WHAT A WEEKEND!

I DREAM OF THIS KIND OF HOME SECURITY!!

SUPER QUICK... came home early on Friday, only to find some animal had breached the security of the new turkey pen! both turkeys were not in the cage and feathers were everywhere. the damage done to both the turkey pen and the chicken pen were violent! it ripped 1/8 inch galvanized wire apart like nothing! shredded the aviary wire that was doubled up and hammer stapled into two by fours like plastic wrap on a DVD! it was amazing, it tore into a doubled layered tarp that i had put up as a wind break and roof and left what was left of it in tattered pieces....

my buddy and i started looking around for bodies and saw the bleeding tom (that's turkey for the male.) on my back deck. it saw us and took the fuck off up the hill to the neighbors house. by the time i got up there, their wolf/husky was taking its angst out on it and was in even worse shape. the neighbor quickly caught it and through it into the pen with her Bunny's and pig. feathers, blood and shit everywhere. two freaked out adults and a dog with that special look in its eyes.

back down at the shredded pens, we found white and grey hair, saliva still lingering on pinched portions of wire and tracks leading in every direction. loaded the shotgun and set out...

this is the portion of the story where you are hoping i found the culprit and splayed him open right?!?!?! i wish!

next day was our Christmas party for work. we attended and had some mediocre food and followed up by going to one of our privately sponsored community events. candle dipping, yes we all get together as a town and dip our wicks!!! bring food and drinks and walk in endless circles around boiling hot vats of wax. dip, drink, eat, drink some more, then dip again. kids like it alot its fun to poke fun of ex girlfriends and their new men of the year... one in particular got a little testy. fucking punks eh?

Sunday we got up and fixed the chicken pen back to bullet proof status and retrieved out beaten tom. looking like shit and scared to death. we put him in with the chickens. then the chickens started beating the shit out of him, fucking guy cant get a break right?

buddy came up and we fixed the turkey pen, rigged up a spring loaded door and booby trapped the pen. what was now meant to keep him out will be used to hopefully keep him in. its been reinforced and baited. he seems to come when we are not at home. hoping to catch that fucker when i get home.

I'm a nice guy, if this animal has a collar, I'm going to take his picture of him in the pen. unload 1000 rounds out of my paintball gun on it. (that's 325 feet per second, at five feet! five rounds a second! yeah fuck with me! )i hope this fucking thing gets the picture. then ill let it go, follow him home and politely ask for some restitution and let them know if i catch it back in my pen I'll be wearing it as a hat and enjoying some doggy stew.
if i catch this fucking thing in my pen again i will kill it, slowly.... its got a taste for chicken/turkey and its been back three days in a row. if hes a digger and not in the pen, I'll get him next time.

part of my problem is that cheeses girls enjoy going up to the coops, we don't let them take our dogs for obvious reasons and don't want them being scared to go out into our yard alone... so, wanna get in my pens do yeah, click, click, boom!!!!