Friday, October 26, 2007

LANGUAGE BARRIER


"ifixit!"

just a quick one since I'm surrounded by ignorance and people who cant seem to understand the chosen language of the nation. most of management has the day off today, one has an anniversary, one is building trophies for a local charity event and the other is picking up all the slack. people get directed to jobs and are sent out to do these jobs every morning. they are expected to bring the proper tools and supplies. this has been happening for as long as there have been jobs for people on this planet. don't bring a can of gas to a fire, bring some water?!?!
so this morning i get a call on the radio from one of our up and coming plumber types.

"uh halo, uh de pipes es leaking."

"hello? who is this? what do you need?

"yeah es miguel, pipas problemas. pipe wrench?"

"hi miguel, you need a pipe wrench?"

"e yes."

"what do you want me to do about it?"

"tank you."

"what?"

"yes, tank you."

"what, hey wait a minute, I'm not bringing you a pipe wrench. you need to come and get it yourself."

"yes"

"you need to get your own pipe wrench! i do not deliver pipe wrenches to job sites, you should have brought the tools to the job. if you are pluming today, you will need pipe wrenches."

"uhh, es mike dere."

"hes in a meeting."

"yes, we need pipe wrenches, de pipes are leaking."

"what do you want me to do about it?"

"yes."

"no!"

"uh, what?"

"if. you. need. a. pipe. wrench. you. need. to. come. back. to. the. yard. and. get. one."

"yes."

twenty minutes later...

"uh, mike..."

"mike is in a meeting, wassup?"

"uh, de pipes es leaking, pipe wrenches?"

I'm really excited to be talking with this particular individual at this point! but, i bust out my best attempt at Spanish, calmly try and tell him in three different ways that there is nobody here to bring him tools that he will need to do his job. that indeed it is his job to return to the yard and get his own tools and he needs to it fast, if there is water leaking, it doesn't sound good.

"oh, okay." he says finally.

"uh, okay, tank you too." i reply.

"uh what?"




3 comments:

Kay said...

That cracked me the fuck up.

Which probably means I'm an asshole.

Shaft bro. I'm just glad it wasn't my place the water was leaking all over while some fool was standing around waiting for someone else to bring him a wrench. Damn fool.

Old Knudsen said...

So what feckin language do you Yanks speak again?

INNER VOICES said...

KAY: yeah what, you jerk, how could you think that was funny... hahahahahaaa. we were all laughing about that shit here in the office this morning. its just a part of life here.
knudsen: well in these parts, the dialect is somewhere between english, redneck, mexican and white slang. dont really know how to decribe it other than...
"yo, what the fuck are y'all doing later? i'll be at my casa, give me a buzz, what."