Thursday, September 25, 2008

BOLLIX THE BUILDER

so..... last week i find out that bollix and his crew are builders... i had asked him to stop on by and build me some shelves. simple enough eh? one would think... i had asked that they reflect me as a person as my house and shop display something about the person who resides in side.

we talked about how i would like it to look and what i expect to do with the shelves... i then offered the boys some beer and girlie mags to peruse during their lunch break and i left for work...


i guess i offered them the wrong beer or his crew doesn't approve of porn, cause when i returned from work that day i found my house looking like this, a bunch of my neighbors hanging around and a note that read...



"Mr. voices, you wanted us to do something to your house that reflected you and how others might perceive you. here you go asshole, now you have plenty of space to put your shit..."

13 comments:

Bollix said...

That's fucking slanderous! What really happened was that when the lads knocked off for a liquid lunch, I went to take a shite in your kitchen sink (the toilet was far too digusting to use) and just at that moment the Hadron Collider malfunctioned and blew a hole through your house.

You should fucking well thank me for salvaging your animal porn DVD collection from the debris.

...talk about an ungrateful bastard.

kylie said...

this post and the last are brilliant zack !!

ROCK ON!!!

Ron Knee said...

THATS a glasgow shelf. And a good one at that. Whit's yer gripe?

Ron Knee said...

You can put a book up in it, whit more dy'a want?

Some people are niver happy...

INNER VOICES said...

bollix, i know yer just havin a jab at me with the "shelving"... but denying it... thats just too much. i was wondering what the chunky soup was splattered across my kitchen counter was as well..

kylie!! aaaahhh shit, thanks...

ron knee... welcome to the voices... i see that you have sobered up from yer night of drinkin with the bollix and have blessed the voices with a visit. i wanted shelves, not a bigger than life size version of bollixs bumhole...

but you are quite correct, i can now proudly put my collection of animal porn on display for all to view in my new storage area... so thanks for the positive spin on this predicament...

denim said...

this is off topic but, you have to watch this:

http://www.biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=9393

all of ya

Ron Knee said...

Sorry tae say, but ah hav'nae sobered up. just toppin' up from the previous weeks....

MJ said...

Have you seen the size of Jimmy's hammer?

just bob said...

cool pics

kylie said...

actually, not this one and the last, this one and the second last........but you knew that right?

INNER VOICES said...

denim... funny staff man, thanks for the help with burying those bodies last night...

ron knee, good man... i hate to see a sober gentleman...

mj, jimmys tool belt seems to be the talk of the town as of late...

just bob, thanks man, i guess they are from an art project in houston...

kylie, i knew/know what yer talkin bout...

Mr. Shife said...

This is awesome. I guess I won't be asking Bollix and his crew for a bid. But IV I might be able to get some shit done for you for ample amounts of beer and porn. Just something to think about it when you need another project down around the house.

INNER VOICES said...

most every project around my house involves a shit load beer and naked women... the men come up to work, (sometimes their women do more than their fair share as well), and mostly the women lay around naked inthe yard on the grass. any time you wanna come on down and drink/work your ass off, my door is open! thanks for the offer!!!