Tuesday, September 23, 2008

help write inner voices next post!!!

since I'm real fucking busy this week and cant even get around to do a proper post, I'm gonna leave it up to you guys to help me out... I'm going to start a story about my weekend with two sentences and let each and every one of you(my favorite people in the world) add two sentences two the story in my comment box. after everyone has had a chance to add their two cents/ sentences I'll re-write the post up here for the following day... so please help an aging man continue his somewhat daily posting wouldjah! thanks...

here goes....


" i woke up Saturday morning and what did i see?!?! some ugly mother fucker looking back at me...:"


nows the time to show us all how witty, charming, disgusting, crass, etc... you can be!

13 comments:

Random Chick said...

...he said, "Hey Mother Fucker, I'm one too! Would you like to go to the zoo? Let's go jam with the monkeys and throw some poo!"

Bollix said...

...."he said to me, Hey you, you big tall cunt!" I said to him, " Are you'se talking to me, little runt?"

hnter1018 said...

i woke up Saturday morning and what did i see?!?! some ugly mother fucker looking back at me..."

with morning breath and his face in a snear he leans in close to whisper in my ear" HEy liitle buddy last night you were all class, but now get ready 'cause I get to fuck you in the ass.

So put your face in the your pillow and get up on your knees cause if this is your first time it's going to be a tight squeeze.

MJ said...

So I lubed up the torque wrench real good.

But it was the cheap kind from Sears.

Megan said...

And then I woke up.

What I saw was the stuff of nightmare so exponentially worse, it almost defies description.

Suzanne said...

I'm still fixed on Hunter. Jeasus Christ, I had no idea. And to think, I call him "friend." "Hunter, don't come near me! No seriously, don't come near me!!!" Don't make me call 911.

The past few months have been stressful, so this is easy. "Get the fuck away from me."

Queen Goob said...

The cheap ones from Sears tend to rust real bad; so I hiked it to the shed to borrow from dad.

When I opened up the toolbox what did my wondering eyes see? Handcuffs and whips looking back at me!

hnter1018 said...

Suzanne I was only following directions. HE said to be as disgusting and crass as can be!!!

INNER VOICES said...

so kids, i'll need more than this to put up a good post... perhaps what happens next?

Leah said...

Wait, where were we? At the tool box, or waking up from the nightmare to a worse nightmare?

Okay, let's backtrack: IV, you've woken up from the nightmare where some guy is about to f!@# you in the ass and you've got nothing but a cheap Sears wrench with which to defend yourself. Luckily, it was a nightmare; however, you've woken to a worse nightmare and now you're standing at the toolbox looking at whips and handcuffs. Here's my addition:

The voice in your ear was in fact no dream, and it's there again, this time for real, growling at you and with each growl a gusty breath of decay, intoning in hideous cadence: "Zack, it may be Saturday but you work on Saturdays now and everyone else has been fired, so you must march yourself to your job and do all the repairs and the paperwork, back-ordered and pending, all by yourself in handcuffs while I keep an eye on you with this whip; I'll let you free for five minutes at noon so that you can eat your sandwich and drink your Red Bull."

Is that two sentences?

Cecile said...

A misty haze fell all around, I stumbled from the shed and fell on the ground. My head was a spinning, the air grew stale. I hollered, "Could someone please fetch me an ale." "An ale gosh dern it, any kind will do. No don't bring just one and bring more than two."

Walker said...

This is a great idea. I have done soemthing similar in the past and had to write a sex post with a Llama in it.

Queen Goob said...

LMAO......sex with a llama.