Tuesday, October 12, 2010

falling behind

Whats today's excuse for not blogging you wonder. that's about all i've been doing around here for a while eh? yeah, I'm fucking sick of it too. truth is, i don't have any fucking time. but here are some thoughts i was having this week.

do you ever have those evil, "i shouldn't be thinking this way thoughts"? you know the ones I'm talking about, when you are sitting there watching the news, listening to the radio or when ever life gives you a chance to think for your self and be negative about a situation... I'll give you a few examples...

this morning i was catching up on the news over at CNN.com and they have a short video of the kid who got burned over 65% of his body or something, you know the kid right? so, I'm watching this vid and i think to my self, "this kid is a fucking punk, I'd smack the shit out of him if he was my neighbor, getting burnt didn't seem to help this kids disposition at all... who the fuck are the parents here, why aren't they doing a little better by this kid, fuck... look at this shithead, here we have a classic case, i bet he was a bully and he did rip those other kids off or some shit, wasn't he skipping school when this all went down?" i stopped my self there because i know those are some fucked up things to say about this child who was brutally set on fire. it's a fucked up thing that has happened to this kid. cut him some slack right? hmmm... i know better than to think this way. watch the video, you decide.

the other day i was watching a movie about capitalism, a Michael Moore film if you must know. and they start it off with a few short clips of people losing their homes, being evicted and some other gut wrenching stuff. i start thinking to myself about the people who got "scammed" by the sub prime market. the folks who bought into the idea that ten years after they initially purchased their new home at 2% interest their rates went to some god awful amount like 25 to 35 percent, did they really think that they were going to be able to afford it? really? i know quite a few folks were duped into these loans, but if i were going to spend say, six hundred thousand dollars i might read some more of the fine print, ask a few more questions... if a banker or loan officer was telling me, "naw man, you can totally afford it!" i might sleep on the idea and get a second opinion on my financial status. so during opening of this movie i was thinking to myself, "hey, you are the one who stepped in the dog shit up to your waist, why are you complaining about the smell now? perhaps when you knew that the deal was too good to be true you shouldn't have taken it... how's that "I'll get another job and stop stuffing my fat fucking face with McDonalds and spend less money" idea working out now, perhaps you should stop reproducing annually pay your fucking bills on time, how bout that! huh..." again i know these are some shitty thoughts, i don't really think that about those people or do i? they are just innocent people who were led to believe they could have a better quality of life by evil money grubbing corparations who lied to them time and time again, right?

on the way to work, NPR was reporting on the woman recently released from prison in the middle east and how her boyfriend and his buddy were still in captivity there and are being tried as spies. well i was having some bad thoughts on that too, can you imagine? why the fuck would you go backpacking in Pakistan in the first place? what the hell could motivate three individuals to cruise around in occupied Afghanistan territories? Iraq? "yeah, lets go see if we can border jump around with our cameras and video recording equipment, take some notes on the scenery and enjoy life while whistling the hills are alive with the sound of mortar fire." WTF?!?!? uh, i may be a simple man, but i know what dumb is... i had a thought about how i didn't feel to bad for those people and sure as shit don't think we should have wasted all that time negotiating for their release and sovereignty... hey kids, there is some fucked up shit going on over there, you may be Americans with all your "freedoms" and shit, but in other countries, that don't matter for shit, quite the opposite. do i really feel that way? I'm not sure... i mean poor fucker have been in prison for over a year for going on a hike, right?

and perhaps you all don't have to have such strong opinions about things either... it could just be a fleeting thought or something that pops in and out of your head in a microsecond. like when you are giving the guy on the street corner some change from the center console of your car or truck, you might think "get a fucking job." but you are giving him the change anyway... when you hear of some mistreatment of illegal immigrants and you might think they shouldn't be here in the first place, but you know better than that. we wouldn't have a country without our fellow migrant workers... or when people bitch about quality of life, don't you just want to say, "what the fuck are going to do about it?!? stop bitching about how shitty life is in bumfuck Nebraska where your family has been living for generations and move to where there are some fucking jobs!", but you know that's not how life works entirely either... life is tough no matter wher you live, right?

i dunno, i have alot of bad thoughts, i am a good person, but i sometimes have those immoral, distasteful, non sympathetic, racist, sexist, uninformed, ignorant thoughts... yep, i know you do too. i can't help it. i suppose as long as the good thoughts and actions out weighs the bad i will only go to the upper levels of hell where all my family and friends will be... not the lower areas where the real evil fucks of this planet go...


now get back to work!!!