sorry on the no posty or commentsie backsies... alas im not burying any bodies... everyone knows you dont bury bodies, duh, you burn them in shallow pits, then leave them open so the animals can dismember them and spread their parts all over the countryside... right csi?
but i am so very very very busy as of late... tis the season for me to be working extra hours...feels like i have pounds of extra work to be dealing with... so heavy shouldered and lack of sleep i will be for the next week/weeks. this is the way it is and it will be this way until i am done...
on another note...
im working on a favorites list... not my favorite posts, but my favorites of you.... this is now the time for bribing, and begging, pleading, offers of sexual favors, cash payments and the like... so feel free to fill my inbox what have you and see who makes the cut, you might be surprised, it could be you.... the winner not only gets bragging rights but......
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11 comments:
Stop yammering and refill my cocktail glass.
Be quiet, Gunga Din is on TCM right now.
Dude, will you ever learn? Burn the body, then feed it to your drunk friends during football season. Ribs, Wings and Monday night meatloaf.
Entire soccer teams have done it without A1 sauce, so can you.
just sneak into a funeral home and stuff the bodies under the ones being cremated ;)
The best way is to cut off the head, remove the teeth with pliers before disposing of them in deep water somewhere, preferably salty.
Next.. feed the body (unclothed) through an industrial wood chipper, collecting the pink fatty gruel-like substance in a plastic container.(Plastic melts when burnt, thus removing all traces of DNA)
Mix the gruel with oatmeal and feed the lot to pigs.(Usually 4 pigs will devour a human body in around 16 minutes if 'chipped')
Pigs will consume anything apart from human teeth, thus the all important pliers and the trip to the seaside.
Always ensure that the ground on which the chipper is located, is covered in a layer of sawdust doused with petrol. Once the task is completed, set fire to the ground removing all traces of blood and bone spatters.
Why are you all looking at me like that for? I told you... I wasn't always just a builder.
"...you got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes."
....what?
...why are you all looking at me like that? bollix used to work for me.
dude, voices, get me another sandwich, wouldja?
oh pookey, overtime?
Need a hug?
Well, there you have it - Body disposal 101. You'd think that we all hung out together.
Bollix, pass the salt. First Nations, stop kicking me under the table.
Be sure to clean your plate...
I think you all have it covered nicely. Pigs are a time-honored tradition for corpse-maintenance.
Favorites? Are you throwing out a gambit to become Master? Okay. But all I have to offer is pie.
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE INFORMATIVE WAYS I WHICH TO RID OURSELVES OF UNWANTED HOUSE GUESTS!!!
bird of a feather eh?
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