HAVE NOT BEEN HERE

IVE BEEN BATTLING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND NON STOP NOW FOR THREE DAYS...I DONT FEEL LIKE WRITING OR BEING HERE...SHE HAS SNAPPED INTO THIS PERSON I DO NOT LIKE ONE BIT... SHE HAS TAKEN ON THIS REALLY ABUSIVE PERSONALITY...I MEAN I LOVE BEING PUNCHED IN THE FACE JUST AS MUCH AS ANYONE ELSE BUT IM SICK OF IT...SICK OF FIGHTING, SICK OF THE ABUSE, SICK OF ALL THE BULLSHIT...IM NOT PERFECT, IM NOT HIDING IT EITHER...I DONT PRETEND TO BE RIGHT OR SMARTER THEN HER OR PRETEND THAT IM DOING OKAY... MY LIFE IS A TOTAL MESS... BUT ITS MY LIFE...I GET UP IN THE MORNING AND I GO THROUGH WITH IT ALL...EVERY MORNING... I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL HER PROBLEMS, NON OF THIS SHIT IS MY FAULT...I EXIST IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PERSON WHO LOVES TO HATE ME!!! I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING RIGHT FOR MONTHS...AND NOW COMBINED WITH HER DRINKING SHE GOES FROM HITCHED TO BITCH IN A SECOND...WE HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE AND FRANKLY I WILL NOT FIGHT WITH THIS WOMAN ANY MORE...ITS NOT HELPING ME AND ITS NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR HER AS WELL... ITS NOT EVEN FIGHTING ANY MORE...IM THE TARGET FOR HER RAGE... I THOUGHT IS WAS FUNNY WHEN YOU HEARD OF MEN GETTING BEATEN UP BY THEIR WOMEN, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY ANY MORE!!! FUCK I JUST SIT THERE AND TRY TO CALM HER DOWN AND IT IS RELENTLESS...POUNDING IN TO ME THAT MY LIFE IS THE REASON SHE IS SO FUCKED UP...SO BE IT!!! BE GONE WITH YOU!!!EVIL BITCH... I FINALLY BROKE THROUGH THE WALLS THIS MORNING... AFTER TWO NIGHTS OF FRUSTRATION AND TURNING MY PHONE OFF, I CALLED HER AND IN THIS SMALL VOICE, SHE WAS THERE...STILL ACCUSING, STILL NOT READY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY BUT IT WAS HER...NOT THE HELLISH BEAST...I HOPE SHE MAKES IT THROUGH ALL OF HER ISSUES AND COMES CLEAN OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE...I CANT HELP HER ANYMORE...SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME...PROFESSIONAL HELP...I DONT KNOW IF MEDS WOULD HELP HER... I KNOW THEY WORK BUT SHE TENDS TO SELF MEDICATE WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL... SHE MIGHT HAVE TO STOP ALL THAT SHIT ANYWAY...IT DOESNT REALLY WORK AND ALCOHOL IS HER NEWEST TRIGGER...I FEEL AWFUL...SHE WILL BE HAVING THE GREATEST DAY AND I KNOW IT AND THEN SHE SIMPLY SEES ME AND SHE CHANGES...SHE GETS ANGRY AT MY PRESENCE...WHAT THE FUCK!!! I LOVE THIS WOMAN BUT NOT HER EVIL SIDE... I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO...WHERE THE HELL IS THAT MAGIC WAND!!!