TWO DEAD...

SO I COULD WRITE THIS LONG EXPLANATION OF WHAT HAPPENED BUT I DONT WANT TO... HE WORKED HERE...FOR THREE SUMMERS NOW... TWO FOR ME... NICE KID... DIDNT WANT TO WORK TOO HARD BUT WHO REALLY DOES ON A SUMMER JOB YOU DONT WANT TO HAVE... I KNOW, I FEEL IT TO... BUT THEY DIED..TWO OF THEM... JUST KIDS, JUST TWO DAYS AGO..ON THE ROCKS OF BIG SUR... FUCKING WEST OF ONE CLUB... I HATE IT... I CANT SEEM TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH OUT LETTING EVERYONE IN THE ROOM KNOW THAT ITS AFFECTING ME... WHY??? I DONT KNOW.. I WASNT TOO CLOSE WITH HIM, BUT I FEEL IT... LITTLE HEATHER CAME IN YESTERDAY DAY AND WE BOTH SAT AND CRIED FOR A WHILE... THERE IS NO EASY WAY TO TELL PEOPLE... I TOLD JANET AT RIVER INN AND SHE STARTED CRYING LIKE YOU WOULDN'T EVER WANT TO SEE... I JUST SAT THERE.. IN MY OWN DESPAIR... IM NOT GOOD AT CONSOLING PEOPLE... I HATED IT WHEN PEOPLE WERE TRYING TO DO IT TO ME... I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH BUT I GUESS I CAN RELATE... I WANT TO JUMP UP AND HOLD THEM BUT I DONT... I CANT.. KIDS SHOW THEIR EMOTION ON THE OUTSIDE... BUT THEY HAVE LESS UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT ALL MEANS... (SOME KIDS) I WISH I COULD HELP THEM... THAT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE, BUT IM TRYING...

ON THE NEWS THEY SHOWED HIS DAD...AFTER SEVENTEEN HOURS OF RESCUE ATTEMPTS, THEY FINALLY BRING THE BODIES UP...TWO OF THEM... AND THERE IS HIS FATHER, HELPING PULL THE ROPE UP, UP, UP THE FOUR HUNDRED FEET OF CLIFF... THEY JUST SHOW HIS BACK AND I CAN SEE RIGHT INTO THIS MAN... HIS SHOULDERS HUNCHED OVER AND PULLING WITH ALL HIS STRENGTH... THE STRENGTH OF A MAN WHO IS GOING TO SEE HIS SON FOR THE LAST TIME... I WATCHED THE CLIP A FEW TIMES MORE... I KNOW THIS PAIN FOR SOME REASON... WITH DEATH YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE FOR YOUR SELF... AND HE WANTED TO SEE... JUST TO BE A PART AND NOT WAIT AT HOME FOR A PHONE CALL... THIS MANS MUSCLES HAD GUILT IN THEM... FOR SOME REASON HE FEELS ITS HIS FAULT... HE COULDNT EVEN TALK WITH THE RESCUERS...JUST WANTED TO WORK, TO BE A PART OF THE LAST FEW MOMENTS OF HIS SONS LIFE... ITS KILLING ME, THAT IMAGE WILL NOW FOREVER BE BURNED INTO ME... IM SORRY FOR YOU SIR... I NEVER SAY IM SORRY WHEN PEOPLE DIE, BUT I AM SORRY FOR THIS MAN... I SOMEHOW KNOW HIS PAIN...

I DIDNT KNOW THE OTHER BOY BUT I HAVE SEEN HIM BEFORE...HE WAS JUST HERE IN THE YARD ON MONDAY I THINK... THE NEWS WILL BLOW THIS UP AND THEN IT WILL ALL FADE...LIKE LAST YEARS DEATHS IN THE VALLEY...HOW ABOUT A COUPLE YEARS AGO WHEN NATS BOYFRIEND DIED... ALL THAT SEEMS TO FADE... NOT FOR THE PARENTS, OR MAYBE JUST NOT THAT SOON... I HATE IT... DEATH... BUT SOMETIMES I SEEM TO WANT IT SO BADLY... BUT TIMES LIKE THESE I AM THANKFUL FOR MY LIFE AND THAT IT WASNT ME...AND THANKFUL THAT MY FATHER IS NOT ON THE END OF THE ROPE PULLING ME UP WITH MY FRIENDS...

I WISH THAT THESE BOYS WOULD TAKE MY ANGELS AS THEIR OWN AND BE FREE FROM THE PAIN OF THIS WORLD... I HOPE IT WAS QUICK(ALTHOUGH I HEARD OTHERWISE) I JUST HOPE THEIR SUFFERING WAS SHORT... HOW DOES IT GO.." ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG" FUCKING HELL... WHY HAS THIS AFFECTED ME SO...