here is some help for getting started on a "which big sure bartender are you?"
-you feel the need to assert your "authority" by 86ing people on a daily basis, but you also want to be liked and are personable highly intelligent and have a jerry curl, you also get down to business when deemed necessary.....you are Mark Marron
-you are a blatant ass hole, you rarely hook up drinks on your shift out of sense of loyalty to being a dick rather than a sense of loyalty to your employers. you are more personable out of work than at it. You can handle the pressure with ease, but you let it eat you up at the same time.....you are Jeremiah
-you know it all, or think you do. although you aren't experienced enough to deal with liquor so you are limited to beer and wine. you are a hardass when necessary and many people think your hostility is borne out of a hidden homosexual side that shows more than you know...you are josh V
-Everyone likes you, you get shit done. you are the proverbial man for your time and place, unfortunately you have been embracing this for too long and physician issues begin to take their toll. you are still about the best there is though, even injured....you are Normy
-you are extremely proud of your self and your job. you do it for honor, respect, dignity and because you think it makes you cool. You fail sometimes to realize that you are a bartender albeit a very good one. you can hang with the best of them and aren't afraid to let them know it...you are Sander
-You are sick of your job and deal with it for the money begrudgingly. You do your job half assed at times, but kill it when it counts. You are sarcastic and one of the best there is, but feel it is beneath you, at the same you do not seek new challenges or responsibilities at work...you are hickey
-you are lazy, sloppy and burly. Often times people drive away when they see working. You love to assert your authority on those weaker than you, but feel you are used to entertainment by those stronger than you. you are hooked on meth and refuse to shave....you are Boo
-you cannot do your job efficiently to save your life. you are to caught up in the world around you to focus on the task at hand. you are well liked, until you get to work. personable and knowledgeable, to a fault sometimes....you are Tristan
-You are quiet and reserved even at your drunkest. You are on point with your job and customers. you get shit done fueled by whiskey....you are Joel
-you are paranoid behind the bar for reasons that escape even you. You are intimidating and use that to your benefit when applicable. You have never hooked up a drink for anyone in your life on your watch behind the bar and have no plans to, you prefer the weekday mellow shifts but can handle the heat too....you are Arvin
hope you enjoyed it, please don't forward or I will be forced to deny until I die....:-)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A BACK DOOR VIEW?...
with friends dropping like flies around me I've spent some inner time wondering to myself why... it couldn't be my complete understanding and forgiving nature of all that is green and golden. nor could it be the fact that i hold friendship above all else and am loyal to the bone... perhaps its my "walk all over me, I'm a piece of trash" persona... or may be its that i don't fit into any group or silly little click...
i dunno... i look around and see who is still involved in my life after eleven years and change here in big sur and see who i just say "hey" to. people come and go and the friends i thought would still be here are not. I'm guilty of burning bridges for sure. starting the fire though? not my style. but I'll burn the bridge and stand on the side to watch it burn while flipping off the person on the other side. thats how i've always been, nothing new there.
so... whats it take to be my friend? you might ask? if you've been reading here long enough you might also wonder how i even have any friends at all. well that's my life. i generally surround myself with people just like me. brutally honest, to a fault. someone who can take a joke. people who know how to keep their mouths shut and help others shut theirs when necessary... some one who doesn't mind drinking alot or people who do. i most like people that help them selves. you know the ones, where they work for what they have, sometimes might need help, but will be there working with you to help fix the problem, not just throw their hands up and say what bad luck they have, or they cant do any better... everyone needs help sometimes... especially me!
i have been putting some thought into all this. how do i define my friends... some of my closest friends i hardly ever see or talk to. (hmmm, perhaps there is something to that.) but the ones i do see and hang out with know that for the most part, i have time for those who have time for me. I'm not bending over for anyone. I'm not making plans to see someone cause their ass hurts about something I've done or said.
hey, have a problem with me? did i do something you don't like? hurt your feelings?
stop by my work.
leave me a message.
when i hear that your are talking shit, i will do all of the above listed items and if i still don't hear from you i will find you. (I'm good at that.) and i will make effort to figure out what it is that you have stuffed up your ass that involves me. i would expect the same courtesy from you please...
i piss people off from time to time. i cant imagine it, but i hear through the grapevine that i do so... there is another thing that just pisses me right the fuck off!!!
"oh, (so and so) said you were doing this..." or that, or what ever the fuck it is that people say I'm doing/done, why don't they ask me about it. fuckers. lead your own lives, deal with your own drama, go fuck yerselves...
now I'm getting irritable...
i guess what i was trying to get across is, I'll burn that friendship bridge, continue pushing me, I'll burn your house down, still want to play games?, I'll set you on fire. yer not worth the piss it would take to put out the flames.
have a nice day.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I've been busting my ass these weeks... and am currently trying to abort my beer baby. how long should it take to about a twenty pounder?
i haven't had time for much fucking off at work or at home. but i have time for a quick story...
last week there was a tailgate party we were uninvited to, due to the fact that my ex girlfriend lives in proximity of the parking area of the party and she is still acting like a sixteen year old fucking twat. at some point during the evening i was sitting with a group of ten friends or so, all of whom had not been invited to this party either, so i said fuck it! I'll go!!!
i decided since it was early and it was indeed a tailgate party, outside in a parking lot that i could take a little heat for showing up "verbally un-invited".
after a few more drinks and another stop later i thought of how much of a good idea it would be to "surf" a tailgate up the two mile road behind my truck. chain it to the bumper and tie a rope to the front and yahoo my way up the mountain. IT WAS A TAIL GATE PARTY AFTER ALL!!!
cheese didn't think this was such a good idea... i would have to steal a tail gate from somewhere and ride it behind my truck... and show up to a party where i was more than unwelcome! (can you imagine me not welcome somewhere!?!?!? the nerve!!! hahahaha...)
we pulled into my work and looked around for something that would qualify as a tailgate i could ride....
no love, but there was an old truck box... the kind folks put in their truck beds and put tools into and supplies... i axed two holes into the top and side of this tool box, fed a chain through and attached it to my truck... somewhere in this process i thought what a great idea it would be to fill it with ice and spray paint "happy beerthday" onto it....
how cool would that be to ride a tool box up two miles of dirt road filled with ice, a hootin and a hoolerin like i was riding a bucking bronco!!! yeah it woulda been funny.
instead i didn't remember the ice. or the spray paint... and i just dragged this fucking rattle box up the road to the designated parking lot/party area and no one was there...
they were all in the lawn directly in front of the house having a little love in thing. apparently when i arrived it turned into more of a pity party for my ex, understandably upsetting the birthday girl...
side note:funny when i where my "real forest" camo, its cause i don't want to be seen in the woods. not cause i want to pretend to be a red neck on a camp out, i digress....
we parked and some folks came over to see what all the ruckus was about. one of the land owners was there making sure i hadn't rolled my truck or some shit. the care taker popped up and was trying to figure out how to get the truck box in the back of her Subaru.. i assured them both that i would most definitely be dragging it back down the road and not to worry about the noise. it was just me...
we were asked to leave by several people and left with out much of a scene... dropped the truck box at my work and cheese and i went out to dinner afterwards... no harm no foul...
unless you don't have a sense of humor... meh.
Monday, May 18, 2009
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.'
I'm a little tied up at work today, so you'll have to get along with just this awesome picture and a funny joke! happy Monday all!!!
I'm a little tied up at work today, so you'll have to get along with just this awesome picture and a funny joke! happy Monday all!!!
'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me..'
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his weenie through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes.'
'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. OK? Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know', says the little old lady, 'not everybody pays.'
Sunday, May 17, 2009
i shaved my moustache today.... its all gone... yep this is the most recent picture of me. looking pretty good eh???
yeah right.... its what id look like with no wrinkles and no moustache... tom seleck would frown at the thought...
nothing good today, other than i have just returned from the festival of speed!!!
dude, denim. i called a bunch this morning. sometimes yer phone rings twice and leaves you hanging... other times it kicks straight over to buzy.... i know yer just hitting the ignore button for half an hour.... muwahahahaa....
anyway, my ears are ringing and i need to hike up the mountain, so cheers...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
asked a friend today for a quiz on "which big sur bartender do i mostly resemble" and here was his reply.... most of you wont know any of these people but perhaps for the ones who don't you could tell me which one you think i resemble most...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
i get home last night with a pretty good amount of angst and border line anger built up... I'm almost pissed off to the point that I'm gonna start doing something fucking retarded. being like the person who has been giving me this angst...
then a weird thing happened....
cheese and i were sitting outside shooting the shit about another person in our lives who has caused us some pain recently and she said.." we just have to let this be water under the bridge. it has to be done."
in that moment i had a wave of enlightenment... she was right and when i applied it to my other buddy something else came to mind...
he is not our equal... we had been treating him that manner and with all that he has said and done it was really starting to hurt. words do hurt as much as sticks and stones... so i decided that since this person is beneath us and doesn't really measure up, then all he says and does are beneath us as well.
so maybe not water under the bridge, but water rolling off my back...
fuck it, he is acting like a child, might as well treat him like one eh?
"here you buddy, a fresh diaper and how bout a nice big "eat shit" flavored lolli-pop?"
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
the town i live in should have a factory that makes this product... and locals should be supplied with it for life... what is it about the inherent nature of humans to gossip? to stand around in packs and murmur to one another the things of "its not my business but...". i know back in the days it was a way of retaining ones cultural history, by passing down to the younger generations the stories of ones family or tribes history. um... we evolved and learned to read and write, well some of us did...
others did not.
so for all you gossiping fools out there, read the sign...
and if your one of the unlucky few still learning how to act socially in society by watching television, "have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up"!!!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
i just bought myself a new pair of dirt bike boots... been wearing the same pair that i bought for ten bucks at a yard sale seven years ago. they sucked ass then and hurt my feet so bad after forty minutes of riding... so i bought some ones... totally useless purchase really. but i wanted them and so there they are... new boots....
anybody else buy something totally useless recently???