Wednesday, May 13, 2009

big sur bullshit

asked a friend today for a quiz on "which big sur bartender do i mostly resemble" and here was his reply.... most of you wont know any of these people but perhaps for the ones who don't you could tell me which one you think i resemble most...


here is some help for getting started on a "which big sure bartender are you?"

-you feel the need to assert your "authority" by 86ing people on a daily basis, but you also want to be liked and are personable highly intelligent and have a jerry curl, you also get down to business when deemed are Mark Marron

-you are a blatant ass hole, you rarely hook up drinks on your shift out of sense of loyalty to being a dick rather than a sense of loyalty to your employers. you are more personable out of work than at it. You can handle the pressure with ease, but you let it eat you up at the same are Jeremiah

-you know it all, or think you do. although you aren't experienced enough to deal with liquor so you are limited to beer and wine. you are a hardass when necessary and many people think your hostility is borne out of a hidden homosexual side that shows more than you are josh V

-Everyone likes you, you get shit done. you are the proverbial man for your time and place, unfortunately you have been embracing this for too long and physician issues begin to take their toll. you are still about the best there is though, even are Normy

-you are extremely proud of your self and your job. you do it for honor, respect, dignity and because you think it makes you cool. You fail sometimes to realize that you are a bartender albeit a very good one. you can hang with the best of them and aren't afraid to let them know are Sander

-You are sick of your job and deal with it for the money begrudgingly. You do your job half assed at times, but kill it when it counts. You are sarcastic and one of the best there is, but feel it is beneath you, at the same you do not seek new challenges or responsibilities at are hickey

-you are lazy, sloppy and burly. Often times people drive away when they see working. You love to assert your authority on those weaker than you, but feel you are used to entertainment by those stronger than you. you are hooked on meth and refuse to are Boo

-you cannot do your job efficiently to save your life. you are to caught up in the world around you to focus on the task at hand. you are well liked, until you get to work. personable and knowledgeable, to a fault are Tristan

-You are quiet and reserved even at your drunkest. You are on point with your job and customers. you get shit done fueled by are Joel

-you are paranoid behind the bar for reasons that escape even you. You are intimidating and use that to your benefit when applicable. You have never hooked up a drink for anyone in your life on your watch behind the bar and have no plans to, you prefer the weekday mellow shifts but can handle the heat are Arvin

hope you enjoyed it, please don't forward or I will be forced to deny until I die....:-)


denim said...

that's classic. it should show up on the deli board somehow. O_o

Anonymous said...


Just wanted you to know that I still visit from time to time...swing by the Wild Onion when you get a chance. We need some of your humor!

kylie said...

i just wanna know how you would describe me
or maybe not

Anonymous said...

Soooo Good!

Anonymous said...

who's Joe?
-Cheese again

Megan said...

Nope, don't know any of 'em.

Brandy Rose said...

My bartender is a Normy. He's the only reason I chose his bar as my own personal Cheers.

Suzanne said...

So Joe, how's it hangin'?

No, of course I don't think you're Joe!

Suzanne said...

I can't get out of here. I have no idea why I can't exit blogs lately. Okay, so I'll chat you up a bit.

1. Always click on Hunter to see if he's returned. He hasn't.

2. I saw you over on Kylie's blog. You don't stand a chance against me because you wouldn't look good in a bikini.

3. Why do I come here? I don't know. You've abandoned me and that hurts of course, but WTF. Life's short.

4. Nice to see you're still truckin'.


Suzanne said...

No. I still can't get the fuck out of here. I'm going to have to shut down. Pathetic.

kylie said...

he doesnt abandon people, suze but he only comments when something gets him interested.

MJ said...

He likes posts with big titties.

Just a suggestion.

That Guy said...

That's rad man!
Nice work!!!
Spot on!

S. said...


Oh man. Zack, this is the most fucking hilarious quiz I have ever seen. Tell me who wrote it immediately so I can marry them.


just back from the festival of speed.....
where have all the umbrella girls gone???

btw, neighbor.... there will be no marrige for you this year... be it south of the border or north!!!

Suzanne said...

Kylie, that's really rude. So I'm not interesting. Thanks. Loved that one.

Sander said...

I think you need some more bartenders in the loop. I'm thinking at least Maloof, Susie, Rob, Levi, Mike West, Heidi, Dena, Matt Glazer.

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