WHAT THE FUCK

IT SEEMS I SPEND A LOT OF MY TIME HERE BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT THIS OR THAT... HOW DO I CUT THAT SHIT OUT??? HOW DO I NOT TALK ABOUT MY DAILY CRAP ON HERE... WELL I WRITE MOSTLY AT WORK SO THATS ABOUT WHAT GOES ON HERE...

WELL IVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THINGS A LITTLE DIFFERENT LATELY... I KNOW I KEEP SAYING THAT SHIT IN A NEGATIVE MANNER BUT THINGS ARE STARTING TO WORK OUT... JUST CHANGING MY ROUTINE A SMALL BIT AT A TIME... TRYING TO REDUCE MY STRESS LEVELS... DO FUN THINGS... PROBLEM IS IVE ALSO BEEN DRINKING ALOT LATELY AS WELL.. EVERYTHING INVOLVE DRINKING.. THE SOFTBALL GAMES, CAMPING, SHIT EVEN WENT FISHING THIS WEEKEND (OF COURSE WITH BEER... ) IM HOPING THAT WHEN I DECIDE TO STOP SMOKING THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE EVEN MORE... I WANT TO BE IN BETTER SHAPE... I LOOK AT LEVIS ARMS AND THINK "I USED TO HAVE THOSE ARMS..." MY LEGS USED TO BE POWER HORSES... NOT BRAGGING BUT THEY LOOKED GOOD ENOUGH THAT PEOPLE USED TO COMMENT... NO MORE.. IM FAT... PLAIN AND SIMPLE... ITS NOT THAT IM TERRIBLY LAZY... JUST HAVE A LOT OF EXTRA FAT... QUITTING SMOKING WILL HELP THAT TOO... ILL NEED SHIT TO FILL IN THE SPACES WHEN IM THINKING ABOUT SMOKING... MAY BE DO THOSE PUSH UPS I USED TO DO... ANYWAY...

I NEED TO START THINKING ABOUT SOME OTHER POSITIVE SHIT AS WELL.. NEED TO GET BACK UP TO CANADA AND HANG OUT WITH MY FAMILY THERE... WANT TO BE MORE OF A PART OF ALL THAT... BE MORE INVOLVED WITH MIKE AND HOW THINGS ARE WORKING OUT FOR HIM... MY MOMS ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP AGAIN AND I WANT TO DISAPPEAR FOR WHILE BUT THATS JUST DESTRUCTIVE... I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT TO LEAVE BUT, WELL I KNOW WHAT IT IS...IM LYING... I WANT TO BE GONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY, CHRISTMAS ALL THAT SHIT... I HATE EXPECTATIONS... ANYWAY... YEAH POOR ME...FUCK YOU...

ILL GET IT SOON... YOU KNOW MY BODY IS A TEMPLE... WHY DO I FILL IT WITH SHIT INSTEAD OF GOOD THINGS??? I DUNNO... THATS JUST MY LIFE.. TO THE EXTREME... WITH EVERYTHING... IT JUST SEEMS FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS ITS BEEN EXTREME PARTYING... TIME TO CHANGE THAT UP A LITTLE BIT.. I HAVE A LOT OF OTHER INTERESTS THAT NEED ATTENDING TO... ILL GET THERE... JUST HAVE TO GET OFF THE MAGIC BUS FIRST...

THOUGHT ID PUT THIS PICTURE ON THERE TODAY BECAUSE IT IS KIND OF HITTING HOME FOR ME RIGHT NOW... I NEED TO CUT THAT SHIT OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW, WHILE I HAVE THE CHANCE...