Friday, February 01, 2008

WAITING AROUND



NOTE: THIS IS A POST I STARTED ON FRIDAY, JUST BEFORE I LEFT WERK! WE ARE NOW ON OUR WAY TO THE RESTAURANT TO CELEBRATE MINI-CHEESES FIFTH BIRTHDAY!!!! SO ITS NOT FINISHED... TOO BAD. SOMEBODY IN THE GROCERY STORE TOLD ME "HAPPY SUPER BOWL" LAST NIGHT... WTF? ITS A FUCKING HOLIDAY NOW??

end of the fucking day and im waiting around. waiting for the end of the day, waiting for parts so i can start the rest of my day, waiting for my truck to show up so i can drink my stashed beer under the seat, waiting for this headache to go away, waiting to get something to eat, waiting for that fucking bouncy thing in the corner with the screaming kid in it to stop playing itsy bitsy spider, waiting, waiting, waiting....


boo hoo...


i really dont think i could handle having a baby... well asides the fact it would hurt like hell coming out of my... you know what i mean. but i dont think i could hang with something i couldnt rationalize with. hey, stop crying... hey, eat your baby food that looks like vomit. hey, why must you shit your self like five times a day...

i love having cheeses girls in my life. im scared fucking shitless that im fucking them up. just being around me must change them. even if i were to sit in a corner and say nothing, i would still be impacting them somehow.

but babies??? they bother me in general. stop screaming, life is only going to get harder. i wish i could shit my pants and

5 comments:

Cecile said...

Ah once you get past the first sleep deprived six months, it get's easier. NOT! I think from the sound of things, you love Cheeses children, so take your love for them and multiply it by about 100 and that is what you would feel for your own child that is your flesh and blood. For they may drive you crazy, but there is something about your own chidren that cause you to love them more than life it's self. I think you would at least make an interesting as hell dad. So if that is what is facing you in the future, then good luck.

hnter1018 said...

Being scared about the kids is normal. I wonder everyday how much I am fucking mine up. It's natural. You've been in the kids lives long enough and they probably love having you in their lives.

Cheeese seems smart enough to know if you were fucking anything up she'd let you know

INNER VOICES said...

yeah, shes a smart one. top of her class in colege no less. she starts back up today as a matter of fact. i know im not fucking them up... sometimes i say things that sound like my father, (hello father) and dont know if its a good thing or bad... when ever im not sure how to respond to things i generally say "i'm not the boss."
and that gets me out of most problems.. they have a dad and a mom so the last thing they need is another person laying down the law...

thanks for the comments guys!!

Kay said...

You want to shit your pants and......

Seriously? After leaving it on that little cliffhanger I can't focus on anything else.

INNER VOICES said...

kay! hahahahaaaa... what kind of imagery are you coming up with?