Monday, February 09, 2009

WEEKEND HAS COME AND GONE...

with a title like that there would normally be a list of everything i did this weekend that you did not... nothing against you or overly boasting about me (although thats pretty much what i do here) but that has been the norm... something that all of us could rely on... me boasting about some teriffic weekend filled with parties and naked women, chocolate filled swimming pools, playboy bunnies, yeagermiester shots and threesomes with obama... alas even though i had one of those weekend i will not be reporting about it.

instead i will rub my crystal balls and speculate as to what you all may have done with yourselves since friday... 

*rubs balls and needs a moment*

ahem...

*tries again*

well now arent we an eager beaver?!?!?

*one last time, he believes the third time is the charm he looks into his crystal balls and sees the clouds disappear revealing the secrets of his loyal and most revered followers*

i see someone doing their taxes... wait there is more... this person is doing their taxes while watching t.v. in their kitchen.....

i see someone freshly back from the grocery store, unloading supplies and putting their "work mickey" in to their briefcase for Monday...

what do we have here??? someone has brought work home with them this weekend and is just now getting it accomplished... 

oh yes... these images are very convoluted... *rubs crystal balls extra hard to see though the haze* hmmmm.... there must be more than one of you dealing with sickness in the family... yes, yes... there is one of you out the with mud butt in the family... another is dealing with a fever... several of you are dealing with family members already planning to not get up on time come Monday morning....

*takes moment to channel voices and is obviously looking drained from speaking with the undead*

i foresee someone having an unexpected wild night out on Monday evening...

i for see this wild night out ending in an awkward moment for some one else come Tuesday morning...

the voices are telling me that work sucks for some one... 
*rubs temples and begins speaking in tongues* 
its like a chorus on a baptist Sunday! there seems to be twenty or so different solos in this musical, each one expressing how much they hate their jobs... but all coming together to sound as one...

*wakes self up and bolts into an upright position , looks around to see many people other  are looking on with his uncanny visions. then promptly passes out in the lap of the most beautiful cheese  he has ever seen*

so yes.... the weekend has come and gone.... let us know what else you've done this weekend!!!

19 comments:

Leah said...

Holy shit, Zack--"family members already planning to not get up on time come Monday morning"--how could you possibly have known that? You're a freaking mystic, that's what you are.

hahaha, this was hilarious!!!

kylie said...

brilliant post z

i think that was me with the shopping

MJ said...

*hides work hip flask discreetly under petticoat*

Gig said...

grocery shopping and taxes, hmmm...I think this little sideline of yours could be profitable for you.

Check those "crystal balls" to see when the "snow" disappears,lol!

Megan said...

But, but, I haven't even friended you on facebook yet!

Leah said...

Wait, can I claim the wild night out and the ensuing awkward moment? That sounds great.

Ducking Little said...

I made friends with a guy I've officially disliked since we were 18. We are both in our 30s and I just covertly dislike him now. Makes me feel good about myself, yet devious. But what does it all mean?

Anonymous said...

You are a noodle face.

Anonymous said...

You are a noodle face.

denim said...

3somes with obama.

that's funny. i get it. hooray me!

Mr. Shife said...

I joined NAMBLA - The National Association of Marlon Brando look-alikes.

Alice said...

Very good...all of those things happened this weekend...funny stuff

Leni Qinan said...

(*sighs and whispers*) ... shopping for Valentine Day's presents and delicacies/wine for a romantic dinner.

cher said...

Weird, I joined NAMBLA too...

But they came to me as I spent the weekend on the toilet

kylie said...

hey you should visit my place. i think that post was just for you.
you dont have to visit everyone. just me.

cheers

Walker said...

I just played with my balls and let it go at that.
I hope this weekend you will have lots to do and talk about

FirstNations said...

I got someones balls all fogged up and saw you, Voices.

TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!

INNER VOICES said...

leah, i'll continue mystifying you with new posts soon as well!! muwhahaha...

kylie, keep up the good, ahem, work!

mj, *gets a peek at mjs petticoat and smiles* are those little rainbows i see?!?

gig, *rubs crystal balls* i see lots more white stuff coming your way...

meg, im trying to only have one online vice these days... ive given it all up for blogging..

leah, its all yours!!! heh heh.

ducking little!!! welcome tot the voices, sorry i have not commented back for a while, the subterfuge of which you speak is in respect for your innate abilities of mind control as well... your seemingly harmless "re-friendship" is all part of your plan to take over the world! i'll be stopping by soon...

anon, its all about my noodle face...

denim, OOOOOHHH bama!!!! heh heh...

SHIFE, ive been accused of being mexican lately... is that good or bad?!?

alice, so then... how was your morning after?!?!

leni.... howd it go?

cher, was it a case of mudd butt for you or the wee ones that kept you there?!?!

kylie, i was there!! i commented.

walker, if i was only at liberty to talk in entirety about my weekend...

nations... this is a very common occurrence... people have visions of me during all sorts of occasions... its quite natural, i say, go with it... give into the clouded ball visions of the voices!!!

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