TODAY IS THE MORNING OF DAY FOUR...NOT DRINKING THAT IS... IM ONLY SHOOTING FOR A WEEK TO START THE SLOW DECLINE OF QUITTING SMOKING AND REDUCING STRESS...DRINKING IS SOMETHING THAT HAS BECOME SYNONYMOUS WITH "ZACK" (WHO EVER THAT GUY REALLY IS) STOP DRINKING TO QUIT SMOKING? WELL DRINKING IS ALWAYS BEEN SOMETHING IVE FELT IVE HAD CONTROL OVER, SO IF I CAN REASSURE MYSELF THAT I CAN DO THAT...I CAN COULD MIGHT POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO STOP SMOKING FOR A WEEK NEXT? MAY BE? AND DRINKING THE WAY I DO CANT POSSIBLY BE A STRESS RELIEF? WHAT? WELL I DONT CARE WHAT THE PEOPLE ARE SAYING...I KNOW IT HAS TO STOP... IT WILL BE TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF SMOKING SOON AND I DONT WANT IT ANY MORE... CONSTANT CHOICES IS RINGING SOMEWHERE IN HERE...I DONT!!! SO ALL YOU NON BELIEVERS OUT THERE CAN FUCK OFF!!! "CHANGE MY ROUTINE" SOME ONE SAID...WELL IVE BEEN SHOWING UP TO WORK EARLY AND NOT GOING HOME TO CRACK A BEER RIGHT AWAY AND AM GETTING READY TO EXCHANGE A FEW HABITS FOR SOMETHING ELSE HEALTHY...JUST A FEW...MY HANDS STARTED SHAKING THIS MORNING BUT I THINK ITS THE COFFEE IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRINKING...TWO CUPS OF BLAZE COFFEE WILL MAKE ANY BODYS SYSTEM SHUDDER...TODAY IS ALSO A BIG DAY ON THE SEARCHING FOR A HOUSE FRONT...THE LAND OWNER FOR THE HOUSE I WANT TO LIVE IN IS COMING INTO TOWN THIS AFTER NOON..SHIT...IM NOT NERVOUS BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE IT TO FUCKING WORK OUT!!! SO THERES THAT... I THINK ILL STRESS THE FUCK OUT ABOUT THAT LATER THIS AFTER NOON... TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE THIS MORNING ALREADY...AGHHH...WRITING THIS DOWN IS MAKING MY HEART PUMP...SLOW DOWN...PEOPLE HERE AT WORK MUST THINK IM WIERD AS SHIT POUNDING AWAY AT THESE KEYS THEN STOPPING AND TAKING DEEP BREATHS...HA HA HA...I AM SATANS EARTH BORN CHILD!!!WHAT??? WHERE DID HE COME OUT FROM...STUFF THAT GUY BACK INTO HIS BOX...WEIRD...BUT REALLY DAY FOUR AND NO MAJOR ISSUES YET...EVEN SAT AT THE LOCAL BAR LAST NIGHT AND ORDERED JUST A BURGER...LITTLE TESTS, I LIKE IT... THE WEEKEND IS COMING THOUGH SO WE WILL SEE...ALREADY A FEW FRIENDS HAVE BEEN SUPPORTIVE... I ALSO HAVE A FRIEND THAT MAKES IT ALL SEEM NORMAL...(WHAT EVER THAT MEANS, SHE JUST HAS A WAY OF MAKING IT ALL SHINY AND NOT SO DARK...)WELL FUCK IT...BACK TO THE GRIND...
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