Saturday, September 30, 2006

WHAT DO I DO NOW...


Well Im totally lost now... Feeling like my new chosen direction isn't all that I want it to be... Stop being so cryptic and write something with some substance...Sorry..

What Im saying is I don't know what I want... Im having trouble... Im happy at the job right now, Im happy in my new place, even though its not permanent... Im enjoying the quality of life I have, things seem to be okay... Is it wrong to want to float for a while and see how things go? Live life for a minute and stop trying so hard to get to the next level? Have I been doing that for too long already? Do I need to strive for more? Well this isn't getting anywhere... Try again..

Pretty low today, no spark, no juice, no motivation... Sucks... People are all at the bar watching a great band, a friend of ours, well they are all friends... And they are good... I guess they just opened for Tom Petty this week!! I simply don't feel like going... Im tired, I don't want to fight, I want some peace and fucking quiet... Time to figure out what it is Im supposed to be doing... Although I feel like Im missing out!! Big time, who cares though... Wow our friends band is back and Im missing it.. Nice thing, with this town is that when they come back through and I go to that show it will be the same people, the same bar, the same small town drama and same problem... How the fuck do I get home now that Im completely wasted?? Drive is my normal response, but Im trying to get away from that... Oh I digressed too far... The point was that Im not really missing out at all!!! Its the same recylced shit every day... When I make the next show it will be just like this one... Drunk, loud, expensive and fun... Lets not make it sound like it wont be any fun... Im sure its a blast and will be next time... Maybe that's why Im wondering what to do now? Im not making any sense...Sorry...

Im just tired, I want to write but IM not coming up with any thing good... Sick of shit and don't want to complain about it.. don't want to whine... So ill let it be for tonight...

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