whew... after a well needed relaxing weekend we decided to have an un-versary by jumping on the motorcycle and heading down to the cliff side restaurant at the end of our road for a bottle of champagne on the rocks to watch the sunset... after the champagne we had a couple of Sapphire and tonics with some of their famous cheese bread.
jumped on the bike and headed up the canyon and stopped at a friends house.
she wasn't home and we headed even further up the canyon.
stopped at another friends house.
he wasn't home either but his father was.
so we hung out with him and he made us some of the most glorious margaritas I've ever experienced. yes, experienced, not drank or imbibed but experienced... we sat around and talked with him for several hours about all kinds of things. he has Parkinson's and is pretty easy going about it. the guy works on his property non stop and was electrifyingly animated that evening. a real good time. we said good night and put our helmets on for the ride home. yes we do have some sense of safety.
we arrive home and parked the bike, had a cigarette and i went in to feed the dogs. some how while i was inside cheese had managed to pull the parked motorcycle over on top of her self onto the pile of lumber. no screaming, no crying, more of a "what just happened?" look on her face.
we came inside and watched the beginning of a movie before we both started to pass out. went upstairs to bed and did just that.
woke up several hours later and cheese is rocking back and forth saying, "owww, ouch, oww, owww, ouchie, oooo.... owwwhh."
i feel her head, shes got a huge turkey egg on it lumping forth and throbbing, she also cant move her shoulder....
yep, onto the hospital we go!!!
down the mountain at a speed that a snail could have over taken us and into town we go...
i wont rub it in with too much of the story but all the nurses and doctors at the near empty emergency room thought it funny that they usually get "these kinds of accidents on a Friday night, not a Sunday night." after several hours and multiple denials for shots of pain meds we head home and go back to sleep on the couch.
cheese ended up with a mild concussion and a separated shoulder, apparently she ripped all the ligaments that hold her shoulder in place apart and asides from a sling there isn't much she can do about it...
i got an extra day off work and helped cheese through the worst of the first day. yeah me!
she is wicked embarrassed and will likely be out of commission for two or more weeks. what might make her feel a little better is if everyone gives us a story of how they have fucked themselves up on accident or a ridiculous story about some one else... have a great week everyone!!!
57 comments:
FIRST!!!!
I have absolutely nothing witty to say. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahaaaa!!! welcome back random! no wit eh? huh.
Sevearl years ago I was hanging a tree stand with no safety belt on. As I wrapped the chain around the tree the branch I was standing on let go. So in a blink of an eye I came crashing down and broke a vertabrae in my back bruised my kidneys and then had the 18 lb tree stand come crashing on top of me give me two eggs on the forehead and a broken rib.
The guy I was with said he saw me go into the two foot grass and then bounce back above it and then disapear.
I walked down the hill drove my self to Christies work almost passed out from pain at the lsat exit but made it there. She drove me to the hospital where the nurses asked me to a take a set which I could not do nor could I really stand so they took me right in. While getting the mri the IV they put in let go and I bled all of the table and pillow.
MAde it home and had my doctor call me two weeks later to come in for a talk. He told me from my blood tests that he thought I had a dgenerative kidney disease because of blood crystal in my urine. I then told him that I had taken the fall which the hospital never mentioned and told me that is what it was probably from.
Six months later I Stil could not sit for more than five minutes without being able to get up so back to the doctors I went. Thats when they told me that I had broken the vertabrae. The hospital at the time did not know if it was new or old injury so they didn't mention it.
How they didn't know since I had just come down 20 feet out of a tree I will never understand
But thats my story
hntr! excellent man!!! so no sitting down for months eh?
reminds me of a story at my house the other day... and im sure you can relate... cheese girls (like most children i assume) like to start off almost every conversion with a question...
"do you know what?"
"guess what?"
"do you know what happened at school today?"
etc... etc...
we the other day mini cheese says to me...
"do you know what is really hard to do?"
i said, "yeah going poop standing up." and went downstairs. i got the most maniacle look from this five year old that i couldn't turn around or I'd be busting out in laughter....
so i feel yah man, hopefully you've now been able to sit down.
Forgot to add that they gave me vicodin at the hospital and I din't know that it constipates you. So on top of everything I couldn't shit for a week.
Nothing a reuben with xtra sourkraut didn't care of though.
Where do I start?
I'd feel bad except when Bree called to tell me this, she started the phone call with "I pulled a Shelagh..." Please remind her that I am currently without any physical ailments.
I could rub some healing liniment into her ligaments if she likes.
she she... yeah sure you are... heh heh...
mj, i am sure she would love love love that.
ha ha ha She,
I don't suppose you recollect chasing a cat onto my roof and crashing into my living room window with multiple lacerations to your wrists and hands?!! Ah no, sorry about that, your right, I guess thats not as bad as falling off a parked bike and giving yourself a concussion and a torn shoulder. Silly me. Zack, I think from this point forward there will be no more mixing of alcohol with anything having an engine. I feel so dumb!
-Cheese
My shoulder hurts.
My shoulder hurts.
My shoulder hurts.
Whoops,
just making sure you all know the kind o pain I'm in.
*groans and limps to the bathroom for more advil*
Nothing exciting over here, just your standard drunk-and-fell-down-the-stairs story, hit my head on a large metal object, puked all over myself (everyone thinks the puking was because of the drink, but no, you actually get pretty nauseated when you whack yourself a good one on the head) and woke up next morning with an ankle the size of a tennis ball. Because of course I was feeling no pain and took a shower to get all the puke off and slipped and sprained it (the ankle, I mean).
Condolences, Cheese. That totally sucks.
There was the time I fell off the back of a sailboat while pissing and smacked my face on the rudder and split open my chin. I was drunk as shit and had my naked ass pulled back on board by a VERY amused friend... Does that make you feel better?
Actually yes, that story does make me feel a little better. The pain in my shoulder seems to be lessening ever so slightly. Hunter and Megan, thanks for commiserating. Misery loves company you know. I must stop commenting now (mustn't fatigue the other arm too much. and typing left handed is just shitty).
-Cheese
Hey, remember my ex of 5 years? Yeah, her. "Wiley." Well, we were down south at a summer camp where he's the Program Director. We thought it might be nice to take the horses out for a nice uneventful ride. So we get our horses ready. Mine is one of those "I just follow the horse in front of me" horses. Hers had more of a mind of its own.
So we're walking and trotting along this trail which ends at this huge open meadow. Now, it's obvious that whoever normally rides Wiley's horse usually turns the corner and really takes off onto this meadow. Unbenownst to us. Holy shit! That horse tucked its ass like a cartoon and was tossing Wiley around on top. Finally, she got bucked off onto this tall grass, but the horse kept rolling top speed. I rode over and checked on her. She was fine, so I hauled ass after her horse like a damn cowboy! I caught up to it, grabbed the leather harness(?) and brought it back to the scene. We decided to just walk for a spell.
After awile, we thought it might be ok to try to get her back up on that stupid thing. So, she puts her foot in the stirrup, swings the other leg over, gets the other foot in the stirrup...just then, this mother fucker takes off just like before, but now we're on this narrow trail. Wiley got instantly bucked off and landed on a big ass log and got pretty hurt. Bruises all over her legs and back. Wish you all coulda seen it...much like I wish I coulda seen cheese's face when she thought WTF just happened!
Cheese, hope you're feeling ok girl. Rumor has it that it's nothing that 90 Silver Bullets can't cure!
b
Oh, her BROTHER'S summer camp.Forgot to put that in...
DAMMIT!!!! I was first BUT I COMMENTD ON THE WRONG DAMN POST!!!
Queen Goob said...
"she is wicked embarrassed".... but I blogged about it anyway.
Z? You may want to watch what you eat if Cheese is-a-cookin'.
Tell her we hope she feels better soon but nothing says "Get Well" like a hit or two of prescription pain killers.
11:25 AM
INNER VOICES said...
cheese doesnt like meds or pills. im with her on that one. but we do have her on tylonol twice a day and ibuprophen twice a day.... i give her your best wishes! thanks!!!
11:59 AM
please note there is a three hour time difference.
I am SUCH a loser!
Oh Z...my dad had Parkinson's so it was really REALLY cool to see you and your friend's dad had an "electrifyingly animated" time. That actually choked me up knowing where the disease leads.
Hugs,
QB
DON'T MIX TYLENOL WITH ALCOHOL!
No joke!
Liver processed v. Advil (ibuprofin) is kidney processed.
It's a big deal.
http://media.www.fsunews.com/media/storage/paper920/news/2005/11/03/Viewpoints/Dont-Mix.Tylenol.And.Alcohol-2355252.shtml
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2354/does-tylenol-alcohol-liver-failure-plus
CHECK IT!
hey cheese! loving you doll!
megan, we love drinking and hurting ourselves eh she she?!
that guy, the look on her face was golden! full of surprise and shock!
ggob, sorry to get you choked, we looked through his giant collection of meds and had him explain them all to us... whew... we will be there with him till hes, well till the end.
goob, thanks again for the wishes..
that guy, i'll tell cheese to check out your linksesses...
Yeah, that was coming from Male Nurse, Mac. Mfriend who's an internal medicine MD in SF adimately cautioned me about that.
no more alcohol here for the time being. wouldn't want to screw up my other shoulder.
-cheese
nah babe, we just need to get you that portable seat belt i was talking about earlier!!!
Hope Cheese is feeling better, and glad she is OK. Certainly makes for an interesting close to the weekned. No stories just out at this moment. All I can think is how I got a little too liberal with the Icy Hot in areas where you do not want to get too liberal.
We call my sister Grace.
Because she is not graceful.
On the list of shit she's done:
- Knocked over a huge display at Wal-Mart.
- Tripped on a gravel filled hole and busted her nose... also at the Wal-Mart.
- Walking through a club and tripped over her own shoe (heels of course) and fell flat on her face.
My sis is good for humiliating moments.
Yes, I knew anon was cheese. Hey Cheese. Good luck with your shoulder. I dislocated mine and delt with it for months and months on end, with lots of PT. I think I'm okay now, but when it's cold or rainy, I would like to kick someone's ass.
I love most that That Guy is concerned about you mixing Tylenol with booze. He's a god guy. Listen to him. He's right you know, so as a nurse, be careful.
Zack, this is a wonderful post. Take care of yourselves. I'm always thinking of you guys.
XO
no suze
anon is not cheese !
xx
Got into a foot pursuit of a homicide suspect. When I caught up to him, I punched him in the head and arrested him. Got called into the chief's office for congratulations and then got my ass chewed cause I had broken my hand.
I agree anon 1. Anon is not cheese
CSI, will you please break your hand on my head because apparently my brain isn't functioning properly. Clocking me might help solve the 'Anon Riddle.' Anon isn't cheese. Damn. Did you know that? Damn. Do you know who he/she is? If so, please whisper the answer in my ear. Don't worry, they won't know!
Okay, I need clue #6 because I'm a freakin' moron! Or, here, let me just wing it. Anon is IV. Right? Shut up all of you. Will someone help me. Please?
XO SUZ ;)
That Guy, you owe me. I got you to dance at the Wild Onion. Pull yourself off the floor you dancin' fool and give me the damn answer. No, it's not cheating. In America it's called cooperation. And Hunter, remember the time he stuffed you in that damn tool box and I pulled you out. You owe me too. Oh and Kylie, I've always loved you, you owe me for that. And RC, please, I've been there for you more times that I can count on my 14 fingers. You owe me. Everyone owes me. Hey, who the hell is Anon?!!! Give me three choices. I'm pretty good with multiple choice.
*Adjusts Sniper Nerd outfit, makes sure cereal box is properly positioned on head, then sits and waits for life.*
And to any of you wondering about Sniper Nerd, I can't link because I don't know how, but just click on CSI's joint and the next thing you know, you're in the Land of Funny!!!
XO
I have given 5 clues already. Lets see for clue number six
here alot
nice person
totally cool
enjoys messing with people
really enjoyed this
Now with that spelled out you should be able to guess who anon#2 is
i lurk here more often than i'm seen
totally cool?
nice person?
whoever you are anon, thanks
i had a blast !!
ti queiro suze
maybe thats te quiero
i always had terrible spanish
Suzanne!!!!!!!! Literally it is spelled out in that last clue
Anon#2
So Kylie do you take responsibility for being anon#1??
yes :)
thought i'd given it away already
i've had a blast, thanks for putting up with it.......
started as a hit at leni quinin for picking on my perfectly correct hijue puta and sort of grew from there!
only problem is i van never do it again!
muchos grasias
xx
DANG.... i was gonna let that one ride on and on and on and on and on....
Let what ride on and on and on???
LOL love the delete button
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!!!!! Hunter, honey, I'm not that smart. I would never have found that clue in a million years, but God, it's brilliant!!! Brilliant for someone really, really smart and clever. Obviously, I'm not that person! (IV, shut up ~ I know you would have liked to see me tormented forever! Dick weed.) Hunter, here honey, I bought you some truffles. I know how you love chocolate (yup, you threw me off with that one). Hummmmmmmmmm, why can't I stop laughing. Why in the hell I'm I always the last to know shit? Even in my own family???!!! I'm going to stop doing the obvious. I'm no longer reading horizontally. And I'm never going to live this one down you know. Never. Our friends have long memories. Damn. I will forever be referred to as Suzanne the Blogging Fool (aka STBF). Damn. And you know what else is so funny, I never considered you for a single moment. Never. But I laughed so hard when I read my last comment and ask for the offender to "buck up." Hey! Thank baby!!!
Oh, now I have a fun story for you. I was in the woods about 5 days ago with my remaining kitties and all of a sudden they ran and I turned around and looked up. And there they were. Two very, very, very big deer about 3-4 feet away. HOLY CRAPPER! Yes, I actually said that out loud. I saw that video of a hunter wresting a deer on America's Funniest Videos. We all looked at one another in total disbelief. They seemed as surprised by me as me by them. So we just didn't move. At all. I eventually said "You're gonna have to get outta here because I have no options." They didn't move. I said "No really, get," and stood up because my thighs were on fire! They bolted like lightening. Stuff like this happens to me all the time. I don't know why animals think I'm wallpaper. Coyotes run 2 feet behind me. Skunks think I'm dead wood. I don't know!!! It's funny. I smell my underarms and they don't smell too bad, my hair's clean, my clothes are freshly laundered, what? What am I missing?!
Oh, and just so you know, I told them it was their lucky day because I'm not a hunter. Would you expect less? No. And by the way, they were beautiful. I remember thinking, wow (just don't hurt me!!!).
Love you so much for the big reveal. You're the best. *Is last seen stuffing IV in tool box.*
;)
Too late baby. I saw it. You M.F. You would have tormented me forever. Okay, I take back everything I just wrote. I want the damn truffles back too. Bastard. No, I'm not going to forgive you. Here honey, a Haiku:
May you see
only what appears
for a moment.
;)
Suzanne...the language. I left these clues. One I talked about my postings. I wold post on other pages as myself then post an anon comment right after.
I made a comment about the ham..knowing that it was not your style.
I told you I had been to cali. Which is true. IV myself and another guy moved out there together and it has been many years since i was there.
I mistyped another. I meant it to read..I see you also wake up early in the states. One I wake up first being on the east coast and also I wake up early for hunting.
The fifth clue was the poem. I wrote one before on IV's blog. I thought that would give it away.
Then last but not least was spelling hnter vertically.
Please don't take away the truffles...please....i beg you. How about the cupcake. Do I still ge that??
I love to play jokes and when the first anon popped up it only seemed natural to ride some coat tails and have some fun messing around.
Oh Rob, I love you so much. I'm would never be angry. You're so clever and so much fun. Honey, you know what, I don't think I would ever have figured it out. Ever. It was so beautifully orchestrated. I was just thinking about all the clues and realized I would never have have figured it out. I'm just not that logical. Every clue is priceless, but not something I'd connect. My brain just doesn't work that way. I'm trying to think how it works. I don't know. I don't have words. No, I'm not a completely dumb chick as I'm sure you realize!!! But I do have limits!!! (IV, shut up.)
I love you so much you can keep the truffles. And here honey, extra cupcakes for your wife and kids. You know how sugar makes life so simple!!! And Rob, thanks. This was too much fun. And thanks too for the final reveal. That was wonderfully funny and also an absolute relief. Knowing is a gift. Big hug my dear friend.
XO
When I move home, I'll only be a border away. You and your family are always, always welcome. But only in Spring and Summer because I refuse to see a deer go home on the top of your SUV or 4x4. What?
;)
wtf just happened???????
i was out and now i'm in?????
must be what guys feel like
yay!!!!!
the game goes on!!!!!!
Anon, shut up. I'm not falling for it Zack. Here honey, want a cupcake? Chocolate. Your favorite.
The whole group of you (Kylie included) are insane.
;)
THAT ANON WAS NOT ZACK SUZ. IT WAS ANOTHER FRIEND OF YOURS...
SHEEZE... AND SHE EVEN ADMITTED BEING THE CULPRIT IF YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION EARLIER...
AND ITS NOT CHEESE. CHEESE SIGNS HER NAME CHEESE.
Yes, that was me too. I was counting on the fact you were still drunk from last night and hadn't logged on to the computer. This is my lucky day.
Love you Zack. You've cut me more slack than I deserve, so I'll cut you some.
XO
Oh yeah, husband and I trekked up to the source of a waterfall on the Big Island, Hawaii...long long jaunt, wonderful day, husband decides to go rock hopping, does extreme ligament damage to ankle/lwr leg, has to be carried back one hour walk to the car...what a trip...it sounds short but this is a comment box, not a freakin' book... :)
Oh yeah, husband and I trekked up to the source of a waterfall on the Big Island, Hawaii...long long jaunt, wonderful day, husband decides to go rock hopping, does extreme ligament damage to ankle/lwr leg, has to be carried back one hour walk to the car...what a trip...it sounds short but this is a comment box, not a freakin' book... :)
btw margaritas with your friends father sounds the ticket...
I had to read this post a few times. Let me comment:
- your wife is "cheese", no?
- that restaurant looks BEAUTIFUL!
- as for a story, I don't have one. But I did see a severely mentally challenged girl smoking yesterday... that was a first.
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