before the first off, sorry about the mistakes! its a fucking mac.

YEAH, FIRST OFF... i hate mac blogging. don't want things to work right? use a mac on Dial up... yeah i should dub that line first bitch....
okay then...

second bitch: what won't eat poison, doesn't like prunes or peanut butter and keeps bugging the living fuck out of me? answer me that and I'll give you something you have never seen before!

third bitch: the company that has our engine. their entire service and parts department has gone on strike!!!! WTF?!?!? I'm going to explode! they have not answered one call or email in two weeks... today i finally finagle my way into a cell phone number and blammo i get service manager, at home on strike.

aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh..... conversation as follows.

"this is Zack at blaze... hows it going? whats happening with my engine?"
"ohhhh... ummmm...welllll... we are on strike. it's more of a walk out really, we are hoping its resolved in the next three days.. things really need to change there." Rene Rodriguez tells me.
"what?"
"yeah, we are hoping they come to some sort of agreement." his reply.
"so.... whats happening with my engine?"
"i can't really tell you. at this time."
"ahhh... is it your entire company or just your branch? this is bullshit."
"yeah..."
"can we transfer this to one of your other branches? are you even doing anything about this?" I'm bright fucking red!
"i have to go..."
i can not tell you how amazingly pissed off i am at this point. i will leave it at that...

third bitch: i hate mechanics. yes, we are all underpaid, overworked and exposed to gnarly chemicals that haven't been fully researched as to how much they are fucking killing us. but, get to work. if you understood how the American money machine worked, you would realize, its not about you... its about the job you do and the customers you service!!! you fucks!!! ( yes, yes... i would like everything they want too... but i need my engine back pronto!!!)

fourth bitch: i am out of beer... and i just went to make myself a rum and coke... no coke... so i pour myself a gin and tonic, another big WTF? "THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!" read the label on the tonic.... diet... need i say any more....

fifth bitch: I'm getting tired of bitching. try something else...

I've been trying to fix special cheese's Subaru for three days now.. its adding undue stress to things here at the house... its having a fuel relay problem... i wont bitch about that.... but i got to take it home today, with no one else in the car... hahahahahahaha.... i have been dogging on this car since the day i saw it. but when i fired it up to well over a hundred this evening and still had quite a bit to go i was quite impressed. up the coast i followed a PT Cruiser, who was hitting every illegal passing spot and still wasn't doing a very good job at gaining on the snake... (the snake is the line of cars that accumulates in summer going up and down the coast..aka: tourists in a long line.) but it was fun and i fucking hammered it! nice ride! thank you cheese!!!

I'm watching a movie while i do this and am needing to use the phone, enjoy the evening and hope to hear from you all tomorrow!!!

INTERESTING

radio: paging big sur volunteer fire brigade... we have a small vegetation fire at 47271 highway one...

phone rings, Debbie answers... "what? where? okay thank you..."

"whats up deb?" i ask.

"theres a fire at my house!" she says as the color leaves her face.

we mill around the office for a moment, day hoe and i decide to grab a fire extinguisher and follow her down... we drive down her road with the windows open and smell nothing. cruise up to debs and casually kick it for a min.

"well deb, i don't even smell any smoke. got any beer?" i ask

"sure, thanks for coming down!" already she is looking better. "day hoe, would you like one?"

"no thanks."

i pound my beverage and suggest to day hoe that we do some four wheeling and find out some more of whats really happening. we drive on this old access road that parallels the river and out of nowhere pops this hippy looking dude.

"did you see the fire brigade?" he stammers.

"nope, wheres the fire?" we ask.

"over here, c'mon I'll show ya!"

after he leads us down a wrong turn and we back up and head back down the road we were driving on we spot it. a good sized red wood tree has fallen over and is smoldering pretty good.

"nice one... " i say and get on the radio with mike...

short story long we went and found the fire brigade, brought them down to the scene and smoked a cigarette. looks like they had it all under control... that hippy looked pretty damn scared though... well have a good Monday!

SORRY KIDS! WICKED FUCKING BUSY TODAY!!!

MY OFFICE.

uh, yeah... that's my office. you can tell I'm very organized huh? seems to be a lot going on there... but anyways, i hope everyones holiday was a good one and people have some good stories to tell! lets hear some and I'll share mine...

more crainial rectal invertions

we are having a work party today, so that means Ive been looking at a cooler full of beer all day long... all day long... other than that its just a short post today, nothing to bitch about, no one really broke anything today and i am ready for a little midweek weekend. so i hope you all don't think of driving too far tonight and getting too fucked up, it is a rookie drinking holiday after all...

oh, i do have a short news tid bit... some jackass went hiking up into the mountains last week with his pit bull to fast. you know what i mean, to not eat or clean his colon or whatever... WTF? anyway he is at one of the popular camping places here in the mountains. there are hot springs to use and at about this time of year its a huge toilet. (too many people shitting behind too few trees!)

i digress, this cluster fuck is now too tired to hike his ass the twelve miles out and has collapsed. we had choppers flying around here all day. thing is, these fucking twig pigs (park rangers) love to dispatch the choppers. and there isn't anywhere to land one of these things in the wilderness... "so what?" you say, "they could basket him out." you might think. i tell you what, if i were to pass out from not eating for a week and my dog(also a pit bull) had been by my side, (who probably also hasn't eaten for a week) and you were try to rescue me, i don't think there would be a chance in hell some body would be able to get within ten feet of me.

hungry dog? man descending from the sky with lots of scary fucking noise? yeah my dog would freak out...

so what did they do? hiked his hippy ass out of the woods, gave his foul smelling ass something to eat and drink. maybe even something to his dog! they scrambled two choppers and tried to get a third down here for some fruit loop who wanted to cleanse his colon! if i was the first man on scene I'd pop that guy square in the nose and march him strait to jail! tax payer money just thrown out the window. lots of it. do you think this dope is going to have to pay for any of that? even if they did charge him i doubt he cough it up...

quote of the day: "why do these people come to Big Sur and do this shit?"

something else funny? my spell check thinks fuck is a word but not hippy. hahahaha

did i mention i'm half Canadian?

here in California we have a saying... "sure feels like earth quake weather.." that means its hot as hell and dry. like something is in the air... well today is earthquake weather... and we had one.

i jumped out of my seat and was on my feet before it was over...

"no, shit! are you feeling that? i said to the gal in the office.

see we have alot of heavy shit here in the yard, and sometimes guys who don't really know what they are doing smack into stuff. if someone were to smack into my office i wouldn't have time to do much...

earthquakes are one of those things i haven't quite gotten over yet. (yeah, you folks from California are saying, "what a pussy." but i am not quite sure of the proper reaction when the earth moves from left to right beneath you...)

"that was a small one, i bet not even 4.7." was the response i got from the outer office.

that still doesn't make me feel any better about. we have stuff here simply stacked on top of things. like shipping containers. two at a time, they are NOT bolted together....

anyway, that was all i had to say about that.

body rant: after a weekend of torturing myself with some serious boozing, heavy duty motorcycling and six or more jumps from an insane rope swing into the lake, my body is giving me the big middle finger. the right side of my back is swollen, left shoulder wont lift above my head, my hands hurt, (is any one playing the violin for me yet?)my knees hurt, i swear my liver is twice the size it should be, (someone calling the wambulance?) and my eyes are still seeing double at long distances... i followed a little too close to the bike in front of me wearing only glasses! (idiot!!!). i need a weekend where i can just sit around and do nothing... yeah, right. i wouldn't even if i could!

work rant:i spent two hours pouring over your parts catalogs looking for this "single spool valve". i know it wasn't easy. i'm loud and quite persistant, but when i said i wanted "the exact same ones" i didn't mean the ones you get a bigger kick from selling to me, from your suppliers. i meant "the exact same ones"! so now while you scramble to find me the right shit, i called your competitor down the street. who has them in stock. tomorrow when you call me and say you had them shipped UPS next day to you, I'll be in my truck to pick up the ones i needed from you last week! oh, by the way, i shipped these heavy ass things back to you UPS collect. i deal with you all the fucking time! you know when i waste my time sitting in your office i mean business, it means i don't trust your staff well enough to give you the order over the phone, it means i will give my business to those retards down the street from you for a while, perhaps until you notice i haven't spent any money with you in weeks and you call me to say hello. maybe even a little while after that. you just lost money. how do you like me now?

oh, and i stole that pic from one of the blogs i read. i hope she doesn't mind!

well, what can you do?

there is no amount of cold beer that will fix the level of frustration I'm feeling right now. so, I'm going to let it all go, leave work early and go get an ice cold beer! ha to all who must stay at work! i just fixed the 401c and took the fire hose to the back hoe.

"oops, did i get you wet?"

"que?" he looks at me slightly wet.

"mucho agua, si?"

"si."his reply as he wrings out his shirt.

"yeah, mucho fucking agua, get it?"

yeah, going home now... before i get into any trouble.

oh and i just got a call from special cheese.

"i just went up to the water tank, bad news, its not pumping..."

how do they say it? insult to injury?

ice cold beer... sounds good, have a nice day all!!!

GET TO WORK, TRAJBAHO, SABE?

So today i have been blessed with the most wonderful helper yet. actually I've had him help me in the past... so today when i was told he would be helping me again i was overjoyed...

"hey, you are getting F.L.O.P. today." he says... (fat, lazy, over paid. flop.)

"no thanks, i told you last time i don't want him in the shop."

"well, you get him, his dad is working with you too. can you keep them both busy?"

"i tell you what, i don't want him in the yard. it kills me we pay this kid money. he is the laziest person on payroll."

"well, Dave says he is doing a lot better. gluing pipe and back filling trenches on his own."

"i don't have any pipe for him to glue and do you see any trenches around here?" i reply. "his dad can baby sit, he can clean out the back hoe, i don't want to tell him what to do cause I'll start getting pissed off."

"do what you can, make him listen."

"that's gonna work."

FLOP is a kid that snuck across the border a few months ago and lives here in the yard with his dad and brother, out back in a converted trailer we have.... NO ENGLISH, and he pretends he doesn't understand my Spanish either. i don't know perfect Spanish, but i speak perfect get the fuck to work!!!

when i point and say clean this, use a vacuum, (witch i point to.) and bring him a bucket with water and soap and a variety of cleaning products to use. it means get to fucking work! i say it in Spanish, i repeat in English, and ask his father if he understands...

"yes, yes."

"does he get it? clean the back hoe?"

"yes, yes."

"then why is he cleaning the shop?"

"yes, yes."

"hey stop fucking around in my shop, these are my tools and i don't give a shit if there is dust in here, clean. the. fucking. back hoe. got it?"

"yes, yes."

aaarrrgggghhhhh.... its now about twelve thirty and guess what? my backhoe is filthy. WTF. anybody want to make twelve bucks an hour out there? I'd happily send this guy to well... anywhere but here!!!

we constantly hire these rejects, they will mill around the yard trying not to be noticed too much and then reluctantly go to work... i say we have them all stand at the bottom of the road and pick out a few of them to work for us everyday... wanna motivate some of our labor force? don't let them go to work! wanna see them start appreciating their larger then normal paychecks? stop paying for standing around for an hour every morning. and hire some fucking people interested in learning the god dam language!!!

all right, all right... I'll stop with the borderline tantrum right there... i could easily spin out of control and accidentally swing the boom over a little too far and wack one of these helpers in the head while they are standing around picking their noses and eating it.

i think I'm going to go out and spray this fucker with the fire hose... will that get my point across?

in other news! we are going to the nakamoto fest this weekend! see last years here and this years here! lots of fun and i wrote a post about it here...

shit, flop has no brought the attention of some one else down upon himself... got to go.

sorry about the language

yeah, whoops. the post following this one or just before, depending on how you look at it has some explicit language. sorry about that. i guess i was real pumped up when i was writing it and spell check never seems to think words like fuck, shit or assholes are incorrect. huh.

whats that up there boy?

i'm overwhelmed, my dog might have heart worms.. the initial test came up positive and they had to take another sample for secondary blood work. fucking dog.

we ran out of water yesterday, my landlod gave the neighbor the go ahead to get some water from us. grrr. after i found out he might have been stealing it before, he called my land lord and got the official go ahead.

i don't give a shit what he does with his water and his property, but we pay a lot of fucking money to this man and he is giving away our water to a real piece of shit. i. don't. like. him. he has plumbed his "water line" into the pump side of our system and and put a valve in and shut off the water to us. fucker. he was supposed to take only from our overflow. i called the landlord last night, trying to keep my cool, i explained to him the situation.

"I'm gonna chop up that water line of his if it happens again."

"don't do that I'll call him."

"i have three girls here and four tomorrow, if i don't get water, it's going to be a real problem!"

"okay, I'll straighten it out."

our water runs up about six or seven hundred feet from the creek. its powered by the sun, as long as its shining, i get water. pumps about twelve hundred gallons a day. we have a four thousand gallon tank that should last us quite a long time. unless someone is stealing it! theives...

i get to work this morning and my yard is out of water too! can you believe this shit. we spent all morning hiking up and down the mountain side looking for leaks in our system here. just to find out some asshole left their water hose on all night. drained three thousand gallons of our water. there are two houses illegally hooked up to our tank here.

you want to know what my shop smells like after twenty five guys drink two cups of coffee in the morning and use a bathroom with no water? now imagine these guys not noticing that there isn't any water to flush. or that the first ten guys didn't know either? getting any visuals on it yet? how bout a smell check?

yeah, so now I'm going over to Salinas to get some parts for this truck again. more money down drain.

did i forget to mention that our good friend "day hoe" is up to his tricks again!

"dude, did you see the 401c?" he asks. (that's our yard loader.)

"no, do you mean the hydro hose that blew yesterday when you were loading? i fixed that, its ready to go."

"uhh, no come here." he says quietly to not draw any attention from the higher ups.

"i think i hit the wall, and now it won't steer and there is that bar thingy hanging down there. see it?"

"how the fuck can i miss it? you think you hit the wall? the rim is still embedded in the concrete."

"sorry bro, hey, its just like I'm keeping you busy all the time, heh heh."

"you should run, I'll give you a head start."

of course these parts are only available in Pennsylvania or some shit, but my guy over at empire is getting them to me for tomorrow. that's nice because i definitely don't have enough shit to do around here. nobody ever pisses me off or anything! and they wonder why i carry a gun under the seat of my truck!

"you should run...."

how do i have time to sit here and bitch about all this when i should be out in the yard laying on my back in a pool of hydraulic oil yanking out the broken steering arm? why am i not arm deep in a clutch housing preparing to install these parts in the morning after u.p.s. arrives? well, besides all the other things i do here, i do take lunch. hahahahahahaha. and i bring buckets of water in from the water tender so the ladies who work here can use the office bathroom and not feel disgusted by "letting it mellow".

hope y'alls week is going well and perhaps you can send some "don't piss Zack off by stealing his water" vibes over to my neighbor. who if i catch on my property again I'll casually let my dog out and say those magic words he loves so much,that i never,ever, ever say to him....

"WHATS THAT UP THERE BOY? GET HIM!"

cool pics!

just wicked quick, a friend of mine sent me these pics she took last weekend at her house! we were drinking and dancing the afternoon away... much fun!

COOL THING.

something i just noticed, if you click on the pictures, they blow up to the size i put them on there.. at least on my computer it does... let me know if it works on all of yours too. i was kinda bummed that they always download so small, but i guess that is to keep the "blog" looking neat and pretty. so i used a four mega-pixel camera to take those shots and they seem to look good when i click on them too. so i hope that it works for everyone and at least someone can enjoy them!

the house....

here it is, fresh from this morning. the house. its brand new, everything in it is brand new, so its nice. its too hot for much grass and the soil sucks. but we water the fuck out of whats there and try to keep things green! special cheese has been cultivating the hillside and planting stuff in these flat beds she has carved out of the mountain. we have just finished building a workshop downstairs in the out door shed thing. helps keep stuff from getting chewed on by rats. yup there are rats. huge ones, the size of small cats, but they don't get into the house and pretty much stay out of the shop, but we kill quite a few on the mountain. anyway, i got to get back to work! have a great weekend everyone and hopefully "talk" with you all soon!!!

garden of eden. what? well its nice anyway.

here are a couple shots of the garden on the side of the house... the retaining wall we built.(we are fucking crazy.) some patchy sun and you can almost make out some of the fine veggies we have agrowin. special cheese convinced me into flowers in the veggie garden after much bitching and whining i agreed. I'm so glad i did, it looks great and she has done such a wonderful job. she pours so much time and energy into it! its fun watching the girls get all juiced on the sun flowers. one is almost seven feet tall already.(they named it sunny.)

solar panels and generator in the back ground, did i ever mention our house is off the grid? everything powered by the sun!

the pen! or coop, or whatever the fuck you are supposed to call it!

it looks small but its really not, its sixteen feet by sixteen feet. six feet tall and it only took four days of after work to do it. total cost to put chickens on our property? about three hundred and sixty bucks! the box with the jhole in the bottom will accually have two floors of egg laying goodness. i need to finish it up. but for now the chics don't really use it yet.... is all this boreing you yet?

me-n-cheese

yep, chickens!!! it took a couple tries for us to both be in the picture with our eyes open and having chics in our hands all at the same time!

this morning.

we were grouchy this morning... but this is special cheese!

ALL RIGHT ALREADY!

can i write shit here too?

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so I'm bring home the camera from work. I'd like to take some pics of the place and show them off. anybody mind? too bad if you do... hahahaha. its so ff-ing hot right now up there and buggy.

nothing else to complain about right now, I'm hungry and tired but that's kind of the usual around here now. so hopefully I'll be able to figure out how to put more than one picture at a time on again... happy Thursday!

perhaps i'll see if i can do it now. (with the pictures thingy.

i'll be here soon!!!

so ff-ing busy! never a minute to sit down... been bouncing from job to job for days it seems. with missing two days of work last week it's been a huge hustle here at work to get caught up. yup no slacking off. but I'm on the phone with parts people right now so no worries.
we are building a chicken pen and coop! "what the fuck?" you say, that's what I'm saying now too! it sounded like an easy project but it's proving to be a pain in the ass. i thought a sixteen by sixteen foot pen seemed small, but not when I'm standing in it and realising how much more work i have left to go! "why chickens?" you ask, i dunno. the girls expressed some interest. and in this world of television and shit, i thought it might be a way to keep us all even more occupied then normal...
shit phone call is over got to go!

STOMACH FLU

sorry folks.... stomach flu.... we had it at our house earlier this week and thought she had food poisoning. guess not. i would use my normal descriptive language but i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about. i have not felt like that since my first trip to mexico... even bali belly wasn't so violent. (here i go being descriptive...) oops, i mean poops.... ahahahaa..
anyway, things are better now and should be able to return to work on mnday. its a beautiful day today and we have much planned, happy fathers day to any of you out there!!!

I THINK I'M STRESSING OUT A LITTLE BIT.

well i say that because I'm starting to be tired all the fucking time. my body aches and it takes quite a bit for me to get the ball rolling lately. besides work, there is all the stuff at home i do. gardening, moving, yard work, housework, etc. etc. now i don't want to sound like I'm bitching. but some of the things i usually get done seem to be slipping... dishes, laundry, ( i like doing laundry, everything is so clean and fresh!) mopping.. blah blah blah. thanks to special cheese these things are being handled. but I'm not doing it she is.

there are also all the things i want to be doing. new seats in the boat, build the chicken coop, doors on the wood shed, electricity in the shop, a lawn, fix her car, finish installing the suspension kit in my truck, dogs to the vet, check on the water, kids to the lake, kids camping, buy treys little motorcycle, fix the mountain bike, run another batch of moonshine, cut down some trees, stack some wood for winter, got the creek and make a swimming hole, fuck. so much to do... i think that's why I've been stressing out lately. too much shit to do. but i know it will all happen. and its something i complain about all the time. not enough time.

other then that things are going great!!! have a good one. I'm trying to get off a little early today. go home and get some more shit handled.... thanks for all the replies to the question yesterday... makes me feel all warm and fuzzy... WTF? so I'll ask another. what is one thing you all really want to do/get done/have happen for you this summer? and can i help? i'm better at doing other peoples shit than my own!

OOUCH

i fucking hate yellow jackets too!!! special cheese just got stung by bees and i bet that sucks. i can't stand getting stung. i was on the highway driving my motorcycle years back with the visor up and had one lodge in the side of my helmet... needless to say i couldn't get off the fucking bike fast enough... any body have a good bee story?

PHONES A RINGING

SO BUSY HERE AT WORK!!! don't even hardly have a minute to blog but... some highlights:

got invited to a party on Saturday. had a great time. dancing, drinking and sun, got to see some friends that i have not seen in a long time. got to meet Traci's new son, and flick my nose up at the people who used to be my friends...

when ever you go to a party that is not in big sur and there are people from the sur attending, you will most likely find them in a corner or somewhere out side not mingling with the others... so i got to poke some fun at them...

"hey, hey big sur! c'mon over, the party is happening over here!"

"hey, you all don't even smoke! why hang out all by your selves?"

"hey, big sur people!!! don't be afraid there are trees and hot tubs here too!"

i had a hoot! then i thought it would be a good idea to throw a bowl of almonds at them.. you know for fun. except i only hit one person in the shoulder. my ex. whoops, i did apologize and still received the same blank stare and glare. fuck you if you cant take a joke! its a party and we were all having fun!

stayed at home on Sunday. i was supposed to help out a friend, but when i called him at about nine a.m. he was already gone. shit i feel bad, and I'm sure he is bent. WTF can i do about it now?

so worked in the garden all day and did some moving of my own...

well got to get back to work already... hope your weekends were kind to you and enjoy the week! i think I'm going to take Friday off... hmm.

UPDATE.

"so, you know you can't take this truck out on the highway."

"i know, it has front end problems. i won't, i promise."

"the seat belts also don't work. it's not really safe to drive at all."

"i know i'm only driving it up and down the mountain."

"well in four wheel drive this thing is a fucking bitch to steer."

"i don't need four wheel drive."

okay, it's at this point i'm thinking to myself. WTF? its a dirt road that goes up a thousand feet in elevation in less than a mile!

"well don't drive it on the highway."

"fine, that's fine."

she starts and drives away. down the driveway and right turns out on to the highway. in my face! i lose again. hopefully she only kills herself and isn't picking up the kids to all fly off the mountain! fucking crack whores.

"i think its more of a moral issue than a safety issue." famous last words...

here is whats pissing me off today.

i walk up to the office today.

"you are not going to like this." says our front office manager.

"what?" i reply.

"they want to give the jimmy to I'm a bad mother and still cant get my shit together." she looks at me waiting for me to explode.

"no, no fucking way." i say firmly.

"well talk to boss 1 and 2. they said she could have it." she returned.

okay some history about that shit. the jimmy is this ancient truck we have that i have given to a buddy of mine who needs the engine. he hasn't picked it up yet and its still here in the yard. its a major death trap, it is coming unglued! the front end is barely hanging on, it shakes so bad on the road at twenty five it almost yanks you off it.

I'm a bad mother and still can't get my shit together, is a local woman here who is a complete fuck up. kindest heart, nice lady, but makes nothing but the wrong choices. bad, bad, bad decisions. she lives a mile up a dirt road. "can't get her kids down the hill." (i don't think they go to school or anything.) but she "needs" a car to get up and down the hill. plus they can walk! they are in their young teens. i would tell those little groms to get up early and walk their fucking asses down the hill.

"ummm, why would we give her this truck? it doesn't even drive." i ask.

"i dunno, we told her she could have it."his response, with out even looking up.

"no, I'll pop the fucking tires on it right now. it's not moving." I'm pissed. "why the hell do we want to put this women and her kids in the death box on a gnarly dirt road. i don't want fucking kids in this truck."

"she says she wont drive it on the highway." he looks at me with this blank stare.

"WTF are you talking about? she is going to go to town in it as soon as she pulls it out of the drive way!!" i storm out.

of all the stupid shit we could do to some one is help a fucking addict out with a way to get her shit. ( i don't know what she is into, but her boyfriend is one of our towns biggest losers! drugs, alcohol, etc. etc.)

aaarrrggghhh! I'm so pissed off. I'm gonna go and pop the fucking tires right now.

FUCKING SNIPERS

I FUCKING HATE YOU! ITS PRETTY MUCH MY FAULT. I DIDN'T MAKE SURE THAT MY LAST HIGHEST BID WAS ACCEPTED. DUMB. ONLY MY BID FROM YESTERDAY.... UGHHH... IDIOT...

RIGHT NOW.

well this next few minutes, I'll be pretending to work on my computer. I'm currently bidding on this picture here. yes, yes... another thing you all might not have known about me is that i also collect photography. nude photography... hmmm... now you might be thinking to yourself, "sweet I've been reading some perverts blog.." but no, sorry to disappoint you. I'm not a pervert. well... just not that way. go ahead, take a look at the picture. see. you want it too now don't you. don't bother bidding on it, i have set quite a high bidding price. and if you do win, you paid too much for it. all though Don Cramer is a great photographer, his shit isn't selling for that much yet. so wish me luck. hope all your weekends were terrific!

ooooohhhhhhhh........ forty minutes and counting. anybody else use ebay? i had to learn the hard way about a few things. like "don't get into a bidding war." and what the hell a "sniper" was. how sellers drive up there own prices and how they cheat you on shipping. whats real and whats not, how to check up on sellers and the merchandise. fun and exciting but I've wasted some money as well. i have bought some prints from a guy whose school and studio where just recently blown up by some crazy local war happening there... i have a limited print number which is now even more linited, because there is no way for him to make any more of that particular image because his negatives have all been, um, destroyed.... crazy no?

HMM... HOW DOES THIS WORK?

well a blogger that i read and have a link for, has a catch phrase contest, which i want to enter. but i am completely stumped on how she handles it. i am supposed to write my catch phrase on my site and link it back to hers.... anybody ever do this shit before? if she uses it,. she links her site back to mine. that is the reward. hmm... i don't give a shit about the traffic, but i think it would be cool to see it in her header anyway, this is what i think I'm supposed to do:

You didn't lose your girlfriend, you just lost your turn!

well hopefully it works. this little gem of a saying is a fairly standard one here in the sur. with such a small gene pool to choose from, it ends up being more of a swap meet than anything... small town, small choice of dating opportunities.

now if you have been here for a while you can probably trace back through all the people you have slept with and all the people they have slept with and so on until you reach some fairly bad realizations. you know what i mean, the amount of spit and semen shared in this town makes me want to burn it off with gasoline. or at least get a std check once a week. yuck. (just kidding) but, its the real deal here.

i have friends who just recently pretty much swapped sleeping partners, funny it is not. but kinda? i hope all is well in cyber land and talk to you soon. oh wait!

i had something else i wanted to say. i was just recently searching for some information on some people here. this is scary, the Internet provided me with such details that i could not believe. everything was available, copy's of everything. identity theft could be so unbelievably easy! WTF? so watch out what you put on here. what you sign and what sites you use... folks I'm not fucking shitting you!

WEEKEND IS COMING AGAIN!

i just wrote about two paragraphs ranting about what happened to me and special cheese yesterday. but i deleted it. seeing as how a course of action has now been taken that would well, better to not talk about those sorts of things here in the almost anonymous world.

so enjoy the weekend folks, make merry and be happy!

i plan on running water lines to the far reaches of the yard and making some great food! well and more. we are trying not to "party" so much in front of the younglings, not that we party too much or do anything illegal, but was just feeling the need not to consume so much beer and smoke so many cigarettes in front of them. we are having a sleep over tonight and i bought the last starwars for them to watch. we previewed it last night and I'm not quite sure how these movies appeal to kids.

I'm pretty sure they all sucked. hello? did anyone else notice how bad the acting was in the latest two films? i thought the fucking jar jar binks creature was better than the main dude. i swear i played video games on my cell phone through most of the scenes with whats his fuck in them.

ahh!!! I'm a dork all of a sudden, bitching about starwars... anyway, i am not quite sure that murdering children halfway through the movie was a smart move.....

six and a half more hours till a weekend of freedom!!! clean clothes, cold beer (in a glass, not in a can, so it looks like something else?) and hot sex all over the place! wait what did i just i say????

see you all soon, err... well, whatever.

WAIT, I JUST GOT SIDETRACKED...

while waiting for this page to load i was reading some of cnn's headlines... ugly, ugly place we live in eh?
anyway.... on with the un-news. long weekend was again another great one for me. sorry folks no bitching or suicidal thoughts in today's post. i know some of you all must be missing that shit but i had a good time this holiday.

pretty much status quo for Saturday and Sunday. lots of yard work and house clean up, but on Monday we were woken up to the neighbor at the door.

"hey man, you might wanna get up" he says, a bit ruffled from my pit bull jumping head high on the inside of the door to great him. (there were slobber marks at about five feet up.)

"no shit, whats up?" i replied pulling my pants on and trying not to breath to much in his direction...

"well, see that shit over there?" he said pointing east."that's smoke. there is a huge fire raging on skinner ridge. you might think about getting ready."

"oh, fuck.."what looked like thick fog was indeed a mess of smoke. i thought then said, "thanks man."

"hey no worries, you can come up to our place and watch the fireworks if you want, we will be around all day." he said as he headed back towards his motorcycle.

"so, do guys have water?" i asked."ours tank isn't quite full."

"no, my pump is down, I'm going to work on it now..." he left.

i woke up special cheese and we kinda milled around in a mild state of shock. made a few phone calls to people in the know and got out the binoculars and chairs to watch the scene.

a Buddie came over, we made lunch and had a few beers while the chem. bombing planes flew overhead and the choppers dumped water. we had the C.D.F. captains chopper fly right over us and let us know that he knew we were up there.

we listened to the scanner as they dropped in the hot shots and got everything under control. very exciting and nerve racking. nothing like the possibility of losing everything to get your heart pumping!

after buddy left, who we will call "buddy", (I'll post a link later, lunch is almost over...) we packed up, watched some of the day go by with a bottle of champagne down at the point. to celebrate our survival!

we got a wild hair shortly there after and drove down the road. snuck into the recently evacuated boyscout camp. (this place is huge! more like a retreat than a camp.) dared each other to jump into the river and drove past all the firefighters coming out of the woods on the way home.... great day, good times, sorry i have to cut this short, back to work!!!

I WILL BE BACK! I HAVE MUCH TO POST, BEEN WICKED BUSY AT WORK.(MY MAIN TIME TO POST.)
great weekend, skinny dipping, a huge fire across the canyon from us, house work, etc..
so stay tuned, i will be back!

weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck yeah! i cant wait! i get to sleep in! scratch my sack...(eeewww...) just joking sort of. and not have to put on the filthiest clothes known to man. i try to have at least three "out fits" to wear to work a week, but i tell you what, i work in shorts, i wear a t-shirt and a sweatshirt and they get gnarly! grease i can deal with, as with most grimes and dirts, but gear oil or any 80/90 weight makes me gag. it smells like cancer to me. not just nauseating but whole body experience feeling. its something you smell and you feel it killing you. its not as bad as say M.E.K. or toluene. but like i said, if cancer had a smell that would be it! and i have three days of not having to get anywhere near that kind of dirt! just good clean earthy dirt.

going to drink like a million beers in the sun with my lady this weekend and do some serious gardening. make some other shit happen up there and perhaps see a few friends, if not no worries! i don't think we have the girls tonight so i can walk around the house naked and we can have sex in any room we want! woo hoo!

sorry, I'm sure you all don't really want to hear about all of that, it just kind of came out.

I've been in kind of a funky mood lately, with small bouts of melancholy. tired. and not been able to blow by it. today i feel better. yesterday, special cheese really noticed and asked a couple of times "if i was okay"

started a new project and worked on it until way after dusk. (resurrecting my wood shed, actually combining two sheds to make one waterproof storage area.)and came back into the house in a much better mood. i don't know what it was but i was slumped and i broke free.

i haven't had those types of feelings since way back when. and am quite happy to leave them all back there.

so have a good , drunken, stoned, partied out weekend all of you. remember all the men and women who lost their lives fighting for what they were told to do. remember all those who came back, fucked up, disfigured and mentally blown out. remember its not a weekend to celebrate, its a weekend to enjoy our freedoms and to give thanks to those who do what they are told with out question in the name of American democracy.

i send my angels to those who have people in wars and to those who are dying as i write this......

(P.S. it's been two years since you left, not a day goes by where i dont look at your picture, think how you have helped me or mention your name at work. i sit at your old desk, i use your computer and i wear a shirt with your name on it. i miss you and know that you are one of these angels looking out for us... thank you helmuth, now i'll get back to work!)

BEEN SO BUSY ON THE PHONE ORDERING PARTS!!! fighting with these people we just brought our engine to. what is the fucking deal with these assholes, what now you have our forty thousand dollar engine and you are going to become insta-pricks? i can just as easily bring my potential twelve thousand dollars worth of business else where ass muncher!

i spend three days hustling this motor to you by seven a.m. on Monday, because you need to get it in there by that time to get it out to me in four days! you said four days!!! now you are telling me it might take a month. did they switch your Folgers coffee to bullshit? how do you expect me to swallow that crap. you might like the taste of some monkey ass felching, but i most certainly do not.

err... I'm a little bent out of shape at this jerk right now!

in other new... my land lord came up and was completely stoked on all the work we have been doing! he comped about 900 dollars in propane bills and "several hundred dollars in phone bills"! sweet! i was really nervous about some of the work we have done, and thought just for a moment that he might freak out, but no... instead he said "you should start thinking about winter and cut down some of these trees." WTF? this is the first landlord that wasn't trying to devise a way to kick me out as soon as i had moved in... and this one wants me to start thinking about winter! hah.

well i only had a minute or two, but lets call today "if i could reach thru the phone, i would choke the living shit out of you and piss in your ear day." enjoy the week.

TIME IS WHIPPING BY...

MORE ON THE PEOPLE THAT YOU MEEET, when you are walking down the street.... we will call her... kindly...

"quite confused" now i don't think I've talked about her much.... simply because we don't hang out in the same circles anymore. and i can't give you a link just yet cause i haven't found a post about her that i haven't used her name so I'll just let you in on what happening.

"q.c" used to be good friends, she dated a couple of our buddies and has had crushes on more than a few of us. then she started to turn a little weird.

she really made it her mission, to make every ones girlfriends jealous. i don't know if she does it on purpose or what... (but i think she knows exactly what the fuck she is doing.) sitting on their laps, trying to kiss them, calling dudes girlfriends saying she is going to hang out with them for lunch, "I love you hun..." etc. etc. etc....

it got to the point where i couldn't hang out with her any more. huge problems between my ex and her. she was always causing problems with me...

and now i hear that she is doing it to other people. my ex and her new boyfriend. my buddy choo choo is experiencing some problems as well. i need to sit down with these people and explain what fucking hell this woman put me through back in the day. and how to avoid it now.

i invited her over for a buddies un-birthday party a couple weeks ago. i knew if she didnty get the invite she would be really, really hurt. knowing what might be in store, i warned special cheese and tried to make it clear to her that this shit was not going to fly anymore... i do think she is a good friend and would do anything for any of us, if she could just stop this fucking hitting on others boyfriends and shit, she would get more invitations to come over.

if you are out there and someone like this is in your life... just tell her to cut that shit out. dont try to be nice, dont try to not hurt her feelings, if your lady or man is being stalked, you need to tell that person to stop meddling... its all i can tell you!!!

anyway, just thought of her this morning and wondered who shes stalking nowadaze... have a great week all!

ANOTHER NICK NAME

"DAY HOE" aka that guy who keeps fucking shit up.... everyday. day hoe is short for a Spanish word. pendeho. means shit head or asshole or something. and since his name has something to do with it that's what he gets... that's why we shortened it to just day hoe...

yesterday he asks me where i keep the trailer wiring connectors. he seems to have a problem with hooking up the main battery cables for the trailer box. this is like the fifth fucking set! now we have had some bad operators... NEVER has anyone even come close to having as many accidents as this guy.

"dude, where do you keep those red thingys?"

"why" i respond from my perch atop the six cylinder engine I'm ripping out of the concrete truck to have rebuilt.

"well it fell out again and got busted up."

"they don't just fall out, what the fuck are you doing? are you wrapping the wires up or something?"
"no, they do too fall out!" he stammers.

"no, they don't, we have never had this happen before, in ten years... only you." i retort. I'm pissed.

"whatever, where are they?"
"they are on the same shelf they were on when you lost the last one." i said, and "I'm not buying any more after this one. so fucking figure it out!"

twenty minutes later...

"dude the battery in the trailer box isn't charging anymore." he says as i whack my knuckles for the third time.I'm turning red!

"check the relay, since you dragged the battery cable, god knows how many miles, i bet it popped. go fucking reset it like last time when i showed you."

i can tell he isn't very happy with me. i care lots...

have a happy Friday!

HERE IS PART OF IT.

and some people have been written about before... so I've linked one story to each...

"SPECIAL CHEESE" is my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend. she has two girls ages 8 and 4. she works here in the sur and also goes to school where she is top three in her classes. she has a great dog, (if you don't count the fact that he likes to shit and puke in our house at the most random of times...) and she is a really happy person. she doesn't want to be too well known in here, so, more to come later as it happens.

"CHOO CHOO" aka denim, tranny, etc, etc.... has been my buddy for years... we would sit out in the parking lot and watch traffic go by drinking beer, until the very last moments before he had to go home... he reads here and sometimes lays down a comment or two... bitch i see you reading here... hahahha... we have been through quite a bit together and will probably end up sleeping together at some point... just joking, i hear he has a huge...

beard. hahahahaha!!!

anyway that's just the beginning... some people don't want to be known here at all... others Ive posted about about don't even have the need to be labeled... but when i talk about these individuals I'll try to put a link on their name to a story I've posted before...

must get back to work, its fucking hot out and i need to be kicking some ass... we have a truck down that's going to be losing money every minute i sit in here blogging.

NEED TO KEEP IT ALL STRAIGHT

SO.... i need to keep my nick names for people the same, so that my long term readers can get an idea of who the hell i keep talking about... thanks to "choo choo" i have realized this... I'll be back later with a possible list of suspects...

YYYAAAWWWWNNNNN.....

so fucking tired and sore. yah, poor me. we got home last night and immediately started working in the garden. we are building a retaining wall four feet high so we can put two in more raised beds. well sounds easy enough. after moving about two yards of dirt, chainsawing ten inch thick roots out of the way and leveling off a fifteen foot long stretch of area we began the retaining wall process...

dig through four feet of decomposed granite and mix up a 60 pound bags of cement, level the post and pour the concrete. WTF? i barley even know how to use a shovel, more over a post hole digger... why did we start this project? cause we are fucking crazy! so we dug and set three posts and today will put in the wall! level the dirt and make the walkway. we will set the new raised beds in place and tomorrow fill them with dirt and plant the broccoli and pees and beans we have slated for them... later we will fill the paths in with gravel and make steps...

why do we do this you ask? i dunno... it is fun. we transformed this large hill side dirt area into a nice garden... we have three different kinds of tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, two different kinds of lettuce, three different varieties of peppers, water melons, honey dews, carrots and more....

we started an herb garden as well.... complete with garlic, basil, two different mints, chives, dill, parsley and more...

with the new beds there will be so much shit growing... damn, when i write it all out it sounds like alot... i guess it is.

this is on top of all the flowers and other plants we are fucking growing too! whew...

we drove down to the point and caught the ass end of the sun set and the neighbors were out at their point playing guitar, singing "this will be the day that i die...." nice.

so my fucking arms hurt, my knees hurt, i wont even begin to describe what my back is doing and i have all these muscles aching that i didn't even know i had... my hands hurt!?!?! and of course my head hurts... don't think we weren't sucking down the beer while doing all of this....

so after sunset we clean up and make some dinner... saute some mushrooms and onions, threw in some leeks that the girls brought from their garden at school for mothers day and mix that into the tomato basil red sauce for spaghetti. cook up some killer deer sausage that a friend from work hooked me up with and made a bomb ass salad! special cheese has a great way with salads. she puts in a couple of hard boiled eggs with some sliced green onion, Roma tomatoes, mushrooms and more... a little paprika and some honey mustard dressing... we busted out some home made garlic bread to top it off... i could tell you how i make that but i would be giving away my secret recipe for the garlic butter. (hahahaha too bad for you!)

once we sat down to eat we realized it was about ten thirty... sucked the food down like a vacuum cleaner... i hadn't eaten all day so i went to bed fat... really fat...

anyway, twas a great day and even though it was like a sixteen hour day of work, it felt good... i hope everyone week is going well and in the words of our govenator... "I'll be back!"

not only can she sing... but she can fucking dance too!!!! we had people coming up to us and ask us if we were professional dancers! ha! even the band gave us kudos! that never happens... and no one really believes us anyway...

okay, we went to a show up in San Fran with the intent of dancing our asses off, and did we ever!

(this will be a lame post as i am super hung over right now...)

special cheeses brother came over last night and we drank until one this morning... used every shot glass in the house and drank almost all the beer. i usually keep alot of beer in the house so you could imagine the surprise when i realised we were running low! now I'm suffering through the day and being dumbfounded by the stupidest thing... i cant get a lug nut off?! wtf?

anyway this weekend was killer, dancing in the city was by far some of the most fun we have had in a while. killer venue, great American music hall, its all decked out old school style and for some reason we were pretty much the only ones tearing it up... lots of older folks... the second band was "the waybacks" . they played some lame shit, but we could dance to some of it. the first band was who we went to see, poor mans whiskey , belted out some wicked tunes! the did a version of mojo rising, blue grass style. it was truly an epic time.

spent the night at a friends condo and left the next morning.

drove down the coast and relaxed for the rest of the day!

spent mothers day at the nursery buying herbs and shit. built another planter box and hooked it up with my patented auto irrigation.... sweet. special cheese cooked us up a great dinner and we partied like you wouldn't believe! (well, we played rummy for a while and then an exciting game of clue!) hahahahaha... lame i know, but we had fun...

well I'm fuckin beat and need to get back to work! sorry for the lame post but at least i left you some fun links!!!

WTF JUST HAPPENED....

THIS MORNING AT WORK GOES DOWN LIKE ANY OTHER.... (shit caps. again.) everyone getting coffee, trying to find out where they are going, shooting the shit, etc. etc. I'm in the office with some folks and we start talking with one of our younger, harder working guys... telling him about our 401k profit sharing plan... (its a super good deal.) well, as always we start joking around with him about how his retirement plan is to have a bunch of kids and live off of them... so its seems like a good joke. we were really just fucking with him.
normally he is always cracking the old guy jokes and is very intent on having the last word. if you "one up" him, he usually resorts to some sort of "fucking your girlfriend" or " well, at least I'm not old" type of humor... ooohhhh... I've never heard any of those jokes before... they really bother me... not...i digress.
so this morning is like any other. lots of back and forth about "you are young" and "you are too old" and then he seems to change. takes a stab at me with...

"well, at least i have a family!"he says

"whoa dude, calm down. no one is ripping on your family."

he is super sensitive about his mom and family... i can understand that. over sensitive about being thought of as incapable. the guy works his ass off.. i mean shit, this guy is the ripe old age of twenty one and has an girlfriend who has to be at least nineteen... he is young and proud of it. I'd be and was too. anyway..

"I'm fucking outta here. fuck you, fuck you, and Zack... fuck you too!" he says as he tears his sweatshirt off ready to fight and pointing at the people standing around him.

"hey man, no one is trying to make you feel bad. but if you want to go home that's fine. we were just trying to get you on board with the 401k." says manager #2

he starts walking over to the truck to get a smoke with fists clenched and saying "fuck you!"

what ever, punch me in the face when we are on the clock you ding dong... that doesn't go well for any of us. we are such good friends, i don't know where he popped a gasket this morning but for a guy who dishes out so much shit, he sure wasn't handling it.
now i could have taken offense at what he said to me about my mom. as you know she killed her self not too long ago. i might have let it hurt. but i hear that "I'd commit suicide" shit so often, whatever... anyone of us could have taken offense to the things he was saying, but hey its what we do here. we are a family. we do tear each other apart and we do build each other back up. thats the life here.
so guess what? we are all sorry we offended you some how, we said it and that's final. we wont do it again. but i tell you what. you pull this i can get angry and spite you bullshit with anyone else here from now on, you can go home... it just might be a little different.

wait... i hear the wambulance coming.... waaaahhhaaahhhaaawwwaaaa....

nah. just kidding...
anyway, going up to San Francisco tonight! going to see a concert and spend the night at a friends condo. (thank you l+d) they wont be there so we will be sure not to sleep in their bed. no sleeping! hahahaa... then we will come back and hopefully load up the car and drive three hours in the other direction and go camping!
hope all is well with every one out in the "real world" and have a great weekend!

WHERE ARE YOU?

hey tasha, give me a buzz... what happened with the blog... people find out? sux... call me!

FUCKING PERVERTS...

HOW DO PEOPLE LOOK FOR KIDDEE PORN AND FIND MY BLOG? BELGIUM YA YOU! WEIRDO FUCK, LOOKED AT MY BLOG FOR TEN MINUTES YOU DID!!! AND YOU WERE SEARCHING FOR "AMATURE PRETEEN PORN PICTURES"... WACKO...

YOU MAKE MY SKIN CRAWL....

BUT YOU WERE NOT THE ONLY ONE... YES, YOU FROM FRANCE, YOU WERE LOGGED ON TO YOUR WEBSITE WHEN YOU LOOKED AT MINE... IDIOT. WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR WAS EVEN WORSE. FECAL WHAT? I DON'T READ FRENCH AND IT LOOKS LIKE I DON'T WANT TO! BURN IN HELL....

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BURN MY ALREADY CRAWLING SKIN OFF....

BUT WHO EVER YOU ARE IN PENNSYLVANIA, YOU ARE THE WORST.... (AT LEAST TODAY...) I WONT EVEN REWRITE WHAT YOU GOOGLED TO GET TO ME... I DON'T WANT OTHERS FROM YOUR END OF THE BARREL COMING UP FOR AIR AT MY WEB SITE.....

SHHHEEEESSSHHHH.....

YUCK, I NOW NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH AND CLEAN MY SKIN OFF WITH SOME GASOLINE...

KNOW THAT I AM WATCHING YOU...

HMMMM...

WE ARE FINALLY HAVING WORK EVALUATIONS!!! some people have been getting moody about it. others are taking the time to learn from it and ask for the help they want to become better employees. I'm in my office overhearing a meeting right now. this one has a translator. he is a good worker when the bosses are around. but no one likes to work with him any more. we have given him a little more responsibility then some of the others. and he is now abusing it. when the bosses are not around he takes it upon himself to be the boss.... bad. bad. bad... try again, so he is(with the help of an interpreter) being very defensive. and he is lieing. busted... oh well too bad for him... i hope it goes well.

we had a bit of an unbirthday party for denim. i hope he had a good time. its hard to get people to drive all the way up to my house to party. i live a whole eighteen minutes from the highway. granted some people might think its quite a mission but its not really.. i took yesterday off because i think the hang over induced a migraine, but i could have just been hung over too...

the sheriff (ex-sheriff) just called me. one of our fire engines here in the sur has an electrical problem, "can you fix it?". you all didn't know i also donate my time to work on our town fire engines did you? well i do. no big deal. i like it better when i get the calls at work, i get paid and we donate the time. its a good deal. when they call me after five or on weekends, i work for free...

going to the city on Friday night. going to see a couple of blue grass bands at a cool venue, and hopefully do some dancing!!!

shit got to go be back soon...

MORE ON THE WEEKEND...

SO REALLY NOT MUCH MORE TO TELL, lets see... welding buddy broke his foot, you guessed it, drunken biking... he is a tough one. so i don't think it will slow him down. actually he felt best with his boots tightly strapped on and riding...
oh, i had mentioned teaching special cheese how to ride. it was cool... it went something like this...
"okay, that's the clutch, that's the brake. this is how you give it gas... it works just like a car... now down is first gear and up is all the rest... got it?" i asked
"uh, yeah..." she replies...
"all right, go!"

sure as shit she fires off, after one round across the field she grabs second and is racing little kids who are riding teeny weeny fifty's and go-karts...
now we are talking about getting a couple more little bikes for her girls.. move over big wheel and lame Costco mountain bike and bring on the Honda's!!! sweet!
lake trips, filled with boating and laying in the sun and of course some drinking. camping trips, filled with well, camping. and wouldn't it be sweet if we got some dirt bikes too! no shit... too much fun!!! now we just have to find time to squeeze it all in!

what else happened... not much. stopped at her grandmas and had a late brunch on our way home and basically passed the fuck out when we got home...

of course my back hurts and i don't feel like being at work, but what else is new? hope alls well with every ones weeks.

oh yeah, here is a link to the Nakamotos lame space page from last year. the real party that they sponser is coming up in june. anyone like drinking all day, listening to some crazy bands, swimming in a small lake, and generally getting ff-ed up all weekend? its happening again. (the bands last year could pretty much lick my.. um... well... i tried not to listen to them... any way its red neck, back country, good times... with some who the hell are you thrown in for good measure....

HAHAHAHAHAHA....

I CANT HELP MY SELF, I'M A COMPLETE FUN ADDICT! I CANT SPELL FOR SHIT OR PUNCTUATE BUT I LOVE HAVING FUN...
this weekend we packed up the Toyota Tacoma and headed south. two dogs, a dirt bike, two coolers, a big tent, a Cali king air mattress, (yes they make them) and some swim trunks.... after a two and a half hour drive down a mountain, along the west coast and up another mountain and finally down another mountain we end up at the nacarobie... (id link a site to his but I'm on a mac and this this is hella confusing...) anyway, we show up after dark and there are none of the other women there that i promised my girlfriend that would be there. shit. fifteen dudes. she gracefully rolls with it. WE set up THE tent and start drinking... hit the sack,Zack,err you get the picture...
its at this point i should partially describe where we are... we are on a ranch of sorts... imagine the first people to come across the country to settle here, well these good people have a little bit more than they did. they still have fire heated water heaters... donkeys, no cell phones, homemade everything... getting it?
so throughout the night while we are trying to sleep, the donkeys have discovered that the dogs will fuck with them non stop with the slightest of prodding. every thirty/forty minutes the dogs would bark right next to the tent and chase these fucking mules all around..... errr... there was going to be murder, death, kill (m.d.k.) happening soon.
next day was filled with breakfast beers, too much food, swimming in the cold ass lake, motoring around the track, etc...
some highlights? okay, one of the kids brought a go-kart. we all tried it, too much fun... but it was the kids who got the thing air born and rolled it!!!! yes!!! a six year boy was showing off for a girl and rolled his buddies go-kart!with her in it! so romantic... sound somewhat familiar? anyone?
there were several injuries, but late on Saturday we get a need to go and find this other buddy. he rolled his super powered quad onto him self and it sounded like he was fucked up pretty bad... he was fucked up all right. drunk as piss, later he fessed up to taking some oxy-contin.. (what ever the fuck that does to you, it might not be a good idea to drive 70mph on a quad while drinking...)
now let me interject here.... I'm a true asshole, crashed cars, too many drugs, lived life with reckless abandon, so i have no room to talk here. but shit... i felt old for a moment... talking so much shit.
so what did i do while driving him down the mountain back to camp???
"dude, do you like techno?" i asked.
"uh what? yeah. can you slow down i think i broke some bones...." he winced and slurred.
"good, i have some remix shit. want a beer." i said. then. "guess what? you fucked up. its like five hours before you see a hospital so suck it up."
"what time is it?" he asked.
he asked this question alot. i think even though he was in full racing protective gear he had a concussion.
"i dunno, want another beer?"
"dude i did some oxy, do think I'm going to be okay?"he asked
"your an idiot... its a good thing we have a fireman here with first responder training... drugs? your an idiot. hey want another beer?"
"dude what time is it?"...
Buddie is worth like ten million dollars, getting divorced from his new wife, and all this before the age of thirty...
another high light? i taught special cheese how to ride a dirt bike!!!! wicked!!!!

all right ill post more tomorrow.... granted nobody breaks any thing at work....

SHIT...

THAT LAST POST WAS MY TWO HUNDRETH POSTING!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CELEBRATE OR SOME SHIT... I SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION! I GUESS I WROTE A LOT OF POOR ME, LISTEN TO ME BITCH AND WHINE CRAP ON HERE, BUT FUCK IT, IT FUN!!!!!!! HAPPY DAY TO ALL!

OH, I PROMISE TO WRITE ABOUT THIS WEEKEND, SUPER FUN!!! BETWEEN THE DRUNKEN MOTOR CYCLE ACCIDENTS, THE HARRASING OF THE TWO MULES AND THREE GOATS, THE MORONS WHO SHOWED UP FROM DOWN SOUTH AND THE BAZILLION DOGS AND KIDS THERE I MIGHT FIND SOMETHING INTERESTING TO WRITE ABOUT...

ITS RAINING HERE NOW AND IVE GOT TO GO COVER UP THE CEMENT TRUCK SO I'LL CATCH ALL LATER...

WOO HOOOOO... 200!!!

quick....

so yesterday, i need to find out what size suit i wear...

we head over to gentleman's warehouse to see if someone can help me out... apparently and very generously my friends dad is buying us all suits to wear before the wedding!?!?! sweet. i don't even know what to say... other than i don't own a nice suit and am fucking stoked that anyone would even think that much of me to offer one... any way...

we hit Starbucks and march over to the map of madness...

"where the hell is it?" i ask " i swear there was one here before..."

"look at the map here, it has all the stores in the mall." is her reply.

"see" she says "its right in front of us."

no shit, there it was, big ass sign above the door... "Gentleman's Warehouse".

"i did spend an hour here last week looking for this store..."

i cruise in and ask the first well dressed man wearing a tape measure around his neck if he could help me...

a few minutes later he has me measured up and trying on jackets... this guy is good. nice to me too. seeing as how i just had gotten out of work, driven to his store and changed in his parking lot, he was nice. and i DID look like i had crawled out from under a dump truck...

i found out that I'm a 42 regular, due to my shoulders a European suit fits me best. i guess that has no vents or vents on the side. he offered to, once i received the suit, to help me have it tailored to me. (fucking nice of this guy. i wasn't even buying a suit there...) i asked him to write down everything he said and he offered me his card. as he slide his card into my hand i deftly slid a five dollar bill back into his before he pulled it away.

he looks at it and says "oh no, i couldn't." and tries to hand it back.

"i insist. please you helped out alot and i really appreciate it. thank you."

"no, absolutely not. please take it back." his reply. he seemed quite confused at the tip and my appreciation.

"no one works for free, i don't and you shouldn't have to either, really thank you very much..." i smiled and walked out.

i look back into the store and he waved and smiled back.

i dunno, shouldn't you tip people in the service industry? the guy wasn't making any commission from me and spent the better part of twenty minutes letting me try on six hundred dollar jackets...

i call my buddies machine give him my info and sure as shit on the front of his business card, it lists my nice guy suit size helper outer friend as the stores regional manager... huh...