food.

Friday: hung over from farmers house, go home and get ready for wedding. very formal.

Saturday: wedding for buddy in town, reception somewhere else, get drunk, make ass out of self.

Sunday:hung over from wedding and body is breaking down. sleep and maybe some mimosas in the morning.

its a work in progress. speaking of work, i should put that in my list somewhere. no?

Saturday, October 27, 2007


here is something that just rocked my evening. i'll try and set it up quickly, since its a sleep over night and we are trying to put the girls down shortly. and i'll try and brain wave the rest of the story to you all using e.s.p. so we voluteered at a local comunity event today, after party at one of the event coordinaters house/my pseudo family and after dinner, drinks, croatian wine, a bottle of champagne and a trip to the general store for more beer and dessert, we decided to leave. one sober driver, with the girls in one car and me in the other truck. say our good byes and fire up the truck, turn on the scanner and it instantly lites up...

"i'm letting two cars through, clear?"
"go ahead, i have one waiting..."
"fire is in rout and CHP is standing by."
"copy, sending cars through, last is a gold taurus..."

i flash my lights at cheese, but she is already gone. i dont want to hammer down the highway, my scanner only goes two miles and it doesnt sound like a check point. more like an accident. my fuel light is on and i pull over at the last gas and insert the card. cheese pulls up from the opposite direction and says:

"there is an accident ahead, i dont want to go first."
"i know, i heard it on the scanner."

i pump gas and we head north. four door volvo and a green mustang. i know both these cars. the last one is also someone i know, but he is parked on the side, looks like he saw what happened and is doing the witness thing. the one car involved makes my skin crawl, i turn cold and pull over just out of sight of the accident. cheese pulls up behind me.

"did you see those cars? the mustang looks like denims!?!"
"i didn't get a good look, what do you want to do? do you want to try and call him?"
"lemme get around the corner, i'll try him."
"let me know!"

in big sur we don't get a lot of cell phone reception, but as a "local" we know where it comes in and out. i call. ring, ring, ring, ring, machine... i call again, ring, ring, ring, ring, machine. i leave a convoluted message. and say to my self, fuck. dude, dont fuck with me.... hoping i think...get off your girlfriend and answer the fucking phone!!! i call again, ring, ring, beep beep... (i recieve a text message...)

"at a show."

fuck yah! i get a sweat and pump my fist into the steering wheel! call cheese give her the news and do the speed limit home.

here is the problem with all of this. had it been my brotherly friend, i would not have been able to pull over and help, i could not have turned around and made a bit of difference in the seemingly morbid situation. fact of the matter is, (if anyone was paying attention to the begining of the post, we'd been drinking all afternoon, well i had been.) perfectly able to rescue a drowning man from a raging river, able to leap small buildings in a single bound, but talk to a cop without blowing a .12? forget it!
what scared me most was that if it had been my buddy (yah you fuck!) i could not have pulled over for you. i could not have done a god damn thing for you right then, there or that minute.

wanna know what fear is for me? being helpless in a situation. im sorry.. i feel this way often...

Friday, October 26, 2007



just a quick one since I'm surrounded by ignorance and people who cant seem to understand the chosen language of the nation. most of management has the day off today, one has an anniversary, one is building trophies for a local charity event and the other is picking up all the slack. people get directed to jobs and are sent out to do these jobs every morning. they are expected to bring the proper tools and supplies. this has been happening for as long as there have been jobs for people on this planet. don't bring a can of gas to a fire, bring some water?!?!
so this morning i get a call on the radio from one of our up and coming plumber types.

"uh halo, uh de pipes es leaking."

"hello? who is this? what do you need?

"yeah es miguel, pipas problemas. pipe wrench?"

"hi miguel, you need a pipe wrench?"

"e yes."

"what do you want me to do about it?"

"tank you."


"yes, tank you."

"what, hey wait a minute, I'm not bringing you a pipe wrench. you need to come and get it yourself."


"you need to get your own pipe wrench! i do not deliver pipe wrenches to job sites, you should have brought the tools to the job. if you are pluming today, you will need pipe wrenches."

"uhh, es mike dere."

"hes in a meeting."

"yes, we need pipe wrenches, de pipes are leaking."

"what do you want me to do about it?"



"uh, what?"

"if. you. need. a. pipe. wrench. you. need. to. come. back. to. the. yard. and. get. one."


twenty minutes later...

"uh, mike..."

"mike is in a meeting, wassup?"

"uh, de pipes es leaking, pipe wrenches?"

I'm really excited to be talking with this particular individual at this point! but, i bust out my best attempt at Spanish, calmly try and tell him in three different ways that there is nobody here to bring him tools that he will need to do his job. that indeed it is his job to return to the yard and get his own tools and he needs to it fast, if there is water leaking, it doesn't sound good.

"oh, okay." he says finally.

"uh, okay, tank you too." i reply.

"uh what?"

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Yeah, i wanted to change it up a little. I'm getting a little more savvy with the blogger shit. hope you like it, lemme know what you think and if you dont like it i will let you know that you are number one! busy day here at the office and need to be working outside. taking Monday off, I'm getting some back work done. maybe I'll be able to sit up straight? have sex for more than five minutes with out laying on my back? walk a straight line? (yeah right.) I'll be back tomorrow!

an answer to a comment turned into a post.

don't get me wrong, I'm not saying my heart is totally cold. i have friends who are affected by this fire. grandparents who have lost their home, sisters who have been evacuated and have not been able to return to their homes yet. and another friend whose job and school have been closed down. hard to pay the fucking rent when they closed your place of work!
but there is always that other side of the coin. why live in a trailer in the Midwest when you know bush has his finger on the natural disaster button, ready to push it when ever he is bored and fox news needs some money? why live in Florida when you know any minute the next hurricane is coming through to peel off your roofs and suck your most precious fluffy out the window! California earthquakes? need i say more about that? um what about New Orleans? does the smell of piss and vomit really sound that appealing to people, enough to make them want to live there? oh and not to mention its sits below sea level! from coast to coast we live in these micro climates from hell, and why are we so fucking surprised when this shit goes down. its not catastrophic, it's nature you doorknobs. its going to burn, shake, blow, flood, rain and bake no matter what we do... so quit bitching and start saying:

"well, that's life. i guess i should deal with it."

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


YEAH, ANOTHER PERSON TO INFECT WITH VOICES IN THEIR HEAD!!! just kidding, you all might have seen her in knudsens nation listings or perused her through some other source, but I'll introduce her here to you all now. this is first nations. well sort of...

and you can read about her here. you will have to find out more about her on your own or even invite her over to your place... I'm fuckin thirsty and a buddy just called and said come over for some beers. so I'm gonna cut this shrt, (ha ha, get it? supposed to be short, but i wrote shrt.. ha ha funny me.)

but here are a few things you wont find on her website, she blogs with a pc and has windows xp, the browser currently on her computer is firefox 2.0. she runs her Internet through and they beam into me from oak harbor, Washington. her screen resolution is 1024x768 and her javascript is enabled.

what all that information does for i couldn't tell you, but I'm heading out to catch a buzz. and remember tomorrow is only a day away.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


yep, so some pretty big fucking fires raging down there in southern California, eh. i think its really too bad when people work hard and build their millions dollar mansions and then they are evacuated! i mean why make them rich fuckers leave. let em stay. err... burn.
police are having to arrest people who are refusing to leave. and then the people "smart" enough to fool the cops into thinking that they were gone are calling 911 for help... which is pulling the resources away from fighting the fire. to rescue people who didn't want to leave their homes when they were told.
let'em fucking burn. you made the pile of shit your in, now smell it. don't get me wrong, when we had the fire in our canyon, the first thing i did was to hammer up the road to make sure that i was going to be on the other side of the heat. on my homes side, so i could do the things that may needed to have been done. dogs, chickens, photos, my moms ashes, all the cash i have buried in the back yard!!! (ha!) on that side of the fire, had it jumped the road, there really wouldn't have been any way out. hike down the creek bed would have been my big plan, only seven miles through dense forests and heavy brush. but i wouldn't have been standing in my living room with my kitchen on fire calling 911 saying "please oh, please come help me and my precious kitty, Princess Puss Puss. i don't want to die!!"
burn bitch.
so they are not really saying too much on how these fires started. one i guess was an electrical fire and the rest "are still under investigation". bull shit, its arson, and probably more then one deranged fucker too. I'll bet there was one or more, than even a copycat as well. twisted fuckers are rubbing one out on the BBQ at home just thinking about how cool he is. he'll get caught, he'll mouth off about it to someone soon. i hope so. good luck to those people losing their homes and may your new life bring you something better. at least an better appreciation for what you have left, if nothing else.

today? some tastless jokes.

Monday, October 22, 2007

start a new one.

this guys shit is fucking great!!! yeah i was perving out during lunch. what? you cant read Russian. ( i think that's what it is.) one thing i noticed is that they are all tiny women. not to many real sized women there, but hes got some good models.

this guy is more glam nude photo savvy. playboy type stuff, not edgy or artsy. but i thought well of his work.

and i could give you a list of a bunch more that i checked out but then you would start wondering what i really do at work all day. and sorry ladies, i don't have any pointers or know of any artists that do more men stuff.

i lied, go here and this blogger posts a new artist every day and has many, many links to photographers on the web. could be interesting to you. i dunno. well it was quite a weekend. I'll give you a quick rundown.

left work Friday, went home, went for a hike, drank beer, watched movie and passed out. woke up Saturday, drank coffee, played a video game, went to a costume party in cachagua (camos and guns and shit.), ate food, drank beer, drove home and passed out.woke up Sunday morning, ate breakfast, went to the Halloween store, went clothes shopping with the ladies, ate junk food, went to a music festival, drank beer, listened to music, drank beer, smoked some pot, listened to more music, went grocery shopping at night wearing a Santa hat, drove home, watched a movie and passed the fuck out.

so all in all, i didn't do too much or get much done this weekend. how about you? can you tell us what you did this weekend in three sentences or less?


man, lately its been death and destruction all around. people in the fucking hospital, people getting kancer, people being treated for kancer and people fucking dying... WTF? can we get a little reprieve from all this shit?

here i spend my weekend celebrating a birthday, going to the second day of a music festival and pretty much enjoying myself. come back to work (with a mild hangover) and its right back into the shit.

the office manager is at the hospital with her husband who has been in an induced coma to help treat his infections and pain, come to find out they want her to choose if they unplug him or not. so we called their daughter and bought her a plane ticket on the next flight up. well she goes to San Diego state and is in one of the neighborhoods not yet affected by the fire, but what a time to come home. this is the week after they just went to her grandfathers funeral. yeah fuck.

Sushi found out some not nice news.

Kay is dealing with her shit storm as well.

and other crap is happening that is fucking stressing me out as well. better not to talk about that stuff here.

its hard to have a light hearted post of the day with all this. maybe I'll start another.

Friday, October 19, 2007


its that time again, yep time to reveal how some of you pervs and the rest of you people found me here at the voices. here we go:

buddy in Quebec googled "A safe Kilmister". not quite sure what they were looking for on that one, but good luck to you, eh.

some one in Chicago dogpiled "today is earthquake weather" and spent over an hour reading through archives and the like. It's when it is hot and humid, the air is still and the animals are easy to spook. duh...

Huntington beach yahoood "cdf dozer rollover". hey if you are still reading and want to know more, hit me up. i saw them truck it out of there early this week. (there seems to be a lot of information and online support when yahooing this as well.)

and you there in Tehran, Iran; i feel your pain man.. when you found me by Googling "those damn amature pictures". i know what your thinking. probably found some good online porn at some point, didn't save the link or keep it in your history. after an agonizingly painful search for them again you simply typed in "those damn amature pictures", hoping they would magically appear. good luck to you in all your searches. fucking pervert.

and finally you there in Massachusetts, man or woman, boy or girl, whoever you are. while searching for "blow jobs 101" on the AOL engine, you came across the voices, (and i really hope you didn't cum across my site...) and all it has to offer. i can only imagine what type of information you were hoping to glean from here as you spent nearly twenty minutes perusing the archives. if yer looking for some technique ideas, get an adult film. if you are trying to show your other how its done, get an adult film. if you have no ideas at all of what the fuck a blowjob is, borrow your dads adult movie (located under the bed) and practice on your moms dildo (top left hand dresser drawer, behind the panties and probably rolled up in something soft.) but don't type "blow jobs 101" and hope to get too much information here. please. the only thing you will find here even remotely close to that is, me telling you to, Go. Fuck. Your. Self!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

another fucked up day...

some fucking humour...
well its been a crazy day here in office land. the computer tech just crashed our network! buuwaaahahahahaa... and its payday! hahahaha!!! snort. hahahahah!!! funny how the office is all abuzz about the network server being down and how fucked this is and "how in the hell does it need a new hard drive?" and "this is so unacceptable!" and its payday! so when he said "you might have to it by hand..." the office erupted in "he better fix it" and "what is this guy doing?" and my personal fav "does this guy really know what hes doing?"
it fucking kills me, I'm laughing so hard right now... on the inside.
that and coupled with the fact that our office manager just got back from a funeral late last night only to rush her recently released husband back to the emergency room at four o'clock this morning to put him on life support? wtf? yeah pretty bummer day so far in the office.
I'm getting sick. dayquill in the morning and ibuprofen at night. feel like crap all day, doesn't help that i was being irrational and selfish with cheese last night. so much work to do here and im not motivated at all to do any of that shit.
so, boo hoo for me. anybody want to join my pity party? c'mon it'll be fun! we can all sit around and say "whoa is me", "nobody loves me" or the old time "I'm gonna go eat worms..." no takers eh?
I'm ready for the fucking weekend.
hey cheese is on the phone!!! hi cheese!!!
so we are going to take a three day vacation next month. I'll have to come up with some fun, cheap, ideas for something to do. anyway hope all is well with peeps out here.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007



it seems the herald puts a little cookie on your computer when you log on and wont let you just view it directly when you go their site. you can get there without signing in by going here and then typing "fire leaves family homeless" in the search box. it has a picture of the woman and her two kids playing on a beach just north of here. any way yeah, i hate that shit.

Monday, October 15, 2007


so HERE is a link to the story i was talking about. this woman and her friend came by to try and get back up to her house. it was hard to tell her that they could not drive past us and wouldn't be let up the other way either. i did tell her though that i was not in charge and couldn't really stop her from going up. i also told them they could sneak by me and that i wouldn't be paying much attention to them if they decided to do that. if my house was on fire i don't know if i would listen to some dude standing at the bottom of my road saying no.

where the fuck has zack been?

seems like i haven't been here in years... fucking feels like it too. even now i need to leave my desk for a moment. i have to pee. long pause, much better, thank you... so "where the hell have you been?" you ask. Ive been here and there went up to Santa Cruz on Saturday, over to a Buddy's house for some bitchin beef roast and veggies. um sitting in my house in the pounding rain. not much else.

after the fire fiasco went down in our neighborhood, its all anybody seems to be talking about. where it might have started, how, who.... same old bullshit. the gossip whores around think it "musta been a meth lab". no i don't think so. marijuana, lots of it, meth labs? not so much. but anything to create some kind of drama. the woman who lost her trailer/home in the fire had two kids and lost everything. she is quoted as saying "i have a hard time feeling sorry for my self when that firefighter has died." damn, this woman has nothing now and folks here are labeling her a meth head cause she looks dirty and distraught... so soon the residents here forget that they too lived in a trailer at one point in their own lives, and probably with a member of their own family... shame on you dirty gossip whores.

our road is in pretty good shape for the bit of rain we got. cheese and i went out on Friday in the storm after work and cleared out trenches and drained out huge puddles that were forming. did that until after dark! it was fun. digging in the mud during the pouring rain. we've had a few days of sunshine and i think more rain is to come this week. doesn't bother me much but this early winter weather is really fucking with all the dope farmers.

I'll explain; about now is when people start to harvest the majority of their cash crops. some have had an early harvest, but most wait until the last full moon of the month.(the harvest moon) and so now is about the time to harvest and start drying these money making crops. people are beginning to build their "lean-tos and drying sheds... except that its been dumping rain. and damp and foggy and moist and not very windy. so what happens is all this weather is going to make everyones pot moldy. well for most of the bigger growers, they have to dry out in the back country. that means paking in propane heaters and all kinds of shit. (more fires anyone?) some people will bring their shit home and dry it inside. here is the problem with that if you live anywhere but, waythefuckoutthere. it stinks! ever run over a skunk? how about two dead skunks in the road? well, imagine hanging twenty to, i dunno, two hundred skunks(depending on how many plants you have) in your house out to, err dry and you might get the odoriferous picture. its really not that bad, but its damn close! so for those unlucky enough to have harvested early, sucks to be you and you should have waited a little bit longer!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha.....

i don't know why i thought that was funny. it just is... well kids its about fucking lunch time now and I'm hungry as fuck!! (how hungry is fuck anyway?) enjoy the week!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007



Wednesday, October 03, 2007


mobile phone
yeah with no computer that's "safe" to use at work it's been hard to blog. I'm now using the head bosses computer and it makes me nervous. i don't want to get blamed for breaking this computer. after voicing my anger with everyone here and taking my broken computer out of the office, our tech decided to do a little back stabbing.

"well it's all the Internet sites he visits." and
"there were programs on there that don't belong on there." and
"it's not anything that i did! he must have done something to crash it."

I'm starting to really hate this man. even as i type this, he is at his desk talking to a tech on the phone about a water filtration system he just installed on a job. hes complaining about there being faulty parts and he would like "new" ones express shipped. couldn't have been anything you did fucker!!!
anyway, ill leave this all behind me now.
like i said i have not been posting,(because you know why...) and as you also know posting on dial up is excruciating... so I'll try a small tidbit for you all now.
I'm getting fat. well I'm getting fatter, hows that? and winter is coming. hmm... not the time to be running around and getting all kinds of exercise is it now? here is my dilema. i like drinking beer when I'm conscious. id do it when I'm sleeping as well but id probably wet the bed. problem number two, i love good food, special cheese makes wicked good food and i can sometimes dazzle your palate as well. problem three, I'm a lazy fucker too... i know i work my ass off. i go non stop at home with projects and the like but don't really get my heart rate up often enough. and i lets recap, i drink, i eat rich foods, I'm lazy and i smoke. um, sounds like I'm fucked. winter is coming and soon i wont even be able to see what I'm holding onto when i pee...
just kidding. I'm not that fat. 5'11", 190 pounds and all sex machine... hahahahahaa.... but i am worried about it. need to start doing something about the budda belly though. i go through bouts of exercise. push ups, sit ups and all that crap. but not in a while. funny thing is, strap a back pack on me and I'll death march with the best of them just let me put on a knee brace and bring my flask of whiskey!

"five day trip through the wilderness? no fucking problem."
"get on a bike and ride to the bottom of my road? fuck you! I'd rather drive."

i don't get it, i smoke and i can hike thirty miles. but motivate to go on a walk down to the point? fuck no, I'll drive. so i think I'll start changing the life style again a little bit. so get ready to hear a new kind of bitching about how different parts of my body are hurting now. (still wont catch me on a bike. even though i own one of these..)
i think what I'll start doing is throwing thirty or so beers into a back pack and go hiking into the canyons around here until the beer is gone. sound good? anybody have any exercise ideas that involve drinking, eating, laziness and smoking? let me know. I'll try them out for ya!
enjoy your week!!