The last of it...

So Ive a had some good responses from sugars question... thanks to those that commented here and to those who i have talked to in person. here's my take. i agree with all of you. i am so used to being hurt and deceived by love that i have no idea what its all about. why would anyone want to engage in it at all??? except i don't think its a voluntary issue. i don't think you can choose to fall in love or not to love some one. shit just happens. for some it happens for the better and for some the worse.

do you love them more then they love you? and on what scale? how do you measure, is it how you convey it. or what? how do you know?

i know if you have kids there isn't much you wouldn't do for them. is that how you gauge? pets? family? a new car? we use the term and the words so often, what the fuck does it all mean?

anyway, I'll just be happy. i don't care to know if its more or less or who is loved more or whatever.... i don't care.

you know what matters more to me... honesty. if you can be completely honest and truthful to me, with out lieing, then you can have my heart. don't lie to me, you will lose me. don't hide shit from me, I'll find out. then things will be worse. tell me what your thinking, good or bad. id rather know all the facts and then let my heart sort it all out. that's the kind of guy i am. i think suspicion is the worst part of a relationship and its a killer.

Ive been fucked over so many times under the guise of love, the word is losing interest for me. I'm in love, so be it... more importantly I'm honest. and that is what I'm hoping will work out more that gauging my intensity.

and that's the last of it.