Thursday, December 21, 2006
I cant seem to get started this morning... I want to motivate. Everyone here is cranky, (I'm at work). And its bringing me down. I had a bit of an off morning. I woke up earlier than my alarm clock required and its been a step off ever since. I dunno.
It seems I'm quite affected by my surroundings as of late. I feel like I might be bringing someone down. As much as I try to do the right thing, I cant seem to get it exactly right. Like this morning I somehow feel like I already fucked up. I don't know how many times I said I was sorry for things, but it wasn't necessary. I didn't do any thing wrong... I just wasn't paying attention like I should have been... I'm sorry.
Holidays are coming and this is the first year I'm excited! I really am... I will get to be around kids and watch their eyes light up and hear little squeals of joy. That's what Christmas should be about. That's what I want it to be about! I'm so humbled by her children. They are amazing.
Hopefully things will be a little more straightened out by lunch, at lunch, after lunch??? I hope.
This is just where my head is today. Right now. I need to figure out where my head is at, I seem to be in space somewhere. I'm not quite sure why...