Friday, January 18, 2008

WELL, WELL, WELL....

i dont know where i got this, but it wasnt from the artists site. so i cant give proper credit, so its not mine. hows that?

yeah, still don't feel like working today! imagine that! deal with it punk.


got forwarded this link today. pretty funny. its about this guy in d.c. who spots some crack addicts having sex for drugs in front of his house. with pictures! so if you like stories about crack, crack addicts or public sex then check it out. i'm going to add him to my blogroll if he keeps it up.


all right, the baby in my office just ripped the wettest fart. this is my fodder for you today. WTF? this is an office people! not a baby factory. i guess if i was out in the yard "working" i wouldn't have been here for that one...


weekend is coming up! anybody else excited?!?! well I'm looking forward to getting up and not going to work hung over.... just getting up.




i tell you what, I'll take some suggestions from all of you good people.... since some of you have expressed some concerns about the activities i engage in while consuming massive quantities of beer, (exp: driving, shooting guns, using power tools and chainsaws, driving dirt bikes, etc...) id like to give you the opportunity to give me some other ideas of things i could do. perhaps this Sunday even. cheese has to work and i think I'll be home alone, so anything goes, (i guess.) but it has to do with drinking alot and doing something i normally don't do. now freaks need not suggest, err, well, okay but nothing to do with ponies and goats... sheep yes! ponies no.. got it!?!?! if i end up doing one of your suggestions I'll photo my self doing it and post it here...


you don't have any suggestions??? how bout some examples you say? sure!!!


"hey Zack, why don't you get drunk and get your burn pile going? drinking and large fires always sounds like fun!!"


wow that is a great idea!!! perhaps i might do that this weekend!


"duder, why not try some rock climbing in the canyon! hike down while taking shots and do some repelling!"


wow, another excellent idea. i was planning on going for a hike on Saturday anyway. I'll bring some truck rope and duct tape with me and jump off a hundred foot cliff or two!


"you should door bell ding and ditch man, i hear mountain people love to step on flaming bags of dog shit! your neighbors will never be able to follow the Coors lite cans all the way back to your house..."


that's the best idea yet! I'm such a fast runner when I'm wasted!! and gun fire never scares me...


so i suppose i could have come up with the idea earlier in the week, and if none of you come up with anything good by Sunday, I'll extend it into next week for the following weekend... but i'm still going to some drinking and whatever this weekend. so get posting!


so good luck to me, if anybody comes up with something fun!!! have a great weekend all! I'll be checking back in later...

23 comments:

cher said...

play chicken with a real chicken

definately drunk dial a farmer and moo obscenely (record the convo and post it)

draw me a picture using nothing but wet farts

go online and load my starbucks card to the tits

carve something out of a giant zuccini

well, just carve something in general

INNER VOICES said...

i have chickens, so possible.
i do know some farmers, also possible.
can i use the baby for the fart pictures? or can i use a chicken?
load tits onto your starbucks card? unload bucks onto yer what?
we ate the giant zuccini. carved about six breads and cakes out of it!
i like the last one the best! and i cant use the chain saw or can i? carve something.... hmm... i was a boyscout! its also possible.

cher said...

dude, if you can get a chicken to wet fart on demand, i'd be happy to die right then because i would have officailly seen everything. although, i'd love to see some footage of you trying.

you can use whatever you'd like to carve anything. just make sure there is a first aid kit near by. i love carving shit. a couple years ago i took back some christmas presents my mom bought me and bought myself a dremmel.

cher said...

do you own a potato gun? they're fun.

INNER VOICES said...

now if i could carve: me squeezing a wet fart out of a chicken with a chainsaw drunk i would be the fucking man!!! now we are talking.
or i could carve the chicken...

INNER VOICES said...

potatoe gun, no. potatoe cannon yes! air powered, not one of those pussy butane ones. we can launch a potatoe several hundred feet in the air...
once (you all might not enjoy this story...) but we were drinking in the shop late and caught the rat that was leaving his evidence in my tool box, anyway we wrapped his squealing ass up in a shop rag like a tootsie roll and stuffed him down into the barrel, then fired him into the sky!!! his tail was flying around like a little propeller... too much fun.
pretty fucking white trash, eh? my bad.

cher said...

you should have made him eat his rat shit first. stupid rat didn't know who he was messing with did he?

carve a chicken with a chainsaw! lmao! you better make sure he's dead first or someone might report you to PETA.

cher said...

potatoe cannon. that fucking rocks. i'm jealous.

INNER VOICES said...

i'm ready for a beer. think i'll quit early! enjoy the weekend! thanks again for the great ideas. i wonder what the other good folk will come up with! hard to beat carving a chicken with a chainsaw drunk. cheeses daughters might kill me if there are any more missing chickens.

cher said...

lol...you have a great weekend too. i will keep the suggestions coming.
you know, i bet a neighbour or two has a chicken they wouldn't notice missing right away.

denim said...

i think you should try crack in an alleyway!

cher said...

you should DEFINATELY cut your own hair.

cher said...

you should drunk post professing your love for Ike Turner and how the loss is hitting you way harder than you would have thought. Actually, that one should totally be a video post.

cher said...

learn to read braile

kiltedtramp said...

hey zack
its everett trying to get in touch
with you-etbrooks@rockisland.com

INNER VOICES said...

yo everett! damn all the massaholians are finding me! whats up! as soon as we had gotten off the phon last time we talked i cleaned the kitchen an lost all yer info! howve you been!?!? hows the kids and the snow, i think i heard you got womped on up there!! whats news, i'll try to email you here in a min....

now on with the show!!!!

denim... you know i have enough crack for all, so woo hoo wee wee pee pee poo poo. mmmmmaaagghh...

cher, yer killin me! one moment yer off the grid and the next youre all over me like stink on sh-
lovin all the cool sugestions.. (sp?) ideas, whatever.
umm... braile? hopefully not for a while, ike turner? didnt you check out the crack head link i just posted? and alas cutting my own hair, cheese and i drink tequilla everytime its needed for me to get a hair-cut. and then we go for it! we have acually gotten anotherone of our friends in on this one... she called the next day to exclaim how fuckin short her hair was!!! and wow, was there some drunkin hair butchering that night. so glaed we are on the same wave length... keep em coming. what will the neighbors think!

what about evryone else!?!?

Kay said...

Wow. Are you and Cher having an affair without me? So not cool.

I'm thinking you should drunk dial me. Or, just call me in general.

Or, you could make a mountain out of play dough.

Drunken Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Karakoe is always the fucking bomb!

You could construct a tower out of all your empty bottles... And it's a fun way to tidy up. Then you can do some human bowling into them with a rolling chair.

So much for the cleaning up eh?

That's kind of it for now... Have fun.

INNER VOICES said...

kay. when i'm with cher its you im thinkin bout....

she was probably sussing me out for the next part of her human suit she was sewing up. she had you in the well, in her basement, putting the lotion on. and was trying to lure me into the same fate. now i know what i'm dealing with! i'd keep an eye out for that one.... i wonder what part she was planning on useing?!?!!?

INNER VOICES said...

shit. i forgot to address the calling you portion of your comment! i'm in, cheese and i are in i should say. we want to meet up. like ive been sayin, we have a buddy with a house and property in yer parts... can we stick some beer in that i.v. yet or do you just have you watch us have all the fun still!
how troubling would that be?!?! me rubbing in that fact that ive found your secrete kokanee suply store.... oooooouuuh.

Kay said...

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to get my alcafasheezie on, but you know I am anyway. Liver transplants build character...

INNER VOICES said...

you can have one of mine! it'll build your tolerance to rock star level instantly! i do have two right?

Kay said...

You've only got the one, sunshine. And I'm thinking just transplanting a piece of it would get me hella drunk...

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