weekend at a glance

this was how we felt on sunday morning

Friday afternoon i spent fucking around on the free dirt bike i got, brought it over to a buddy's and we built a gasket and installed the dual carburetors, it fired on the third kick! the bike hasn't run since 1997 and i get this fucker coughing on the third kick. it wont idle and it runs like crap until you bring it up to to about seven grand, so i took it home and jumped on it, like a wild bucking bronco this thing lurches to life! i hammer up the hill and the front tire doesn't come within a foot of touching the ground... woah Nelly... i reign it in and park the s.o.b. and wait until i break it in a little longer. of course i didn't do anything like check the breaks, chain, oil level, none of the "pre-trip inspection" shit I'm always harping on everyone else around me to do...

anyway, Saturday was foggy and drizzly and raining off and on. so what better to do than call up some friends and work around the yard! couple of buddies rolled up and we all milled around looking at these trees i wanted to cut down. tied some rope off and drank some morning beers. walked all around the tree. than drank some more morning beers. then cut a notch out of the tree. then drank some more morning beers. (the concern was that the tree we were planning on cutting was large and leaning over our garden beds and could come close to mashing our generator and/or solar panels.)after a couple more minutes/beers we went for it, two of us pulling on the rope and buddy with the saw. it fell EXACTLY where we wanted it to go! it bent one corner of the mini fence like six inches... no damage to anything. we cut a few more trees down and finished a couple of more beers.

at some point cheese reminded me that our friend in the city called earlier in the morning, then she suggested we go to the city. made a few phone calls and within forty minutes we were packed into the truck hammering our way into the city... we were doing the "driving and dancing" thing, it must have looked hilarious as we blew by traffic at 90 to a hundred miles per hour with our arms in the air singing and bouncing along. stopped to pee and get rid of some empties along the way and made to her house in under two hours!!! (it took us two and a half hours to get back... hmmm...)

we went to their local bar, drank a whole lot more and passed the fuck out when we returned their house. went out to breakfast at a great place that we had been to before! so hung over... i had a three egg omelet, with spinach, mushrooms, scallions, apple roasted chicken sausage and provolone cheese, country roasted potatoes and a bagel with cream cheese as well as some of cheeses fresh squeezed o.j. so good.

my stomach was hurting after the nights drinking so we opted not to go to a couple of museums that after noon. we had tentatively planned on seeing a few exhibits. i hate that shit. it seems one day a week is wasted due the fact that recovery is necessary... but that's what we get when we party like teenagers.

the ride home took forever!!!

got home, cleaned up dog shit, made a fire and pretty much didn't move from the couch until bed time... yeah, that's it folks, not too much interesting to read for this mornings post, but that's what you get!!!

THE LIFE!

WATCH OUT! I'm walking here...

so, the day is winding down and we got the bosses truck almost finished, new brakes, rotors, drums, front calipers and a ball joint. serviced it and found a broken lift kit bolt, (my guy is working on that as we speak) I've got a cold beer sitting in front of me on my desk and that screaming fucking kid is having one of his calm moments while his mom sets up a birthday party for a friends infant.

do infants need birthday parties? or do we all just get together and drink because of it?

ahhhh, ice cold beer... sorry,what was i talking about again. i was just reading this and was wondering what is wrong with that sort of justice. they described the woman as being beaten, but when i followed a link to a video, she was just being slapped around alot... whose fault is it? the woman who took money to perform rituals to help someone with magic or the man who paid for it? further down in the small article they cite two other cases of mob justice.... as much as i don't agree with what happened to the women they started talking about i full on agree with what happened to the other two listed in the article... i dunno, i was born a couple hundred years too late...

back in the day, people didn't do alot of the crimes that are committed now and the ones that did were dealt with swiftly and "justly". hmmm... lets see, you murdered this whole family for fifty dollars in gold.... lets throw you in a pit and throw rocks at you... or drag you around with a horse or pull your guts out while you watch... i mean there were lots of terrible ways to die back then... and yeah, not everyone was guilty, but it sure makes you want to be good when you are facing those kinds of reprimands doesn't it? better population control...

i cant wait for Armageddon! bring it on. i think we need to clean the world of all its stupid people, perhaps lower the world population down to about a 100th of what it is now... then i bet we could have a world economy... let the world freeze over and kill off all the people who depend on someone else for their lively hood. let it burn and sweep the nations of the folks who don't know how to live off the land...

yeah I'm weird, but it makes so much more sense to me. we are over populating this planet with no intent on stopping and with every new generation we breed more and more stupid people. when is the last time anybody actually survived out on their own? where am i going with this tangent? i dunno. with all these fucking wars and politics and recycle programs and "green" speak, we have forgotten the basics of life...

my science teacher as a kid said something I'll never forget. "i don't give a shit about pollution, waste, overpopulation, etc... my children kids will be long dead before we see the end of this planet and its resources, who gives a shit?!" that's not verbatim, but that's what i took from it. and he is right, sort of, why should we care? we wont be around long enough to be affected by it. yeah yeah, gas prices and shit but really, that's not that big a deal. hmmm... to me movies like mad max and i am legend, along with all the other end of the world movies are inspiring.. bring it on.. world war four lets do it! we are already well on our way!!!

yeah bitches!!!!

i stole this pic off her site, it was a best caption contest!!!

i won, i won, i won!!!! i entered a contest that one of the blogs i read was hosting and i won!!! yeah bitches!!! sucks to be you!! awesome to be me!!! hahahaaaaa....

so yeah....

SCREAMING BABY IS BACK

POSTING WILL RESUME LATER IN THE AFTERNOON. BABY IS BACK AND IM BUSY.... i just took a co-worker to breakfast here. wasnt too bad, the new owners took it over from some friends that owned it before... same staff, different menu, more expensive...

IM FUCKING OVER IT WITH THIS SCREAMING FUCKING BABY IN MY OFFICE

I'm fucking over it. I'm leaving here in about ten fucking minutes. I'm waiting for a phone call. as you all know we have a lady here who brings her baby to work. amongst all the other shit i have to deal with in the office now we have a level nine wailer going shit house ballistic five times a day three times a week. this week that fucking kid has been in my office every day. i have tolerance, patience even, but this is pushing my fucking buttons today.

if i could record it for you i would. when this kid takes a nap, I'm not allowed in my office. when its time to put it down for a nap I'm not allowed in my office, when its time to fucking eat/change diaper/burp I'm not allowed in my office. if I'm in my office and any of this shit comes up I'm asked to leave. this is the most expensive babysitting place in the world!! three office ladies hem and haw over this fucking tyrant...

meanwhile, I'm on the phone(when they haven't been moved out of my office, because they ring too loud) and have to explain that no, we are not torturing children here, we just have one that's likes to go nuts all the time while I'm ordering parts...

i wish i could record it for you... they make duct tape just for this...

i suppose i should show some appreciation

some of you are in dire need of a seal of approval. i stole the idea off of random chick.

I JUST FELT LIKE THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU WERE DESERVING OF SOMETHING SPECIAL.

the die hard fans of inner voices needed something to call their own. a little something to take back home with them when they leave here. its not for everyone, hell it might not even be for the people I've given it to but, i tried to do something nice.

i nominate these five people for the inner voices seal of approval. in no particular order. and if some one feels like they should have gotten one and didn't, please form the line to the left, pull the pin, take your number and I'll be right with you...

okay gets one for sure. even though she stopped fucking blogging. i might take it back if she doesn't get off her ass!

Cher gets one, cause every cougar needs some approval.

first nations has to have one. she is like the mom i never knew i had!

mj gets one. we know she likes porn, so that's cool with me!

and i suppose I'll give the last one to the highest bidder! or the one who really wants it the most... good day all.

oh and if you want the address of the seal generator, cruise over to randoms or if yer lazy, ask me and I'll dig it back up for you!!

wicked busy

yeah, I've used this pic before, but i love it.

so, its been a crazy morning. got to work and got sent to south forty to bring the boys some forgotten parts they need for a concrete pour. south forty is a place i used to live. awesome parties and lifestyle, blah blah blah. anyways, the first house i lived in is being torn down. it just went through a several hundred thousand dollar remodels and the new owners don't like it, so they are tearing it down to build their own cliff side abomination.. all the mammories that happened there....

*eyes glaze over*

well after delivering the tools and tweaking the idle on the batch plant i head back to the shop and bust down on some brake jobs. (exciting stuff isn't it!?!) hit up my lunch spot for some seared ahi tuna salad. fucking love wasabi! not the best thing for me, but i love it!

head back up to the yard here and its mayhem, dudes everywhere, in my way, welding shit, cutting shit with the table saw and all kinds of stuff going on in my workspace... fuck. so i came in here to post this little bit of crap for all of you. yeah, I'll try again later.

tagged?!? eehhgghgh.

so i was tagged by random chick to repost this picture with a wish on it. and i thought about it for a while this weekend and remembered it last night. cheese and i hung out in the yard late last night and finished up the work we were doing... we burned a huge pile of madrone branches and leaves that i had cut down to make room for our upper garden area.

while we were out there i noticed the first star in the sky. and started in with the whole star bright, star light routine...

then this thought popped into my head about most of the wishes that i have used on stars.

i wish me and *insert name here* are happy forever.

i wish my mother would get better.

i wish *insert another name here* and i would be together forever.

blah, blah, blah...

so many wishes from when i was a kid and many more that have never come true. i don't wish any more, i don't hope that things will work out with whoever, whatever, whenever...

i make an effort to make those things happen. I've spoiled the whole ideology of wishing for myself... boo hoo me right?

so random chick i think its this.... hey may be some one else will get lucky....

I'M BACK, WELL SORT OF

"i know this must make you a little uncomfortable"

so I've been poked, prodded, yanked, scanned, x-rayed, groped, charged, squished, pinched, checked, re-checked, measured, weighed, scoped, tested, talked to, talked at, counseled, censored, questioned, etc... the only thing i haven't had done to me is billed...

as i have said, doctors have no clue what they are doing sometimes. they don't know whats wrong with me and wanted me to do all kinds of shit. nope i said and that was that. so now I'm back at work and everything is back to normal. except I'm not on my vacation and i will probably owe several thousand dollars to the "doctors".

but other than that... yeah, I'm back to fucking normal.

i spent all my time at home "resting" for the last five days. i hauled sixty pound bags of dirt up the hillside to one of our new raised planting areas. twenty of em. (the whole time I've got the doctors voices in my head... "i think you have a severe hernia.") i dug out trails and moved boulders to make a natural stair case up in to the new garden area. boulders that weighed well over a hundred pounds. then brought large rocks down out of the hillside side into the yard for cheese. she had made a pumpkin patch zone and we are trying to keep the fucking dogs out of it by lining the edges with large rocks. doesn't seem to deter the dogs..

Easter for us was on Saturday, the neighbor had an all day party. thirty little kids running around jacked up on sugar and bubbles. we partied all day an well into the night. had some friends of ours show up and got them all fed and full.(i love partying at other peoples houses. no morning mess to clean up!)

Sunday we just farted around in the garden, cheese felt a little melancholy after dropping the girls off with their dad. that part of it all sucks. the sharing of the kids/holidays/time.... and not really sharing of the responsibility. you know what I'm talking about. most of us are from divorced families.... go to one parents house and its sodas and friends and no bed time, "whats brushing my teeth?", "you don't have to go to school today...". all that kind of shit and then you go to the other parents house... no t.v., do your home work, take a shower, brush your teeth!, "yes, you have to go to school today!", did you do all your chores?....

its a fucking bitch sometimes, when cheese has to reprogram the girls to get them back into the life style... anyways...

cheese has the week off and hope she enjoys it!

people are breaking shit out there and i need to get some work done this morning... I'll be back to commentsie backsies later today! thank you all for checking back in again and again this last week!!! you guys all fucking "rock the cazba!"

yeah, this is all you get.

my bad on the no commentsie-backsies all. I'm just not feeling it! after yesterdays angst and this morning dullness, I'm simply not feeling it today. you all leave the best fucking comments!! and i will get to them tomorrow... some of you ladies enjoyed the women in bed photos so much that you thought up something nice for me at the beach, since i wasnt feeling well! thanks readers, i needed that!!! until tomorrow then!

LIKE YOU WANTED TO HEAR THIS SHIT

the sterility of our local clinic

fuck... doctors have no idea what they are doing. local hometown family doctors are not doctors at all. they are health care professionals. if i need my bloody nose wiped or my tummy rubbed i will go to my local family doctor.
the first one of our local physicians stated to me that she thinks i might have kidney stones, sounds good, explains a lot of things and sounds like its gonna hurt but i can deal with that... you might say its the male form of giving birth pain... bring it on right. cheese and i discussed last night and that i would do it with out pain meds...
i go to the ct scan place this morning, (today's pain has increased) and everyone there is nice and "empty yer pockets here" and "lay down here" and "hold yer breath when the machine instructs you to do so", "please wait here" and "the radiologist with be right with you." and so on...
I'm sitting there waiting to talk with the radiologist and this women comes over and says i have a phone call?

its some doctor lady that works in the sur.

"well, i don't think you have kidney problems."
"no? whys that"
"well your ct scan show that you have a large amount of stool in your large intestine, i think you have diverticulitis."
"then why does my testicle hurt?"
"i don't know, i don't think its related."
"what? why is there blood in my urine."
"i don't know, that's not conducive with diverticulitis. besides there wasn't enough in your sample to worry about."
"um, there was blood in my urine, my kidney hurts and I'm supposed to be worried about having a bowel movement?"
"yes, there seems to be a large amount of stool present."
"yeah, i haven't gone yet today and no one told me i was supposed to go before i got the scan. i don't have any problems with that either, its like clock work, happens right after my first cup of coffee."
"well of course you were supposed to. I'm prescribing you some anti-biotics and some codeine."
"don't those give me constipation? why would you prescribe me something that does that when i supposedly have a problem with backed up stool."
"well you should also take a laxative, and ground up flax seeds and cilium husks or something."
"uhhh, correct me if I'm wrong but if i were to have diverticulitis wouldn't i want to give my colon a break and not have a lot of fiber and laxatives so that the antibiotics can stop the infection? and let my body heal instead of flushing out all the things that my body produces naturally to fight of these things. wouldn't i also want to give it a break instead of making it overwork?!?! what kind of antibiotics are you wanting to put me on?"
"amoxicillan and a pain killer codeine. you said you don't like vicoden."
"yeah i have some t3's left at home, i don't like taking pain medications. i still don't understand why my testicle hurts and my my lower back aches and my lower abdomen has sharp spikes of blunt pain. when i do anything other that sit."
"so shall we make an appointment for tomorrow afternoon then? say around four?"
"why, where is the other doctor and why not today or first thing in the morning. and do you think it could be a virus or bacteria, i drank some contaminated water recently. we had some rats floating in our water tank a few weeks ago. i also heavily over medicated my self last week with some over the counter drugs to fight off the flu and so i could go to work."
"so see you tomorrow at four then, thank you...."

click.

WTF is that! i could give her fifty other possible things it might be and i feel like i might be in a better position to diagnose wtf is wrong with me than this women, who has never seen me, touched me or looked at my chart before today!!! guess what folks, not every doctors got every answer right on their exams... and not every doctor know what the fuck they are talking about either.

so according to this lady I'm supposed to jack my ass up with chemicals to plug it solid and then nuke my system with different chemicals to loosen it up and take some pain meds so i can lay down and not mind all the other problems I'm suffering through?

and this is modern medicine?

I'll pass.. i opted not to buy the over-priced broad spectrum antibiotic and the mega overpriced super-Tylenol and bought a bottle of wild turkey instead... (i did buy a bottle of wild turkey, but not to drink tonight... its for cheese... she loves the stuff!) hahahahaaaa...

i tried going into my family doctor's office today when i got into big sur, but they closed for early lunch and the doctor i spoke with was unavailable after lunch due to the fact that "she left after eating." she wont be available until tomorrow at our appointment. the only person there to help was the nurse practitioner. who knows even less about the situation than anyone else.

i fucking hate doctors. i need to see someone who will listen, grope me a bit and tell me what the fuck all this goddamn pain is about!! if it gets any worse I'm going to go mental.... anybody wanna feel me up and perhaps shove a camera somewhere into me and maybe tell me I'm not having any of those pains at all! that my real problems are that the paint is chipped on my truck and i have a tail light out, or that my long lost twin brother has been stabbed in the side and is bleeding to death in a Taiwanese whore house. perhaps its god making me pay for all my bad deeds with his evil voo doo doll of torture!!! may be i should go home and drink some chicken blood and sacrifice a virgin or two and pray to allah!!! i do feel like strapping a bo---

I'll stop, I'm getting even more pissed off right now...

THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN!!!

UM.... CHEESE AND I ARE SITTING HERE AND SHES ASKING ME WHAT IM DOING..... im fine, i have another doctors appointment tomorrow... wewillseewhatwewillseewhenipeeandithurtsmeiswhenwewillseewhatipee...this is gonna hurt...

wasting time

sitting here at work, just fucking off, on the clock. they wont let me do anything and they don't want me to leave either. they have had all kinds of excuses for me.

"you wont go to your appointment if you leave."

"if you go all the way home, you wont come back to the sur."

"you look like shit. you shouldn't be driving."

"if you leave here your just going to go have a beer. you shouldn't go to the doctor smelling like alcohol."

"we don't want you working on anything, you might hurt yourself and then we will have to pay for it."

"just do what your told and sit the fuck down and relax."

its already starting. the breaking of my iron will. they are chinking away at my stubborn armour and holding me hostage. i just wish this appointment would come and go so i can get some work done. and go to the bar, errr... home to work in the garden some more. i mean lay on my ass and do nothing...rest.

how many posts about this lame shit will you readers endure? not many more I'm sure! see, i swore not to complain about being sick with the flu or virus or whatever it was i was suffering from last week and here i am bitching about the pain i am in this week. fuck.

so yeah, i got a tax refund this week. hopefully I'll get my state tax one soon and the stupid bush stimulus incentive check soon there after, with all that i could do something really cool! it would be more than three grand... nice down payment on a "brand new" dirt bike. one that i wont have to work on and fix all the time. or some spelling classes. or a nice trip somewhere. some jewelry for cheese, hahahaaa...

fucking over it. I'm going outside to smoke.

4:15

4:15 IS MY FUCKING APPOINTMENT.... this sucks major fucking ass... fuck you pain in my side that brings me to my knees when i move, walk, sit, stand... its my Jesus pain. every time it hurts it sends me down to my knees. fuck you Jesus pain... better shower if I'm gonna have something stuck in my ass. nah, everyone should get as much enjoyment out of this as me... ehhh, don't feel like posting.

HERE IS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...

I BET I DON'T HAVE A READER THAT CAN DO IT... I'm not putting anybody down, I'm not saying anything bad about any of my awesome fucking readers... but i dare you. i mean it. I'll have to come up with some kind of prize and I'd have no way in knowing if your telling the truth or not other than i would expect to see some kind of change in your posts and comments but if someone were to want to give it a shot, id make it worth your while... tell me what you want, how you might go about it and lets see if we can make a deal!!! its worth it! i haven't had t.v. in years, YEARS!!! i love t.v. when i go to a buddies or the bar, but try not to watch the stuff ever... i like movies, not t.v. reruns on disc but movies... thats all we do when its t.v. time... but i dare you to go three weeks with out television. no lame ass news from fox, no sports, (try to learn how to use your radio again for that can't miss game!!) no shitcoms, no weather, nothing... fuck your reality television programs! whose reality is it anyway?!?! i bet you will come out on the other side of things a better person.(at least for those three weeks!!) anyway this is a lame post... yeah i suck.

THIS STRUCK ME

WHATS IT SAY TO YOU?

pain... and the weekend.

scene outside brians cafe/pub

this weekend was mostly fucked. Friday was one of uber-mini-cheeses first sleep overs. and we were SURE this one wasn't sick. on the way home Friday night with the girls the sleepover girl vomited all over cheeses Subaru. not just in one place but on the seat, herself, the door, the floor, etc. so when i called to see how things were going after work, cheese was not impressed with having to clean up her car. chalked it up to car sickeness, we do live up "one of the scariest roads in the Sur".

needless to say i lingered an extra hour at a buddies house. when i got home things seemed normal and dinner went down no problem.

the sleepover girl seemed shy and quiet. i guess that's part of her M.O. well as i wake up at the ass crack of god know when, cheese is running around with the lights on and washing machine going and shes is not in a good mood.

"hey, whats with the fucking lights?"

her response was not something i wanted to hear. first i thought maybe i pissed her off somehow, soon to find out that sleepover girl had vomited all over the bed, herself, the pillows, comforter, etc...

i got out of bed and did what i could do to help out. stoked the fire and turned on a movie to stay up with cheese as she prepped the child for the drive down the mountain to meet the parents.

WTF? this kid was SICK. not anxious or nervous, but fucking sick. ahem, why do you give us your sick children?!?!

woke up late in the morning to discover that it was snowing outside?!?! not just snowing but snow globe snowing! thick blankets of snow on the ground and in the air?!?! we had snowball fights and built mini snow men and stood around in complete guffaw. had some friends show up and spent the day playing board games and drinking beer.

i made some killer chicken schnitzel and cheese busted some killer veggies and a spinich salad. we all chowed down. friends left and we passed the fuck out. i guess i was snoring REALLY loud that night and apparently i was moody about being whacked in the face several times, because i woke up late and alone with a sore nose.

Sunday was mellow and spent the morning in the sun with some friends, laying around on the gravel in front of my house! not twenty four hours before we had a snow ball fight in the same exact spot! built cheese another raised garden bed up on the hill next to the house. with room for another one. these are sixteen feet long and twenty inches wide, just over a foot deep. we are going to put our tomatoes and possibly some corn those boxes... our neighbor came down with her kids and a small amount of mayhem ensued.

once we got everyone to bed and into it ourselves we were fucking spent. super-spent. 0 tolerance, spent.

somewhere this weekend i managed to pick up this everlasting lower abdominal pain. goes right down into my left testicle, no its not a hernia. cheese looked it up and came up with diverticulitis. sounds right, but I'm not over sixty and i shit just fine. i dunno. everyone here at work sees me walking around like an old man and is trying to get me to go to the doctor. this morning the pain level has increased to a steady four or five with the shooting pains into the sixes...

if it continues to get worse today i might go in later. but what are they gonna do. that's the shit i hate about doctors. its all best guess. and with abdominal pains, its real fucking hard to diagnose. what are you gonna do huh? stick your finger in my but for a digital rectum exam only to find out that it hurts even worse? prescribe some pain pills and send me home for rest? i could do that with out taxing my insurance or having fingers in my but. yeah its been getting worse all weekend. if the pain gets into the sevens I'll go. but I've only ever been in that level of pain a few times in my life. and higher levels even fewer times. (breaking bones, concussions, car accidents, etc...)

so we will see. i wouldn't normally bitch about that here except its about the only thing i can think about right now... so happy rookie drinking and driving day everyone and i hope you can use public transportation as much as possible. those pesky officers will be out in force this evening and nothing short of sobriety will be excused. its a money making holiday for law enforcement!!!

must have been up later then i thought!!!

i just found this little gem in my edit box. i guess at some point late Saturday night i tried to do a bit of drunken blogging... wow this reads more like my posts in the beginning of the voices... i wonder which voice i was channeling here?

i have not spell checked it, i left it as it was for sake of its originality... please enjoy with its original title..



title:yeah, you dont know me

the first thing i did when i felt better was to get drunk, to trade the comatoast feeling of overmedication in for another version of... and you thinkeverything i do, i do because i do it to me? somtimes im not in charge and the parts in me just do it because im dong it to save me.... do it to make sure i can do it an i'll be able to continue to be able to do it... what? you dont know me, you dont want to know me... there is parts of me that dont care about you or me or anything... ooohhh yer fucking scaring me... imagine how i feel??? mmmeeeeehhhhh...

so hmmm...

for those of you enjoyed last weeks pic, here is one of my faves, I've posted it before. i was told that some of you imagined what it would be like to be in the middle of those two women... here is what it might look like?!?! have a great weekend all!!

FRIDAYISZOOMINGBY...

today is crazy busy... no time for posting much... but I'll see if i cant whip something out for you(heh heh)... we had a guy come in here today with a truck load of merchandise... he says he is from here. hes got five pieces of equipment shrink wrapped in the back of his truck. he offered for us to buy the whole truck load for $4,800. gave me his card and said he would be back but that he needed to unload it today... it was valued at over $14,000.

we were thinking it was stolen. after a review of their website i noticed several funny things. their prices are "compared at", not a real price...

hmmmm... the whole company seems janky to me... made in china? i dunno. i called some friends in the business who might be interested in one or more parts of this truck load of stuff. perhaps we can get what we want out of it for free.

buddies call me back one by one and come to find out that this guy has been peddling truck loads of the merchandise all over the peninsula... for weeks! so i dunno. when ever things are too good to be true they usually are. i want to tell this guy if he can make it off our property he can keep his pants, otherwise we have a backhoe that will bury him and his truck in less time than it takes for him to run to the end of the yard... what do you all think?

sick and twisted...

i dug up this little gem of a link while looking for something gross for stainless steel amazon. she was jokingly saying she hopes she doesn't have worms... so if you are even a little bit squeamish, don't open it. just take my advice, eeewww... i don't have sound on this computer so i couldn't tell you what they might be saying in it. it looks real, but i couldn't tell you either way. the best part is at the end when they are squeezing out all the goo left over... eeewww...


I'll try and post something readable for you today, as i hate video links and you tubes myself. so why I'm pimping it out to you i don't know... it was just pretty fucking gross.

DELERIUM

i cant seem to get any sleep either

i cant tell if its the lack of drinking that's making me feel weird or all the cold meds and caffeine I'm on... its like a whole new world here. like looking through the bottom of a pint glass sort of a thing.
last night cheese said "this whole time i thought you've been sober, but yer just jacked on Robitussin and NyQuil."
man, i look back at everything I've done this week and i go "wtf?" was i thinking?"
I've said that twice today and I've only looked at two of the things i did yesterday. that can't be good! i think my blood level is getting too high in my alcohol system.
its really funny all these coma induced memories I'm having. cheese wanting to molest me in my sleep and me waving her off, getting smacked in the face for snoring and waking up with a sore nose, like it really happened. falling asleep with out drinking an entire case of beer.
i better be getting well. last night cheese asked if i was finally feeling better. i told her i couldn't tell if the medicine was working or if i was just not coughing any more. but true to form i left half a lung running down the side of my pick-up on the way to work this morning... (did you guys get that little bit of visual imagery there? good!)
so between trying to put new spool o-rings in, on the return to dig valve, on the backhoe and getting the 1960's era water pump to start this morning i realized i probably shouldn't be working... i mean visibly i look like shit and sound like shit as well, but mentally i think things are really starting to affect me and come apart. like i was starting to think that what you all were commenting on about my medicine intake might be true... but i shook all that off and filed it under the fact that I'm most likely hallucinating from dehydration... aka: lack of beer. so fear not children of the beast!!! (wot did i just say?!?) i vow to try and drink some beer this evening!!! i will not let you down!!!


(wish me luck i couldn't even finish one last night)

im starting to see double... i feel like ass... a little tail anyone?

CHER UNMASKED

HMMM... cher says she is a couger but, im starting to think otherwise....

what the fuck is a meme?

so over at first nations, she got memed by this blogger, to post a picture of what it looks like out your kitchen window. since i don't have any kitchen windows or any new pics of my house, i thought id re post this gem. my kitchen is on the right and as you can see there is no window... so nations was memeing people to post the some pics and since she didn't post any of what she was memed to do, i thought it would be okay to not do the same...

oh yeah and this is the view from outside. the plants are bigger now and there are more leaves but that's about it....

psssttt... by the way, this is an articulating front end loader with a cab on it.....

....and this is an excavator! that's Jim operating that piece of equipment there at post ranch! where we did all the work for the new units... starting at what does it say there? funny another buddy of mine took most of the photos for the newer portions of there website. if they only knew exactly how many times we have poached their um, facilities...
anyway have a day everyone!!

todays tally

7:15 a.m two tablespoons of robotussin, cough and cold.

7:55 a.m two dayquil liqui-caps, sinus and cough

8:00 a.m. cup of coffee, two spoons of sugar, milk

8:15 a.m. 2nd cup of coffee

8:30 a.m 3rd cup of coffee

9:45 a.m 4th cup of cold ass coffee, extra helping of sugar

11:30ish a.m ice cold red bull

12:15 p.m coca-cola with lunch

12:45 p.m warm red bull and second pack of dayquil liqui-caps

1:30ish p.m coke in a can and fourth smoke of the day! (yeah me...)

3:00 p.m glass of water...

i'm yawning as i write this... i need a nap, think i can get away with a nap on the clock? hahahahaaaaa... enjoy the rest of your day all!!

THIS WOMEN IS AMAZING

c'mon you'll love it

I've been reading this women since i started blogging. she is in my blog roll. funny as hell and a great mom. epic posts about how she deals with her life and kids and work and husband. recently she hit a bottom of sorts it seems. she hasn't said much about what happened, but is writing about her recovery and the time she was institutionalized. i think it started early two weeks ago. and she has only posted three times since... but if you start here and the read up the page in order of her posts its amazing. makes me want to get all emotional and shit. i imagine that's what it was like the first time my mother was institutionalized... i dunno. i pimp other peoples blogs without them even knowing it. she has a massive reader following and like i said, her posts have power.

i dont care who you are

like i said in the title of this post... i don't care who you are, this is hot. don't get all sheepish on me, its a nice photograph. i know that cheese will enjoy it too! she has a little crush on one of her class mates that drives a pink motorcycle!!! hahahaa cheese, loving you babe! so this photo is for her!
i might have to go to town this morning to pick up some brake parts, so i thought id crank this little post out for you...
not too much happening this morning... one of our truck drivers mentioned yesterday that the truck might need some brakes. "they have been squealing." he said. so i pop off the tires this morning to take a quickie gander. WTF? toast, real toast. no pads left, just metal on metal. ground through the discs and made a complete mess of things. so much so that the cups in the calipers have come so far out that they have been leaking oil from their seals. (that's bad!)
after honing out all the crap and scrapes from the jacked caliper cups, i got down to business. tore apart the 4x4 hubs and inspected those and repacked all the bearings and installed new dust seals. torqued everything back down and reinstalled the hubs... parts are available and need to be picked up. that's generally means me...
which means.... hopefully i can drag the day out far enough that i can go to town and not have to drive all the way back to the sur... seeing as how i drive past my road on the way to town and its always nice to squeeze in a little personal time when i am there!
anywayz, this post will bore the living snot out of most but oh well... have a day.

DELETE

i am abominable!!!

IVE CLEANED UP THE BLOG LIST. some of the blogs i linked to, where dead... or they just started to suck. there are a few more that need to go as well, but I'm waiting for something good from them. one last chance. so if your blog sucks its gonna be gone... if you stop blogging for long periods of time and i still like you, there will be a new section for all of you!!! (sushi, WTF? where you at!?)

it will be the lazy blogger section.... you don't want to be in there... muwhahahaaaa. i have people tortured in there. lots of bad music and crickets chirping. shit filled cubicles from where you will be forced to blog from endlessly. mahahaaaa...

sorry, over-caffeinated moment there....

i hate this kind of shit.

gimme, gimme, gimme

i told this guy i would help him with a small project. Friday he shows up just as I'm leaving with the plates he wants me to weld. wants to know if i can do it right then.

"no, i can't. it's Friday and I'm leaving."

this isn't a job that I'm getting paid for, its something i told him id do for free and id get it done soon. he leaves like he is bent out of shape. well, he calls me twice yesterday wondering if i got it done yet. the second time he called i told him i wasn't going to do it until Tuesday afternoon.

he shows up here this morning and is all bent out of shape that its not done.

"wheres my plates?"

"right where i left em. i told you id get them done this afternoon, that i would CALL YOU when they were finished. remember?"

"well I'm here now..."

"i can can see that...."

"can you do them now?"

"you don't even need these right away you said, i also told you that these were traffic rated electrical box covers. that they are rated for TRAFFIC. so you can drive on them, you don't need me to beef them up any more. its going to take me more than an hour to do the work and if you want me to paint them black they wont. be. ready. until. this. afternoon."

"just get it done!"

now I'm thinking... WTF? I'm doing this guy a favor and he's gonna try and boss me around. i want to bring these plates up to his house and shove them up his ass. i don't even want to do the work. but if i don't do it, he will be calling and calling and stopping by and bad mouthing me. i fucking hate people like this... i dont owe this guy anything and he can kiss my ass otherwise. he is someones dad and i'm trying to help him out... last time i do that again. if i were to charge it would have cost him a couple hundred bucks....

i need this sign to follow me around like a thought bubble

this is about as useful as i feel today

this weekend was great! went to buddys house after work on Friday and had a few beverages... on the way home stopped at Fernwood for just ONE drink. double gin and tonics.... and then a beer, and then a triple of Yeager. what no dancing tonight? shit, we were out of there.

got home and made a few phone calls. cheese talked to her friend for a while and didn't really remember much. than we called Kay. (hi Kay!!!) cheese doesn't remember much of that either. she ended up passing out on the couch. how did she become such a light weight?!?! hehehe, (hi cheese!)

talked to Kay for a good while and am sure filled her head with all kinds of funny thoughts. we are going to try and make it up to her place towards the end of the month. except as I'm writing this I'm also Google Earthing "death valley" AND where Kay lives.... they are not as close as they seem. i had also mentioned driving up to harass Cher as well... i mean visit. gonna have to talk to the cheese about all this. i thought she was listening and uh huhing, but was really snoring and sucking up drool off the leather couch! hahahahaa...

Saturday we had a bunch of people over. friends of cheese came and watched us garden. (their BMW couldn't make it up our road. hahahaaa, they had to walk like a mile and a half uphill. hahahahaaa. i guess that made them not want to help.) anyways, we planted corn, red and yellow beans, beets, Asian radishes, carrots, scallions and some more flowers in the new raised beds i built. then i ran the auto drip irrigation and sprayers into them and pressure tested.

had some more friends come up and started in a little heavier on the silver bullets. decided to all walk out to "the point". its on our property and has a sick view of the canyons down to the ocean.

this is a shitty picture from the point which is on the Realtors web site. but you get the idea. from there we hiked down to the creek. the six of us went down and the five of us built a small dam. we raised the water level over a foot in the swimming hole we choose. problem is, the water is so far down into the canyon that there is not so much sun. its hard to jump in a mountain stream when yer not that warm and the water is that cold.

we hike back up and warm our bones in the sun for a while longer, then head back to the house. couple of people split and a few more show up... our initial plan for the day was to have a BBQ.

we made three different cuts of steak, some wild boar sausage, venison tender loins and some store bought peppered pork loins. bust out a large salad and some garlic buns and baked potatoes and broccoli... there was more but memory starts to fade at this point in the evening. after dinner we watch the cartoon version of Sindbad for the fiftieth timethen we booted everyone out and hit the sack.

Sunday was also spent in the garden. built some more steps up the back side of our garden heading towards the chicken coop. went to big sur to pick up cheeses girls and hung out with a buddy. watched some "cops" and headed home. made some three meat spaghetti sauce and garlic bread. (ended up making that a little too salty) chowed down and put the kids to bed.

yeah, the time change can kiss my ass at this point.

oh yeah did i mention that I've been sick as hell and spent most of the last three evenings coughing and snorting up half a lung?!?and got like a total of six hours of sleep since Friday? no, i didn't mention that? oh...

one last thing since ive gone to to the store and bought some beer.

someshitshehadup,idunnowhatitmeans

go here. this is a friend of ours and she has just started blogging. she is very smart and travels the world doing good things for people. now fair warning. she is very wordy and writes beautifully. she is also a crack-up and VERY VERY VERY candid. some of you will love her, others will be shocked and the rest of you will be like me and scratch your heads...

just dont...

so I'll leave you all with this last little thought. don't start large projects on a Friday. don't help stupid people, its gonna bite you in the ass, on a Friday. don't do something when your intuition says no. don't say you are going to do something then not do it, that fucks you the worst and finally don't wait too much past two o'clock on a Friday to start drinking beer when everything you have attempted to do goes wrong... I'm sick of this work day already...

I'm working on the bosses daughters Volkswagen. I'm working with new parts people now, since my last parts dealer unexpectedly closed its doors on Friday. I'm balls deep into the johndeere310c backhoe loader controls. complete refurbishment. bearings, ball joints, washers, etc... don't do all this on a Friday... WTF?

whatsitgonnabe?

whats really happening here?

a lot of bloggers seem to have a theme for Fridays... for example MJ has a filthy Friday thing generally happening. and others do the same... id like a theme for my Fridays... like "i don't want to be at work, id rather be home having a beer" Friday postings... but that is my everyday theme here. i also thought of "four letter word Fridays", but that also is one of my daily themes. "fuck the world Fridays" nope... "flick-a-booger Friday"...nah "finger yerself Friday"...hmmm... "fuck-a-friend Friday".... that might get people into trouble. "file yer fingernails Friday"...what? all of these suck.

i just thought of "things that suck Fridays", but that is also something i do here everyday. but this morning for instance. i hooked up my log splitter to the back of the truck to let a friend borrow after work. i drive like a fucking turtle down the two miles of dirt road and hit the pavement, where i can increase my speed to ten miles an hour! woo hoo! I'm heading down the one lane road and get to a sort of switch back in the road, when all of a sudden the fucking thing flips over up side down and comes off the tow ball. i slam my brakes and the thing slides and wedges up underneath the truck. BEAUTIFUL... I've got two girls in my truck that I'm bringing to school who promptly flip the fuck out...

*shaking head and saying to self WTF?*

put it back on the truck and survey the damage. engine has been ground down through the plastic covering into the head. broken dipstick tube and shattered support housing. smashed fuel tank and missing cap. broken hydraulic fitting and destroyed actuating valve. bent/pinched hydraulic steel tube and ground down cylinder... broken plastic fender and bent hitch pin.

WTF? i was going ten miles and hour... so people start pulling over to help me flip it back on its wheels and hook it back up.

"no, no man i got it. thanks. its not heavy." i say to several different helpful folks.

have you ever tried to help a biker pick up his/her Harley after he/she dumps it? you don't even want to go there. back the away and pretend you didn't see it happen. imagine that and the fact that it was dumping gallons of hydraulic oil all over the place and i didn't want to stick around and clean it up...

i had some Mercedes Benz tailgating me down the rest of the canyon for a while. i look back and they have their windshield wipers on... heh heh, that's oil splashing up on your windshield, grill, hood and lights motherfucker. now get off my ass. no sooner had i said that to myself, when they backed way off and pulled over...heh heh. how do you like me now?

anyway i was wondering what i should designate my Fridays. this one I'm going to call my "WTF just happened Friday".

any better suggestions will be appreciated.... have a nice day.

VACATION?

I GOT SOMETHING FOR YA!

we are thinking about joining in on a buddies road trip at the end of the month. they are headed out to death valley. this is my drinking partner, so i imagine I'll be fairly hung over throughout the entire trip. driving while hung over pretty much sucks my ass. driving at night chaps me raw. I'm going blind. so it's a driving trip if you hadn't figured that out yet.

anyway, i know nothing of the area and am interested in checking it out. trouble is we have two dogs that would more than love to hit the road with us. that means camper shell, also not really a problem. here in lies the dilemma. i need to bring along at least two extra tires, (as i am a four wheeling fool and shit does happen.) two cans extra of gas... two dogs, two cans of gas in an enclosed camper.... see what I'm getting at? I'm going to have to build a rack for my camper... to put all the stuff i normally put in the back of the truck, coolers, stoves, guns, etc...

huh, well that wasn't such a big deal to figure out was it? fuck that means welding... more going blind...

so I'm all fucked on dayquill right now and my ears are popping one then the other. head is packed and come to find out that last weekends little sleep over caused us all to get sick again... from the same kid who got us all sick last time.

WTF is wrong with parents who let their kids go to other peoples homes and infect them with some sickness. we noticed that this kid was not right. but couldn't put a finger on it. come to find out that today her mom is bringing her to the doctors. 103 degree temp for the second day in a row...

alls i have to say is... fucking bitch! quit asking us to watch your kid when she is sick so you can have an adult night out.... I'm gonna spike your next drink at the bar with some ipecac. see how you like it.

i don't like to bitch about being sick, partly because I'm always suffering from something, back problems, belly problems, ass... anyways... I'm gonna have a word with this lady and her husband about this... and why is this kid always sick anyways?!?!?

hey!waitaminute!!!

just want to brag for one second... CHEESE KICKS ASS IN SCHOOL!!!!

thats all... be back later.... fuck that might have been two seconds... sue me.

I WANT ONE!!!

does anyone know where this came from? i want one... let me know if this is from ikea or target or something and I'll say no, but if its a "man made" item I'd buy it!!! enjoy the rest of your day.

going over to a buddys house for a truck load of dirt. exciting isn't it? it is for me! because i just spent about eighty bucks for 24 cubic feet of organic potting soil yesterday. so a whole truck load of organic stuff from a buddy for freebies is nice...

why dirt? well on our mountain the dirt ain't dirt. its crushed up rocks... decomposed granite... i have a post on it somewhere... its used for making driveways and ball parks... not for growing vegetables.... woo hoo!!!

*jumps up and clicks bottom of feet together*

gonna get some free dirt... gonna get some free dirt...

this is why we garden and hate mechanics

no matter how you look at it groceries are fucking expensive. WTF? all this food i have to eat sure cuts into my drinking fund, and dirt bike fixing fund, camping fund, boating fund, stripper fund, not going to work fund... uugghh. last weeks drunken shopping was over three hundred bucks, yesterdays Costco and Safeway trip cost me another three hundred bucks. that's not including the gas to get there(okay i did buy two thirty six packs of beer, two nice bottles of wine, one syrah and one pinot gris, and a couple of movies.)

i remember the days of only alcohol in the belly. i thought that's why they called it a beer belly!?!?! not a "wow that guy looks like hes been eating and drinking belly."

yeah, yeah... i buy expensive shit... Cornish game hens and ribeye steaks... four or five different types of cheeses(funny eh?) and all kinds of fancy things... no government cheese here dude. and i buy sparkling water by the case, red bulls by the thirty pack and gallons of fresh juices...

we buy the good organic produce and let fruits rot on the counter in the basket at an alarming rate. but all this is to tell you that we garden. we grow the shit out of plants at our house... i don't even know what we are growing this year... hmmm...

three different kinds of lettuce, spinach, bok choy, Scarlett runner beans, raspberries, green onions, garlic, we are going to do corn this year, sunflowers (last year we had some unexpected monsters!), potatoes, watermelons, broccoli, zucchini, tomatoes, broccolini, artichokes... fuck i cant even remember what else...

and not that it even saves us that much money, but they TASTE so much better than every thing else at the store. and its free! well, i guess i did buy the dirt, the seeds, the chicken wire, the screws to hold the boxes together, etc... and factor in my time and those fucking tomatoes now cost about three hundred bucks a piece! damn... that's why they taste so good.

well ive got to go,there is an old dude whose truck broke down in the parking lot here...

bonus story!!!

now I'm back, fucking ancient Nissans. if you are a Nissan manufacturer and you read here, please leave... what a pain in the ass that was....

no crank, just a weak click... load test reveals a strong battery. hmmm, good connections.. .try it again. just one click...

"its a new starter" he says...

lights flash in my head, fucking mechanics... i hate them... what i hate worse is cleaning up after them. so on this older Nissan there is no fucking way in hell that i can get even my small girly hands on the back of this thing without removing the oil filter. well the thing with that is this oil filter is on its side...

do you know what that means? fucking oil all over the starter, there is no room to put a nice piece of cardboard in between so it runs off onto the ground... err, into a drain pan, yeah, a drain pan. guess what else runs right next to the fucking oil filter and starter? yep, you guessed it! the exhaust manifold. they aren't cold, that's for sure....

so i remove the oil filter, get a gander at the starter... napa... garbage, cheap plastic made in Mexico garbage... fuckers. tighten up the battery cable to the starter, double check the mounting bolts are tight, then cinch them down, clean and reconnect the ignition/igniter wire to the solenoid and replace the oil filter, top off his oil and close his hood.

"go ahead and start it Joe."

"what? don't you need to check it?"

"no Joe, go ahead and start it."

he looks at me with this your a crazed fucking lunatic glare and starts his truck. his eyes bug out and head nods as he says something to himself...

"so i don't have any money, but do you smoke?"

"that's okay Joe, if you would have broke down across the street i would have told you to get fucked, but you broke down here so i fixed it for you for free. no worries on the smoke though, thanks."

"well i don't mean cigarettes, you know... smoke... "

" i know what you mean, no thanks. if you have any other problems today call the office and I'll get you out of trouble, but yer good. that starter you had put on is shit, but yer good. wait did you put that on there?"

"no.... a shady tree mechanic did. thanks a lot Zack and we will see you again."

"hopefully not under your fucking truck eh?"

now, i do what i do, when i do it. but not at work. i sure as hell don't want people in this town thinking i do anything other than work at work. i don't walk around with a big sign saying all kinds of shit about myself. i don't volunteer that kind of information to customers of my work place. I'm just a greasy low life to them.... heh, lets keep it that way shall we?

he drives off and am left with the memories of what it means to be a shady tree mechanic. aka backyard mechanic, flat backer, etc... some mechanics just fuck things up for the rest of us....

Profit Soars at BJ’s Wholesale!

profits at bj's are soaring! i wonder how?

well thats kind of a no brainer... i mean anywhere that has wholesale bj's has got to be doing well. um, did i miss something?

for first nations

gopher

we have these... i think, they look like the ones below this... so maybe we have moles. fuck.

mole

i never really see them so i dont know for sure... but the neighbors say that "the fucking gophers around here kill everything." so i dunno...

woodchuck

sick of the "how much wood jokes".

god help you if you have one of these...