Thursday, December 18, 2008

whadda ya do...


this year little cheese wants a lap top. she is ten. two weeks ago i got her one from my work, but she cant put itunes on it. it hooks up to the Internet just fine and many programs (email, penguin whatever the fuck it is, IM, etc.) all work on it. its just not the "cool one".
agreed it doesn't do all the bitchin shit that her friends new mac top does, but it is portable and she can sit on the couch to use it.
i don't have a lap top, cheese has one for her nursing program and for school. she is 28. i am thirty five and would also like a lap top...
cheese called the girls' dad last night and she was informed that he was told that "we were buying her a laptop for Christmas", (did that make sense?) we'd like to, but i don't believe that is gonna happen. i told little cheese if she wants to sell the dirt bike i bought for her last Christmas we might be able to arrange something. we also told her if she saves a hundred bucks, we each might be persuaded to pitch in a hundred bucks towards the purchase of a new laptop. she hasn't been real motivated on the saving/working for money this year so WTF?
i remember wanting things so badly for Christmas as a kid and not getting them. its normal isn't it? are kids supposed to get everything they want just because they ask for them?
I'd love to buy her a new computer, shit I'd love to buy me a new computer!!
after deciding not to get her the computer, we spoke at length about when the "right time" would be to purchase such a tool. (see that? i said "tool" not "toy") little cheese starts middle school next fall and that is perhaps a better time for that.
i know its tough when you see your friends with all their cool shit, that feeling never goes away mind you, but just because they have one doesn't mean everyone gets one. (i used to fucking HATE, HATE, HATE, hearing that and am starting to sound like my father).

*smacks self in face with rubber hose to snap out of it*

i don't know how the hell I'm doing with this parenting bit, but it seems to be going well enough. i just wish she'd be more into dirt biking, shooting guns, staying up and partying all night, driving trucks in the mud while trespassing, etc.. you know more like me... (JUST KIDDING, I LOVE HER FOR BEING HER!!! LITTLE CHEESE IS THE BOMB!!!) so all jokes aside, do your ten year old children have laptops that they take to the fifth grade and to friends houses and shit?!?!? or are we not alone in this shit about the computer... i had planned on a new surround stereo system and t.v.d.v.d. set up for her room as her last one broke and i stole the t.v. back for the shop since the d.v.d part was fucking up all the time and they broke the remote....

oooh and another thing, do we/i break the news now about the no laptop and cope with the moping and doping around for the next week or wait for Christmas to see that look of surprise on her face...

...and one other funny twist, mini cheese who is six, only wants a slinky or maybe some new clothes?!?!?

22 comments:

denim said...

so daddy told daughter that mommy and other daddy are buying her a computer for xmas? ...

shouldn't daddy have kept that to himself?

regardless, i would let her down asap, nothing worse than waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for what you know is a sure thing, only to find it isn't there. that's a heartbreaker.

as for needing one, i don't think she does. if she was born into a rich family then she would have all of that shit, show it to her friends, and then be bored with it soon after since none of her friends can share in the fun. but she wasn't born into a rich family, much like the rest of us. sooner or later she will figure that out, i'm guessing sooner since she is pretty bright.

it's just 'stuff' anyway. the sooner that's communicated and understood, the better.

my 2

Megan said...

Jeez. When I was ten I was still playing with jacks and practicing my chinese jump rope skillz...

That Guy said...

Dude, there's NO END to the "wants" around these parts. And I speak for myself. Let alone a kid who's friends are Carmelites...fuck. I love the idea of her saving $100. She HAS the uncool one, ie: what she NEEDS (arguably). Sounds perfect to me man...seriously.

Oh, and tell her before xmas...that day should be all smiles.

Leah said...

Yeah, definitely let her down now.

Hedgehog is 8, and Sarge and I have always said that she won't get a laptop till maybe 8th or 9th grade--in the meantime, her school doesn't encourage computer use for homework, so that won't be an issue--but we'll see how that plan holds out!!!

All that said, I have such a hard time saying no to things...

I really like what denim said--"it's just stuff anyway. The sooner that's communicated and understood the better." Hear, hear.

You're doing a great job though. Parenting is so fucking hard and it never lets up...

Sausage Mechanic said...

I don't envy you your position. My kids are grown up now. Guess what? I actually denied many of their ridiculous requests for expensive items when they were young. They grew up to understand that some things must be earned...and they still love me. You're doing the right thing.

I've given you an award. Check out my blog if you'd like to claim it.

oread the SSA said...

I'm glad I'm still at the "I want action figures and candy and a cool pen" stage with 5 year old Gooneybird. I think middle school is when I started whining for a computer/discman/stereo/gameboy/etc...along with brand name clothes and shit. Middle school is when they teach girls to be conspicuous consumers, and that you're only as interesting as the shit you own. Good grief, I fucking hated middle school.
My advice? Tell her to suck it up, she WILL thank you for it later.

Megan said...

Yep, what they all said. :)

MJ said...

Get a vasectomy.

CSI Seattle said...

Mini CSI is only five years old. All he wants is a rifle for Christmas. I love that little guy...

Suzanne said...

I'm with Megan.

Being from a BIG family I never got what I wanted, but always got lots of nice little stuff. I look back on those years with great fondness. Seriously. I think my parents did a remarkable job and they never answered a single childs prayers!!! Despite not receiving the gorgeous doll from the Sears Catalogue and lots of new clothes, I turned out pretty well and my friends and family still loved me after the holiday was over. I think that's the measure of a good parent. Not a lap top.

I wasn't blessed with kids, but grew up with lots and lots, so understand the wants and needs of a child. You and Cheese are doing beautifully. Keep up the good work. Little Cheese will grow up one day, look back on her life and appreciate the sacrifices the two of you made and be grateful you weren't able to give her everything she wanted. The two of you will empower and motivate her to find the world on her own. I honestly think that's the most important gift of all. And if she still craves "stuff," she'll have a good job and the ability to pay for it herself. But I think she'll learn the most important lesson of all...life isn't about "stuff." That's certainly what I learned and am forever grateful.

Beautiful post. And I agree with everyone, tell her before Christmas because Christmas day is very special and should remain so.

Love you dear and good luck. XO

P.S. Commented down below (God I love saying that!) and at the Wild Onion. The WO post killed me. Yes, it's official, you're a comedian.

Old Knudsen said...

What does a 10 year-old do with a computer? the answer is um no its Barbie time. Nor do they need Ipods or cell phones, just because everyone else is a bad parent and turns their kids into mindless plugged in mongs doesn't mean you have to.

You are my 13th follower, I was wondering who it would be, welcome Loki.

Daisy said...

you are doing fine...keep to your ideals and when you make those decisions just go with them...if everytime a teen or preteen wanted something and used those puppy dog eyes to get it and we got it for them...they wouldn't know what to appreciate...sure all of her friends may have it now...but i will guarantee there are not as many kids out there with them as she is presenting to you...if she wants itunes get her an mp3...those nano's are cool as hell...and she will learn to be happy with what she has instead of feeling the need her whole life to "keep up with the jones"...you are teaching her the important lessons right now...don't be remiss in your part of the overall plan...

Queen Goob said...

Z - you are a GREAT parent. My kids are 16 and 15 and just got an old, used, refurbished computer that is about the size of the one from the movie War Games. No laptops for them. Also, I told them no computer for schoolwork until they learned the dewy decimal system. They still don't know it.

When my Z wanted to upgrade from the cell phone I got him when he turned fifteen and I told him to either stick with the one that I got him or save his money and buy is own. He saved and bought. He also apprdciates it more as he knows I won't replace it.

I tend to cave as well when my kids want things BUT I get what I can afford, not necisarrily what they want.

I think your gift is perfect for her - she can pop a CD in there if she wants to listen to music, right? If not just get her a CD player and set it up next to her. BADDABING......music!

Remember, you're teaching her values and morals, not teaching her that everything comes easy.

BRAVO myt friend!

FirstNations said...

we used to beat the ssa with a section of rubber hose until we knocked all that 'fanciness' out of her. barring that a couple of days out in the garage without food or water usually straightened her right up. her favorite christmas present was a big wood beetle on a string as I recall.

let the kid down now. you'll have pouting and sighing and tears, but look at it as practice for what the next seven or so years are going to be like. and ramp back on the techno toys NOW, voices. this is how corporate america trains parents to be consumer slaves and kids to be materialistic status clones.

peace. love. tie-dye.

That Guy said...

First Nations...you good funny. And right on.

Walker said...

A yeah you got to love other people spending your money.
Just tell her she is getting the laptop the day after her father gets her the new SUV for you to drive her around in.

Oh and "i just wish she'd be more into dirt biking, shooting guns, staying up and partying all night, driving trucks in the mud while trespassing, etc.. you know more like me..."

She'll do that when you;re not looking LOL

From what it sounds like you are doing a great job of the parenting thing.
Kids have to learn disapointment to you know.
Get her something cheaper with enough of a distraction to keep her going until she is in middle school and then she cam brag about how much newer her new laptop was compared to the old dogs her friends have to use.

Life is a head game, you just got to play it better than the enemy and the little cheeses of the world so the everyone is happy in the end.

LYDIA said...

Howdy!

I tagged you for the That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts for Sick People Stockpile. Check my blog for details.

Megan said...

Yeah, what they all said!! :)

Really, all kidding aside this is great advice from some great people. I think I like Nations the best, though!

Brandy Rose said...

Maybe if you let her drive the truck in the mud, she could be more interested, hehe...

catscratch said...

Kiddies know and understand what they learn at home.....

There is a BIG difference between my kids and my hub's kids... HUGE.

Mine are unspoiled and thankful for the sox and chonies they get in their stocking.

INNER VOICES said...

EVERYONE WOW!!!! you guys are all so fucking awesome with words of encouragement and support! thank you many times over for all your kinds words and thoughtful advice...
*looks downwards and shuffles feet around, while holding his hands behind his back*
as it turns out, cheese talked with little cheese about our fortunate situation here...
we are quite lucky to live a lifestyle where we can afford to have wants. that its a good thing to desire nice things and to be able to enjoy the things we already have. but we dont always get everything we want and that some people right now (including some of her peers) can barely afford to NEED things... some folks dont have jobs right now to pay for trees or to put gifts under them.
we fall somewhere in between, we will have an exciting christmas and a year to come but there be will no laptop at this time...


no tears... no moaning and groaning but completely understanding and groovy like...

ahhhh.... so sweet... cheeses kids are fucking bomb and id imagine any reader who knows me personally would agree...


thanks again all...









*takes note on nations advice and wonders if that works on girlfriends as well*

oread the SSA said...

IV - it TOTALLY does. At least the ones I had.

Every time ma beat me with that rubber hose, I turned a little bit more Nell on 'em. But wayhey - the special ones are the easiest to boss around and make your personal beer fetcher.