Friday, November 21, 2008

dream jobs



my job is sucking as of late and the upper managers, who in their infinite wisdom are trying to repeal one of the perks i have enjoyed with out question for the last seven years, three years prior to that i enjoyed that perk but from a different pump. anyway, its made me quite pissy and moody this week and an all around pleasure to be working with. i was hoping to catch the one manager that isn't on vacation again today, but even this one has "left the building" early...

not that I'm looking for a new job, but i do dream of a new job from time to time. what might your dream job/s be? any body?


have a great weekend all!!!

75 comments:

shelaghayan said...

an accountant of course! (but one of the dangerously alcoholic kinds)

Megan said...

Am I first or have I been thinking too long? I will find out in a second!

My dream job? Philanthropist.

Megan said...

Thinking too long!!!

denim said...

pornstar, astronaut

realistically:
visual's for a GOOD touring artist
playboy designer

no more free gas eh? well at least the prices have gone down a bit... wtf have you been anyway?

Leni Qinan said...

Sorry it took me a bit to come back here, Z, but I've been real busy this week at my ridiculously busy day job. And you posted too fast lately for my tired brain to think of a good comment, so hm... I'm sorry. But you see, I'm always back.

My dream job would be to be a porn writer, of course! And a best selling author! (good enough to leave my first occupation).

Suzanne said...

Thanks for the info about the car in the previous post. I'll sleep on it. Damn.

Sorry work is so frustrating at the moment. Hang in there because the economy sucks. You're lucky enough to have a job even if it's a job you sometimes hate.

Okay, my dream job. I was thinking the other day I'd love to win the CA Lottery. I realized I couldn't because I don't play, but am reconsidering. Like our darling Megan, I'd love to be a philanthropist. Seriously. I would love to have gobs and gobs of money and do good with it. Oh, I'd also love to be an organic farmer and grow a gazillion varieties of garlic. I'd also love to be an organic farmer and grow a gazillion varieties of flowers. I'd also love to be a rose hybridizer. Well, you asked.

XO

Anonymous said...

LENI !!!

you're back!

i missed you soooo bad, with that hot little toosh of yours

of course, if you pick on my spanish i'll just dump you and go back to my true love, blottie

even with swollen red eyes she's hot hot hot

yeah baby !!!!

ANON #69

padraig said...

Megan, how did you have to think to come up with philanthropist? Duh, that's a no-brainer.

I've been angling for that job every time the superlotto gets above 60 million.

Suzanne said...

Leni,

You cracked me up with the porn crap. No, I would have never guessed. Well now I know. Holy shit I learn the most amazing crap blogging!!!

And if Anon is who I think he is, I feel very wet and horney. Did I just say that? Okay, I take it back, but wait, I see 69. I'll wait till I get that, then I'll undo all of this. WHAT???!!! What? No, Momma didn't raise no fool! What am I supposed to do with all these words? Pretend they don't exist? They do!!! Anon's wife, you know I would never do this to another woman, but I have to have a bit of fun. No, I'm not serious, I'm just in the mood for some laughter. You're hubby is a hoot. Yes, I'm sure you know that. Oh, he's also a wise ass.

And I'll just say it, why does Anon #69 sound like Zack. Crap. Zack's licking me from head to toe. Jeasus Christ. I'm screwed. Apparently literally! I would never have imagined Zack interested in me. Never. And if this isn't Zack, see, I told you he wasn't interterested!!! So who the hell is this. Come on. Don't do this to me again. You know how bad I am a clues and riddles. We just went through so much shit. Come one, help a girl out. Please. I'm exhausted guessing about this sort of stuff. Knock it off!

Megan said...

Leni, I just went over to your blog for a minute and now I have to put it on my list of things to do this weekend.

1. Read Leni's blog!
2. Do everything else I already had planned to do...if I have time...

Anonymous said...

hot and horny?

mmmmmm baaaaby

yeeesssss

ANON #69

kylie said...

anon, you don't have much stamina, do you?

Suzanne said...

Oh crap!!! I was just on the phone with Cece and she made me laugh so hard when she said my black and white photo was alluring. I asked why? She replied "You're knees are beautiful." Buries head in desk. What? That's too funny. What am I supposed to do with that? It's just too funny. She had to hang up on me because Rob was calling. I was dished by my own hubby. Yes, it's true, they adore one another. Why am I always second fiddle?

Zack, it's you, isn't it? No, I would never have imagined. Why" Because you're so hard on me. You never, ever cut me slack. Never. But now I know you actually adore me!!!

mmmmmmmmmm baby. How sweet. Yesssssssss, of course I adore #69. Oh, and if I'm wrong, I've just made a complete fool of myself!!!

Suzanne said...

Oh my God, nearly choked when I saw Kylie!

Suzanne said...

But I enjoyed the ride.

kylie said...

short as it was

just bob said...

Tiger Woods caddie...

Travel the world, stay in 5-star hotels, tote the bag for four rounds, and pick up a 5-figure check every weekend.

Nice.

shelaghayan said...

Okay, I lied about the CPA bit... got stoned and realized I couldn't calculate 20% for tip, so I probably couldn't manage to help rich fuckers with innovative tax evasion.

My real answer:
1. war photojournalist
2. sponsored by someone to do climbing/mountaineering

Look at me responding to your actual post! I can follow directions...

Megan said...

back @ my lil' bro - Took me a second. Not everyone has your calculator brain, dammit!

Suzanne said...

Hi Kylie.

ANON #69 said...

hi suze

Suzanne said...

Kylie honey, who is it this time (I've elimated you and Mark for obvious reason!)? Fixes green dress and adjusts ceral box after romp in hay (someone just got lucky!). Oh, and did you see CSI's comment on my blog? Apparently the photo of Sniper Nerds is us. He said to embrace who we are. *Starts to cry.* At least you're stacked!!! *Starts to cry harder.* Am I going to be a leprechaun my whole freakin' life?

Suzanne said...

Okay, let's try "eliminate" one more time. Hey, what? It's almost 2am. Cut me some slack.

Suzanne said...

That's not funny. You're one minute behind me. It's like a freakin' horror movie. I'm trying to think really fast. Are Kylie and Mark sleeping? It's nightime here, daylight in Aussie Land. They're up. Okay, Kylie, I know that's you. Knock it off!!!

Kookaburra said...

I would like to be....

A Ferrari engineer,
Kylie Minogue's masseuse,
beer taster at Carlton and United Breweries,
Kylie Minogue's masseuse,
Hot air balloon pilot,
Kylie Minogue's masseuse,
football player for Essendon,
Kylie Minogue's masseuse,
Hollywood movie mogul

Suzanne said...

Oh, no, that's not you. I didn't see #69. Sorry honey. You go back to work. Zack, I know it's you. What the hell are you doing up at almost 2am? What the hell am I doing up at almost 2am? Well, I gotta unload the dishwasher and look at my knees. I never realized I had pretty knees. Wow. Whoops, my ceral box just fell off because I was all bent and stuff. Places box back on head and walks confidently in the direction of the kitchen.

XO

P.S. Thanks for the hay stuff. I'm feeling really chipper!

Suzanne said...

Mark, that is damn funny. I'm going to lay right next to Kylie and see if I can get me some. I'm the one in green.

XO

Suzanne said...

Mark, I just tried to post on your blog but of course got "Error." It's what I always get now, so that's why you never hear from me. I wrote something really clever too. What a shame. Well, just so you know. XO to Jo, Helen and the kitty.

Hi Zack!

Hi Kylie!

Hi #69!

Kookaburra said...

@Suzanne,
Try commenting to my Blog again. I have just changed the comment setting to "anyone". Hope that helps.

Suzanne said...

That's what I've become? Anyone? I thought I was special? Adjusts cereal box, looks at knees. I am special. I am special.

Suzanne said...

NOPE!!! Says the same as always, "Error on page."

Leni Qinan said...

Dear Anon#69:

First and foremost, I just love your second name (i.e. #69). That's my favourite number, lol.

You really missed me? (*grins and then chuckles*). That's nice to read. Mon/Tues I've been showing the city to some American visitors and I couldn't do anything else but that. But I'm always back to the Voices. It's a nice place and the people are cool -including you, hahaha-.

Don't ever dare dump me!!! Give us a clue and tell everybody who is your true love. That may give us some more info about you too.

Please have mercy on your female readership (some of us are still racking our brains wondering who the hell you are). Especially Suz and I.


Suz,

Yeah #69 is cool. I also suspect it's Zack, but dont tell him. Let him have his fun -he's enjoying it, hahaha-.

About the porn crap... (*laughs very loud*). I would be happy just to be able to live on my writing.

I wrote some erotic scenes in my blog and it boosted comments (many horny people in the blogsphere, i guess). I enjoyed doing that and there's always a slight touch of sex there -yes, sex, that's what normal people do, don't they?- I was even told that i was doing soft porn -made me laugh and think why Henry Miller or Bukowski wrote art but the rest of humble mortals write soft porn. yes, it's a pretentious comparison, but I can't help it-. Anyway, i appreciated the comment.

(It's hard to be a porn writer... ;))


Megan,

Thanks a lot for visiting my blog. That's sweet. And thanks a lot too for your enthusiastic publicity of my blog here (seriously, i really appreciate). I feel curious about your blog too -I'm having a look at it this weekend-.

At any rate, I think we should talk about marketing strategies, hahaha. You're so nice! ;))

Daisy said...

working in a bookstore that has a coffee shop...i love to read, usually they are quiet with some noncommittal music, hence no clients, and the coffee thing would just be the tits and berries...
i am afraid the pay would suck though which is probably why i havent switched jobs...

Suzanne said...

This is officially one of the funniest comment pages ever. I just reread everything and think Anon #69 is Kylie. Hummmmmmm. Kylie, seriously, is that you??!! Knock it off!

Leni, you're killin' me!!! Women. Why are women so funny? Honey, if #69 is Zack, he told you who his true love is. It's me. Of course I'm laughing. What?! It's too funny. If #69 is Zack, I swear to God everyone here is laughing because the two of us are in constant conflict and have been since day one. And I'm sure that will never change. We just don't agree on a whole hell of a lot of shit. But apparently we know how to do the dandy and enjoy the hell out of ourselves!!! Oh, and if that's not him I'd like to know who the hell it is because I had a blast!!! Oh, and trust me, apparently he loves you too. I don't have your ass. Apparently is's gorgeous. Good luck with that sweetie! Walks away looking at knees.

I'm going to have to visit your blog. Erotica. I'll have to wade through that? Okay. I'm prepared. God, I hope it really is soft. Cuz I'm a porn sissy.

Love you darling. Honestly. You're too much fun. And good luck with your writing.

XO Suze

R2K said...

: )

That Guy said...

-Food critic.
-Any job that kicks me free gas!
-Parky in bitchin' area, ha!

That Guy said...

Although I do like your pic today. Girls' Varsity VB Coach...pretty doable.

Speaking of, tell me...how many times have you almost wrecked the truck going past Carmel High's tennis courts? Yeah, me too. Fuck.

Suzanne said...

I have to get to the park, I'm late, but just want you to know I've been thinking about the comment page all morning and laughing a lot!!! It almost reminds me of the time CSI came back to his blog and basically said "WHAT THE FUCKS BEEN GOIN' ON!!!" Then started deleting like a maniac. Still one of my fondest blogger memories.

Watch out for R2K. I clicked on and was quickly escorted out of the computer. I have amazing firewall protection, so assume something's up. I deleted it from the Wild Onion just in case. If R2K is a regular bloke. Sorry. My firewall is indicating you aren't!

HI HONEY!!! Happy Saturday. Zack, if you aren't Anon #69 this is your lucky day! We had so much fun without you. If you are Anon #69, this is your lucky day because we had so much fun with you!

And just so you guys know, I live near a school, so kids walk by all the time and just a few days ago I saw a 40 somthing year old drive by and oggle a young girl walking past my house. I was standing at the kitchen sink loading the dishwasher and no, I didn't miss a thing. It was pretty gross. "That Guy," keep your eyes on the road. Fuckin' lurkers. Has finger on speed dial for 911. No, I haven't changed! Nor will I. Get back on the damn dance floor and behave yourself.

XO The Tennis player

hnter1018 said...

Why is it when a woman talks about writing porn and 69 it's hot but whne I guy does were pigs???

If Leni is going to write some porn I volunteer to act out the scenes.

Suzanne said...

Why am I back. Because the f****** computer won't let me out of this f****** joint. I'm going to count to 10 and try again. Oh, I just noticed I didn't capitalize "Player." It should be capitalized because it's my title!!! Okay, here we go. Wish me luck.

Anonymous said...

Suzanne I can be anon if you want me too. Just don't tell wifey;)

That Guy said...

*SLAMS ON BRAKES headed south on One, say, 1 mile north of Rio.

Suzanne said...

I am so late to the fucking park and just realized the front lawn sprinklers are still on. Let me go turn them off and I'll be right back.

I'm trying to be so green. Wasting water is not green. My water is running down the damn street. Okay. I'll be better next time.

No, I couldn't get out again. That's how I found your comment Rob! I was bounced right back here!!! Okay, I'll just have to unplug this thing!!! This is my perspective, obviously. I'll give you the answer and I'm confident I'll get an AMEN from my congregation (Leni!!!, Kylie!!!) Porn is one thing. Romance is another. When women talk about 69 or sex it's almost always dripping with subtext. Always. Most men don't understand subtext or nuance. But most women are draped in it. That's the difference. We're just wired differently. And as a vegetarian, please don't insult pigs.

Love ya darlin'!! You know I love you and thanks for asking. Can I help you with plumbing? Logging? Woodwork? Heavy equipment? Tools?

Suzanne said...

Rob, I know that's you. You're too damn obvious.

Dials number for Wifey. (Girls gotta stick together!)

Suzanne said...

Pulls in front of That Guy and SLAMS ON BRAKES. (No, he'd never hit a Mercedes.) Get's out and takes a good look. "Wow. You're really cute honey!!" (No really, he is!!!) Okay, I gotta get to the park, but when I get back want some lunch? Are you married? If so, forget it. If not, it's a date!!! Sorry Rob.

INNER VOICES said...

i am not anon 1, 2, 3 or 69... sorry.

i will always just be inner voices, you guys are rockin my comment box! sweet!!!

and kook! kylie minoge? cruise over to mjs every now and then she has several readers who love love love her! i think donn has an entire web page dedicated!

anyway, looks like the credit industry is not loving my credit score as of this moment and they are having some issues with my less than perfect score! hahahahaaaa.....

well its morning and i have some gardening to do and i might murder some trees later.

enjoy kids!!

AND LENI! YOU MIGHT HARASS FIRST NATIONS FOR AN INVITE INTO HER UNORTHODOX JUJU BLOG, ITS GREAT!!!

Suzanne said...

You aren't? Oh my God. Okay, off to solve the riddle. I was actually hoping it would be you. Honey, who do you think it is? I know it's not Rob. Yes, I know everyone's laughing...you and me. Right!

MJ said...

I've already had my dream job(s)...TWICE!

*counts blessings*

Cece said...

I came here to tell you my dream job, but got so distracted by the Suze and 69 mystery. My dream job would be a songwriter/painter. Unfortunately, I'm not talented enough to make a living at it, but it's a nice hobby.

Kookaburra said...

@Suzanne
Of course you aren't just "anyone". It is just what my comments setting is. I can't help you it seems. Time for you to ask the tech nerds at Blogger. Unless anyone else can help Suze?

Leni Qinan said...

Hunter,
You're hired.

Suz,
Xcuse me but, who's Rob? And if it's not Rob, then wth is Anon #69 (not 1, 2, or 3. I'm particularly interested in Mr. #69). Do you think it could be That Guy? (NO, he must be slamming on breaks or something like that now). Too bad.

Zack,
I would never in my whole life harrass anyone (least of all First Nations) for an invite to her blog (maybe I should ask nicely?).

Okok: FN, I will be your slave if you want me to, but please please please invite me to your absof*ck*ng wonderful JUJU blog.
(I hope this helps).

Anon #69,
After a 10 years break I started nailbiting again. Your fault.

Suzanne said...

Leni,

Hi honey. If anyone can out Anon #69 it's you. Maybe if you just try harder we can all stop biting out nails.

Rob is my husband. Rob is also Hunter the Blogger, who is not my husband. Does that make sense? If I talk to Rob here, it's generally Rob the hunter, not Rob my husband. If I refer to Rob on my Blog, it's usually Rob my husband, not Rob the hunter. God, I'm confused.

Hi Anon #69.

And no honey, I don't think Anon #69 is That Guy. Just don't see it. He's a good guy, he'd tell us. That Guy are you Anon #69?

All I can say is with the fan club you've established #69, if you reveal who you are you're going to get very lucky tonight. Smiles and adjust cereal box. Gotta boogie, chores to do.

;)

Suzanne said...

Hi Mark! Eventually I'll figure out how to comment on your blog. For now, nope, can't. I'll communicate with you via other blogs! For instance, this one! Hi Mark!


Cece. Hi honey!!! Who do you think it is? Crap like this drives me nutty. At least Zack didn't yank my chain forever. What a freakin' miracle. Well we have a small circle of friends. I say, circle the wagons and let's see who's wearing only underwear. That's the guy! I'm assuming it's a guy or smart ass Kylie. Suddenly starts hearing "Keep them wagon's rollin'..." What? Hey, cut me some slack. I was injured today and have massive wounds to prove it. I swear to God, I just got over a horrible canker sore in my mouth from my fall last week, and now I have a new one. Life is often unkind.

Okay, who are you?

ANON #69 said...

suuuze, baby

that cereal box is soooo flattering


mmmmmm hmhmmmmmmmm

gotta get me some of that

i loooove coco pops


and your knees, gorgeous baby


leni,

i'd never dump you, hon

i only have one true love, mi amor

mwah mwah mwah


love youse all !!!
♥ ♥ ♥

ANON #69 said...

kylie, i forgot kylie, with the shoulders.....

come here doll

donde hayhombres machos no mueren mujeres virgas

xx

Suzanne said...

You bastard. You said you loved me. I was your one true love. Leni was second. Leni, you first now?!!! I'm gonna get really pissed if this continues.

Looks at knees. Yup, they're pretty even after a major fall today at the park. Cece confirmed it!! But Leni's ass may have something on my knees. Looks at knees again. Yup, pretty. Looks at Leni's ass. Perfection. Okay, Leni wins!!!

The hearts. I know who you are. Yes. Like the X Files, the answer is revealed. I won't give you away for another day or so. Have fun you freakin' lunatic. No I wouldn't have picked you as #69 in a millions years. Brilliant!!! Absolutely brilliant.

;)

kylie said...

who are you calling a lunatic suze?

catscratch said...

Dream job- Uhhh. Shopping?? Does shopping count?

Suzanne said...

Yes, you. You, you, you. Absolutely brilliant. I have a new and profound respect. You killed me.

Suzanne said...

Catscratch is still answering the main question. There was one, right???!!! Oh my God I'm laughing too hard. Adjusts cereal box.

Suzanne said...

Zack. God, what you missed. But thanks for the forum. Love you baby.

Suzanne said...

Done.

kylie said...

restaurant critic

Leni Qinan said...

(*shows the victory sign with two fingers*)

Dear Suz,

Seriously, it's ok, I'm not virtually jealous. I think we could reach a peaceful agreement to draw a schedule and share Anon#69, provided that he agrees and we ever find out what his true identity is (maybe Kylie, Megan & other welcomed commenters would like to share him too, lol).

Thanks for the clarification about Rob the Hunter. I have a clear idea of who he is now (*waves hello*) but I fear you're committing bigamy or even trigamy (Rob, the Hunter and the Blogger).
(*falls off her chair laughing).

My firm and sexy lovely butt. I can't look at it too often or one day I'll fall in love with it, hahaha.


Anon #69,
I never doubted you wouldn't dump me, love, but just in case I had to warn you.
(*blows cute & tiny kiss and dashes out of blog waving goodbye*)

Suzanne said...

Well, that's just not fair.

God a new day. I'm already exhausted! Leni, you crack me up. Now I have to go back and talk to Zack. He was unkind a few posts ago. So I have to say something. I deleted what I said originally, but still have to say I love him despite the fact he can be a jerk. Life. It's so complicated.

Wish me luck at the park baby! I'm hoping for the best today because yesterday was simply pathetic!

XO

P.S. And thanks Leni, you always make me laugh. You're a smart, funny woman.

Suzanne said...

Wow

Suzanne said...

You've

Suzanne said...

just reach...

Suzanne said...

also just "reached!" 69! HAPPY DAY!

XO

Leni Qinan said...

Yeah, congrats Suz!

Happy day 2 U 2. Thanks for your sweet words and good luck at the park (btw what do you need good luck there?). I know you fell yesterday, but... why? (*looks intrigued and asks herself what your dangerous occupation at the park is). In any case, take care, ok?

Have a nice MOnday (It's getting late here).

Suzanne said...

Leni,

I go to the park every day to feed feral kitties. It's not my job, but my love. Yesterday one of my kitties tripped me. Nearly busted my face!!! I'm actually an artist and paint large canvases of what else...roses!!!

It's always so fun to talk to you. I'm so glad you're having a happy Monday because it's still Sunday here. And I really must say that you cracked me up when you stated that one of your dream jobs would be porn writer. I've never met anyone who wanted to be a porn writer, so when I look at you now I always have a really good chuckle. That's too funny!!! Good luck with that sweetie!! You know what else I love? The fact we're so different yet just adore one another. I think you're amazing and I'm glad to know you. Thank God IV has a blog!!! Oh, and really good taste in women!!!

XO

kylie said...

IV has wonderful taste in women

Suzanne said...

Amen my dear, dear friend. Amen.

Leah said...

I'm late to the...er...party...73 comments late. My dream job? knitting for a living.

And I might add that, once again, I'm loving the inner thighs...

Walker said...

My dream job would be to run a brothel.
Wait, I've done that.
Damn!!!!!!!!