Thursday, February 21, 2008

SOME SHIT...

did she say "bombing for a piece of fuckung viginity"

here is a post i wrote years ago.
i don't know if its relevant or not, but it was how i was feeling about property owners in big sur.
then here is how i felt weeks later when i was writing about the house I'm in now....
and how i felt when i got it!
but i think what i was trying to get at with that is why people and their properties are so funny.
superuberichfuckingasshole property owners will neglect and not care for their million dollar homes and land. and when they do come here it is like camping out in the redwoods to them... oooh, no t.v., no high speed internet and depending how long its been since they were last here, no phone. these are the worst of the land owners here. they refer to locals as you people, as in "what do you people do around here?" "you people must be crazy to live way out here."we live twenty six miles from town. this is not the sahara.
superuberrichfuckingcool property owners are another breed. they are the ones who hire people to live/work on their land. they have ample caretakers houses on site and may never come to the property but twice a year. they pay for upkeep, maintenance of vehicles and equipment, etc... they refer to you as friend or my caretakers, as in "my caretakers are doing such a good job on the property."
then we have the superubercheapfuckingbastard property owning types. they generally live somewhere on the land with the only view and decent road. they might have several "rental units" on site where they "help out the locals" by providing much need housing. trailers, converted chicken coops, steel containers, old water barrels, etc.. they refer to people as tenants or renters, as in "my tenants are late with the fucking rent again, i think i'll turn off their gas."
the waytoostonedandstuckinmyownlife land owners are also found around here. they are the ones who expect their "tenants and renters" to do all the work around the property. because it is such a privilege to live there. they will come up with cool names for these chores and have every one meet on a specific day or "ranch day". to make things more efficient. they might say things like "hey you, why don't you move your truck!" or "why don't you stop by later and help me move some wood."
then you have the staythefuckoffmyproperty types, they don't want anyone around looking over their fences or hopping their gates... they don't own that much and want to keep their little Shangri-La private. "you might catch wind of them saying "stay the fuck off my road!" or "those are my bushes your pissing on, pick up you fucking beer cans and get the fuck off my lawn!" they refer to people as asshole or fucking drunks...
and then we get to the idonthaveanymoneybutmypropertyisworthamilliondollars types. these are the folks who drive around in their 86 cherokees and parade around like they have millions. they talk like it too. "i just put my house on the market for two point six. it should sell quick at that price... would you pass the fried pickles?" these folks have been smoking too much of their neighbors shit and need to take a look at themselves in someone else's mirror. you might hear these people referring to other folks as stiffs or the working class. but they are no better.
there are obviously a lot of different folks, these are the ones i had time to talk about before i leave work early and go home to baby sit the thirty pack that cheese brought home last night! nothing impresses the girlfriends mother more than the drunk, fat, lazy boyfriend passed out on the couch in a puddle of pee... enjoy the afternoon kids!

um, yeah... hell yeah!!

7 comments:

Cecile said...

The purple hair on that ass is cool!

INNER VOICES said...

isnt that just wicked! i cant stop looking at her... wonder where i stole this pic? if i find a link i'll post it!

oakland heidi said...

Oh Big Sur is such a special place...

INNER VOICES said...

heidi! any i may have forgotten? something special you would add please?!

denim said...

ya ranch days... lost my train of thought (hah! train) the ass is staring back at me. uh huh, uhhh. hahahah

Recycled Cha0s said...

yummy!

cher said...

not much better than a 30 pack!
both photos in this post are awesome! fucking for virginity...briliiant!