what the fuck is wrong with Californians? its rain people... coupled with some wind. its not a natural disaster. wow some rocks on the road, why did you see fit to ram your fucking car into them? some mud across the highway, why is it that you decided to see if your one wheel drive altima could traverse a four foot deep slurry? its weather, not Armageddon. hey fuckers, you knew it was coming... its called winter!!!! yah know, rain, snow, wind, freezing temperatures?!?! why are you all so stunned when your power goes out and PG@E doesn't come down your fucking chimney and blow magic dust up your ass and make your power come back on. why are you so surprised when you live four miles up a dirt road and your Lexus gets stuck in the mud and the tow truck guys laugh at you when you call them.
hey people of California!!! get your fucking heads out of your neighbors wives laps and pay attention! the earth moves here, the rain falls from the sky and rivers flood! i shit you not! you might want to think about putting more than a case of bottled Evian in the back of your s.u.v. when traveling during "the worst storms since El nino". get your self some batteries for something other than your girlfriends "little white rabbit" and some flashlights. woah, or even go archaic and try to have a hurricane lamp or two handy....
here is a novel idea, buy a fucking generator if you cant live with out your god damned television for an evening. holy shit you might actually have to interact with the people who you live with.
if you cant drive in the rain, stay off the road.
if you don't have power, deal with it.
if your road slides, call someone and wait. don't call every ten minutes saying its getting worse, guess what fuck-tard?!?! its still raining and its not gonna fix its self. grab a shovel and a rain suit, (if you thought that far ahead) and get to work!!!
hey your phone line went dead and you cant call anyone, try looking around for a tree branch on your own line before you call the president and claim some sort of terrorist has landed...
its simple, its weather, it happens every year. why cant you be a little less surprised and a tiny bit more prepared....
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wait - don't you live in the same state where people build their impossibly stupidly expensive houses on the edge of really high hills? now that's what i call stupid.
now, as far as people driving stupid? let an ice storm hit mississippi. let ice cover the roads and trees, and light lines, and slow moving animals (you just hope i'm joking about the animals). then, watch in utter horror and amusement as the dumb fuckers try and DRIVE DOWN A HILL THAT IS COVERED IN SNOW AND ICE...faster, of course, than anyone should even in normal circumstances. wait - i forgot to mention that this hill curves sharply to the right. if you ain't going slow, you'll end up with a face full of pine needles. yup, the neighbors had to plant pine trees just to keep morons from really injuring themselves.
winter is in full effect. 18 feet of snow and counting, of course the idiots are always out so every body should drive slow and you'll be good.
but thats just my canadian advice.
Kinda like in Edmonton here when it snows like it has for all time, people forget how to control their vehicle, just wanna slap them all
SO HUNG-OVER TODAY KIDS.... I'LL BE BACK
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