THINGS I WAS A PART OF TODAY...

tHIS POST WAS HEAVILY EDITED... I STARTED TO OFFEND EVERYONE. SO I WACKED OUT ABOUT HALF OF THIS DRUNKIN RANT AFTER READING IT AGAIN THIS MORNING...

No shit, Interesting day I say... Where do i start? I'll start at midnight this morning...

Buddies house, Hot tub... Ring a bell, nice... Water was a little low, so the jets were going nuts when they breached the upper edge, but it was nice to sit outdoors in the semi-rain with someone who likes you...
HMMMM...

"Wash" off the chlorine and scrub down in the shower afterwards, spent enough time in there to empty the water heater.... (heh)..... Found a note that said that "BUDDY" and his girlfriend were at the neighbors...

We go to the neighbors house, (its now around one a.m.) sneak up to the door and pretend to be cops....

I pound heavy on the door. "Open up it's the police!" In that oh so official voice...
Movement from inside... Scuffling, and some quiet voices...
Door opens....

So are the arms and good vibes!!!!
We are actually at a cops house, so the joke was not as appreciated as it would have been anywhere else....

To tell the truth we were at a friends house. She is a senior park ranger. (carries guns, automatics and a shotgun. In the patrol car type, asides from the holstered 9-mm. and secret one she hides else where. she is packing) Her hubby is a nurse at the upscale hospital in town as well as a park aid... (Got to have multiple jobs in this town if you want to live here... Can you say spendy?)

(Its at this point I can no longer hold back and have to say I'm a little angsty, have had a few beers and a shot of Yeagermeister this evening.) I digress...

We hang long enough there to watch our friendly ranger go to bed and we leave politely and drunk shortly there after.... on our way home we stop at the local bar. (The premise there was to return a kids movie I rented days before and to have a last drink...) Yes, our town is so small that the bars here double as movie rental stores, ice cream shops, general stores and gas stations.... What ever it takes to fleece the average tourist of all the money they can. We see some locals and feel the vibe there is weird... We give a shit, there really isn't much here that can affect us. We have fun! drive home and....

Three a.m. manage to pass out...

Wake up, spend the morning and early afternoon in bed.... Coffee, leftover pizza and such. I get "what did you do to me, I cant feel my legs" to work, eighteen minutes late. Oops! I chase down some mud to do a few doughnuts in,(that's where you drive around in mud and throw dirt up all over the place like a teenager with his/her first car. I'm still a kid a heart.) "Simple pleasures" ring a bell...

Then listened to my messages...

"Dude, I'm having people over tonight but I've invited other people..." "BUDDY" says.

This means people are invited that don't like me. I'll say this for BUDDY, he is my friend, (he is doing the best he can. in a situation where he is trying to be friends with two people who do not get along anymore.) Kudos bro.

Then there were two messages from yesterday... not important.

So i roll over to BUDDIES house... I was welcomed with open arms. a beer as i walk in, a bag of homemade jerky is presented to me as i read through the latest issue of "Shooter" magazine. A hardly used scented candle as a gift and a blow job... (Ha ha ha! just kidding.) I wouldn't want a blow job from BUDDY, I hear he likes to bite! (More jokes!!)

So, some readers might be getting bored by this point in my day... TFB. Go watch T.V. I don't even know whats on. So I cant slander you. Is real world still going? How bout shark week? Pimp my ride? Fuck it, beat it... I've had four blips since I've stated writing.... Don't know what that means? You don't read here enough... Go watch football reruns.

While I'm sitting, enjoying BUDDIES cheap beer and watching "The Scorpion King" on his uber expensive flat screen a car pulls up.

"Dude, my GUESTS are arriving... uhhh... what are you going to do?" He is obviously uncomfortable.

"What? Oh... I'm going to finish my beer and then I'm fuckin out of here." I casually say.

"Oh, okay, I'll see what they are going to do..." He leaves. Goes outside and his girlfriend looks at me hopelessly.

I turn red, Embarrassment sets in. "Fuck it" I say "I'm outta here. "you suck!" I say to myself.

Outside I go and "huge tits with no class" has pulled up. I grab a few beers from the stack and try to split...

"Yo Z!!!" I hear, From the shit box subaru passenger window...

Two old buddies jump out and we all go through the pleasantries... Don't let me belittle them here.... We talk to each other for a while and get back into the sort of friendly chat that we all used to have... To tell you the truth, it was really nice... Yes, it was the circumstance of us all being in the same place at the same time, but it felt like old times...

Huge tits with no class starts calling out for her boyfriend after a couple minutes...(She went right inside when she noticed me... Too many mammories not enough memories to have any respect for me or herself.) Boyfriend actually stayed outside for a few more minutes... Cool, a sliver of something real for me... Thanx boys, I'll remember that!

Want to be friends with every one? Possible.... Want to not offend someone? Not possible.. Sorry, tonight that sucked. Huge tits? I don't have them, do I care? No!

You thought someone else was coming over.... She didn't, Saw her at Fern wood with "holiday"... In arms... hahaha... Predictable...They left, so did I, Then they rolled up to River Inn, saw me again and then burnt tire to go up to apple pie....

So here I sit waiting for the best part of my life to show up... Watching people park next to my truck and get the shit knocked scared into them by my over aggressive, super friendly when I'm there, pit bull...

How does it go??? "Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives...." That's a T.V. reference,,, Soap opera style....