quick: ive had to hit the ground running this morning... broken truck stuck on a mountain top and needs parts. (had to take my personal truck to town, heh heh.) jammed to town and back to the shop for some extra tools and off "to save the day"!!

anyway, how was everyones weekend?!?!? anybody wipe out on a dirt bike? shoot a couple hundred clay pidgeons? build a set of shelves in their shop? have a little too much to drink on saturday? watch the movie wall-e three times? play some rummy? no? well i did!!! hahahahhahaa




i'll try to come back later.

dream jobs

my job is sucking as of late and the upper managers, who in their infinite wisdom are trying to repeal one of the perks i have enjoyed with out question for the last seven years, three years prior to that i enjoyed that perk but from a different pump. anyway, its made me quite pissy and moody this week and an all around pleasure to be working with. i was hoping to catch the one manager that isn't on vacation again today, but even this one has "left the building" early...

not that I'm looking for a new job, but i do dream of a new job from time to time. what might your dream job/s be? any body?


have a great weekend all!!!

im on the new truck look out again

stopped at the dodge dealer yesterday... and there it was... my truck. pearl silver... in all its glory, right in the middle of the lot... many different colors of the one i want but this one was smack in the middle...

picture it...

2008, dodge ram 2500 diesel...

big horn edition.

six speed manual.

factory eight inch lift...

thirty six inch tires, over sized breaks, running boards, sun roof...

pearl silver...

fifty eight thousand dollars.





so i talked with the first sales shark, err... sales associate to come out of the building.

"is this price right?" i ask.
"yeah, its right." he said.
"i don't want to pay 10,000 for this lift kit and tires, that's bullshit. whats your best deal?"
"well we have a deal right now on these trucks. dodge is giving an 18,000 rebate."
"nice, but i want more. i was talking with a dude here several months ago and he said you guys are trying to get rid of these. he was fighting Toyota for my business. he offered me 600 dollars below invoice. can you compete with that?"
"yeah, i can. i can prolly knock off up to 23,000 dollars. the owner is coming in later this afternoon."

we go into the building and i get his card, blah, blah, blah... and he said he was going to call me back. he didn't. must not like money. but with my truck as a trade in and some serious down payment money, i should be rolling in a new truck within the month... wish me luck again... on the dream truck.

pimpage

i've been reading this guys blog... he just started it and it could prove to be quite funny... i dunno, if your bored check it out. oh yeah and picture above is his avatar.... looks like he might have been quite the troublemaker we are used to around here.

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP ITS BEEN...

whew... after a well needed relaxing weekend we decided to have an un-versary by jumping on the motorcycle and heading down to the cliff side restaurant at the end of our road for a bottle of champagne on the rocks to watch the sunset... after the champagne we had a couple of Sapphire and tonics with some of their famous cheese bread.
jumped on the bike and headed up the canyon and stopped at a friends house.
she wasn't home and we headed even further up the canyon.
stopped at another friends house.
he wasn't home either but his father was.
so we hung out with him and he made us some of the most glorious margaritas I've ever experienced. yes, experienced, not drank or imbibed but experienced... we sat around and talked with him for several hours about all kinds of things. he has Parkinson's and is pretty easy going about it. the guy works on his property non stop and was electrifyingly animated that evening. a real good time. we said good night and put our helmets on for the ride home. yes we do have some sense of safety.
we arrive home and parked the bike, had a cigarette and i went in to feed the dogs. some how while i was inside cheese had managed to pull the parked motorcycle over on top of her self onto the pile of lumber. no screaming, no crying, more of a "what just happened?" look on her face.
we came inside and watched the beginning of a movie before we both started to pass out. went upstairs to bed and did just that.
woke up several hours later and cheese is rocking back and forth saying, "owww, ouch, oww, owww, ouchie, oooo.... owwwhh."
i feel her head, shes got a huge turkey egg on it lumping forth and throbbing, she also cant move her shoulder....
yep, onto the hospital we go!!!
down the mountain at a speed that a snail could have over taken us and into town we go...

i wont rub it in with too much of the story but all the nurses and doctors at the near empty emergency room thought it funny that they usually get "these kinds of accidents on a Friday night, not a Sunday night." after several hours and multiple denials for shots of pain meds we head home and go back to sleep on the couch.

cheese ended up with a mild concussion and a separated shoulder, apparently she ripped all the ligaments that hold her shoulder in place apart and asides from a sling there isn't much she can do about it...

i got an extra day off work and helped cheese through the worst of the first day. yeah me!

she is wicked embarrassed and will likely be out of commission for two or more weeks. what might make her feel a little better is if everyone gives us a story of how they have fucked themselves up on accident or a ridiculous story about some one else... have a great week everyone!!!

redirection

todays post is over here.... at the wild onion cafe...  

i'll have you all know...

anybody notice my posts suck as of this week?
anybody notice my comments have been offensive and rude.
I'm sure you have noticed me picking on people that take themselves a bit tooo seriously.
there is a reason for this and i have no qualms about being this way when I'm on my period.
yes, some of you readers may not believe this but I'm sick. head cold, body aches, nasal drips like a surfer on a cold day. and yes I'm fucking grouchy about it. i don't care either...
but i don't like bitching about it non stop and my normal "power through the cold with copious amounts of caffeine and alcohol" isn't working either...

so this will be the only apology i issue for my behavior for the past week and following few days.

now on with the show shall we...


several weeks ago cheese purchased a crock-pot. and yesterday morning she got up early and harvested some fresh veggies and herbs from the garden to add to the whole chicken she had been planning to cook that day in the new device. added all the ingredients, sprinkled it with love and set that fucker on low and left for work.
i found out about it at lunch when i was eating at her place of work. i believe both of us had dreams of that wonderfully potent smell of crockpottery cooked chicken on our arrival home. all those delicious and tender veggies, spices and meat that have been permeating the air throughout the entire day! personally i could hardly wait to get home...
we finished our days work and arrived home at about the same time... i was bringing in a load of firewood when cheese and company arrived home and both of us walked in the house at the same time... noses up and ready for the aromatic pleasures of home cooked goodness...
the girls go in first and exclaim:

"whats that smell?"
"is that diner?"
"is that chicken!? what else smells in here?"

cheese is next to roll into the house with expectations of herby delight and says:

"mmmm, that smells go---ood."

her voice falters as i enter the house with an armload of wood. my nose perks up and i am indeed overcome with the joyous aromas as well, but there is something else that is mixed in and the further into the house i go the more over powering it becomes.

"aaahhh fuck..."

we say almost in unison...

i unload the wood into the iron holder and begin to make my way upstairs where we usually find the evidence of the second smell when cheese says.... "found it! eeewww, oh god..." i return to the lower level of the house and there it is, i should say, there they were, several flattened piles of runny, doggy ass sickness...

yep folks, dog shit... a sick dogs shit... spackling the Italian tile floor. stepped in and tracked about the dining room. all green and snotty and sandy... our normal routine for this event is to play a single round of "rock, paper, scissors" to see who gets the honors of cleaning it up. but this was going to require two of us, due to the nature and consistency of the poo...

i'd go into it about the cleaning portion of the evening if you would like but there is more to the story... of a different nature...

dinner was completed with some brown rice and i cooked up some french bread and homemade garlic butter (no one makes better garlic bread than me folks, sorry. but no, no you don't... not even close, not even your great, great gandmammies recipe is better than mine...). we eat and little cheese clears off the table while cheese cleans the kitchen.

moments later i have a movie qued up for the girls and I'm passed the fuck out on the couch with a beer in hand... I'm woken up with some child squabbling and groggily make my way to the bedroom... cheese joins me seemingly moments later, but I'm sure she has gotten them to wash up, brush their teeth and into bed, complete with stories and smoochies. both of us are off to slumber land by 9:30.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!! NO!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!!!!

I wake up who knows how much later but its bright out side with the full moon and cheese is bolting down the stairs at mach 8.

"reeetch, cough, choke, reettcchhh, blauthch, cough, choke, purge..." one of the dogs is going for it full blast at the bottom of the stairs...

"NO! NO!! NO!!! NO!!!!, AHHH, FUCK.... OUT! OUT!! OUT!!! OUT!!!! OUTSIDE YOU FUCKING DOG!!!" I hear cheese open and close the front door with a slam...
for the rest of the early morning we fight over pillows and sleeping space (i have a Cali-king mattress with ten pillows so i have no idea how this happens) blankets and alarm clock action...
so folks that was my evening yestarday...

I'm not sure how it happened but that dog got me sick cause our "ins and outs" look about the same... can you picture that???

you have been outed...

from Chester County Pennsylvania!

what do you have?

anybody seen any funny comics or funny pictures lately? im in need of some material for the voices archives. lemme know what you got that i dont.. heh heh...

hello anon commenter!

SO, I HAVE AFTER TWO SOME ODD YEARS OF BLOGGING RECEIVED MY FIRST SEMI-NEGATIVE ANONYMOUS RESPONSE!!!
here it is in all its glory:

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm the odd man out because if you believe what you wrote, then you're an idiot and so are the rest of the hoo-yahs egging you on. But, God bless America and everyone who comprises her.

11:08 AM

and can be found in this post here.

i fucking love it!!!! I'm an idiot!!! can you imagine all the things a person can/will say while anonymous and alls i get is "idiot".. well at least I'm not a "hoo-yah" like the rest of you all...



hahahahahaaaa.....

hey anon! picture below is how i feel about your anon comment....

what woulda happened

Friday i took the day off and got my truck smogged and registered.. i did my town run and went to get my windshield replaced... two hundred bucks, no problem. "I'll be back after lunch." i said. while shopping around i got a call from a buddy who was headed down to my house to help me with a bit of a project. so i called and scheduled the windshield replacement for Monday(today).
as i was driving to work this morning the jackass/idiot/tourist driving in front of me left the road and veered into one of the many dirt turn outs on our highway, throwing up a veritable rooster tail of mud and rocks into the highway. wouldn't you fucking know it but one of these rocks smacked the drivers side of the windshield and left a nice nick in it and brought over even further into my view the existing crack from the passenger side..
now, if i would have replaced the windshield on Friday like i had planned, i would have been fucking pissed. but i didn't, so i don't give a shit. but this is one of the reasons why i haven't replaced my broken windshield. its been five or more years since denims girlfriends head went smacking into it and four Bloody Marys went onto the dashboard... so many moons ago...
sooo... does anybody have a damned if you do story of their own?!?!?

MEGANS CHALLENGE

Megan doesn't know it yet, but this challenge is for her... here is a picture i dug up the other day and sent to denim... i liked it so much i thought id save it and post it some time... well that time is now folks... here is the deal-e-o...

Megan is bored at work and has been quoted as saying " waiting breathlessly for anyone you know to post something new...". so here you go Megan, i charge you with writing the best story about this photo. than everyone else can either write one better or add on to it or concede that you are the best story teller! whatever they please, but yours has to be undoubtedly the best!!

so this is your challenge and since you are truly bored at work you should have lots of time to be creative with this one!! good luck!

"i dropped my pencil...."

"....gimme something to write on!!"

two kudos to the first person who can tell me what song the title and picture caption comes from....


anyway, ill be back. going to lunch early. ummmm.... yeah. just thought y'all might be getting tired of my neo-political views and beliefs...

so... kudos anyone?!?1

im not gonna make any friends with this one either...

first off I'm quite happy for everyone who was a part of history and change... if you believe something long enough it becomes true... here is a list of things i believe in and don't believe in. some of which if implemented into our society would bring on some positive changes... some of them are not reality and therefor could never come true, unless you believe.

i don't believe in a two party system.
i cant believe people registered as independents voted republican or democrat, why would you do that?.
i believe in peoples own choice and freedoms, not what is allowed by government.
i believe all people are created equal, its what they do with their lives that makes them great or a piece of shit. that's what makes us different. if you make yourself a good person, you are a good person and so on...
i believe that systems like welfare and government monies for poor are flawed.
i believe if you are getting money from the government that they should take away your cable/satellite television. go out and get a job, better yourself and be a part of the answer not the problem.
i believe that people deserve a chance to better themselves and their situation and sitting at home is not that path. starting everyday out with the simplest of things gets you on your way. read a newspaper, go out in your towns, talk to people, volunteer your time, learn some new skills while the tax payer is giving your money and food and health care, etc..
i believe that unemployed people need to spend every waking hour looking for a job, asides from eating and shitting. maybe have some time for fucking. but employment and taxes make this country work. not Oprah and monster garage..
i think rich people should pay more.
i think poor people deserve a way to get some training to better their circumstances.
i think an eight hour day is a poor excuse for saying that you work hard. (for most jobs) look at china, japan, Switzerland, Germany, south Africa... many a nation work up to sixty hours in a week to live the lives they desire. other countries work less to have what they desire. its all up to the individual situation... so saying you work forty hour weeks and you deserve something better than someone else doesn't fly in my book.
i believe if you aren't happy with what you have than you need to go out and get what it is you need to be happy, motivate, inspire, dream, work smarter not harder.
i believe everybody has it within themselves to pull themselves up with their bootstraps and become better people.
i believe in the death penalty.
i don't believe our current prison system is a great enough threat to quell the violence in this country
i think any crime gang related should have stiffer penalties across the board. perhaps start by cutting off a hand, then a foot, perhaps cutting off someones tongue may stop them from talking so much shit.
i think if you find something that does not obviously belong to someone else you should be able to keep it.
i think property prices in the state of California are inflated.
i believe that the state of California is the fifth largest economy in the world. we should succeed.
i don't believe this current president will change very much in the next four years other than give people the hope for change that he was talking about.
i believe at there will be several assassination attempts. i don't not want that. but i do believe it will happen.
i believe most Americans are fooling themselves about their liberties and freedoms.
i believe they should teach the constitution in elementary school through high school. not just touch on it.
i believe we are breeding increasingly more and more lazy and ignorant people. not only in this country but on this planet. part of that is due to overpopulation.
i believe a global economy will work.
i believe that shortly the united states of America will unknowingly start the next world war.
i believe we will lose.
i do not believe in god or the bible, i cant. if he does exist my mother burns in hell for eternity and i cant have that.
i believe in less government.
i believe in socialized health care, i think we should be able to get a second opinion.
i believe in the barter system.
i believe that people vote passionately and not necessarily know exactly what they are voting on. this is how i think that prop eight passed. people didn't quite read the prop and what they were voting on. i think they should vote that one again.
i believe in good and evil.
i don't believe that drug use and possession of drugs should be illegal for adults. if you want to fuck up your own life be my guest. this of course does not apply to children and operating a car or machinery. i think that the under the influence laws should apply.
i believe that at some point we will have to grant illegal immigrants some sort of citizenship. make them pay taxes and give them some sort of health care and schooling that they pay for.
i believe we should tax monies and wire transfers to other countries to start paying for this.
i believe no one should be able to tell you if you can get married or not. forty years ago it was illegal to marry a person of another color. now its against the law for gay folks to get married. WTF?
i don't believe in our voting process, i believe a popular voting system better represents our countries needs.
i believe i was born two hundred years to early or two late.
i don't believe in equal rights for everyone. some people (criminals, pedophiles, rapists, etc.) don't deserve those rights. they betrayed them and the rest of the people who fight for them.
i don't believe in fighting other peoples wars. how many Iraqis are going to come to our rescue when Venezuela invades? (hypothetically speaking, i don't necessarily believe Venezuela will invade. but who knows?)
i don't believe I'm the smartest person i know, but I'm smarter than some.
i believe in a zero unemployment America. people used to walk across this country on foot to find food, water, jobs, a better life... its possible even for the poorest, hungriest least educated people to move and find a place to live according to their means. we are a wealthy country.




i believe in a lot of things. i don't know how to achieve them all or how to put them into effect. but i know that anything is possible if you believe.... oh and i didn't vote. remember i don't believe in this government, so voting for the "lesser of two weevils" is not going to work for me... do i care if things change? not really. no matter what happens in this country for the next four years i will survive. i always have. our government will do as it pleases and enact laws to make that happen, regardless of what the people think they have just voted for.



i also don't take myself too seriously with the things i think i believe in. what i truly believe in is much simpler. i believe i am the only one who can make myself happy and that no one is going to do that for for me. i know I'm not perfect and sometimes need help. I'm not here to change the world and the way people think either. i make and change my own history, I'm a leader not a follower, so getting on any band wagon and believing I've done something for the greater good doesn't happen in my life. i affect people around me and in my community by being a positive force. so yeah, love it or leave it.

WHEN TUESDAYS BECOME MONDAYS

photo courtesy of first nations back yard.

the list:
one transmission smoked
one crab steering valve not worky worky
one engine over filled with oil
powers is out
one transformer on fire south of here
no water at work yard
landlord wants help putting his dog down this week
voting is nearly at an end
one day of sobriety (soon to be ending)
one busy fucking Zack



sorry kids, i had this great post planned for today. as it is my six hundredth and sixty sixth post and all. that's right!! 666 posts of inner voices!! but I'm so fucking busy i barely have time to crap out this excuse for a post... but there it is and here i go back to work... have a great Monday!!!

oh and i have some pics of the front yard with all the mud and debris...

what the?

at some point last night we decided it would be more fun to play our game of dice naked. do you know the term party naked? yep, that was us. all four of us sitting around my glass dining room table playing a drinking game naked...

sheesh...

it doesn't happen often, but sometimes when I've had too much to drink too fast I'll force yattle. last night was one of those nights... after drinking an entire thirty pack we drank the better part of a handle of vodka, then we switched to jeager, and finally poached a twelve pack from the neighbor who wasn't home and pounded those down as well. at some point i realized i wasn't going to last much longer with all that alcohol in my stomach so i purged it. i feel like i could go with out booze for a week now.

except...

tonight is a friends surprise birthday party at a bar in town. no food, just drinks... i hate flaking on friends and flaked on them several weeks ago, so tonight is not an option. sitting around at a bar doesn't even remotely sound like fun to me right now... but who knows, after a few cold beers i might be back in action once again...

other news...

a friend from work had her home flooded with mud and debrison Saturday night. she was sitting on the couch watching television during the storm and thought she heard someone knocking at her door. when she opened it to see who was there a torrent of mud and water came flooding in. she grabbed her one dog that could walk through it and hiked up the mountain to safety. one of our boys drove a backhoe through the three foot deep mud flow and scooped her older yellow lab up in the bucket and drove him back through the onslaught of shit to safety...
i drove down there a few minutes ago and we have a team of guys mucking out her house and porch. nothing like shoveling a foot of mud off the carpet eh? two feet of mud on the porch and her yard and forty years worth of rose bushes is three feet under mud, rocks, tree limbs, etc...
we've been preparing for this for weeks and her property was/is scheduled to receive government k-rails this week. (k-rails are those concrete barriers you see on highways.) they are all stacked uselessly at the top of her road... damn....
she is taking it pretty good and even tried to sleep in her home last night. the bedroom door was closed and received less damage. insurance people are on the way and we are working as fast as we can to get it cleanable and ready for the next storm... wish her luck and hopefully the worst is behind her...
so folks other than that little story, i haven't got much for you. we Halloweened it in town at a friends and stayed in the hotel. the highlight was that i got to watch some television till early in the morning. Saturday sat around working and watching movies in front of the wood burning stove. Sunday some friends came up and we went for a hike down to the creek to check on our water system. then engaged in some serious and heavy drinking...
after tonight i think ill take another stab at a week of sobriety! have a great week all!!!