YEAH...SO MUCH SPENT ON WAITING FOR DIAL UP... BUT ORIGINAL THOUGHTS DONT HAPPEN WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE LUXURIES OF LIFE TO WORK IN YOUR FAVOR... I WAS FULLY READY TO UNLEASH THIS ANGRY TORRENT OF BULLSHIT OUT ONTO HERE... LUCKY YOU, SPARED BY DIAL UP... HAD SO MUCH TO SAY, THEN BY THE TIME THIS SCREEN POPPED UP, READY FOR ME TO EXPLODE I WAS LAUGHING AT FUCKING COMPUTER... THIS IS PATHETIC... ALL OF THIS SUCKS... IM LOSING MY MIND.. I CANT REMEMBER SHIT... FOR EXAMPLE... RIGHT NOW I SWEAR THE KEYBOARD IM USING IS DIFFERENT THEN THE ONE AT MY WORK... (NOT DRUNK, NOT TOO STONED...) BUT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE BUTTONS??? IM HAVING TO LOOK AT THEM TO HIT THE RIGHT ONES... NORMALLY I CAN DO IT BY MEMORY? FUCK I HAD A PROBLEM NOT TWO MINUTES AGO WHERE I COULDNT CONVERT MILITARY TIME OVER INTO A STANDARD TWELVE HOUR DAY... AND ITS BEEN HAPPENING MORE AND MORE... WHAT THE FUCK!!! ARRG... THATS WHAT THE HELL IS ADDING TO MY MOOD... YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... ALL THIS WORK CRAP MEANS NOTHING... LEFT THAT SHIT BEHIND... WAIT... DONT BITCH ABOUT IT THEN... I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET IT ALL OUT... RIGHT NOW IF I STOPPED BREATHING IT MIGHT NOT BE A BAD THING... IM TIRED...YEAH MORE WHINING...
FUNNY THOUGHT.. IM ACCUALLY LAUGHING IN SIDE...IM DRINKING WINE.. APPARENTLY A PUN NOT INTENDED...
WHERE DO I PUT ALL THIS ENERGY... THIS ANGER AND HATRED TOWARDS MYSELF? WHY DO I FEEL I HAVE TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE.. CANT I LET IT GO? RELEASE IT... WHY DO I FEEL LIKE ITS MORE OF AN IMPLOSION... LOCK IT UP.. HIDE IT... THATS NOT WHO YOU REALLY ARE... WHY DOES DEATH ALWAYS SEEM BETTER...NOT EASIER... IS IT SOMETHING YOU REALLY HAVE TO WORK FOR... IS THAT IT, IS THAT WHY PEOPLE HAVE TO LIVE THEIR WHOLE LIVES TO GET IT??? IS THAT WHY SOME OF THE BEST PEOPLE DIE EARLY??? BECAUSE LIFE IS SO PAINFUL... YOU HAVE TO WORK TO GET TO THE END... IS THAT WHY EVIL PEOPLE LIVE LONGER LIVES...IS THIS HELL? AM I TRULEY EVIL AND DESERVE TO SUFFER FOR SO LONG...IS THIS THE PLACE WHERE WE DECIDE WHERE WE GO AFTER?? WHAT??? POOR YOU... DEAL WITH IT...
FUCK IT... WHERE WAS THAT GOING... AND THEN THERE IS ME... THE BY PRODUCT OF RATIONAL THOUGHTS...ME... WHO EVERY KNOWS... HI TO ALL... I THINK IM THE FORTH OR FIFTH VOICE LET OUT IN THIS POST... THIS IS RIDICULOUS... IM SO DARK, OOOHH...
I THINK I WRITE LIKE THIS, WITH ALL THE PERIODS SO THAT I UNDERSTAND ALL THE SHORT SPACES IN BETWEEN THINGS... THAT THERE ARE TIMES IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES WHERE EVERYONE ELSE INSIDE MY HEAD SCREAMS SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE.. THATS SOMETHING... WHAT EVER...WHO GIVES A SHIT..
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