LUNCH.

i have just a moment. its lunch and freaking cold out side. we had a little rain last night and now its sunny, clear and chilly. ya know probably down to oh... 60 degrees or so, maybe 65. brrr.... ha.

i mooched off just about everyone for lunch today. i had only a bleary thought of making lunch this morning. so i brought two hard boiled eggs, a packet of ramen, two cokes and a granola bar. mmmmm, ya, i know sounds good.

so i mooched the chicken off the front office gals salad, and her "Texas tater tot casserole".(sounds good too huh.) i mixed the chicken in with that. i mooched a couple of raisin oatmeal cookies from another dude here and a v-8 from someone else. I've been looking around for someone with some chocolate to no avail...

i bet I'm going to have a tummy ache later! hahahaha..

well that must have been super entertaining to read. my bad, but i only had a minute... and my brain is kind of not really firing on all cylinders this morning.

work rant. hey if you don't want to go to the job site they want you to go to, don't. go home and look for a new job. but you would have had to learn to read before that wouldn't you. its not our fault you have too many d.u.i.'s to have a licence anymore. its not our fault you don't like the guys that you have to ride in the trucks to the job sites. and quite frankly we don't really give a shit if you like working here or not. so quit bitching. we basically set you up with work to do because we know you need money. we don't always have shit for you to do, but we know you have bills to pay and mouths to feed. so we send you to jobs where your qualifications are best used. ya i wouldn't want to clean out septic tanks or dig ditches either but, guess what, that type of work has your name all over it.

so enjoy the fact that you have a job, the fact that we have an insurance program, that we provide you with safety gear and that you make two dollars more then your fellow amigos who work a whole lot harder then you. oh and by the way... SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET TO WORK, AND DO A GOOD GOD DAMN JOB THIS TIME BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU ARE FIRED!!!

terrible time...

I'm having a terrible time blogging lately. at work i never seem to be able to squeeze time in for a fun post. at home Ive been super ff-ing busy with the moving and i don't generally bring a computer anywhere else. so what is a man to do?

I'll bust a work rant for those who like to hear me bitch about the lame shit that happens here.

on a side note... why the fuck is cnn's headline right now "the cell phones of the dead were still ringing." you assholes... do people really need to know that. cant you news freaks not leave anything untouched. arrggghhhh...

I now officially want to move to a small island off the coast of Zanzibar.perhaps tumbatu island. i bet shit doesn't happen there... i bet i could live the rest of my life with out feeling bad that i had not had to endure the medias frenzy with death and destruction. how many fucking people died in Iraq today? why is that not blasted all over every medias mediums right now? fuckers.

work rant. so after i fixed the leaf springs you broke last week on the trailer, i now have to send you back into the truck, down the coast, over the mountain to get the tires replaced. when the springs broke and shredded the tires for five miles, (that you didn't notice the tires smoking and people honking at you and the trailer leaning and swerving into the other lane just behooves me.)you didn't even see that it had happened until after you got back to the yard and tried to transfer the load.

now today after the concrete pour i noticed that you didn't park the batch plant in front of the shop like i asked you. you put it back in its stall all the way back against the tarp. and then you took off awful fast. hmmm... i noticed that not only had you magically dropped the auger off and put it back on with a bent nail , but you managed to some how bash into something else with it today!!!

when our other driver came back this afternoon sweating and saying his truck almost tipped over, i thought of you. why i don't know. perhaps its the fact that you were the last to drive this truck as well. this driver, (our second in command) thought he was going over, he apologized for dumping his load on uneven ground, he thought he must have bent the keeper tabs that align the bed with the frame. but when i had him lift the bed we saw that, yes, you had been there just before.. you hammered in the tabs that you somehow ripped from the frame, didn't tell anybody that they needed to be welded and almost killed my driver!! arrgghh...

"so, at what point does all this become uneconomical?" i ask our number two.

"well, i sit in the trucks with him from now on." he replies.

"um, is that cost effective?" i ask.

"no, what are you saying?" he looks at me and we both know what I'm saying....

i know what you are thinking too... WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS GUY WORK HERE??? i don't know. so i have something to do everyday at work..... (shhh.. its a conspiracy, i hired him so i wouldn't look like I'm always standing around....)uh, no.

WTF

THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING WACKED... why are we spending billions to protect people in other contries that hate us and we cant protect students on an american campus? this is gross. im glad i dont have t.v. to worsen this shit.
sensationalize these murders.
asshole. kill yourself first then think about killing other people afterwards... school shootings? why do we even have this shit? who the fuck has semi automatic guns on campus? errr...
i dont know why this shit is pissing me off so much this morning. i cant even get into my hotmail without it trying to shove images of bloody students and audio of gunshots onto my screen.
err... my thoughts are with you. innocence lost again.

MORE TIME IN THE DAY

yah i need a vacation. i'll bitch. my life is borderline easy but, ya know, id like a little time off too. im looking forward to the end of the month where i can do a little dirt biking and camping. and need to do some more gardening. but id like to get the f out of the bs.
im only at work half the day so far and im ready to go... shit now someone is looking for me... talk to you all later.....

STATCOUNTER

someone from the UK just spent some time reading my blog. how did this individual find it you ask? they googled "PEE". um, OK... so now i have officially been grossed out. i can see what they were reading and how long they were there. so i googled "PEE" too... weird shit. I'm on the third page and i wonder how much "PEE" this person had read before getting to me...

THOUGHT I SHOULD POST A QUICK ONE

WELL THIS WEEKEND WAS GREAT! i don't want to rub it in but we did all the shit we wanted too! had the girls on Friday, another sleepover with one of their friends, more rope swinging and outside time in the garden. beautiful day in the sun.

made dinner and watched a movie. but this time they passed the fuck out in minutes after hitting the couch!
Saturday was nice, sleep in? no. but went to the south coast and had late lunch with her family. very nice. came home and was so beat up from all the driving we literally passed out too.
Sunday we hid Easter eggs and then found them all. (made sure of that shit. cause when you mix chocolate and my dogs you get to clean up a lot of surprises!) drove down to the south coast and had another Easter egg hunt. our friend puts on a yearly egg hunt up on alms ridge and there was a huge turn out! drive twenty miles up a windy ass road, turn right down a dirt road for like fifteen miles and bam you are smack dab in the middle of no where. but lo and behold there are eighty people there, with a million kids all looking for the golden egg! too much fun. saw some peeps i haven't seen in a while. drank a bottle of champagne and some moonshine and juice's... left just before we got tooo tipsy.

dropped off the young girls with their dad. which went really well since this was the first time we met in person.(so stop talking shit about me now, okay fucker. ill play nice if you will too. but i would really appreciate it if you would stop making up stories about me. thanx) but it went well. lots of eye contact and a firm handshake. so whatever.

we ended up looking for our friends at the bar at nepenthe. they were not working yet and we sat and had a couple of south coast margaritas! oooohhhh.... so good, that brought us back up to tipsy level. so we had a couple double shots of Yeager after that, for the road. ya know, so we wouldn't sober up too much on the way home.

stopped and picked up some "roadies" (cause by the time we passed the store we had forgotten that we had a couple of doubles for the road) and dropped into one of my favorite places to watch the sunset on the way home. liberated a few items and hit the canyon. of course we both really had to ff-ing pee, so i was really trying to hustle up the dirt road to my house.

just as we near the "pee spot", we notice a couple of old timers hanging out drinking beer, sitting in the pull out of our "pee spot". we relieve, and hang with the good old boys for a while. bid them a great day and ramble on up the last bit to the house.

unload all our loot and make a sandwich.

we watch a great movie. if you have not seen "Little miss sunshine" yet, you have to go and rent it! we watched the ending five or six times in tears. such a great film. i had never even heard of it, but that's no surprise. i don't have t.v. so i don't hear about most shit unless its in the paper.

got up this morning to a nice headache and general feeling of caca. and busting my ass at work since.

Work rant: I'm working on one of the head honchos sons 89 honda accord. he paid twelve hundred for it. brought it into some shop where they wanted to charge him twelve hundred dollars to rebuild the carburetor. (fuckers) it just passed smog a week or so ago. shortly there after it stopped idling. it took me all of about five minutes to figure it out. and to advance the timing a smidgen, the smog guys retarded it a little to get it to pass.

wanna know why it stopped idling? the idiots bent the accelerator cable mounting bracket when they were working on it. i can see right on it; a shiny spot where they had whacked it with the pliers they were using to tighten the distributor keeper bolt. assholes. rounded the corners right off the bolt. get the right size wrench. i swear if i saw a technician popping the hood on my car holding a pair of vise grips or whatever i lock them on to his nuts and tell him to have a nice day.

WHY IS IT...

why do these weeks seem longer and longer? is it that i am enjoying the weekends so much more!? i dunno, i cant wait to leave today! i brought a couple of "cold ones" in my lunch today so i don't have to buy any "roadies" for the way home... i want to leave right now... i just fished my lunch out of the truck and spotted them... hmmm, icy cold goodness... it shitty in the valley here right now and when i left my house this morning it was beautiful! i mean really ff-ing beautiful. i just came back from a job up on partington and it amazing up there! and now I'm back in my bloody office in the fog and chill. yeah, yeah, bitch and whine... got any cheese?
so i have a cool weekend planned, two days of south coast. and Sunday will be a huge Easter egg hunt i guess.. i thought it was a small affair but i have been hearing about all these folks who are heading down, so it should be a good time!
the longer i don't hang out with my old friends the longer i realize just how much they are complete assholes. its been nice not to have been subjected to their bullshit anymore... (random thought!)
do you know what?!?! I'm fucking outta here, i just decided I'm leaving early!!! so long... in about ten minutes you can imagine me pounding down a couple of cold ones! (enter homer Simpson sound track here) hmmm....beer...
enjoy your weekend all!

TRICKED YA!

i bet all of you thought that i was planning some think illegal this weekend, didn't ya! "something to benefit me later..." muhahahaa... no. we planted tomatoes. two different kinds. yep, pretty boring huh. we also planted basil, chives, cilantro, flowers(three different kinds...) and ran some automatic irrigation hoses and emitters...

sooooooo... sorry to disappoint y'all, but that's it. heh heh.

yesterday we did do something sort of um, well... we @#$%^&** some shit. {THERE WAS A COMPLETE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT WE DID HERE, BUT DUE TO THE FACT THAT I MIGHT SOMEDAY GET INTO SOME TROUBLE FOR IT, IVE DECIDED TO DELETE IT... SORRY... }so i didn't let you down all the way...

anyways... hope all is well and you have a great Wednesday! I'll be back later i hope...

The last of it...

So Ive a had some good responses from sugars question... thanks to those that commented here and to those who i have talked to in person. here's my take. i agree with all of you. i am so used to being hurt and deceived by love that i have no idea what its all about. why would anyone want to engage in it at all??? except i don't think its a voluntary issue. i don't think you can choose to fall in love or not to love some one. shit just happens. for some it happens for the better and for some the worse.

do you love them more then they love you? and on what scale? how do you measure, is it how you convey it. or what? how do you know?

i know if you have kids there isn't much you wouldn't do for them. is that how you gauge? pets? family? a new car? we use the term and the words so often, what the fuck does it all mean?

anyway, I'll just be happy. i don't care to know if its more or less or who is loved more or whatever.... i don't care.

you know what matters more to me... honesty. if you can be completely honest and truthful to me, with out lieing, then you can have my heart. don't lie to me, you will lose me. don't hide shit from me, I'll find out. then things will be worse. tell me what your thinking, good or bad. id rather know all the facts and then let my heart sort it all out. that's the kind of guy i am. i think suspicion is the worst part of a relationship and its a killer.

Ive been fucked over so many times under the guise of love, the word is losing interest for me. I'm in love, so be it... more importantly I'm honest. and that is what I'm hoping will work out more that gauging my intensity.

and that's the last of it.

sometimes....

sometimes my brain and my mouth don't connect properly. idiot. this morning was no exception. why i don't know. I'm feeling like an ass, and if you would please forgive me that would be great. id say punch me in the mouth but that would be like killing the delivery man. so i guess you should punch me in the head... via the mouth. ill open it big and wide so you can hit me all the way in the back...(oh yeah my mouth is that big!)

this whole love debacle is getting to me and i just need to be happy! i am so fucking happy that it seems i need to fuck it up. so for the fourth time today, i love you. nothing short of M.D.K. will get in the way of that.

i could sing you a song... you know how good i can sing!!!

won't you be mine....

QUESTION

a question was posted on sugars blog that hit me sideways... something I've been pondering myself for a while... "Its always best to marry someone who loves you more than you love them?...."

why i don't know. i didn't have an answer and sure as hell don't know too much about marriage. but love, i thought i knew about.

does anybody have any ideas, what might your thoughts be on it?

how much of a difference might there be, between being in love and loving someone?

does the love need to be equal and shared or can ones feelings carry the others?

can there be too much?

sorry, I'm just a little fucked up on it right now and tried to spit it out... its not coming out right so ill stop.

anyway, i said id continue on about this weekend. and why I'm looking forward to it....

I'm starting a new project that will hopefully be beneficial to me soon. that's all i can say! hahahahahaha... thought id actually tell you huh? well maybe, but not now.... enjoy the day?

oh, and sorry about not properly capitalizing things any more... spell check doesn't do it for me and I'm too lazy to go back and do it myself, so until i learn how to type with caps, this is what you get!

sweet dreams....

Since i seem to be on an animal picture kick lately, i thought id post this one...

anyway, how nice is this?!?!?! after work we popped into my favorite drinking hole for a beer or two... had a couple of beers and chatted with people we hadn't seen in a while. it was the bartenders birthday this past weekend and we all had a round of whiskey to make up for our no show.

we drove home and had another shot of Yeager and well got into bed. ahem.

woke up this morning groggy. we had just slept for twelve hours! its sort of like sleeping in i guess. when you go to bed early, but we were still up at seven o'clock.

funny thing i was just bitching yesterday about never getting to sleep in....

in other news... I'm looking forward to this weekend!!! why?

to be cont....

TIRED, COLD AND SICK OF THE RAIN I NORMALLY ENJOY. i dont want to bitch, so i wont. but i did wake up late this morning and the propane regulator was frozen, there was an inch of hail on the ground and some of us needed to shower. there was not enough gas to heat some water for coffee. now come to think of it did i shut the stove burner off? shit.... now im not going to be able to stop thinking about that... i need a little more time off with her, sleep in for a change, less stress... i cant focus, ill be back.

HIKING!!!

we finally got to go on the hike i have been itching to go on! holy shit! awesome... where do i start... we drive down to the point(which is just below my property.) and head down to the creek. (it would be considered a river by some in this state.) its a beautiful day where we are and no bugs! everywhere else on the coast is socked in fog, but we are so high up in the mountains that its above all that, anyway... we are on a mission.
the trail down to the creek is nice until the bottom where the dirt isn't as stable. but it only takes a few short minutes to get there. there are trees down everywhere! looks like the wind has been ripping through there for years, but today barely a wisp. we clamber over rocks big and small to head down stream... there are waterfalls thirty feet tall that plunge into swimming holes large enough for ten people to splash around in and moss covered boulders as big as trucks everywhere.. its nice to feel the spray form the water pounding against the bottom of these falls...
we adventure down further and big sur princess looks across the creek and says, "hey look over there! doest that look man made?"
"naw, looks like a bunch of dead fall.."
"no , look there... see, lets go over there."
"ya, I'm in, lets do it."
so we cross the creek for the millionth time and pop up into this old growth red wood stump that has been converted into a storage area and "drying room". its huge, when i say stump that doesn't really do it for ya. it over fifteen feet across inside, its well over head high with "chambers" in it. a small cache of old tools and tarps in one corner.. we hike up and out of that onto two flattened campsites and a well used fire pit in between. some asshole even decided to carve their initials into the tree and the year that they lived there...
"05' N.O.and P.P."
there wasn't much trash immediately but i knew right away what this was... (anybody seen the movie Homegrown? no? rent it and you will get the feeling of where we where this weekend...)
"lets hike around and go up here."
"look here is some black pipe... lets follow it."
now, rooting around in an abandoned "site" really isn't the smartest thing to do but it looked like no one had been back in a while.... we found what we were looking for right away, hundreds of feet of pipe, old buckets, fertilizers MPs, everything.. timers, garbage, propane tanks, you name it, it was up there...
mind you, we are seven miles from the nearest public road and several miles up a road with locked gates... this was a huge operation... covering an entire hillside. id bet thousands plants or so...
ooppss...
we separate and start a small version of Marco polo, whistling and calling for each other through the dense brush... once we meet up in this small network of tunnels through the manzanita brush, we hear some semi-automatic gun fire... sounds close but gunshots travel far... and then again we hear it... and again..
now normally i don't sweat it.. my neighbor has a bunker and shoots guns all the time.. but now I'm a little nervous...
"lets go!"
"do you think that's for us?"
"i dunno, but we are out of here..."
we casually charge down a draw and keep finding more and more debris. make our way to the creek and towards home.. we stop and marvel at how beautiful the whole scene is and drink a couple of beers.. a red bull, and i watch as this incredible big sur girl throws off her clothes and jumps into the creek. "holy shit that's cold!" she says as she levitates out of the water.

"wow, that's amazing, i have never been the guy to jump into the near freezing water like that."

"no?"

"no, usually its the guys i hung out with who were into it."

"hahahaha, they just wanted to see each other naked...."

we laugh and head back up the water falls. stop and look at some very recent foot prints in the sand in the middle of the creek.

"did you walk in the creek?"

"no, that's strange."

someone had shorty before us walked in the middle of the creek, we assumed they were trying to hide their footprints. that was kind of eerie, when you think you are completely alone in the forest and all of a sudden you realize that there might be someone else with you there, its an odd feeling.

other than that hike we had a great weekend, we made some garden beds and more flower boxes. i found a small snake that the girls just let slither all over their hands, we had a small bar-b-que and had a buddie over who brought his infant child. um... yeah it was mellow and nice. hope everyone else had a great weekend!

another day and another dollar.

work work work. does it ring a bell with anyone else. no time to do hardley anything other than that. go home, get fire wood, light fire, prep food, cook food, do laundry, eat food, clean kitchen. do dishes, fold laundry, stoke fire, take shower, make bed, get into bed, ahem, goto sleep. wake up, make coffee, grab left overs for lunch, start car, goto work, work, work, work...

i cant wait for saturday... i'll get to catch up on all the stuff i didnt have any time to do this week. and its really not all that bad, i get to have a lot of fun too... so this really isnt a boo-hoo poor me post. i swear, i was just haveing a litlle tantrum... have a great day all!!

found this picture the other day somewhere on the ether... funny shit. if properly trained, thats not his dads car...

Mismanagement, picture below

tension is high here at work. i feel it. I'm sick of it. it is so thick i bring it home on my clothes and it affects me after work. it stinks.

these "secret management team" meetings can also suck my shlong. problem with my dogs barking in my truck? (which is parked several hundred feet away from your office.) than stop throwing the fucking ball for your dog by my truck! you wont let me have my dogs here and i don't care, first i wouldn't let my dogs run a round everywhere like you do. and next there is acres of forest here, throw your fucking ball somewhere else!

again if you have a problem with me talk to me.

why not talk to the driver who tailgated the cops wife all the way down the coast last week (twenty six miles) with the Jake brakes blasting away and then passed her on a double yellow with twenty eight thousand pounds untarped! yeah she called here, i took the call!

or talked to the job foreman who doesnt listen to you when you tell him how to do things and goes over your job bids by thousands, losing us money everyday. sure its good work, but its not what you bid on and we have to pay overtime to guys we cant charge for!

how about talk to the guy who breaks something on every truck every day he gets behind the wheel!!! I'm sick of "telling on him" when i have to replace parts or straighten bumpers! help this man learn to drive!

perhaps you could talk with your newly promoted laborer who now thinks that he is the job site boss. when you are not there he doesn't do anything, he "bosses" people around and sits in the shade! listen to your employees who are now miserable. your job site is grinding to a halt as more laborers are refusing to work for him.

stop buying shit we don't need!!! stop doing favors for people who will never ever pay us back!!! this is not what made this company great. thanks for the beer at the pub every other Friday. no one goes there but you. the place smells like shit, the food makes you shit and beer is warm as shit. ask your employees what they might like as a pat on the back for a job well done.

we used to have bar-b-ques. beer and sodas every Friday! lake trips, fishing trips, ski trips... WTF? this is a family oriented business. why the fuck do we need an outsourced consultant for. who lives in san jose for fucks sake!?!?! get back to our roots!

and while I'm bitching like a little boy who doesn't like his new Velcro sneakers, when i ask you to talk to a fellow employee i expect you to do it. I'm sick of his attitude and I'm going to tell him in an unhealthy way soon. not good for you and not good for him. you are managers, do your fucking jobs.

start employee reviews, have a weekly evaluation of job performance. problem employee? fire his ass like you did me years ago. do something other than make people feel like crap everyday.

do something besides having your secret meetings and spend some of that money where it counts.

planning a sober weekend

YEAH... wanna go on a hike. wanna get some shit done. have been slipping on the quitting smoking. things seem to go well with that and then i just start smoking again. this time it seems to have helped. im down to about half a pack. its hard to tell though. when i am at work. i share smokes with everyone. and when im at home i share them as well.. so my plan is this weekend to give the body a break and heal it some and perhaps do some more positive things to it... oh and lots of sex too!!! hahahahaha...

anyway. yeah wanna go and do some hiking around... watch the sunset from somewhere new this weekend.

im not really in the mood for writing right now. ill be back. im going to go out side and smoke.

DAMN

time change... now when we get up its dark... okay so when i get home i have a chance to walk to to the end of the road and watch the sun set. so what. longer days means i feel more guilt about not getting more things done. yesterday we did yard work. all four of us outside raking and moving leaves. hauling lumber around the yard to make a planter box. sounds nice. now that i think of it, it was. jumping into piles of leaves and grabbing big armloads and throwing them into the air. all of us outside hanging out until dark. it was fun. but it was work...
i want the girls to move in. so we have more of this time. so the girls feel more at home. so we all can get more time together and possibly save a little more money. landlord has not been returning my calls. now i need him to. so we are sprucing up the yard and making things look really nice so i can pitch the idea to him. the house is for sale and i hope he doesn't think having some kids there will make things look worse. i hope he will think that it will make things look more homey. more buyable for a family. like people actually live there. seven miles from the highway, twenty eight hundred feet above sea level, two miles up a dirt road that turns to snot when it gets wet. snow on the ground in winter and hot as the back door to hell in the summer. bugs and poison oak, mountain lions and neighbors who carry guns to walk their water lines, wind that would rip your skin off at night and rain that goes sideways instead of falling. all this and more for just one point two million dollars. yep. yet again i live in a million dollar house. and i don't want to leave.
i don't want it to sell, i want to fix it up and live there for a long time. with no one coming by to look at it, with no landlord coming up to "check" on things... but i like him and i want it to sell, he has two babies and a wife,who by the looks of the catalogs i get at his old mail box, likes to spend money on fine things. i want to help out his young family....
i want to create something stable for my own as well.....
with her taking classes so she can apply to nursing school(A student by the way, she is always in the top four in her class.) and me working only full time we still don't have all the money we want, do you ever. i don't want to be rich... well, i have started playing the lotto, but if we work more, we will have less together and isn't that whats more important? isn't that why people work their asses off so that later in life they can spend more time with one another? i feel like i want to do it now... and have the money! hmmm....
time...money...life...
what also doesn't help things at all is that I'm terrible with money. spend, spend, spend... I'm not an addict or anything, but i like nice things... i like to go to nice restaurants and upscale bars and shit... have a good time... somehow at the end of each pay period I'm fucking broke... i hate living hand to mouth. but when i do have savings i spend it! ass...
well the original thought of this post was to bitch about how tired i am and how i cant seem to get my body to adjust to the time change, but i guess i had something else on my mind... hope all is well with everyone...
did anyone notice i updated my template? i hope its okay that i linked some of blogs i liked on here... lemme know if that's not all right.

ANOTHER DAY....

more death.

i meant to go and see her. so often these past few weeks. I'm sorry. wtf. i guess i will remember you better this way. having seen you at the river inn and shared some drinks. had some laughs. seen you with your hair intact and your smile. you just got back from a doctors visit or something. this is so fucked. why do i always find out about peoples deaths when I'm at work. my grandfather, my mother, fuck. I'm sorry i didn't come by. i didn't see helmuth either. why? whats my problem. i know what death looks like all too well and perhaps I'm afraid that when i see the truly dieing that it will be death i see and not whats left of the person inside. I'm sorry. i hope you are in what ever happy place that you have been envisioning for yourself these past few months. i hope its there for you.... i was not.

SATUDAY WAS AN ADULT DAY!

came down from my house and dropped the girls off. met up at river inn, where we had a few drinks with some friends...
"what do you want to do now?"
"i dunno, lets have an adult day, just relax and have some drinks. perhaps get a bite to eat."
"that sounds wonderful! but you don't have any shoes!"
"i don't think it will matter, people will be looking at you and not my feet!"
i had forgotten my shoes this morning and would be sneaking into upscale bars all after noon without them...oopps.
so we cruise up to nepenthe where a great friend of ours works. we have lots of good friends up there as well, but we were hoping to see one in particular. sat at the bar when another customer bought us some drinks. why? i dunno, he wanted to read the tattoo on my forearm and i told him it was for my mom when she committed suicide. i guess he wanted to buy us drinks after that, whatever. after the three or four beers we had at river inn, we decided to turn it up a notch.
"i think we will have kamikazes! yeah, that's what we want. and a couple of beer backs, thanks."
our bartender broke away from his dreamy eyed stare and made some great drinks. we get to hang out with our friends as well as Burt(the guy who bought our first round.) for a while. we had a couple more kamikazes and talked about where and what we wanted to do next.
"well i don't feel like going home yet. what do you feel like?"
"lets go up to ventana, for a couple drinks and a bite to eat!"
"that sounds great!"
we drive up to ventana, where another one of our good friends is working the bar! what luck! he fixes us up with a couple of "cosmopommians"(its like a Cosmo, but with pomm juice instead.) we order some oysters on the half shell.
out comes a round of soup and some warm bread.(they really take care of us there. and remember I'm not wearing any shoes, sitting in a bar where drinks start at around fifteen bucks!)
eat all our food, and he fixes us up a couple of champagne, vodka, juice martini doubles. i don't know what they were called. but they didn't last long. thanked everyone and received some of someones home baked grammas cookies on our way out. the hostess is this young gal who is very sweet. I've known her since she was like eleven or something. they came from her. anyway....
we leave, our initial plan was to hit up all the fancy bars and see how many i could get into with no shoes, but with the sun heating us up and the oysters working their magic we opted to get a twelve pack and head north. on our way home we dropped down into south forty. (i would post a link with a picture but blogger is sucking my ass right now!)we head down to my old house... (okay fine. picture the view of the coast looking south about twenty miles, you see a light house out on a small mountain of earth barely connected to the land by an even smaller stretch of sand about two miles long... beautiful day. and all of this, we view from about 900 feet straight up a cliff, sitting in uber comfortable outdoor chairs.)its my old house. now partly demolished...
after a few more beers we jump back into the car and head home. at some point we disrobed and drove home naked! how fun is that.... ha ha ha... got up to my house grabbed blanket and went down to the point.
at the end of my property is a vista that looks out to the ocean down fifteen miles of canyon with not a house in sight! we sunbathed and listened to blue grass until sunset. finishing off the twelver. so now her car wont start. ha ha ha... we walk the short walk up to my house and make a few shots of red bull, hand squeezed lemons and vodka. so good. and head down to get the car after dark. (theory was the battery would regain some of its life after being left alone for awhile.)
we jump on my dirt bike which has a flat tire, retrieve the car and decide to go on a drunken in the dark motorcycle ride. its pitch black, shes on the back, holding a dim flashlight for us to see and we go bombing down the mountain, encounter a neighbor on the way down who says.
"you kids are crazy!!!"
hahahahaha... we make it back unscathed and head to bed. we are in bed and asleep by ten p.m. what a great day!

GGGRRRRRRR........

when i was seventeen, i illegally worked graveyard at seven eleven.(you need to be eighteen to sell beer in Cali.)myself and another worker from another sister store won some tickets off the radio to see lynard skynard.(wowee, the show suck ass, they were so fucked up they were singing into the whiskey bottle most of the show. at one point the drummer got up, left stage and came back with something for the other band members to "sniff" or "smell" from his hand.hmmm...)

anyway, on our way to the show we get pulled over for speeding, we were driving a Nissan, 280 z. so there really wasn't anywhere to stash the beer we had been drinking on the way, so here comes the cop, we have beer in our laps and he says. "sooo.. you boys been drinking i see"

"yes sir." we say

"how much?" he asked as he checks our i.d.s

"well we had one on the way to here and we just opened these..." was our general response.

he pours out our beers and puts the rest of the twelve pack on the roof. goes back to his car to do what ever it is they do in there and comes back with our tickets. hands us our tickets and walks back to his car. a moment later he drives off. WTF???

we are sitting there with the rest of the twelve pack on the roof, me with a minor in possession of alcohol in a motor vehicle ticket and him with the same... we were stunned.

"what the fuck are we supposed to do now dude?" i said.

"i dunno, lets get the fuck out of here..."was something i might remember him saying.

i never thought about that shit again. i was a minor right? a punk, why the fuck would i pay for that shit? anyway... i get this letter in the mail from the franchise tax board of debt collection this week. they are garnishing my wages for the next four paychecks. i hit the roof right!?!?!

again,WTF? i call the numbers, after hours on hold and being transferred to several different departments, they say I'm still responsible for the fines AND fees, and finance charges!!! i was sevenfuckingteen! its what, like sixteen years later! about half a life time ago... are you f-ing kidding me!

that's just the beginning of it. Toyota calls me this morning, says i owe them $3.16 on my loan. no i reply get bent. i hang up. i made my final payment a month or so ago. i get online, check my bank and my Toyota account...

those crooks charged my bank account almost seven hundred dollars this month!! I'm livid! i call them and two hours later their regional manager sees that there was a computer error and i actually made my last payment, last month and she doesn't know why that happened. this was after they sent me to their collections department, who tried to tell me that i owed them for even one more payment!!!!!!!! i was screaming into the phone..."you motherfuckers are full of shit and I'm looking at my last statement right here and it says paid in full!!! where the hell is my pink slip!!!"

so i get transferred to the gal from Texas who has a degree in not getting off the phone with angry customers. after she tries to defend the charges for half an hour she "sees a problem with their accounting" notifies me that they indeed screwed up and will be sending me a check, minus the fees for issuing a check and service charge.

"WTF? you steal my money and now you are going to charge me for giving it back?"

"well sir, I'll tell you what I'll do for you... i waive the $3.16 still due on your account."

"you fucking bitch, give me back all of my money!"

i had to hang up, i knew she wouldn't, i knew it was only going to get worse. i would have lowered myself to some other form of slander and that's really not me...

if i was a rich guy, none of these little mistakes they made would bother me. but since i am not, it really does. and since i never carry cash and put everything on my debit/credit card i have eleven charges with over draft fees. at thirty five dollars apiece.

i want to burn my truck, send them a picture of me in front of it with my pants down giving them the bird from between my legs looking back at the camera! Toyota can now officially kiss my ass!!!

HERE IS SOMETHING.

WORK RANT.

I don't know you, you don't know me so stop pretending I'm your friend and guess what... I don't want to know you. don't come to my work and ask me questions, don't come here and follow me around trying to glean some free information from me and waste my time. I don't want to help you out, no, I don't want to do you a favor. I don't want or need your shitty indoor pot either, so stop acting like its the best shit in town. I've seen the best shit that the kids are growing this year and it doesn't hold a candle to what I've done in years past. Besides I smoke around once a month now.

When I shine you on don't go into my office and start in on someone else, don't have them come out and try to reintroduce you to me, if you didn't get my subtle hints before, you get it now, when I say, "Who are you? Where do you live? Where did you get my name? Oh him, well as of this minute that guy is on my shit list."
"No as I said before I don't really have any time for you and I don't want your shitty pot as payment, what am I talking about? oh I thought you were trying to bribe me out in the shop with some crappy pot to help you out."
Don't pester me with your stupidity. Why the fuck would I want to know about your bio diesel ideas, I drive a gas truck you fucking idiot and my friends run the bio diesel coop here in big sur. They know more about that shit than you ever will... So suck my ass and you will see what kind of gas I'm interested in.

So as you can figure out, I'm a bit off.. I had this dumb fucker come in and waste my time, my bosses time, the office executives time and generally waste every ones lunch hour on his stoned banter. Get a life bud, this company makes millions of dollars a year, millions. We have some of the most experienced people on the job of any outfit in hundreds of miles, some of the smartest office management and savvy leaders in the state.
Ddid you really think you came up with this original idea all on your own? Then you decided to come in here and pitch us your epiphany in your best Guatemalan pants and Tye dye t-shirt reeking of weed? so why are you put out when i turn my back on you, walk into my office and close the door.
Go home, sober up, take a shower and dress the part. You want our money? Dress like you know what the fuck you are talking about. Perhaps a clean shirt, something other then your "favorite" knitted beany and put on a decent pair of pants you moron...

Other than that things have been flying by and I'll have some more time to get back to that soon...Thanks for sticking in there!!!

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR LODGING...

IM TRYING TO GET LODGING AT BEAR VALLEY, CA FOR SKIING FOR THREE DAYS... WTF? PRESIDENTS WEEK? THE WHOLE WEEK IS A HOLIDAY? GGRRRRRREEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR....

Guest Post

So...you asked me to do this, but it's not really my style. I'm a pretty private person, (maybe you've noticed) so this makes me feel...a little funny.
So, at any rate, here goes...I'm the busiest person I know...I can't stop overbooking no matter how hard I try. I have a short fuse. But my outbursts generally implode. If I'm upset I'll only hurt myself. I don't know what else to say. Between work school kids and the fabulous love affair that occupy my mind putting words into coherent sentences is almost beyond me. Did I mention the dog? Well, there we have it. The reason I have no time for thought. I have vivid dreams. I look forward to the future.
note: this is a post from my wonderful love... very private, very reserved... she is taking a writers block break... i might suggest to her that she not try to write about herself per say, but about something more simple.... any help for her is hugely appreciated... now back to your regularly scheduled posting...
There was this thing, which will heretofore be refered to as THAT. THAT was amazing. THAT was something that until recently I believed only found a place in drugstore novels with bodice-ripping-heroines on the cover. Thank you Zack. THAT was amazing.
Lightening, thunder, fireworks and the grand canyon also make my day. Lets see these things sometime. Perhaps you can bring your camera.
So bloggers, I must apologise for my disconnected convoluted contribution. See you in the ether.
-Camembert

WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING CAFFINE!!!

HOLY SHIT I'M ZOOMING! I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT. I SKIPPED DINNER LAST NIGHT, NO BREAKFAST TODAY AND NOW I'M SKIPPING LUNCH. NO REASON, I JUST THOUGHT TO MY SELF THOUGH, I'M JITTERY. FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE THIS MORNING, THREE PIECES OF SHITTY OFFICE CHOCOLATES, A COKE AND I DISCOVERED A RED BULL IN MY TRUCK, HMM... I JUST POUNDED IT. ZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

SO EVERYONE KNOWS I SUFFER FROM AWFUL DAYDREAMS, I HATE IT. SOMETIMES I GET INSANELY JEALOUS. AND THEN IN THE FOLLOWING MINUTE I KNOW BETTER. SOMETIMES I CALL FRIENDS AND ASK THEM UNCOMFORTABLY "HEY, WASSUP, IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH YOU? YOU ARE NOT DEAD OR ANYTHING RIGHT." AND THEN SOMETIMES I DREAM OF SETTING SHIT ON FIRE, STALKING PEOPLE ETC. I'M CRAZY, BUT YOU ALL KNOW THAT. TODAY HAS BEEN NO EXCEPTION.

WORK HAS BEEN GOOD, I'M STOKED ITS FRIDAY AND CANT BELIEVE ITS HERE ALREADY, I WANT OUT OF HERE! BBBBBBUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ... MY HANDS ARE SHAKING AND I CANT FOCUS. THIS WEEKEND SHOULD BE FUN, ITS SLEEPOVER NIGHT AND I HOPE ITS ALL COOL, PERHAPS WE CAN GO TO MY HOUSE...

TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK TO WORK, I NEED TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES OR SOMETHING... BBZZTTT, ZZZZSSSTTT..POP. BRAIN IS WIRED... ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND, HOPEFULLY I DON'T THINK ABOUT ANYBODY TOO MUCH...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....

FEISTY

I only have a minute. Perhaps I'll write some this evening... I must be in a great mood. I have been giving people shit all day.

Valentines day was great, sorry all, I subscribed. A nice relaxing evening at home. We made some sushi, girls got to make their own rolls, too fucking full to eat them after making them, but I'm eating leftovers for lunch right now! Still more fresh then the premade crap you buy in a grocery store!

Yes a dozen roses were laying on the bed with a funny little note next to them and some truffles. Not the shit chocolate that comes in a red heart shaped box. But some decent stuff you might actually eat!!

Fire was going and we watched thumbilina, you know the old Disney cartoon movie. They were some sickos back then, if you listen to the words while they sing it comes out pretty sexual. So good for a four year old to sing along to!

My back feels better then it has in weeks and after this morning I feel like a million bucks! Shit got to go!

COULD HAVE STAYED IN BED.

YEAH, I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN BED, IM TIRED AND CANT GET MY MIND OFF YOU....

I'll be back later...

WORK...

Waiting to get the fuck out of here.. I finally fixed the loader that's been occupying my work space for over a month now... New boom cylinder seals and packing, l.o.f. (uh lube, oil, filters...), fixed the cavitation in the fuel pump, (was sucking air from a crack so small a bug could hardly fart through it...) Rebuilt a final drive unit, including new speedy sleeve and wheel bearings. Rebuilt two calipers, now these fuckers are huge, with out pads they weigh almost a hundred pounds! Got the tires back on, now you want heavy, ?! These things are only about five feet tall and two feet wide, but we fill'em with water... So they weigh in at about twelve hundred pounds apiece. no worries right? We must have equipment here to move shit around, sure. But its raining and I work out side in the mud. No shop with heaters and lifts and shit, I'm a flat backer. and in the mud is where I do my best work... errr, wait that doest sound right... Reminds me of an old joke, "no grass on the field, play in the mud..." Anyway, what am I eleventeen?

So I got the damn loader out of the way and now I get to clean the thing up, grease, oil and crap everywhere... So I think I'll leave it and see if anyone needs any extra hours... Perhaps I can get someone else to do that work...

We have a driver that breaks shit every day! He just came in looking for another gladhand, (it is something at the end of an air line that connects the trailer to the truck so the air brakes work), fucker says "Dude, got another one of those? It blew off and broke." Now something for you all, they don't blow off, if you put them on correctly the air pressure that surges through them when charged locks them into place, if they were to "blow off" the brakes would immediately come on, trailer would hammer around until you stop. Then you go nowhere. So, whats been happening is he is disconnecting the trailer, forgetting to remove said gladhands and driving off ripping the hoses, etc... Nice.

This is the same fucking guy that last week "helped" me do some front brakes on a one ton pick up. Thanks for telling me you broke the retainer clips on the auto locking hubs, (didnt happen), before you put it all back together. When the operator called and said his front left wheel just seized up and won't do anything, I had an idea you had something to do with it...

And this is the same guy, in the same week, drained the oil in the same truck and then started the thing with no oil to "Get out the rest of the bad stuff." WTF!!! WTF.... I was going to kill this guy!!!

"Why would you do that???" I said.

" I do it on my mustang all the time..." he replies.

"I don't believe you. Bring your mustang up here and drain the oil, I wanna see you fucking start your car and run it with no oil..." I fumed.

Hours later, I replaced the turbos waste gate, reprogrammed the computer.(We have a cool black market tool that muddles around with our ford trucks performance.hee hee.) New oil pump and it was back on the road... Now here is something truly bizarre, I was prechecking that very same truck on Friday and you wont believe it... There is diesel in the coolant overflow container. Another big WTF!!! I don't even want to know which genius put that in there and wheat the hell planet they live on...

This sort of shit happens all the fucking time. Most of our laborers don't speak English, when they decide they don't like working for nickels any more , they try to come up and start doing other shit. Helping out in the mornings, getting trucks ready, staying late after work, etc. So I run into weird shit everyday...

Yep, feel like killing these guys, "Hey how do those lumber racks get ripped off?", "uh, I dunno, I didn't feel anything"

You asshole! The lumber racks are pulled halfway off the truck! How did you not feel anything, and why are you driving? Our insurance can't possibly think that licence you bought over in Salinas at the gas station is yours!!! uuuuuggggghhhhhh....

This is the second time that's happened!!!

Anyway, I figure I'm getting paid right now, I might as well write about work...

WEEKEND!

what a great fucking weekend. thats ill i say. dont want to rub it in on those that didnt, but mine was great. i dont have any time to writ this afternoon, so hopefully ill be back later. want to go out to sushi tonight, we'll see. work is boreing me right now and my back is being fused together so i cant hardly bend over and touch my knees, but i really dont have anything to bitch about. so much to be happy for, but no time to say anything about it! enjoy the day...

still stressing out.

I'm sure there are a lot of us out here that are stoked its Friday. I sure am, I wish it was quitting time right now. Cold beer, a hot squeeze and then throw my feet up and smile... Less then six hours...

Except for some reason I suffer from terrible day dreams... My mind has an auto pilot area of its own, one of my voices perhaps... I hate it. if I know you, you have probably died in some type of accident a hundred times in my head by now. If I am driving, I silently beg on coming traffic not to hit me, Because I've dreamed it happening so often. Yeah weird, Do i get it checked out? No, I know I'm fucking crazy!

And other shit, i'ts not always about death... but i'ts always about people I know.. My day dreams, they happen while I'm at work, driving, walking and even when I'm talking to someone or engaged in conversation... Even now there is a little spot in the back of my head that's crunching on an awful scenario... I know its not true, I know i'ts not real, but sometimes these dreams get the better of me. Get me moody, distrustful, and scared... Who likes to get on the highway and feel like they have been there before and "know" that something bad is going to happen... Who like to hang out with someone who has watched them die or cheat or kill? Hmmm..

Ever had a de ja vu? I hate them, to me its a premonition of death. A dream come true. I truly could live the rest of my life with out one and not be bothered one bit! Anyway, just had a moment to spit out some brain drain.

Have a wonderful weekend all!! I'll try not to think about you.

a few things..

Some shit on my mind. I have recently decided to change my "lame space" account into a fun thing for me... It's lame I know, my space, who gives a shit right? But, I've found a way to even piss people off on there as well! I am going, and have started already, to impersonate other people... Find pictures of them, post them, change all my info around so its funny to me and start leaving comments on "friends" sites in my new guise... hahaha... Okay not that funny but really, how long can you send gross pictures to your buddies? How much networking do you really do? I'ts a giant time suck... And I get to piss off a bunch of people even more! I'm starting to enjoy it...

Next, yes, I have this fucking headache going on and staring at this bright screen is not helping at all... So I wont be here long. but i'ts making me nervous, normally when I get this ill from it, I take the meds, go home, shove my head under a pillow and next morning, presto, I'm fixed. Not the case this morning... Feel almost as bad... fucking stress..

Okay, what stress? I live in the most beautiful place, have a great job, love the most amazing woman and have most of what I need in life.... Whats the fucking deal? I dunno. I tend to dwell on things, have a hard time letting things go. I'm trying to get my mind around some shit right now and I'm almost through it. So wish me luck and if things all go well I feel better by tonight and my brain will be free from lame shit.

Another fucking hallmark holiday is on the horizon. Spend some money on some useless shit America! Buy some chocolates and crappy champagne and get your girlfriend fat and drunk! Then bitch about how big her ass is next week! What ever... I don't really subscribe to this one, but I would like to do something nice for my new lady... I'm not into candy and lame teddy bears. She loves flowers but I give those all the time. And on v-day a dozen roses is like a hundred bucks. The day after they are like twelve fifty... Does that make any sense? Any ideas would be appreciated. I'd like to go for a drive and eat somewhere nice, bring her girls and watch the sunset from somewhere we'd have to sneak into... But we do that everyday too... I buy gifts all the time and do nice shit for her and her girls regularly... I am not like the rest of this lame country where I get an excuse to be a dick all year long, cause i blow some change on her a few days a year? No, I do nice shit all the time... So what do i do for these lame holidays?

Lastly, I really need to start looking for a new truck. Used Toyota just like mine but with four doors. I have an 02 Tacoma, standard cab 4x4 with about every racing product you can buy for suspension, engine and exhaust... But I need to be able to tote around four of us now and two dogs, tow my boat and drive up my narrow roads... Don't want to sell it, I just paid it off, but I want to be responsible and get something a little more practical. besides, cruising her Subaru is great but, c'mon we need a truck!

Hope all is well in reader world and I'll be back soon...

Migraine is fucking killing me..... Out of meds and my fucking docter is out of town....

ARRRRRRRGGGG.... blogger rant!

yet again, blogger you manage to screw up a really good post.... i hate you, i you, i hate you... your new blogger benefits can suck it.... you take me .gif files and repeat them a million times! you freeze up my computer and i have to pull the plug and reboot from the network.... oh how I'm hating you... your lame spell check doesn't catch all mu hurried mistakes and never looks for capitals... you stick, like roadkill in the rain.... your new formatting is hard to figure out and now when i post comments on old bloggers you erase them and switch me over to google sign in! up your Internet black hole... your html options also blow major wad!!! who cares about putting labels on shit? why would these "cool" new functions be better? why can't i switch back over to the old blogger? why was my account slated for immediate swap? i hate you!!! do i now need to save every time i want to post? type one sentence and save? i think it sux....

notes to people who may or may not read this...

1)Well now, apparently the other day was a big communication error... Sorry bro...

2)I don't care who your fucking this week,so stop telling people to tell me you are not fucking them... And when I see you, stop being a fucking bitch. I am always polite and nice to you, so there is no real reason for you to continually act like a ten year old who just got the pink bike instead of the miniture pony you wanted.... Act your age...

3)I am glad you are back, thanks for the calls. Perhaps we can hang out some time when I have a chance...

4)Every time I see you now, I will try and torture you as much as possible... Only because I know that my presence bothers you so much.... If they could only fill those things with brains....

5)I cant wait to see you again, even though I only saw you this morning there never seems to be enough time....

6)Note to self, get to work!!!

to be cont.

Who the hell is this guy ZACK

Here is a link to the answers you have all been waiting for.... Yup I've been profiled by answering a few questiones... I think

that they came pretty close, but I really dont fit into any group. At least not one where I can be told who I am and why....

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (60%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness (43%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (80%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

HMM... Interesting, took this goofy little test this morning and it came up with this... I don't know if I agree but thats what it said.

I just didn't feel like going to church this morning... Or work... hahahahaha... Like you would ever catch me going to church! But I have been getting into this preping for my mornings before I go to bed. Coffee ready to just pour hot water into, washed to go mugs, lunch ready and bagged to take with me... Routine shit, stuff that "normal" people do everyday. Who ever the fuck they are. I've generally been getting to work on time and with a decent attitude. I'ts nice to get to work and be awake and in a good mood. Doesn't happen all that often and when it does it's a good deal for every one. When I'm in a good mood, everyone around me at work has a more pleasent morning.

Mechanic rant: We brought our fifty thousand dollar truck to you. You were the fucking specialist. You charged over three thousand dollars to replace and bullet proof a heavy duty transmission. In three days it failed. I told you on the phone what happened and you told me "That's impossible". I brought it back to you and you tried to blame me for the work I did upgrading the truck years back was the culprit. But on the reciept you gave us; that we paid in full; you stated that your company did a "complete cooling assembly flush and test." Why then, this morning did you call and tell us that the cooling system is plugged. Why did you and your highly trained batch of "service techs" not notice that when the transmission overheated the first time we brought it to you, that the cooling system was not functioning? Hmm... Let me break it down for you. It OVER HEATED, one might naturally think to first look at the COOLING SYSTEM.

Maybe I'm an asshole. But when we brought it to you and told you that this will be the third transmission since ford installed the first one that you might think to ask a few questions... Instaed of thinking you are the fucking best transmission specialest in the world. Who is the asshole now.. No, I dont feel bad for you that you just ate three thousand plus dollars. No, I dont even feel bad that you had to call and apologize for wasting our time and money, I do feel bad for you that a back yard mechanic with no proper training, who specializes in nothing told you what was wrong and then listened to you tell me that "we see this all the time", one upped you... we will be stopping by to watch you bust your knuckles and cry putting in a second transmission later this week...

I hate mechanics...

FRIENDS POST...

Was reading a friends blog this morning and it sounds like someone is going to throw and 80's prom party... You know, where you dress up like you are going to the prom, in the 80's... So I'd thought I'd post this picture/comic...

Yes, you are all getting sick of these cartoons, too bad... Not really, I'll stop posting them for every post i do, but this one was just pretty funny... Have fun at the prom party!!!

THINGS I WAS A PART OF TODAY...

tHIS POST WAS HEAVILY EDITED... I STARTED TO OFFEND EVERYONE. SO I WACKED OUT ABOUT HALF OF THIS DRUNKIN RANT AFTER READING IT AGAIN THIS MORNING...

No shit, Interesting day I say... Where do i start? I'll start at midnight this morning...

Buddies house, Hot tub... Ring a bell, nice... Water was a little low, so the jets were going nuts when they breached the upper edge, but it was nice to sit outdoors in the semi-rain with someone who likes you...
HMMMM...

"Wash" off the chlorine and scrub down in the shower afterwards, spent enough time in there to empty the water heater.... (heh)..... Found a note that said that "BUDDY" and his girlfriend were at the neighbors...

We go to the neighbors house, (its now around one a.m.) sneak up to the door and pretend to be cops....

I pound heavy on the door. "Open up it's the police!" In that oh so official voice...
Movement from inside... Scuffling, and some quiet voices...
Door opens....

So are the arms and good vibes!!!!
We are actually at a cops house, so the joke was not as appreciated as it would have been anywhere else....

To tell the truth we were at a friends house. She is a senior park ranger. (carries guns, automatics and a shotgun. In the patrol car type, asides from the holstered 9-mm. and secret one she hides else where. she is packing) Her hubby is a nurse at the upscale hospital in town as well as a park aid... (Got to have multiple jobs in this town if you want to live here... Can you say spendy?)

(Its at this point I can no longer hold back and have to say I'm a little angsty, have had a few beers and a shot of Yeagermeister this evening.) I digress...

We hang long enough there to watch our friendly ranger go to bed and we leave politely and drunk shortly there after.... on our way home we stop at the local bar. (The premise there was to return a kids movie I rented days before and to have a last drink...) Yes, our town is so small that the bars here double as movie rental stores, ice cream shops, general stores and gas stations.... What ever it takes to fleece the average tourist of all the money they can. We see some locals and feel the vibe there is weird... We give a shit, there really isn't much here that can affect us. We have fun! drive home and....

Three a.m. manage to pass out...

Wake up, spend the morning and early afternoon in bed.... Coffee, leftover pizza and such. I get "what did you do to me, I cant feel my legs" to work, eighteen minutes late. Oops! I chase down some mud to do a few doughnuts in,(that's where you drive around in mud and throw dirt up all over the place like a teenager with his/her first car. I'm still a kid a heart.) "Simple pleasures" ring a bell...

Then listened to my messages...

"Dude, I'm having people over tonight but I've invited other people..." "BUDDY" says.

This means people are invited that don't like me. I'll say this for BUDDY, he is my friend, (he is doing the best he can. in a situation where he is trying to be friends with two people who do not get along anymore.) Kudos bro.

Then there were two messages from yesterday... not important.

So i roll over to BUDDIES house... I was welcomed with open arms. a beer as i walk in, a bag of homemade jerky is presented to me as i read through the latest issue of "Shooter" magazine. A hardly used scented candle as a gift and a blow job... (Ha ha ha! just kidding.) I wouldn't want a blow job from BUDDY, I hear he likes to bite! (More jokes!!)

So, some readers might be getting bored by this point in my day... TFB. Go watch T.V. I don't even know whats on. So I cant slander you. Is real world still going? How bout shark week? Pimp my ride? Fuck it, beat it... I've had four blips since I've stated writing.... Don't know what that means? You don't read here enough... Go watch football reruns.

While I'm sitting, enjoying BUDDIES cheap beer and watching "The Scorpion King" on his uber expensive flat screen a car pulls up.

"Dude, my GUESTS are arriving... uhhh... what are you going to do?" He is obviously uncomfortable.

"What? Oh... I'm going to finish my beer and then I'm fuckin out of here." I casually say.

"Oh, okay, I'll see what they are going to do..." He leaves. Goes outside and his girlfriend looks at me hopelessly.

I turn red, Embarrassment sets in. "Fuck it" I say "I'm outta here. "you suck!" I say to myself.

Outside I go and "huge tits with no class" has pulled up. I grab a few beers from the stack and try to split...

"Yo Z!!!" I hear, From the shit box subaru passenger window...

Two old buddies jump out and we all go through the pleasantries... Don't let me belittle them here.... We talk to each other for a while and get back into the sort of friendly chat that we all used to have... To tell you the truth, it was really nice... Yes, it was the circumstance of us all being in the same place at the same time, but it felt like old times...

Huge tits with no class starts calling out for her boyfriend after a couple minutes...(She went right inside when she noticed me... Too many mammories not enough memories to have any respect for me or herself.) Boyfriend actually stayed outside for a few more minutes... Cool, a sliver of something real for me... Thanx boys, I'll remember that!

Want to be friends with every one? Possible.... Want to not offend someone? Not possible.. Sorry, tonight that sucked. Huge tits? I don't have them, do I care? No!

You thought someone else was coming over.... She didn't, Saw her at Fern wood with "holiday"... In arms... hahaha... Predictable...They left, so did I, Then they rolled up to River Inn, saw me again and then burnt tire to go up to apple pie....

So here I sit waiting for the best part of my life to show up... Watching people park next to my truck and get the shit knocked scared into them by my over aggressive, super friendly when I'm there, pit bull...

How does it go??? "Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives...." That's a T.V. reference,,, Soap opera style....

WTF? Blogger MADE me change to new blogger this morning... It seems there are just more fucking steps to get into this shit now... (Can you tell I'm a little annoyed?)

And now I've found these funny ass comics to post here as well, perhaps I'll put one in every now and then... Hopefully not too many, some of you might not want to read any sick humor. But whatever for you if you don't. This one is not that sick, but since I had to change to new blogger and leave the old one behind, I thought it was appropriate.

Quitting smoking is making me grouchy, I hate it. Being controlled by thoughts of my own, ones that don't let me think about the task at hand... On my way to town I was getting down on myself, really bummed me out, you know what I did? Bought some smokes... Yep, smoked a good deal of them too... I was going to town to do a little shopping and treat myself to something just for me.... Did I do it? No, I was a bit melancholy and said fuck it, when I deserve it, I'll buy it...lame I know...

Then I get home, back hurts like some one is shoving a shovel up my right side spine, so i lay on the floor to remove some pain and pass out... No dishes done, no laundry, didn't clean the rug like I wanted to. (One of the dogs barfed up a gallon of water onto it from the beach a few nights ago. It's been sitting outside since... gross.) yeah poor me, I'm not getting any house work done...

I'm just frustrated, I hate quitting smoking. I like to smoke, I like smokers and being outside. Being part of a special group who turn their noses at common sense and pollute their bodies and everyone around them. I like the smell, the ritual and having a light or smoke when some one needs one...

It's not just the act of smoking you quit, but the people, the back door access, the ability to leave an uncomfortable situation because, "oh hey, I'll be right back, i need a smoke..." You quit it all...

Bitch, bitch, bitch... You non smokers might have a clue but you have no idea... I took two smokes from the pack that I left with "working yet another double shift girl" this morning and I'm through those already... they were supposed to last me till four o'clock... grrr....

"That's all i have to say about that...."

P.S. Spell check on new blogger sux ass!!! it doesn't give you the option to "replace all" Nor does it correct capitalization errors... FU blogger....

OKAY, I stole this pic from a fellow bloggers site... I thought it was funny, really funny... So now its on mine! thanx Sushi... Any way, I'm trying not to smoke, not to have cigarettes in my possesion. Its been real tough.. Sometimes its really easy, yesterday, less than five smokes.. Night before however, a lot, less than a pack but more then usual...

Was at ferwood and started talking about a woman in town who ill skip her details, But her daughter was just killed in an unnecessary accident... It saddening. (more here.) and we sat and chained smoked for a while and drank away a few tears. When kids die, it just plain sucks ass.

So I'm keeping up with the quitting smoking. Cold turkey was the plan, but weaning off seems so much more my style. After twenty something years of smoking and being a smoker, the life style, the fun, (for you nonsmokers, its fun...), the easing qualities that it has, its tough to just walk away..

Other news, well, its fucking cold here.. Yeah, okay I wear shorts all year so I cant complain, but its really cold.. Um... Shit work is calling, hope to be back soon...

MINUTES LEFT...

YUP LUNCH IS ALMOST OVER... After going to town for parts this morning, I got to meet up with the girls for some bagels... Funny how everyone wanted someone elses bagel... We were all eyeing the bagel dog! Yes and screaming ensued as soon as one of us took the first bite of the seemingly unwanted bagel... Funny to be on the other side of things...

Normally if I heard a child in a restaurant complaining and throwing a fit I would offer up some duct tape and bailing wire... I've never held back from it, always have I obnoxiously voiced my opinion... So it was very amusing to be at the table with the cranky child... Fun accually... Reverse attitude I had, when we were glared at I, pulled back my hat and gave my best "fuck you asshole" look right back... hah... I'm still laughing inside right now!

Anyway, I leave town, fire down the coast and head directly to post ranch... One of our cement silos has thrown a feeder chain, back to the shop, ask a couple of questions and jam back up to the silo site with tools... Fixed in minutes flat... pat self on back and pass by the store where they sell cigarettes for the fourth time. What strength!!! As soon as I get into the office the radio lights up... Looking for me.

KW4 has blown an inner cooler bellow band...(like that? Sounds like I know what the fuck I'm talking about!) drive past the store up the hill and fix the problem... The bellow is getting a lot of movement and I think the cooler might be getting plugged... Lame, very expensive part!!! Drive back to the shop and pow!!! Right into the store and purchase a pack of smokes... Loser... I've been doing okay on the smoking... Some days are really easy, two/two and a half smokes a day... Saturday? Pack of smokes.. Loser... I was having an angsty day, drunk by noon and general pretty pissed off at the world... So I smoked, didn't feel too bad about it either...

Well I've got to go... Back to work... Perhaps ill post some more this evening!! Good day to you all!

Okay, okay...

Yes the picture below is a little out of place... Blogger has not let me post any photos in a while... So I thought id try this one and it worked... Means nothing I just thought it was kind of funny?? Weird?? I dunno, hope you all enjoy it!

BETTER DAYS!

Drove up to my house to meet with my landlord this morning and it had snowed!!! Sweet!!! I love snow in coastal California, how cool is that?!?!? It was like a fall day on the east coast! You know, cold as hell but that nice dry cold... Not the dank wet freezing cold that California normally has... The water got straight frozen out of it... I hope some of it stays on the ground until tonight... The girls are coming over and it would be fun to see them enjoy it!

Other news... Was at the bar last night, had a twelve year old scotch, courtesy of the bartender... A bud, and then the other bar tender came in and made us a new version of a kamikaze... Grapefruit flavored vodka in stead of regular... Now I know you cant make a kamikaze any better that it already is, but this was interesting enough for me to order another one some day... Then went to tiddleywinks house and promptly passed the fuck out...(okay there was a shower inbetween, I was filthy from work.) but in about five seconds I was out...

New tires on my truck... So huge! Not really, but they are bigger and now i at least i have some traction for the muddy road to my house!! Those ate up my tattoo money for this month but its still coming... Alright I have to get to work... Be back soon!!!

AN END TO SORRY....

Sorry to those who read and check in here everyday only to find no new posts, no comments uploaded and nothing new really happening at inner voices...

Sorry to all the "friends I've been offending these past two months..

Sorry to the dogs who have been getting toted around in my truck with truck/tractor parts and oils and such... Things will be better soon...

Sorry to my family who I never call, call back or try to get in touch with as often as I should...

Sorry to all the other things/bullshit/drama that I haven't dealt with...

But guess what?!?1 I'm not fucking sorry any more... I'm doing the best I can... My back feels like its going to break... I'm not complaining about it anymore! I'm on crack down at work so I don't get the time I'm used to having on the internet... So its not my fault, I cant do anything about it! I wish I had more time... I don't... Thank you is what I will say from now on... For reading and commenting and being who you all are!!

If I've been offending you these months or you don't agree with what I do... Again, fuck you, fuck your dog, fuck your group of back-stabbing fair weather friends and enjoy the ignorance of being close minded hypocrites... Oh and get your own life to worry about, stop cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend, stop pretending you are someone you are not and now that I'm no longer in your lives it should be really easy for you to find someone else to project your feelings of inadequacy on to... Oh and fuck you!!! How do you like me now...

Dogs are dogs and as long as they can come along or go for a ride they will be happy to shit, puke, hump, eat and sleep where ever the hell I am... So thank you beau and Charlie for being dogs.... I know you have no other choice but to love me and follow me around so I will try to give you a few more pats on the head....


My family knows I don't call, write, communicate or answer the phone when I'm supposed to so there is no real reason to address that... But I will try to be a better person when it comes to thanking them for gifts, love, and all the things that do happen for me because of them...

And about all the other things that I'm not dealing with right now.... If I'm not handling something, fuck it, its no longer important to me... Bye bye...


Well that feels a little better, I just wanted to let that out today... Little pent up shit there but now its gone... Events have unfolded and I'm right where I want to be in my life!! What you say?!?!? Happy? You ask... hahaha... Damn straight, I've got enough beautiful things on my plate to make any person happy for the rest of their lives and here I am right in the middle of it all... Bliss...

So happy fucking new year all and to let you know, this was just an end to sorry...

FEW THINGS!

I just wanted to say thanks for the positive responses to my last few posts.. Its hard when your life changes and for what ever reason people choose e to be completely fucking lame... And then when you do see them its like nothing that they have done is hurting you... So I just wanted to say thanks to my readers that have said some nice things and thanks to my friends who have stuck by me over these years of my life.... Truly you are some of the best friends a man/ person could have...

so other news... I'm thinking that tomorrow is the day I quit smoking... Yeah how many times have I said it, but I'm going to give it a trail run starting Thursday... So I guess that makes today the last day... I will see how it goes... Wish me luck!!!

my back hurts... (bitch, bitch, bitch...) got to go... More later...

Hello lurking reader from l.a. Are you the hate machine?