Thursday, September 18, 2008

FUCKIN BEAU


beau in brown and charlie in white



my dog is supposed to be one of those mean attack dogs... is he? no... can he be? yes... does he protect the house and children at all costs to self and life? yes... does he look mean when he is running towards you? yes... can he jump high enough to rip out your throat in one bite? yes... does he constantly fuck himself up doing the most retarded shit? yes!!!
remember about nine months ago?
yeah well hes done it again. cept this time much worse. he hasn't lost a lot of blood but has puncture wounds and lacerations over half his body... the vet said it looks like he may have mixed it up with a mountain lion, but the strait and deep nature of the cuts puzzles him and me... he has a three inch flap of skin cut in a triangle on his knee/leg that looks more like a tear than anything else... so i thought he may have been chasing/running away from something and got himself hung up on some building debris or under a barn or fuck i dunno. last night was like super sleuth at our house...

"did someone break in? is anything missing?"
"are the chickens okay?"
"did we call all the neighbors?"
"is there more blood outside?"
"when did you notice it?"
"are these your tire tracks in the dirt here?"
"where are your guns? oh they are here good!"
"what do you want to do?"
"do you think i can sew it myself?"
"wheres the fucking duct tape?"
"what the hell did you do to yourself dog?!?!"
"how much do you think this will cost this time?"

so this morning i drove him to the vet where they love to see me (as my credit card is now on file) and the will be putting him under for his latest round of surgeries... inside stitches to fix the wound on his back where you can see down to the bone and outside stitches for all the other fucking cuts on him... grrr... damn dog. he should be eating tigers and bears and shit and instead he is out tripping over his own feet and impaling himself on branches and falling off rocks... but he is my dog and if what they say is true about him taking on my mannerisms I'll be getting some stitches soon enough.... anybody wanna bet on it?



26 comments:

That Guy said...

Fuckin Beau! Glad you're taking care of biz with him man...good work. WTF is it anyway?

Random Chick said...

Awww...give Beau a break. He was probably saving you guys from a mountain lion. I hope he gets better soon.

Donnnnn said...

The thing of it is, you know that he would take a bullet for you..
in a heartbeat!

How many other friends do you have that would do that?
EXACTLY.

Ya love him,
What-are-ya-gonna-do eh?

INNER VOICES said...

that guy! oh yeah, one step at a time with that dog....

random... thanks for the well wishes fo beau... we have heard some other interesting news in the sur and perhaps have some other ideas... wont know until we get home and see what it is we would be looking for...

to be continued....

dooonnn.... i know it eh? what am i gonna do. he would indeed do just about anything for us!

Leni Qinan said...

Wow, man I've just read the post where you wrote about what happened to Beau 9 months ago (good thing if he could talk to you and tell you wth he did). But you'll prolly never know.

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog", said Mark Twain)

I hope he gets better soon and doesn't do whatever-he-did again.

Never Mind The Bollix said...

I can see why you didn't call him Lucky.

Suzanne said...

Why don't the two of them live inside? Of course. What the hell else am I going to ask? You leave them outside to protect you, and when they do, you bitch about the vet bill. Give that some thought. They suffer a hell of a lot more than you. I know honey, I'm not here for entertainment alone. No really. I'm not! And yes, I know what you're thinkin' about this. And you should. I certainly would. Yup, I can hear you all the way from Big Sur. Doesn't change a thing. That's what I think.

Suzanne said...

I might add...everyone kisses your big, beautiful ass, but not me. I'm clinging to your chest!!!

Walker said...

At least you know he's tough and he could take a beating even if its at his own paws.

I don't know about the dog picking up the owners mannerisms because I didn't teach mine to lick his pecker.

I hope he heals quick.

MJ said...

I've right clicked and saved the pic.

You'll find out why within a week or so.

Or whenever I get around to it, more likely.

INNER VOICES said...

suz.... suz... suz.... youre so way off i feel disrespected... dont assume anything, ever, about me... or the way i treat my dogs... i could easily pull your pants down, point and laugh on this one but i dont feel the need to justify my life, my lifestyle, what i do and say to anyone, ever.... sorry you feel like i dont treat my animals with dignity and respect, thats on you and what you believe about me. thanks though for your heartfelt and energetic responses!!! your comments are always genuine!

INNER VOICES said...

dangerous writer, welcome back and love the mark twain quote... awesome...
we were talking last night about how we wish he could just tell us what happened. gah, how much easier it would be.... thanks for your kind words as well...

bollix, no shit eh? when i got him he was all skin and bones, he'd been shot and beat, his eyes cut up and starved... id say he wasnt that lucky a dog as well, and beau as a name?!?! hes grown into it, it was the name the lady who gave him to me who laid that upon him...

walker, hes a tough one for sure... tere was a day when we were all hanging out watching the sun set and beau was running around the cow fields. he was climbing back through the barbed wire fence and i noticed him doing this awkward dance halfway through it. i walked over to see what the fuck he was doing and saw that his sheath had snared one of the barbs on the wire, just as i was pushing him back through the fence to unhook his lipstick holder, he gave a final tug and slit that fucking thing open an inch wide... talk about a part of the body that bleeds alot... did he hardly notice? no....

mj, cool, i know it will be quite the event!!! take yer time!

Suzanne said...

Hi baby. I have insomnia so I'm thinking more clearly. Hey, haven't had insomnia in about a month! High Five!!! Good for me and good luck to you after my slide trip. Landing on that Pontiac was gentle, the ride is what nearly killed me. Yes, I'm seeking revenge.

I really have to use the English language properly because I don't think I do. I hurt you and that was clearly not my intent. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm going to pretend I'm Leah or Kylie and write really, really...slow...and..."good!" Of course I'm laughing, but seriously, I'm going to try. Okay, here goes.

I adore you. You know that. I give you a hard time simply because you give me a hard time. You're like a long-lost-pain-in-the-ass brother. Frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I didn't mean to offend or hurt you. Really, I didn't. I know you love your dogs and no honey, I would never think otherwise. And no, I would never disrespect you. Never, so please get that thought out of your mind. If you feel I did, I'm so sorry. I respect you, Cheese and your lifestyle very much. So always remember that no matter what comes out of my mouth, the above is the truth.

Oh, and what the hell did you mean when you said "I could easily pull your pants down, point and laugh on this one." WHAT???!!! I just looked. I didn't laugh. Okay, right back atcha buddy...I could easily pull your's down and laugh too!!! Why? Because you're almost as old as me.

Love you and sorry if I caused stress. I didn't mean to and will be more careful. Thanks for always rollin' with me. Your generosity is appreciated. Hope your wee one gets well soon. I'm sorry Zack.

Okay, I said I'm sorry like 3 or 4 times. Am I good to go?

Love you,
Me

Daisy said...

i have the dumbest shit happen with my dogs too...but it isn't in the injury category like yours...mine have had more doc visits than i can shake a stick at and yes they have our credit card on file...one dog damn near died because she ate a piece of ham...another has year long allergies and needs shots every week...another has cataracts and displacia on 3 of 4 knees...but they are mine...and oh yes they are nuts, like their owner...however all of them (no matter how small) would kill for me...and attack any of my family members without provocation or training...smart beasts they are :)

Leah said...

Get better soon, Beau, you good old dog.

Mr. Shife said...

Hope Beau is feeling better, and I know the feeling with the vet. I think the fat basset should have the new wing of the clinic named after him after all the money we have put into that place. Like the cartoon too.

catscratch said...

Awwwww. Bless his little heart. It's as hard to see a love pet hurt as it is when a child gets hurt.

And bless your credit card, may it not be maxed out over this.

INNER VOICES said...

suz, my feelings werent hurt. just thought you should know that when you assume....


daisy, aint it a bitch... we wouldnt have them in our lives if we werent prepared to love them till the very last minute!!

leah, i'll give him a bop in the head for ya!

mr.shife. thanks man, he will be fine. the vet didnt like the idea of me sewing him up myself. then he looked at me like i was beating the dog... grrr....

catscratch... thanks... the credit takes the cash out on the spot, so there is never a chance of me fucking up on the credit building thing....

Suzanne said...

I won't assume any more. Those days are gone. Gone forever. Like in the Eagle's song

Suzanne said...

I won't assume any more. Those days are gone. Gone forever. Like in the Eagle's song

Suzanne said...

wow, how'd it get there twice when I only pubished once?

TachaƩ said...

cute dogs,
but no fence?

Queen Goob said...

OOOOO, he looks a lot like my Cooper! Cooper is an omega dog, but I love him anyway. (Sometimes embarrassing considering his size.) Hope the Beauster recovers quickly; I know he's worth the cost. You can bitch all you want as long as it's you paying the bill, right?

I had a pitbull dragged behind a pick-up truck once, I feel your vet bill pain. (Thank goodness I was a vet tech at the time; free services!)

oakland heidi said...

oh man. Poor Beau. The rumor I heard was that Cheese's pup had been killed by the ML... much better news that the pups are alright. Just messed up and expensive.

oakland heidi said...

oh man. Poor Beau. The rumor I heard was that Cheese's pup had been killed by the ML... much better news that the pups are alright. Just messed up and expensive.

INNER VOICES said...

thank you all for your comments and thoughts...
welcome tache, thanks for the kudos on the dogs and no we dont have any fences. the dogs live inside mostly but get out to play when we are home in the evenings and first thing in the morning... we live in the mountains with hundreds of acres around us so putting up a fence just isnt feasible... besides what dog in the universe wouldnt want to play in the woods?

goob, no shit eh? fuckin dogs... do love them though...

oaktownie, rumors... too funny. being out of the loop i do seem to forget the big sur politics and rumor mills. thanks for the thoughts and beau is just fine...