max and i years ago at my work, miss that fucking dog!!yeah, yeah, fucking yeah.... i have not been able to get my blogging fix in three days. and here i am getting ready to drive off to the fucking parts store yet again for more "urgent, got to have it" stuff. the main bosses car truck sprung a heater core leak this morning and filled his double cab with antifreeze. this fucking guy didn't realize that it was happening so he kept turning the settings up and up... so now not only are the floor mats full of anti freeze but the entire cab reeks of it! hahahahaha....
i was trying to get into town to pick up my new motorcycle tires on the same trip but they were not ready! shit...
did anyone play an April fools joke on blogger beside Knudsen's lame attempt?
okay, while the Internet was down the tech here went around fucking with every ones computer. says to me...
"you need to get rid of all that porn on Marty's computer."
"what porn?"
"all the pictures of cocks and vaginas." he says it loud enough for everyone in the office to hear.
"i don't have any porn on this computer, i have it all on mine at home."
"yes you do." he is turning red and getting bent that he didn't embarrass me.
"show me then."
he fuddles around with a *.jpeg search and comes up with a number of lewd photographs, some with cock. some with vaginas and some with both. since i had never seen this kind of hard drive search before i sat down and looked at all the options. there was organize by date, size, last modified, users, type of file etc, etc...
so i clicked on the user feature and all was rearranged. looked for the techs name in the user lists and what did i find?!?! that in the years 2001 and 2002 in the administrator/Tim files was all the cock and balls photo links. saved in triplicate to each hard drive in this computer. hmmm...
"hey Tim! why does all the porn on this computer have your name on it!" i call out from the back office.
"what!?!" he comes running back. "NO IT DOES NOT!"
"well, i don't know what I'm doing but here it says a 8:15 a.m. on Feb 6th 2001 that the administrator/Tim saved this 238 MB file to the three hard drives. it says that name on all the fucking porn on this computer. look."
"well someone must have had my password and used it." he says in a huff.
"i don't think so, and everything I've ever saved here says guest/Zack. i never would have been allowed within spitting distance of this computer in those days. and all my porn on this computer is bad jokes at worst."
"you must have done this..." he storms out and goes to his truck and drives off.
so i spent most of yesterday teaching my self how to delete files and clean up this computer. see the owner is coming back from her three month trip to Tibet and china. she has spent the last several weeks in "his Holinesses" good company. (the Dali lama, perhaps you have seen him on the news.) and i need to make it look like i never even sat at her desk. it all looks like normal except for the large grease stain on the leather chair and the funny red stain on the desk that wont go away!!! i got to go kids and will try to get back here this afternoon!!!
i was trying to get into town to pick up my new motorcycle tires on the same trip but they were not ready! shit...
did anyone play an April fools joke on blogger beside Knudsen's lame attempt?
okay, while the Internet was down the tech here went around fucking with every ones computer. says to me...
"you need to get rid of all that porn on Marty's computer."
"what porn?"
"all the pictures of cocks and vaginas." he says it loud enough for everyone in the office to hear.
"i don't have any porn on this computer, i have it all on mine at home."
"yes you do." he is turning red and getting bent that he didn't embarrass me.
"show me then."
he fuddles around with a *.jpeg search and comes up with a number of lewd photographs, some with cock. some with vaginas and some with both. since i had never seen this kind of hard drive search before i sat down and looked at all the options. there was organize by date, size, last modified, users, type of file etc, etc...
so i clicked on the user feature and all was rearranged. looked for the techs name in the user lists and what did i find?!?! that in the years 2001 and 2002 in the administrator/Tim files was all the cock and balls photo links. saved in triplicate to each hard drive in this computer. hmmm...
"hey Tim! why does all the porn on this computer have your name on it!" i call out from the back office.
"what!?!" he comes running back. "NO IT DOES NOT!"
"well, i don't know what I'm doing but here it says a 8:15 a.m. on Feb 6th 2001 that the administrator/Tim saved this 238 MB file to the three hard drives. it says that name on all the fucking porn on this computer. look."
"well someone must have had my password and used it." he says in a huff.
"i don't think so, and everything I've ever saved here says guest/Zack. i never would have been allowed within spitting distance of this computer in those days. and all my porn on this computer is bad jokes at worst."
"you must have done this..." he storms out and goes to his truck and drives off.
so i spent most of yesterday teaching my self how to delete files and clean up this computer. see the owner is coming back from her three month trip to Tibet and china. she has spent the last several weeks in "his Holinesses" good company. (the Dali lama, perhaps you have seen him on the news.) and i need to make it look like i never even sat at her desk. it all looks like normal except for the large grease stain on the leather chair and the funny red stain on the desk that wont go away!!! i got to go kids and will try to get back here this afternoon!!!
8 comments:
i miss max. Such a good pup.
oakland! i know it... i still visit him every now and then. i remember what it felt like to bury him... leaving him in that box, buried in the ground, how lonley he would be and how i worried that his last thoughts would be about how he was being bad... i hate the fact that he is dead... i fucking hate it...
That internet porn story is one of my favorite stories yet, and you're a consummate storyteller, so they're all good stories around here.
And I loved seeing the pic of Max. I miss our old dog Dilly almost as much as I miss my dead dear human ones, and that is more than words...
leah, i wondered about you! hahaha just kidding... yeah me and max... that dog is the ONLY reason im alive today, he mae me the person i am today. i cant talk about the fulcking dog without welling up. that will never fade.... thank you for the comments!!
errrrrrr... "made me" not mae me....
by now you understand my speeling mistakes, no?
What a handsome guy! And you're not too bad either.
I'm late, I know. Please forgive me. I've been at the "Onion" so much I can't see through all my tears. Will someone please turn on a vent over there (I can't find the switch)?!
As they say on Monty Python, "And now for something completely different." Burying a beloved animals is heartbreaking. I know. I've had to do it, and after the last funeral I promised myself never to do it again. NEVER. Why? Because moving and leaving them behind is a sinking, horrible feeling, and putting soil over them feels even worse. I'm cremating everyone from now on, so that I can put them in a pretty vessel and hold them close when necessary. I've told Rob everyone goes with me when I die because I've come up with a unique plan: "No Child Left Behind." Perhaps I'll pitch it to the government.
You're actually a softie, so this might appeal to you. I light a candle every single morning for the animals and people I've loved and lost. I've never missed a day in years and years. Somehow just doing it helps with grief. It's a wonderful ritual and constant reminder. You might consider it.
Your post is so fun and I'd write more, but I've already written alot. Don't want to bore you. Why are people able to get their point across brilliantly in just a few words, and with me it takes paragraphs! I DON'T KNOW! Okay, I'm hearin' "Wrap it up lady." So I will.
Much love,
Suze
bbc! i have not done a heater core yet that hasnt been a challenge... and im a mechanic (the mechanic) for and engineering company. i fix everything, from chainsaws to dozers... there is barely nothing i cant do here...
suz, cool story and i can understand... there were times after max died that i had a lot of trouble going on... i still well up when i think about that dog...
You're a wonderful soul. Max was lucky to have you. And so are all of us.
Welling up is a good thing. It reminds you stuff matters.
Love you dear,
XO
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