Thursday, May 21, 2009

that time of year...




I've been busting my ass these weeks... and am currently trying to abort my beer baby. how long should it take to about a twenty pounder?
i haven't had time for much fucking off at work or at home. but i have time for a quick story...

last week there was a tailgate party we were uninvited to, due to the fact that my ex girlfriend lives in proximity of the parking area of the party and she is still acting like a sixteen year old fucking twat. at some point during the evening i was sitting with a group of ten friends or so, all of whom had not been invited to this party either, so i said fuck it! I'll go!!!
i decided since it was early and it was indeed a tailgate party, outside in a parking lot that i could take a little heat for showing up "verbally un-invited".
after a few more drinks and another stop later i thought of how much of a good idea it would be to "surf" a tailgate up the two mile road behind my truck. chain it to the bumper and tie a rope to the front and yahoo my way up the mountain. IT WAS A TAIL GATE PARTY AFTER ALL!!!
cheese didn't think this was such a good idea... i would have to steal a tail gate from somewhere and ride it behind my truck... and show up to a party where i was more than unwelcome! (can you imagine me not welcome somewhere!?!?!? the nerve!!! hahahaha...)
we pulled into my work and looked around for something that would qualify as a tailgate i could ride....
no love, but there was an old truck box... the kind folks put in their truck beds and put tools into and supplies... i axed two holes into the top and side of this tool box, fed a chain through and attached it to my truck... somewhere in this process i thought what a great idea it would be to fill it with ice and spray paint "happy beerthday" onto it....
how cool would that be to ride a tool box up two miles of dirt road filled with ice, a hootin and a hoolerin like i was riding a bucking bronco!!! yeah it woulda been funny.
instead i didn't remember the ice. or the spray paint... and i just dragged this fucking rattle box up the road to the designated parking lot/party area and no one was there...
they were all in the lawn directly in front of the house having a little love in thing. apparently when i arrived it turned into more of a pity party for my ex, understandably upsetting the birthday girl...

side note:funny when i where my "real forest" camo, its cause i don't want to be seen in the woods. not cause i want to pretend to be a red neck on a camp out, i digress....

we parked and some folks came over to see what all the ruckus was about. one of the land owners was there making sure i hadn't rolled my truck or some shit. the care taker popped up and was trying to figure out how to get the truck box in the back of her Subaru.. i assured them both that i would most definitely be dragging it back down the road and not to worry about the noise. it was just me...
we were asked to leave by several people and left with out much of a scene... dropped the truck box at my work and cheese and i went out to dinner afterwards... no harm no foul...

unless you don't have a sense of humor... meh.

8 comments:

MJ said...

Well that certainly beats my staying at home with dinner and a movie story.

INNER VOICES said...

you mean you dont show up drunk to parties that youve been uninvited to dragging rusty iron boxes?

*wonders if mj is telling the truth about her mellow evenings*

Mr. Shife said...

Oh I am going to long for these types of days IV. Showing up drunk and uninvited is how I met all my friends at college. I would have certainly let you stay at the party. Hope all is well.

That guy said...

Spicoli: YOU DICK!

kylie said...

when you show up uninvited at my place you can bring flowers

Megan said...

Having your ex around like that can't be fun. I don't have any exes, but I do have a few wives that hate me for casual stuff that happened YEARS before they were even around...

Kimberly said...

Just a hint of red...not much...just a hint.

I can dig it.

Daisy said...

LMAO...oh dude i so want to party with you...that is just like something i would do...only with firecracker ;)