sorry if i couldnt squeeze yer names in somewhere... i'll try to amend it later!!

i woke up Saturday morning and what did i see?!?! some ugly mother fucker looking back at me..."

it was bollix!!!

...."he said to me, Hey you, you big tall cunt!" I said to him, " Are you'se talking to me, little runt?"

then random walked in...

...and said, "Hey Mother Fucker, I'm one too! Would you like to go to the zoo? Let's go jam with the monkeys and throw some poo!"

all of a sudden hunter was there wearing nothing but a leather mask...

with morning breath and his face in a snear he leans in close to whisper in my ear" HEy liitle buddy last night you were all class, but now get ready 'cause I get to fuck you in the ass.

So put your face in the your pillow and get up on your knees cause if this is your first time it's going to be a tight squeeze.

So I lubed up the torque wrench real good.

But it was the cheap kind from Sears.

(a wrench set from mj for my birthday)

"The cheap ones from Sears tend to rust real bad" (there was a voice in my head, the voice of queen goob) so I hiked it to the shed to borrow from dad.

When I opened up the toolbox what did my wondering eyes see? Handcuffs and whips looking back at me!

and suz standing there in a pink trench coat and whip screaming...

I'm still fixed on Hunter. Jeasus Christ, I had no idea. And to think, I call him "friend." "Hunter, don't come near me! No seriously, don't come near me!!!" Don't make me call 911.

hunter steps out from behind the tool box wearing a leather mask and says...

Suzanne! I was only following directions. HE said to be as disgusting and crass as can be!!!

he drops to his knees and begins begging her please... she replies...

The past few months have been stressful, so this is easy. "Get the fuck away from me."

and locks hunter back in the tool box...

And then I woke up.

What I saw was the stuff of nightmare so exponentially worse, it almost defies description.

there was now another voice, it was the voice of leah, in a new england accent....

The voice in your ear was in fact no dream, and it's there again, this time for real, growling at you and with each growl a gusty breath of decay, intoning in hideous cadence: "Zack, it may be Saturday but you work on Saturdays now and everyone else has been fired, so you must march yourself to your job and do all the repairs and the paperwork, back-ordered and pending, all by yourself in handcuffs while I keep an eye on you with this whip; I'll let you free for five minutes at noon so that you can eat your sandwich and drink your Red Bull."

i look back into the shop and its no longer suz standing there but cecile in leather chaps and bra holding a whip!

A misty haze fell all around, I stumbled from the shed and fell on the ground. My head was a spinning, the air grew stale. I hollered, "Could someone please fetch me an ale." "An ale gosh dern it, any kind will do. No don't bring just one and bring more than two."