Friday, October 31, 2008

all jokes aside... this is a fucking public service anouncement.


so while the normal posts around here are funny and lighthearted id like to take a minute and be fucking serious... this is a nasty time of year. there are a lot of dumb-fucks and retards out on the roads and highways. even more on city streets and town round-a-bouts...
whats that you say? i always have stories about waking up at home and having a road soda.. yes its true, but on nights like tonight every asshole and douche bag is going to be out there doing what took me twenty years to perfect but they will be doing it dangerously...
people, get to where you are going early tonight. take a taxi. walk your ass over there. do it early and don't be a jack-ass. tonight, one drink is one drink too many for the mayhem that ensues on these rookie drinking and driving holidays. even if you have a designated driver, they will be distracted. a car full of revelers is one thing, but a car full of people in costumes drinking and yelling is another. add some schmuck stick throwing eggs at you from a highway over pass, throw in a little drunk guy in the car next to you and a fucking mess ensues.
take it from a schmuck stick, a douche bag, a jack ass, a seasoned drinker, tonight is not the night to fuck around with your lives and the lives of others...

ARE YOU PEOPLE LISTENING YET!!!! DO NOT BY ANY MEANS DO ANY DRINKING AND DRIVING THIS EVENING!!!

now that being said, have fun, get totally wasted, flash us your tits, have promiscuous sex in public places with men dressed up as Indian prostitutes and be sure to puke and rally if the occasion arises!!! much love and luck to you all....

40 comments:

Suzanne said...

Hi Sweetie! I was just visiting Hunter. Okay, I'm just going to say it...I don't think you should own guns. No really, I'm serious. What?

Do you realize I'm #1? Wow. What an honor. I'll give you my honest advice. I think you should trick or treat as Hunter's daughter: Orange hair and a pink dress. That'll work.

XO

MJ said...

I think I'll just stay indoors and twiddle Beast's moobs.

Dr Zibbs said...

I hear you loud.And.Clear.

INNER VOICES said...

suz, its a gun thing, you wouldnt understand. thanks though.

mj, moob twiddler... take a picture.*wonders what that outfit looks like*

dr.zibbs every now and then i get a rant on, this was a mild one... glad we are on the same page!!! welcome back...

Megan said...

No worries here mate.

INNER VOICES said...

good on you meg, its one of the scary driver holiday boozer days for sure... have fun! hope to hear some more wrestling stories on monday!!! hahahaha... *pokes meg in side with finger*

That Guy said...

I'm Doggin' it for your reasons stated above. Location, location, location...Have fun up there!

INNER VOICES said...

that guy. the dog should be a fun time, i think the choadster is having an afterparty... bring a chic he can mooch on.

That Guy said...

Also, girls, I'll be the guy dressed up as an Indian prostitute for your promiscuous sex in public places pleasure.

That Guy said...

Also, girls, I'll be the guy dressed up as an Indian prostitute for your promiscuous sex in public places pleasure.

INNER VOICES said...

that guy said it twice just so you know who that guy is... i suppose i should have given mr.shife proper credit for that costume idea... but hey, if it worked for him, it could work for you too!

Leni Qinan said...

Yeah, it's pretty obvious he said it twice so that everybody knows who he is (*falls off her chair laughing*)

As I commented on your last post, there's no Halloween night here -though things seems to be changing: I'm just back from doing some shoppings and saw some groups of kids disguised as witches, skeletons, etc. There are parties downtown too, so...

I'll take your advice and maybe if the Indian prostitute would be kind as to give me his cellphone number I could consider going out for some fun tonight. ;))

(Have fun and enjoy!)

That Guy said...

leni qinan: I think I love you. IV, will you be a Halloween match maker please?

Leah said...

Brooklyn after dark on Halloween is no joke. Trick-or-treating with the Hedgehog and her friend is strictly an ending-at-dusk kind of event. The only drinking we'll be doing is some hot choco by the fire afterwards...I'm already yawning...

INNER VOICES said...

that guy, sure buddy, first all you will need is a private plane to bring you to spain. then you will need some serious woo-ing magic and finally somehow manage not to get your picture taken in public with leni for the newspaper... she is quite famous...


*inner voices waves his "magic wand" about and does some Halloween matchmaking moaning and grunting for that guy best chance at hallowed love*


leni, see what youve started *giggles* now you will have all the inner voices minions following you around this evening!! have have another excuse to give a party day to you!!!

Leah said...

p.s. I hate like heck to say it, Suze, but I get the gun thing...believe it or not...just not on Halloween night in Brooklyn, mwahahaha...

xoxo to all the gun lovers and not-lovers.

INNER VOICES said...

leah, yeah its a tough one when ones "hood" gets tougher the darker it gets... does that make sense? but solo-coco? it is a friday... but those dont really hold their value anymore either do they? happy evening of trickotreating..

*hides jealousy with big smile*

INNER VOICES said...

gah, leah you keep sneaking up on me....

*pats leah down to make sure shes not packin any heat*

Leah said...

Well not solo-coco...

That Guy said...

Yeah, but I can't afford a private plane, have zero game, get star-struck (thanks for telling me, dick), and am hung like a mosquito. Does she make any exceptions?

~Patiently Wondering (and actively "romancing" myself.

INNER VOICES said...

THAT GUY, hmmm... chances are looking slim my friend... perhaps a flight to spain, some candied apples from the evil witch who lives in the woods with the big wart on her nose, and a cloak of darkness then...

*jumps up and down doing saying "woogie woogie woogie, scooby doobie doobie, rubber duck rubber duck, walla walla bing bang"*

there that should do it...

good luck!

That Guy said...

*gets an all expenses trip to Spain and...LAID

**thanks IV for, well, everything!

INNER VOICES said...

that will cost you the virginity of your first born daughter...

*shakes hands on the deal and dissipates in to the air. a calm and eerie silence is all that is left.*

INNER VOICES said...

*just noticed he said "giggles" earlier, smacks self in head with hoof again, missing mouth*

just bob said...

I agree... don't EVER drink and drive. Good job IV.

just bob

INNER VOICES said...

thanks just bob!!!! what will you be doing this hallowed eve?

FirstNations said...

I plan to drink and hand out halloween candy. which, given the weather presently, means that I'll be drinking and eating halloween candy.

Satan, why is your weenis a tiny turtle? William Blake was under the impression that Satan actually has a pigs weenis. one of those squiggly ones about a yard long. I'd switch tarot decks if I were you. seriously.

Walker said...

You just can't teach the young any more.
They have these new fancy cars with leather seats and they go out drinking and driving then out of the blue they hit a pot hole and

BAM.

Red wine all over the seats and the bottle is in your date's eye.

The bad news is, the seats are fucked.
The good news is the date can still be fucked, it was only her eye.

So you're right drinking and driving is bad, for many reason.

Have a Happy Halloween and be careful leaning over the railing on the overpass.

Suzanne said...

On shut up. I understand a gun thing. Why? Who f******* knows. But I do.

CSI Seattle said...

Even just driving comes with serious risks when the young ones are amped up on candy and fun.

Happy Halloween.

Suzanne said...

I had a fun one today. Trust me!

Megan said...

Home safe and sober. But there were sure some crazies on the road!

Leni Qinan said...

Hey IV, your magic wand and your matchmaking spell worked, haha!

That Guy made his way safe and sound in a private plane to Spain. He managed to do that discreetly but today our pic is on first page of all the Spanish newspapers, disguised as Indian prostitutes.

First thing he did when he landed was giving me a hexed candied apple to eat and and and and and and.. (yes, 5 ands in public places, just as he offered, not too bad for my first Halloween night, hahaha)... then he left the morning after in his private jet, leaving me speechless and exhausted (*smiles*).

Hey That Guy... when is the next party? ;)

Suzanne said...

I see a turkey.

kylie said...

hey,
im just saying hello

k

Leni Qinan said...

Suzanne,
where's that turkey? (*stands on tiptoe and looks far away in the distance*).. Xmas? Thanksgiving? (I think it's on 11/28 this year, right?). Thanks for telling me!
((Hm... I hope That Guy knows that too. (*waves hello and winks*) ;)))

Jeez, i think I desperately need to buy a US holiday calendar.

INNER VOICES said...

hello all, glad everyone had a safe and sound hallowed eve.... ill be back tomorrow!!!


thank you for all your comments!

Suzanne said...

Leni,

I have turkeys in the back yard and they're also at the Vets!!! Call us lucky! Call the turkeys lucky too because we don't shoot!

You do need an American calendar. I just bought my new one yesterday. I usually spend about $20 for something lovely to look at all year, but believe it or not I paid $4.99 for a gorgeous thing at Long's yesterday. Do you want me to buy one for you? It's called "Simplicity." I'll post some photos for you. You have Long's in Spain, right?

And Walker, you are so nasty! I reread that damn thing. That's nasty. I'm going to inform all young woman with big boobs to run like a MF if they see you. I'll even stop and give um a ride. What? Oh, but I have small boobs, so I'll be waiting for you!!! I'm at the entrance to highway 34B. I'm wearing a white organic cotton tee-shirt with short sleeve. I should be the only gal there. Oh, blue jeans too.

XO

Queen Goob said...

After all my hoopla about a crazy holiday weekend, I went to two football games and finished cleaning my house.

I did drink but I didn't drive; was I good enough for ya?

INNER VOICES said...

nations, with pecks that big something had to be sacrificed... why do you think he gets all the virgin sacrifices?

walker, so true man...