Thursday, August 02, 2007

neighbors...


HAVE I POSTED THIS PICTURE BEFORE? well it has new meaning... I'm sick of the fucking neighbors. quit taking my water you jackass, quit calling me on the phone to tell me how you've fixed the system. it wouldn't be fucking up if you would just leave it the hell alone...
now our other neighbors are feuding... and i like them! but the people on the other side of them get wasted and beat the crap out of each other... i guess she is into all kinds of drugs and he likes to beat her for them, so the sheriffs are called and are driving all around long ridge looking for the "spousal abuser". they end up at my neighbors... ooohhh... i wouldn't want the fucking sheriffs knocking on my door looking for directions!
then the following day in the sheriffs log, it says resident complain that 8,000 gallons of water was maliciously drained... hmmm.. whats happening there? more sheriffs driving around looking for direction. on a locked private road...
the next day we cruise up to chat with our friendly next door people to see if they might know something and no one is home... and they have an 8,000 gallon water tank... no shit, it's empty... oh boy! so these are the days of our lives... i feel bad for them. no one likes to sit out on their front patio and listen to the neighbors beat the snot out of each other for who gets to hit the pipe last?!?!?
and who wants to live next to the people that feel slighted by you giving the cops directions to your house too? lame...
stay the fuck away from me and I'll stay the fuck away from you... i shoot guns at our house on occasion... just like all my other neighbors... hopefully this keeps the idiots out. at least until someone calls the sheriffs on me...
the other people on our proverbial block, are pouring concrete these next two weeks. to build their illegal house. so that means a steady troop of workers driving up my road seven days a week at six thirty in the morning... thank you for your leaf blower at seven a.m. this weekend. i really didn't want to sleep in on my one day off. and you neighbor at the bottom of the hill, with your combination generator, leaf blower action even earlier in the morning last week! i love you too!!!
what is with these people... i cant wait to set up my clay pigeon slinger soon. and just at about sunrise, I'm gonna start blasting the twelve gauge out into the canyon... good morning neighbors!!! i fucking live here too!!! just wanted to let you know that!!! good morning!!!

3 comments:

Black Egg said...

Fun rant about a not so fun subject! I am loving the idea about the clay pigeons, ha ha!! I think you should start fucking w/ your neighbors all Blair-Witch style, set up a bunch of weird, ritualistic things made out of sticks and twine and bone and symbols - oh man, I would kind of love doing that - in your position, I would!

Kay said...

Good Lord your neighbors suck.
I just want to punch them in the face, and I only read about the shit they do. How have you not dumped their bodies in the middle of the woods yet?

INNER VOICES said...

HAHAHA!!! no shit i want to punch them in the face... even worse, the one who is stealing the water came down to my house last night and started to get me mad.. he was wanting to my buddy and not listening to me... iwas standing there with a gun. (i was just freeing the bluejays from their feathered bodies) and he is out right lying to me. i must have been bright red!!!
anyway, i laughed at the blair witch ideas for five minutes... so good of an idea... as you know wee live out in the boonies... some satanic stick dolls would be just the thing to keep buddy and his overly friendly ass out of my yard! thanks