Friday, March 07, 2008

whatsitgonnabe?

whats really happening here?
a lot of bloggers seem to have a theme for Fridays... for example MJ has a filthy Friday thing generally happening. and others do the same... id like a theme for my Fridays... like "i don't want to be at work, id rather be home having a beer" Friday postings... but that is my everyday theme here. i also thought of "four letter word Fridays", but that also is one of my daily themes. "fuck the world Fridays" nope... "flick-a-booger Friday"...nah "finger yerself Friday"...hmmm... "fuck-a-friend Friday".... that might get people into trouble. "file yer fingernails Friday"...what? all of these suck.
i just thought of "things that suck Fridays", but that is also something i do here everyday. but this morning for instance. i hooked up my log splitter to the back of the truck to let a friend borrow after work. i drive like a fucking turtle down the two miles of dirt road and hit the pavement, where i can increase my speed to ten miles an hour! woo hoo! I'm heading down the one lane road and get to a sort of switch back in the road, when all of a sudden the fucking thing flips over up side down and comes off the tow ball. i slam my brakes and the thing slides and wedges up underneath the truck. BEAUTIFUL... I've got two girls in my truck that I'm bringing to school who promptly flip the fuck out...
*shaking head and saying to self WTF?*
put it back on the truck and survey the damage. engine has been ground down through the plastic covering into the head. broken dipstick tube and shattered support housing. smashed fuel tank and missing cap. broken hydraulic fitting and destroyed actuating valve. bent/pinched hydraulic steel tube and ground down cylinder... broken plastic fender and bent hitch pin.
WTF? i was going ten miles and hour... so people start pulling over to help me flip it back on its wheels and hook it back up.
"no, no man i got it. thanks. its not heavy." i say to several different helpful folks.
have you ever tried to help a biker pick up his/her Harley after he/she dumps it? you don't even want to go there. back the away and pretend you didn't see it happen. imagine that and the fact that it was dumping gallons of hydraulic oil all over the place and i didn't want to stick around and clean it up...
i had some Mercedes Benz tailgating me down the rest of the canyon for a while. i look back and they have their windshield wipers on... heh heh, that's oil splashing up on your windshield, grill, hood and lights motherfucker. now get off my ass. no sooner had i said that to myself, when they backed way off and pulled over...heh heh. how do you like me now?
anyway i was wondering what i should designate my Fridays. this one I'm going to call my "WTF just happened Friday".
any better suggestions will be appreciated.... have a nice day.

17 comments:

cher said...

how about "things I love about Cher" that would be good.
i'd read it for sure.

i loved this story. not that all that damage happened to your log splitter, but the mercedes tailgating thing! that was awesome!

INNER VOICES said...

just got off the phone with the three manufacturers of the products i need to replace... final total 467.89, not including shipping! fuck....

glad you liked the story... and thats not you in the car eh? cougar.... muwhaahahaa....

INNER VOICES said...

hahahahhahaaaaa.... im still fucking laughing... sorry, thats kind of rude... its an old picture thats circulated the intrewebworld for years but i still like it! have a great weekend and thank you cher for the comment!

cher said...

that was ages ago... and that's totally me in the car. me or your mom...
hahaha

that sucks about the cost.
why didn't you just put it in the back of your truck? and maybe from now on, when people want to borrow stuff they have to cpme pick it up?

INNER VOICES said...

CHER! you and my mom? damn...you are a couger.
put it in the back of my truck? its a log splitter!!! means its heavy. its not the costco version, its the real deal. and i drop this sort of shit off so it doesnt happen... damned if i do, damned if i dont... wtf friday it is...

cher said...

so were you just overflowing with so much testosterone then when someone offered to help you pick it up you said no??

oh, and when I went down on my bike, I totally made the guy who almost ran me over in his truck pick up my bike for me.

ya, damn your mom was hot

INNER VOICES said...

testy yes... and oil flowing onto the ground into the bottom of the creek, nah dont need any help looking at that either... such is life...
yeah, my mom was hot!
come to think of it her last car was a red import hey!!! is that everett in the back seat then?

cher said...

lol...
no, it was just some kid that was looking for candy.

INNER VOICES said...

"hey little boy... would you like some candy?"

cher said...

exactly. it's just that easy.

cher said...

i think parents enjoy the break

INNER VOICES said...

umm... ew...

cher said...

ya, i was pretty proud of myself for the level of disgusting i hit there.

INNER VOICES said...

yeah, i guess you were lureing him in with candy in a box.

cher said...

refraining myself from the 'my box tastes like candy comment'

Cecile said...

Your Friday sucked as bad as my Wednesday it sounds like. On Wednesday, I lost my cell phone. My kids missed the bus. Stupid people were out in full force on the roadways and caused me to be seriously late for my new job. Wednesday was my first day out of orientation. I got there late and then drove around the effing parking lot another 20minutes looking for an effing parking spot. Finally found one in BFE in a gravel lot across the street. Hoofed it across and up two flights of stairs to make it to work 40 minutes late. Could find my cell phone, so I couldn't call them to tell them my problems. I was suppose to leave and go to a different campus 6 miles away at 11:30 (I was suppose to take a lunch break and make it to the other local in an hour.) Made it to the parking lot where my truck was, and 3 MORONS parked themselves blocking the exit of the EFFING parking lot. So I was stuck. WTF. EVIL FORCES were against me. So I hoofed it back across the effing parking lot, back up the 2 effing flights of stairs, searched for the security office, waited for an officer and then I was escorted in a police car back to the lot to take down licens plate numbers. The fuckers never showed up. Finally someone else moved their car and I drove over two landscape timbers stacked on top of each other to get out of the damn parking lot. The blew 45 minutes, and I didn't get a damn lunch break. Plus, I had skipped breakfast, so I was starving. I was 10 minutes late to my computer class which was a total waste of time and energy. (They taught us how to send a fucking email. Who the fuck doesn't know how to send an email?) The guy next to me didn't even know how to type his own name and I was hungry, annoyed and a royal bitch. Luckily, we got to leave an hour early so I came home and took a long hot bath.

Oh wow, I just wrote a chapter.

Robyn said...

OMG! I am roaring here and its 222am! God I love this blog!
LMFAO!
Hugs,
Robyn